Happily Ever Now (Boundless Love Book 2) (6 page)

‘Will you play something for me sometime?’

‘As long as you agree to the few days a week.’

‘I think I already have.’

‘I mean really agree. I can tell that this makes you uncomfortable.’

‘Give me time, I’ll get there.’

He nodded. She took steps forward towards the dusk leather couch that filled the space in the centre. In the middle was a Persian rug. She looked to the left at the television built into the wall, and then her gaze stopped at the large window with the double French doors.

‘It’s beautiful.’ She gazed out at the patchy sky through the glass. ‘It’s really lovely.’

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He looked out into the sky and relaxed. Having Sahara in his life changed everything. He’d slowed down a lot at work, and just being in her presence made him question what was important.

‘I just want you to be happy.’ He pressed his lips into her neck.

‘I know that, and I am happy. I really am. How can I not be? I’m alive, I’m well and you’re in my life. I have everything I need…and…’ There was a sneaky smile on her lips.

‘And what?’

‘I know just where we can have the wedding.’ She looked back out onto the beautiful garden.

‘Do you think we’ll have good weather?’

‘Good weather or not, I’d really like it out there, amongst the natural beauty. We can always have a marquee just in case.’

‘Splendid idea.’

He turned her so he could look into her eyes. She smiled up at him, but just as he was about to kiss her, she fell back.

‘Sahara? Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine, I just need to sit down. I’m a little tired.’ Her heart started to beat. What was the sudden wave of weakness that had hit her?

‘I’ll get you some water,’ he said after he’d helped her to the couch.

She took in deep breaths and tried not to worry, it would pass, it was nothing. He was back with a glass of water. She took a few sips and then just leaned back into the couch to let everything settle.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘I’m fine. The house has overwhelmed me.’ She laughed lightly.

‘I guess you’ll have to tour the rest of it another day.’

‘No, no, just give me a few minutes. I’ll be fine. I want to see the rest of the house. Well, some of it.’

Ten minutes later he was showing her the kitchen, introducing her to some of his staff and showing off the rooms. There was his study that he sometimes used to work from home. There was a door that led them downstairs and into a wine cellar.

‘My goodness, all this wine.’

‘I know, I know. It’s a pity you don’t drink.’

‘I’m afraid not. But I don’t mind others who do.’

He nodded. He pointed out a few wines that he’d got abroad. He also showed her some of the most expensive wines.

‘I guess I’ll never drink some of these wines.’

‘Yeah, it’s just a collection.’

‘It is, I love it. It’s like collecting stamps from all around the world.’

‘Just that you collect wine.’

He laughed.

He led her upstairs and showed her the master bedroom. It had the same French doors as the living-room that opened onto a balcony. She stepped out and looked at the large opened field.

‘Just for that view, I’d live here. To wake up to this beauty would be amazing.’

‘You can, everyday of your life.’

‘I know, and I will, I’ll just take it in my stride.’

‘Of course honey.’

Unfortunately they weren’t able to finish the tour of the house. Sahara had felt a little light headed again, and decided she wanted to go home and just lie down.

‘You don’t have to come with me. Why don’t you spend some time with Logan? I’ll be okay.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’ She stepped into the car.

‘See you later?’

‘Yes, see you later.’

He kissed her before shutting the door behind her. As soon as the car drove off, she leaned back into the seat and tried to get some rest.

The minute Sahara got home, she headed straight for bed. She just wanted to pass out, and be left alone for a moment. It scared her, but not enough to make her want to call the doctor. It was early days, the side effects of the chemotherapy were possibly still in her system. At least that was what she hoped.

Chapter Three

Sahara knocked on Emily’s door early on a Saturday morning. It took a moment before she opened the door.

‘You’re here, come in!’ Emily took her into a big hug. ‘Felicity is just making a cuppa. Would you like one?’

‘I’d love one thanks.’ She followed Emily through to the kitchen.

‘Hey you!’ Felicity waved as she poured the boiling water into the cups.

‘Hey.’ Sahara walked towards her and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

‘Would you like a drink?’

‘Oh yes please. Do you still have any green tea I left last time?’

‘Do I ever! There is still the same number of teabags that you left the last time.’ She laughed.

‘Well then, green tea it is.’

‘Perfect.’

‘Let’s go into the living-room, we can chat in there. This is so exciting!’ Emily led the way.

Felicity soon joined them with cups of hot drinks. They threw a few large cushions onto the floor and sat in a semi circle.

‘Soooo, the big day!’ Emily rubbed her hands as if they were cold. ‘You’re certainly in a hurry! It doesn’t give us much time to plan.’

‘Well, there isn’t much to plan. It’s a small wedding. Nothing grand and fancy like yours.’ She teased.

Felicity snorted. Emily tapped her friend on the shoulder playfully.

‘Before we go ahead with the wedding plans, I have some news.’ There was a sparkle in Emily’s eyes.

‘Let me guess, you’re pregnant!’ Sahara blurted.

‘You ruined it!’

‘Honey, it was obvious! You mentioned it was a possibility. It doesn’t change the excitement of the news!’ she laughed.

‘I know, but I wanted to say it!’

‘Okay then, say it, pretend we don’t know.’

Felicity giggled.

‘Fine, I’m pregnant.’ She giggled. ‘I’m so excited and so is Myles!’

‘I’m so happy for you.’ Sahara took her into a hug.

