Happily Ever Madder: Misadventures of a Mad Fat Girl (26 page)

44

I
pick Jalena up at her house, which is an adorable cottage about a hundred yards from her daddy’s marina on Frog Bayou. She has twice as much luggage as I do, and I packed enough for two weeks. We get it all situated and she gets in the car and Buster Loo promptly nestles himself into her lap.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me,” she says. “It’s not every day someone invites you to Bugtussle, Mississippi.”

“Don’t get too excited,” I caution. “So have you talked to Tia?” I ask. “I’ve called her two or three times, but she hasn’t called me back. It kind of hurts my feelings because I thought we were friends.”

“She’s fickle like that,” Jalena says. “I’ve only talked to her once, and that was after I left her a message about Girls Night In last week. She told me she was working all the time and that she went to see Afton last weekend.” She looks at me. “I think it’s over between her and Kevin.”

“Did she say that?”

“Nope, he did when he came in for lunch today.” I glance at her and she’s shaking her head. “He hasn’t heard from her in weeks, so he’s concerned, you know, that he made her mad,” she says, and I start feeling like a dirtbag again. “He was asking me all these questions, because you know how a guy will push you away until you start walking, and then they get worried that you won’t come back.”

“Right,” I mumble, thankful to be driving in the opposite direction from my drama.

“I told him that I couldn’t help him. All I know is she’s working a lot.”

“I miss talking to her,” I say.

“She’ll come back around,” Jalena assures me. “She’s always been like this. She’s gone weeks without calling me before when nothing at all happened. I’m sure she’ll be at the Halloween party weekend after next. No matter what’s going on, she won’t miss that because she rustles up a lot of business at these big get-togethers in town.” She looks at me. “Are y’all going to that?”

“I don’t know anything about it,” I say.

“Oh, you have to go,” she says. “After this little trip, you and Mason will kiss and make up, and then you can start planning the costumes.”

“Costumes?”

“Yeah, girl! Everyone dresses up! It’s like Mardi Gras in October. The city closes down three blocks of Dock Street, and the Blue Oyster has a band. It’s a great party. You can’t miss it.”

“Sounds like fun,” I say and my heart breaks as I think about the mess I’m in with Mason.

“Oh, it is,” she assures me. “So where are we staying when we get to Bugtussle?”

“It’s a surprise,” I tell her. “Especially for the person we’re staying with.” Then I tell her I’m kidding and pick up the phone to call Lilly.

“What’s up, sister?” I ask when she answers. “I was just going to leave you a message.” We chat for a few minutes, and then I tell her that Jalena and I are on the way to Bugtussle and she squeals with delight and insists we stay with her. We talk a few more minutes, and when I put the phone down, I tell Jalena I’m taking her on a weekend getaway in a grown-up Barbie dollhouse.

“It’s pink with all of this decorative white trim,” I tell her as I pull out on I-10. “It’s like a dolled-up mini Victorian mansion. It’s really over the top, but it’s also very cute.”

“I can’t wait,” she says, scratching Buster Loo behind his ears.

Three hours later, we stop for gas in Meridian, and she takes Buster Loo for a short walk while I fill up the car. Then we drive through a fast-food joint and get some cheap and greasy supper. Three hours after that, we arrive in Tupelo.

“Tupelo, Mississippi,” Jalena says. “Birthplace of the King!”

I exit off Highway 45 and take Highway 78 toward Memphis.

“How far is Bugtussle from Memphis?” she asks.

“A little less than an hour,” I tell her, “depending on the traffic.”

“I would love to go to Memphis.”

“You’ve never been?” I ask.

“Nope.”

“We’ll go, then! You would love Beale Street.”

“Let’s do it,” she says. “Hey, am I going to meet your parents while I’m up here? Do they still live in Bugtussle?”

I don’t answer immediately because I have to think about the best way to tell her about my parents.

“Not on good terms?” she says, guessing.

I take a deep breath and tell her that my parents passed away when I was eleven after they were in an automobile accident and that I moved in with my dad’s mom and lived with her until I moved off to college.

“Ace, I’m so sorry,” she says. “I had no idea.”

