Authors: Brian Chikwava
I have never hear she talk like this. She wipe the snot and catch
she breath. 'Now you know everything. Go on and tell your cousin
and get this over and done with.'
Then she break down and start crying. 'I was thinking that
maybe Yakov would free me from the pain I feel after your cousin
cheat on me. Yeee but now it only leave me feeling worse and
bitter I end up having quarrel with my brother and telling him
that I don't care about his Aids and he can jump off his balcony
if he want. And he go and jump. From eighth floor. Now . . .'
Me I don't know what to do with this kind of thing.
'Don't worry. I know what you is feeling; I have feel it too. I
forget to visit Mother's grave for two years –'
'You don't know what you talk about,' she sniffle. 'Stop
pretending you know everything; you have no idea how I feel.'
She even start shouting now. 'And stop hiding behind the memory
of your mother so you don't have to face up to your real crimes
back home. Do you even know what is happening right now at
your mother's village? Do you want me to tell you?' Now she is
going out of topic; I get up and get out of the house before she
get out of control, this woman.
She is silly woman. I puff my cigarette as I step to the station.
She is stupid woman – she want me to do she dirty work. And
Tsitsi, this baby food is making big hole in our budget. Women,
they always complicate everything.
In the evening I get text message from Original Sufferhead – him
that was swinging like crazy on the door of the jackal the day they
recruit me. He is now in Harare South – Johannesburg; that's
where he run away to when I run away to Harare North and now
he is planning to sneak back home because his sister dead. Me I
have no ginger for this right now. If the police catch him, then
he is not clever.
Shingi say he have see another BBC graft advert – £13 per
hour. I give him one look and he know.
Th . . . this p . . . principled . . . m . . . man style will stop you
getting back home. But anyway I don't understand why
y . . . you w . . . want to go back to Zim if y . . . your mother's
village is going to be t . . . take over?' Shingi say. Me I have nothing
to say.
You can throw baby in the air and catch it with the point of
bayonet. That's what they used to do in Cambodia, I tell Tsitsi
and she go cold and quiet. Me I'm just joking, Tsitsi. Don't lose
sense of humour so fast, me I try to sweet she.
Shingi have been taking position in Aleck's room for two weeks
now.
Buy Tsitsi some sweet thing that will make she bite the bait, I
advise him. Something like one of them pointy shoes that make
London girls go crazy. But Shingi decide to buy denim miniskirt
for Tsitsi and one fetching hat for himself.
When he give the skirt to Tsitsi she laugh, 'I'm not prostitute.'
'But every girl in London we . . . wear this.'
'Maybe I ask MaiMusindo,' she threaten and run to she room
leaving the skirt on kitchen table.
That is empty threat, I tell Shingi. She have now stop going
to MaiMusindo on account she like it here without Aleck.
Shingi look at me and say nothing.
Don't worry, be happy; is it OK if I use some of your money
to buy us box of cigarettes and beer to celebrate life? I ask.
Them days jump up and down and dead; miniskirt is still on
the kitchen table. Now there's tea stain on it already and Shingi
have go out of the house.
'You was right,' I tell Tsitsi. 'No mother can ever wear that.'
Tsitsi look at me with big confusion.
Because now there is no use for the skirt and our floor mop's
head is worn out, I take the duct tape that Shingi pick from skip
long time ago and I tie the skirt to mop stick. Now we don't
have to buy new mop; I have save us £5.99.
Original Sufferhead have sneak back home. He have send another
text message and is excite – yari yari yari Comrade Mhiripiri leave
the Green Bombers.
You is years behind things, Original Sufferhead, you didn't know
this? Tom tell me this before I even run away. Ask me if you want
to know,
I reply him.
That is big-risk style especially if you is someone that have big
stammer. Only someone with smooth-talking style is able to whip
any girl with them lyrics, I warn Shingi. He have make another
plan to catch Tsitsi. He think he can whip she with them big
lyrics, get she head out of gear and before she know it, he will
thief his way into she knickers. But he don't want to listen to me.
Lyrics don't work on mother, I warn him again and he still
ignore me. Soon he step out of the house because he don't like
what I'm saying.
Me I drop £50 on Tsitsi. 'You can use it to go to your aunt
if you want. Don't trust Shingi these days.'
Tsitsi now behave like silly hen, she take the money with stupid
smile, give me the baby's milk bottle and leave baby with me so
she can go shopping for baby things.
