Hannah (The Hawthorne Sisters) (3 page)

It was a beautiful April day, one for the record books. It usually didn’t warm up until later
on, but in the second week of April there was a three day stretch of warm weather. Bryce took Ruby out of her stall, and got her ready for a ride. You didn’t usually get weather like this in April, and he wanted to take full advantage of it.

Hannah was on his mind again. It was becoming a pattern. He’d push the thoughts away, and they’d come rushing back like funneled water. He hadn’t thought about anyone like this in a while. He hated that it had to be her, Tuc’s daughter. What would he think? Ashamed to be thinking of his friend’s daughter that way, he tried to push the thoughts away yet again
, only they’d come back stronger.

She was a woman, dammit, not a child. It was a natural thing
. She was a beautiful girl. Any man could see how attractive she was. He’d barely seen her since the day she stopped by, and yet her image was burned in his brain. He’d trace it carefully, over and over, remembering the way she looked at him, the way she scurried out, afraid to feel what she was feeling, too. There was electricity between them, and neither wanted it to be there.

Bryce thought of how much of a woman she’d become. She stepped up when her father died
, trying everything she could to keep the farm. She was a woman with fire, and those liquid blue eyes were something he could get lost in for days. He respected her desire to stand on her own two feet, and knew she was something special.

Her slender thighs, the way her jeans were practically painted onto her skin
, left nothing to the imagination. The way they gripped the curve of her bottom, it was hard not to stare when she turned and walked away. The curves of her body spoke to him, and the softness in her face and smile said she was a woman he wanted to hold.

Her soft, blonde hair cascaded
down just below her shoulders. He wanted to lie beside her naked and run his hands through the silk of her hair, reminding him just how feminine she was. Bryce looked down at his hands, all weathered and worn. He wasn’t aging well. He had lines showing in his face from years of working outside, and he’d have gray in his hair soon enough, he was certain. She hadn’t come back, and wouldn’t return those feelings. He was simply an older man, the guy who was friends with her father. Bryce scoffed and climbed onto Ruby. Taking her out for a good run would do them both good.

He felt like a dirty old man picturing her naked. He should be ashamed. Sure it was natural, but no matter how he sliced it, it was his friend’s daughter. She wasn’t somebody he should be thinking of that way. He led his mind back to work
, slowly peeling it away from Hannah.

Tuc would understand, right? Tucker Hawthorne was a fair man. He would have seen the chemistry between them, would know that Bryce would treat her
well…right?

This was ridiculous. If he wanted to meet a woman, he should go into town more often, not hit on his neighbor’s girl.

He knew at the end of his ride what he needed to do.

Stopping by their home, he wrapped his knuckles
on the door. Gretta answered with a surprised smile. “Bryce, what can I do for you? Please come inside.”

“Afternoon,” he greeted. Removing his hat, he stepped inside. “I wonder if I might have a word with Hannah. Would she be around?”

“Hannah?” She was surprised, not sure what this was about. That’s when it hit her.
Could it be?

“She’s out in the back
. You can let yourself through the kitchen door.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Ma’am? I’m much too young to be a ma’am,” she teased.

“I reckon, Gretta.”

“Much better.”

Bryce? Was it possible? She didn’t want to pry or peek or listen in, but what business could Bryce Callahan have with her daughter? And was this the man that had been in her mind for the last few weeks, when she’d find her lost in thought?

Gretta peeked out the kitchen window, and then thought better. She knew it wasn’t right, and left them alone. Sitting on the living room sofa, it about killed her to know what was going on. She had no idea there was something between them. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions, because she hadn’t seen either together, but…no. No, it’s not that.

She waited, itching to know what was going on. Sarah would have been nosy, peeking out the window, but she wasn’t home.

When Hannah came back inside, Bryce was gone.

“What was that about?” She tried to remain as calm as possible, not to give anything away. Hannah could almost smell the curiosity on her mother.

“Nothing important.”

“Oh? I didn’t realize the two of you were friends.”

Hannah shrugged. “He asked me on a date.”

“A date
?” Gretta couldn’t hide her surprise. Trying to refrain from overreacting, she swallowed. “What did you say?”

“I said no.”

“No? Isn’t he the one you’ve been…” she stopped herself, realizing that she’d leaked more than she intended to.

“I said no,” Hannah answered
. “I figured you’d want to know. If Sarah was home, you’d have sent her to be the nosy one.” Her mother didn’t need to know she said yes, not yet anyway.

“I would do no such thing,” she said, clucking her tongue
as her daughter walked away. Her daughter knew her well.

Why did she say no? She was a stubborn child, really. Bryce Callahan was a good man. Hannah was always such a strong, independent girl. She didn’t think she needed anyone, but one day she’d see
. It wasn’t that she’d need a man, but a companion and lover would change her life. Family, a husband… didn’t she want that? She couldn’t be alone forever. Well, maybe she could, but is that what she truly wanted?

Bryce went home with a smile. He wasn’t sure she’d say yes, but when she did, he knew. She felt it
, too. There was something between them. Could it be more than a spark? There was only one way to find out.