“There’s no way you could have known unless I told you.” I look at her. “Don’t worry about it.”

“And your grandmother?” She looks at me warily.

“Passed away when I was a junior at Mississippi State. I took a break from school after she died and spent a year in Europe with a study-abroad program. Then I went back to school, finished my degree, and moved into her house, which my friend Chloe has been renting for the past few months but is about to move out of because she’s buying a house of her own.”

Jalena shakes her head, then looks back at me. “Brothers and sisters? Cousins?”

I shake my head, and the truth about how alone I am in the world bears down on me like a ton of bricks. “My parents were both only children and Gramma Jones was the last grandparent I had.” I bite my lip and try not to cry. Jalena reaches over and pats me on the back.

“I can’t even imagine, Ace,” she says. “I wouldn’t know what to do without—” She stops. “I’m sorry. It’s just my heart is breaking for you right now.”

“It’s okay,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. “That’s the hand I was dealt, and I deal with it.”

I put on my signal for the Bugtussle exit.

“I got a feeling I’m gonna meet some good people here in Bugtussle, Mississippi,” she says as we get off the highway.

“You are,” I tell her, and a few minutes later, I turn onto Cotton Drive.

“Dang!” Jalena says as I turn into Lilly’s driveway. “Either a whole lot of people live with your friend or she’s throwing you one hell of a welcome home party.”

45

W
e get out of the car and Buster Loo makes a run for the backyard. Lilly comes around the corner of the house and hugs me and then Jalena. I introduce them, and then Ethan Allen walks up and tells us not to even think about touching those bags. He hugs me, and when I introduce him to Jalena, he hugs her, too. She glances over at me in surprise and I just smile at her. Ethan Allen grabs two handfuls of luggage and starts toward the house.

Jalena turns to Lilly and says, “Your boyfriend is such a gentleman.”

“Oh, that is so
not
my boyfriend,” she says. “My boyfriend is out in the backyard drinking beer.”

Jalena looks at me. “Well, whose boyfriend is he, because there’s no way that guy is single.”

“Actually, he is,” Lilly says, smiling at me.

Jalena cuts her eyes over to me and says, “Ace Jones, why didn’t you warn me about him?”

“I didn’t know he would be here,” I whisper, because Ethan Allen is coming back to the car.

“C’mon in the house,” Lilly says. “I guess y’all want to freshen up.”

“I definitely do,” Jalena says, glancing back at Ethan Allen.

Lilly takes us upstairs and shows us to our rooms while Jalena continuously compliments Lilly’s whimsical home.

“Lilly, will you check on Buster Loo, please?” I ask her. “He made a beeline for the crowd as soon as he got here.”

“Oh, you know he’s fine, but I’ll go check on him anyway,” she says.

When Lilly goes back downstairs, Jalena comes into my room and whispers, “Why didn’t you tell me about
him
?”

“Never thought about it,” I say. “He’s a homeboy who won’t ever leave Mississippi and you’re a homegirl who won’t ever leave Florida, so it never occurred to me to mention him to you.”

“Who said I wouldn’t ever leave Florida?” Jalena whispers.

“You did,” I say, poking her on the arm.

“Well, I was lyin’,” she says.

We hear Ethan Allen coming up the steps and we step out onto the landing, where he has just put down some more luggage.

“You ladies must be plannin’ on stayin’ a while,” he says with a smile.

“Jalena said she might stay forever,” I say teasingly, and Jalena punches me in the arm.

“I didn’t say that,” she snaps. She looks at Ethan Allen. “Thank you so much for getting my bags. That’s really sweet of you.”

“Ladies don’t tote bags when I’m around,” he says, turning to go back down the stairs. “One more trip should get it.”

“I am going to kill you!” she says, picking up her makeup bag. “I’ve got to go get foxy.”

Ten minutes later, I’m leaning on the door of Jalena’s bedroom waiting for her to finish her makeup.

“C’mon,” I tell her. “You’re among friends. Nobody cares if you’re wearing eyeliner.”

“Just give me a minute,” she says.

“Okay.” I go downstairs and set Buster Loo’s food and water bowls up in the kitchen. Then I get his bed out and stick it in the corner next to those. I hear Jalena come down the steps and I call out that I’m in the kitchen. Lilly comes in with an empty ice cream freezer and starts rinsing it out in the sink.