In the evening, Shingi step back inside the house and pounce
on Tsitsi in the kitchen. He start chewing them words in way that
is not grand.
'I b-b-buy youuu sweet music CD soon,' he throw lyric at she.
'No, I don't want music. I have to buy baby nappies first.'
There is short silence now because this have put Shingi's head out
of gear. Then he find his way out of it and break out laughing
like this is joke and singing, 'Tsitsi, you are my sweet sweet sugar
pie.' Tsitsi think he is joking; Shingi mean it.
'You should only be uncle to the baby,' she laugh.
'OK, I will also b . . . be uncle.'
'You will only be uncle.'
'D . . . do you wa . . . want F . . . Fanta?'
'I want water.'
Shingi talk.
Tsitsi quiet.
Shingi go dump himself on his bed like hopeless man. Later
me I go inside my suitcase and drop Tsitsi another £50. 'I told
you Shingi is not person to be trusted these days. This is your
last chance.'
Shingi is looking troubled that he is only uncle.
But everything going to come together if you keep your eye on
the ball, I try to give him more ginger. Biggest weakness is that you
don't know how to put girl in tight corner, I teach him now. You
and everyone was treating me funny because I was Green Bomber,
but boys of the jackal breed know how to talk to people and convince
them about anything. If I was you, I would have win long time ago.
Making people think like you want them to think is one of
them things that you get teach first as Green Bomber. Don't make
no pointless talk. Sometimes you ask question and you only ask
simple question because if you ask long questions you also get
your head out of gear. Yes or No? that's the style. Once you learn
them tricks of Yes or No you can do things. Before someone know
it you have put them in tight corner. You can do that with anyone
or anything. Even with them girls. People that don't want to
answer Yes or No is always suspect, I teach the comrade.
Shingi is quiet.
Is it OK if I use some of our money to buy box of cigarettes?
Shingi is still quiet.
I know this because I see it straight in Goromonzi when we
take traitor out to them trees. Girls is easier; "Yes or No" here
and there and soon you have put she inside matchbox and she is
all yours to put inside your pocket. But you have to have training
for these things, I warn him.
'Me I'm worryful about Shingi. He is having diarrhoea and sometimes
that can be sign of that big disease with small name. I'm
also worryful for the baby; he is my only likkle brother, you know,'
I warn Tsitsi but she just look at me funny. 'Shingi have been in
prison before, do you know? Anyone who go to prison come out
with HIV.'
Love is like termite, I tell Shingi when he come back. He
is still desperate and suffer big torment. He is just being porridge.
He wreck himself on beer that night and Tsitsi and me is now
worried for him. This frighten Tsitsi now, she even sleep downstairs
because she don't trust Shingi sleeping inside Aleck's room
next to she room. Me I give the baby goodnight kiss.
That was not bad move, me I tell Shingi in the morning. But
improvement is needed. If you give she big fright then you have
chance to sniff she front bum. But take it easy, don't lose control
too fast.
Shingi say nothing.
Go get good box of shiny condoms or something for she, I
advise. But Shingi don't look me straight, you know, like I am
try to trick him or what.
Now our Member of Parliament have been paid again. I give
Shingi big brotherly smile when the week end; he have get his
wages again at his Westminster graft. From now on we call you
our MP, I stir the sugar inside him.
Shingi give me them few forced native kind of grins and one
big look like he accuse me of things.
You can buy box of condoms this time and sexy underwear.
Shingi say he only want to go out for walk. But he only go
and sit under chestnut tree and come back with some tramp that
I have see when I see the MFH under the chestnut tree. I remember
him because he is gap-toothed, have big wart on his nose and
look like he have sleep inside holes for years. He is hop-hopping
around on his crutches like injured city fox frightening Tsitsi's
baby so it cry.
'Shingi is just trying to bring disorder into the house now
because he can't catch you,' I whisper to Tsitsi in the kitchen. 'I
have see this
matshayinyoka
before.'
'What is
matshayinyoka
?'
'
Matshayinyoka
– the snake killer – is the person that them
neighbourhood's housewives call to deal with snake that come out
of its hole to threaten lives of people's children. He is loud, he
talk with his hands, and because he is the only man that is around
during the day, he is there to kill them snakes for free. For this,
housewives allow him to be they substitute husband until the snake
have dead. But the snake never die until promise of plate of
sadza
and
nyama
have been made loud and clear.'