‘Congrats love!’ said Felicity. ‘Can’t wait to see what your baby will look like.’ She took a sip of her tea and looked at her happy friends. ‘I have an announcement of my own.’

They looked at her expectantly.

‘Now before you say anything, just listen to me.’

‘We’re not going to say anything,’ said Sahara.

‘Especially you.’

Sahara giggled.

‘I’ve ditched Craig.’

‘Oh wow, that’s a bold move. You sure you’re ready to move on?’ asked Sahara.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘Because you’ve done this before, and you went back to him.’

‘Well, if you let me finish then you’ll understand why I won’t be going back to him.’

‘Okay. Continue ma’am.’

They gazed at her curiously.

‘I’ve met someone else.’ She lifted her hand to stop Sahara from making a comment. ‘I like him, and I know he’s serious about me. He really wants to be with me.’

‘Wow, that’s great Fel,’ said Emily.

‘Yes, that’s great news, I’m really happy for you.’

She looked at Sahara. ‘The floor is yours. I know you’re dying to give me words of wisdom.’

‘I am, but I won’t.’ She started to fiddle with a folder she’d brought along with her.

‘No, actually I want to hear it. As a matter of fact, even though I don’t admit it. I do get some insight from the things you say. Actually, most of the times you’re right, so go ahead, hit me with it.’

‘You sure?’

‘Certainly.’

Emily looked from Felicity to Sahara and waited.

‘Okay. What I wanted to say is don’t mess it up.’

‘Why would you think that?’ She was already on the defensive.

‘Because it’s what you do.’

‘I do not.’ She looked at Emily to take her side. ‘Emily?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Traitor.’

Emily laughed.

‘Let’s forget it. You don’t need to hear anything from me.’

‘No, why don’t you continue.’

‘Because you sound angry, I was just trying to help you.’

‘I’m not angry, just afraid of what you might say.’

‘You know I won’t say anything to hurt you. I only want what’s best for you.’

‘I know. It’s just me and men.’

‘Yeah well I’m no expert. I’m dealing with my own insecurities.’

‘Aren’t we all,’ said Emily. ‘But we just need to take it one day at a time.’

‘I agree,’ said Sahara.

‘I still want to know what you were going to say.’

Sahara looked at Felicity. There always seemed to be an urge to give her advice. Advice she really should be taking herself.

‘I just wanted to say don’t be afraid.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Yes you are. You’re always afraid, and your fears play out over and over again. That’s what happened with Craig.’

‘How so?’ She folded her arms.

‘I think you’re afraid of loosing yourself.’ She was talking more to herself than Felicity.

Felicity raised her eyebrows.

‘You’re a highly educated woman. You’ve got everything you need, but then when it comes to men, you seem so powerless.’

‘I’m not. I’m not afraid of loosing myself.’

Sahara smiled. ‘I think you are, that’s why you go on and on about him.’

‘About who?’ She played dumb

‘You know who silly,’ said Emily. ‘Craig.’

‘Yeah, I’m finished with him.’

‘So you say. But I can guarantee you’ll go on and on about this new guy. It’s a pattern with you.’

‘I don’t see how this is at all relevant,’ said Felicity.

‘Soon he’ll do something you might not like, we’ll get together and we’ll over analyse him. You’ll stress about what he’s not doing and soon you’ll be consumed by it. On the one hand you think you’re available and wonder why he starts pulling away.’

‘I don’t get it.’

‘That’s your pattern. In the beginning things will be great, and then he’ll do something that will shake you. It will then be something that continues to eat at you. And while you think you’re available you really aren’t. You’re wondering about him.’

‘So?’

‘Be available and this one will work out.’

‘I am.’

‘To be available is to be here, to be independent and to get on with your life. Don’t spend your hours thinking about him, it will totally turn him off you.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I think you know.’

Felicity leaned into the base of the couch. She had to admit that Sahara had a point. But to Sahara, it wasn’t about Felicity, it was about her. She was terrified of loosing herself to Eugene. She was terrified of giving up her independence, hence the constant fight for control. It frightened her so much that she wondered why she’d agreed to marry him.

‘Don’t sweat it. You’ll be fine,’ said Sahara.

‘That was some insight. Are you sure we’re really talking about Fel here?’

‘Maybe not.’ Sahara had to admit.

They gazed at her.

‘Please don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.’

She sucked in a deep breath and dropped her head. For a moment she fiddled with the folder.

‘Sahara? Nooo!’ Emily watched her friend.

Sahara bit back her lip. ‘I don’t know. I feel as though I’m loosing myself. This pep talk wasn’t for you, it was for me. I can’t do this.’

‘Don’t say that. What do you mean you can’t do this?’

‘I can’t marry him, not yet, not now.’

‘What happened to living in the moment? You were on a roll, you even set the date.’ Emily was stunned.

‘I know, I know.’ She puffed. ‘I know. I just feel like I’m loosing parts of myself.’

‘You know that’s not possible,’ said Emily. ‘You of all people know that.’

‘That’s the thing. I know it here.’ She pointed to her head. ‘But I don’t know it here.’ She pointed to her heart. ‘It’s one thing to know it, it’s a whole new ball game to practice it.’

‘But you were so happy. You look happy,’ said Felicity.

‘I was caught up in the moment. I…’

‘What’s going on honey? Is everything okay?’

Sahara wiped away a tear. She loved him, there was no doubt about that, but she didn’t want to give herself up for him. She couldn’t understand why it was so hard to let go of that thought.

‘He gave me five million pounds!’ She blurted.