“When did you start making homemade ice cream?” I ask.

“Ever since you moved,” she says. She looks at Jalena and nods at me. “She gets my man hooked on that damned homemade banana ice cream that nobody knows how to make but her and then she moves out of the state.”

I start laughing and tell Jalena the story about the time Lilly was trying to hit on Dax and claimed to love homemade banana ice cream when she really hates it.

“Then she had to eat a cup,” I say. “And they’ve been a happy couple ever since.”

When we walk out onto Lilly’s back porch, I look over and see Buster Loo sitting on the swing with Chloe.

“Well, hello!” she says, getting up to hug me. She nods toward Buster Loo. “Look who’s keeping me company.” I introduce her to Jalena, and then Lilly shows up and insists on introducing Jalena to everyone else. I sit down on the porch swing with Chloe and talk to her for a few minutes while Buster Loo pretends he doesn’t know me. She doesn’t mention Gramma Jones’s house, so I don’t either.

Chloe finally runs me off because she doesn’t want to keep me from seeing everyone, so I walk around and talk to a lot of my old pals and thank everyone for coming by to see me.

“They’re not here to see you,” I hear someone say and turn to see Dax Dorsett. “They’re here for the homemade ice cream, because Lilly has become quite a celebrity with your secret recipe.”

“Dax!” I say to Lilly’s handsome young boyfriend. “How are you?” He gives me a hug and we chat for a minute, and then he leans down and whispers that Lilly’s ice cream isn’t
quite
as good as mine.

“She probably uses skim milk instead of whole,” I whisper to him. “Next time you want some, pick up a quart of that and stick it in the fridge.”

“Ah,” he says, smiling. “I’ll do that.”

Someone hollers at him and he walks off and I turn around to see Coach Logan Hatter.

“Hatt!” I say and give him a big hug. “It’s so good to see you. How’s school going?”

“Well, it’s pretty boring without you across the hall, but that mean ol’ girl they hired to replace you is pretty hot, so I manage,” he says and starts laughing.

“And here I was thinking I was irreplaceable,” I say.

He drapes his arm around me and says, “All my old girlfriends are irreplaceable.” He smiles at me. “That’s why I go to such great lengths to stay in their good graces.”

I shove his arm off my shoulder. “You are so full of it!” I tell him.

“How’s the art gallery going?” he asks. “You’re just down there in Florida living the dream, huh?”

“It’s going,” I say, not wanting to talk about it, so I ask him who he thinks will win the national championship in college football this year, and he forgets all about me living the dream and gives me a full breakdown of the top five teams he thinks have the best chance. Listening to him talk, I start to think I made a terrible mistake quitting my job. Because I had it made teaching art at Bugtussle High School across the hallway from Logan Hatter.

After carrying on with him for a few more minutes, I go inside to get some water. Ethan Allen follows me into the kitchen, where he props up on the bar.

“Heard you and my man Mason are in a bit of a skirmish,” he says.

“You’ve talked to him?”

“Yeah, he called me about an hour ago when he got home and found your note.” Ethan Allen looks at me. “Said you pulled quite a stunt at some ball or something?”

“I did, but it needed to be done,” I say. “I want an apology from him and I’m sure he wants an apology from me, and I don’t think either of us will get what we want.”

“That’s what he said.”

My heart drops at this confirmation that Mason has no intention of apologizing, either.

“I’m tired, Ethan Allen,” I tell him. “I don’t like it down there. I’m not happy and I’m tired of trying to pretend that I am.”

“Well, what happened, Ace? I thought things were going good for y’all.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “I did all that work to get that gallery ready, and then after it opened, it was nothing like I expected, and even if I’d sold a hundred paintings instead of just one, I don’t think I’d like it any better, so there’s that, plus Mason working all the time.” I look at him. “
All
the time. Then he took on two more cases just like the one he’s working on now, so it’ll be at least another year before life gets back to what
I
want
my
normal to be.” I look down at my glass of water. “So then I went on this crazy cooking spree, and then I pulled that stunt at the charity ball, and now here I am.”