Looking at Shingi and Dave the tramp for first time talk talk
inside the house is like watching long-lost friends who have
stumble upon each each in faraway land where they is not
expecting to see each each. Even when them communication
difficulties that is caused by language and culture difference is
easy to see, they make up for this by hints, winking of eyes, big
nods, communist-dictator kind of hand movement and funny
out-of-this-world sounds that escape from they mouths in
moments of excite.
* * *
Maybe it is good idea if we all go play in the park, I say to Shingi
on Sunday. That's because when Dave finally leave, yesterday,
Shingi look like he have catch the big cheer and this state is still
going on. Now the morning promise sunny day and the sky is
blue, like it is on one of them English summers that make them
days long like stupidity and it feels like everything going to last
for ever. Shingi have heap of ginger for this park idea; now he
even run to Woolworths to buy some £2 football so we can kick
around in the park and be happy like other people.
We is proper London family now, me I give him big smile when
he come back with the ball.
There is total of £1,745.13 in my suitcase now if you include
my own savings. That is US$3,403.00 with the exchange rate
at 1.95. If Tsitsi was not here maybe it would be £2,500 inside
suitcase. Or £4,000 is Sekai was behaving proper.
While we is looking for small corner where we can also squeeze
and fool around, Shingi is already blasting the ball high up in the
air.
Shingi, be careful.
He have now blast the ball into the middle of group of people
playing football and disturb they game; they don't say nothing
but one of them kick the ball back with crooked touch because
it go ten miles from us.
The park is full of people lying on grass frying they bodies in
the sun, playing with they kites, playing football and all.
When we find our corner, me and Shingi is fooling around
kicking ball to each each because Tsitsi say she just want to sit
down on grass with baby and watch. I show Shingi my football
skills because he is rubbish. I try to show him the one-two so
Tsitsi can see. I try to dink the ball over him. I do the back-heel
and hit him one clean nutmeg.
Tsitsi now leave likkle brother on the grass because he fall asleep.
'I play you now,' she say with giggle.
She run around chasing the ball as me and Shingi pass it between
us. Then Shingi make mistake and she get it. She kick it far away
into distance and it nearly hit this woman that is pushing pram.
Tsitsi gasp and giggle with both hand over she mouth and the
woman give us looks.
'You can kick better than Shingi because you have real proper
control of leg like you are not mother,' I whisper to she.
Tsitsi run and get the ball and pass it to me and now Shingi
is the one that have to do the chasing as me and Tsitsi pass the
ball to each each. He come running to me but he have the turning
range of Routemaster bus so me I turn him this way and that way,
that way and this way, inside out, and when it look like he is about
to put his back out, I finish him off with one sweet sweet nutmeg.
'Danger; don't mess with me!' I shout and hold my hands in
the air so Tsitsi can see. There's heaps of vex on Shingi's face
because I'm embarrassing him in front of Tsitsi. He turn around
now and chase after Tsitsi. As Tsitsi run for the ball me I see
now there's disaster on she bum: it look like she have been sitting
on head of goat that has just been cut off – blood on she dress.
She have hit the moon, I know straight away. She pass the ball
to me but I have to stop the play.
'You have hit the moon,' I tell she and she look at me like she
is going to cry in front of us. She don't even try looking behind
she dress.
'What should I do?' she ask. Shingi stand miles away shrugging
his shoulders. People is already looking at us.
'We go home?'
Me I don't know whether to say yes or no. There's big silence
and Shingi not saying nothing even if he is the one that should
be helping she.
Tsitsi walk over to the baby and take baby's shawl and wrap
around she waist to hide the blood. Baby wake up and start crying.
Tsitsi pick up she baby wanting to go and look at us. 'You not
coming?'
'People going to look at us funny,' Shingi say.
Tsitsi click she tongue and start: 'You is just like schoolboy that
go writing "Shingi was here" inside toilets,' she bite off Shingi's
head straight and square.
'What?' Shingi now puff up. But Tsitsi is in vex mood now.
She start to dump heaps on the comrade, you know in that style
like yari yari yari you still not know that girls go on the moon
and you think these English people also don't know; yeee they
know more than you and don't look at it funny!
She is almost shouting in the end and me I go kak kak kak
because Shingi is looking stunned. 'Me; me I don't know nothing,'
I try to crack joke.
'And that's the first truth that ever fall out of your mouth,' she
click she tongue with pure rural vex.