“Well, you know what I think,” Ethan Allen says. “I think y’all both need to move back home.”

“I’m ready,” I say, “but you know he’s not going to do that, and he shouldn’t have to, because he’s perfectly happy down there.”

“I know, but I still wish he would.”

“Me, too,” I tell him. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“About what?” Lilly asks, bouncing into the kitchen.

“Things aren’t going so great with Mason and me,” I tell her. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”

“Aw, man,” Lilly says. “And here I was thinking you made this trip because you miss me so bad.”

“You know I do,” I say, giving her a hug. “And thank you so much for doing all of this. It’s so nice to be around so many people that I know.”

Lilly grabs some more plastic spoons out of her cabinet. “I’ve got to get back outside,” she says, then looks at me. “You should, too.”

Later that night, I’m sitting on the back porch with Lilly, Chloe, Jalena, and Ethan Allen. Buster Loo is snoozing in Jalena’s lap.

“So, what do you think of all these country folks up here in Mississippi?” Ethan Allen asks Jalena.

“Love ’em,” she says. “I’m a country girl myself.”

“Really?” Ethan Allen asks, looking at me.

“She lives outside Pelican Cove in a nice little place called Frog’s Bayou,” I tell him.

“Really?” he says again, looking back at Jalena.

“You’re looking at the Frog Giggin’ Queen of Escambia County,” Jalena tells him, and we all start laughing.

“I did not know that about you, Jalena,” I say.

“True story,” she says.

“You’ve got tidewater rivers down there,” Ethan Allen says. “That ain’t even fair to the frogs.”

“It’s not fair to the frogs because I gig like a champ,” she says.

“Are there not alligators in those rivers?” Chloe asks.

“Oh yeah, but they dive when you shine a spotlight on ’em,” Jalena says. “Frogs just freeze up, which makes them a lot easier to gig.”

“Spotlight!” Chloe says. “You do this in the dark?”

“Oh yeah,” Jalena says. “Only amateurs gig in the daytime.”

“So how do you know if you’re giggin’ on a frog or a gator if it’s dark?” Lilly asks, and I get a big kick out of how wrapped up Lilly and Chloe are in Jalena’s story.

“Gator eyes reflect red,” Jalena says with unwavering certainty. “Frog eyes reflect white or maybe yellow.”

I’ve never actually seen someone fall in love, but watching Ethan Allen listen to Jalena talk about frog gigging makes me think I’m doing just that.

“Oh, that would scare me to death,” Chloe says. “Looking at all of those eyes in the dark.”

“No, it’s so much fun. I’ll take y’all next time you come down,” Jalena says, and Lilly laughs and tells her she should have her own show on the fishing channel.

“I’d watch it,” Ethan Allen says, leaning back in his chair but keeping his eyes on Jalena.

Chloe announces she’s got to leave because she has to be at work in the morning, so she gets up to go. Ethan Allen leaves a few minutes later, and Lilly, Jalena, and I go inside and stand around Lilly’s kitchen and talk. Buster Loo comes in and helps himself to some dog food, laps up a little water, and then curls up in his bed.

“What do y’all want to do tomorrow?” Lilly asks.

“You’re not going to work?” I say.

“Girl, I pulled an Ace Jones and called in sick!” she says, laughing.

“You are too funny, Lilly,” Jalena tells her. “Thank you so much for introducing me to everyone tonight. I really had a great time.”

“Well, the fun is only beginning,” Lilly says.

“Hey, why don’t we get up early and go to Memphis?” I say.

Lilly looks at Jalena. “You want to?”

“I’d love to,” Jalena says.

“Well, let’s all get in bed so we can get up and get gone,” Lilly says. We say our good nights and Jalena thanks Lilly again for her hospitality. Lilly goes off to her room and Jalena and I go upstairs, where I pick on her a little bit about Ethan Allen, but not too much. She asks if we’ll see him again before we go home, and I assure her that we will. We say good night and I go in my room, close the door, and pick up my phone. No missed calls. I lie down and my heart aches when I think about Mason down there working himself to death and coming home to an empty house. I close my eyes and wish a thousand times that things could be different for us. I wish I could be different.