The call came later that night
. Beverly was in trouble again. It grew old, chasing around after his sister. He thought that one day she’d figure it out and grow up. He’d need to put his foot down. This wasn’t the life he wanted to live, paying for her mistakes. He was tired of the late night calls, the bailing her out of trouble, and her lack of consequences. It was time for her to pay for her mistakes and take responsibility for her actions. He’d give her this last time, a get out of jail free card, but she’d need to make a choice. She could go into rehab and clean up her ways, or she’d have to get herself out of trouble from this point forward. He loved her, but he wasn’t doing either of them any favors by always saving the day. He made it too easy for her to continue the lifestyle. It was a rough conversation, but one that they had to have.

He told
Hannah he’d pick her up at eight on Saturday. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing. It had been so long since he’d gone on a date. He’d tried it a few times, but women either fell into one of two camps-- ones that wanted a family by the second date, or ones that didn’t fulfill him. Too fast, or too much, or too empty…and it turned him off on the entire dating thing.

Only now,
he thought with a smile, this weekend he’d be taking out Hannah, and he had a feeling she was different.

On Saturday,
Hannah sorted through her closet while analyzing each article of clothing. It shouldn’t be this hard. It was just a date, not like she hadn’t been on one plenty of times. It’s just that most guys weren’t her type, and the more recent dates she’d been on left her flat. She would rather be alone than go out just to go out.

He didn’t say where they were going, and she didn’t know what to wear. Would they drive a town over,
or stay in their own small town? Was he cooking? Jeans? A dress? She should have asked. She felt foolish, like a schoolgirl.

She still hadn’t told her mother. This was probably about the time she should mention it. He’d be here soon.

“So, Mom…” she said, standing against the wall, looking down. “I have a date.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. Can you help me figure out what to wear? I don’t want to look…too young.”

Gretta smiled and stood. This was her way of telling her who it was.

“What about that blue dress, the one with the small white dots on it? You can wear a more casual jacket over it to dress it down, so you’re both casual and dressy.”

“Thanks.” A soft smile spread across her face. She wanted to talk about it, delve into her thoughts and details, but she held them too close. She wasn’t even sure what she thought about it at this moment. This wasn’t like anything she’d felt before. She was drawn to a man and didn’t know why.

Bryce pulled into the Hawthorne’s driveway and gripped the steering wheel tighter. Rubbing his palms across his slacks, he wiped at the small beads of sweat that were forming on his palms. Why was he nervous? This was ridiculous. He felt more like a schoolboy than a man in his thirties. He hadn’t been this nervous in ages.

Getting out of his truck, he walked up the path
, and knocked on the door. When Hannah opened it, she took his breath away. She was beautiful. He’d never seen her in a dress, other than at the funeral, and that was hardly the time to take notice of a woman in a dress. Her hair was drawn back from her face, a small knot in the back, with the rest hanging freely around her shoulders. She almost couldn’t look him in the eye. A crimson flush danced across her cheeks, and with barely a word, she closed the door behind them, following him to his truck.

The awkwardness wasn’t something that either of them expected. It was unspoken, like maybe this wasn’t right, but there was something drawing them together, like
an elephant in the room. They’d have to address it eventually.

Sitting in his truck, they started.

“Do you…”

“I was thinking…”

They both spoke at the same time, and then laughed. “Go on, you go first,” he said.

“Is this a mistake?”

“It doesn’t feel like one.”

Sitting beside her, looking into her eyes, Bryce was able to see just how crystal blue they we
re. Neither of them spoke. The gaze grew between them, neither able to look away.

Hannah could smell the essence of his cologne, a cinnamon and spice that made her want to lean in and inhale deeply.

“Hannah.” He could barely get her name out. It wedged in his throat. He wanted to kiss her, taste her sweet lips, and yet he hadn’t even taken her out. Forcing himself to be a gentleman, he pushed the thought back and looked away. “Let’s just see where the night takes us.”

“Okay
.” She could barely breathe. She wanted him, wanted to feel his hands on her body, and yet knew she shouldn’t be having these thoughts.

They went to a small café a town over to avoid the stares of curious neighbors that might see something forming. The last thing they needed was pressure from outside sources. They were both trying to come to terms with a growing attraction. While it was undeniable, it still felt
wrong somehow. They were ages apart, he was her father’s friend, and yet here they were, drawn together with a magnetic force.

The conversation started slowly, and as the small talk filled the night
, it was obvious neither knew how to address the concerns. Hannah finally spoke about the topic that was on both of their minds.

“Bryce
, I think you’re a great guy. I’m obviously attracted to you, but I just don’t know about this.”

“I know.” He bowed his head. “
I’m drawn to you, and yet a small voice is in the back of my head telling me to walk away before I get into trouble.”

“I want to…”
She trailed off, and then found her ground again. “I just don’t think I can.”

“I understand.” He was disappointed, but being neighbors, having been friends with her father, he knew this might be an issue. He wanted to understand, and a piece of him did. Another piece of him wanted to take her to bed and make love to the woman he was attracted to. He pushed the thought aside, only letting his gentleman speak. “Thank you for a lovely evening.”

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded. There wasn’t much more to say. After paying the bill, they drove back to her house. The ride back was silent, with only the
sound of the tires on the road and an old country song playing on the radio filling the void.

Pulling up to her house, Bryce went around and opened her door. Offering his hand, she smiled. She took it
, and looked at him. The look between them sizzled, the chemistry between them unspoken. “I should go,” she said, letting go and walking up to the house. “Maybe another time.” She smiled.

He tipped his hat
in farewell, and watched her disappear into her home, before climbing into his truck. Turning the key, his truck came back to life. He could still smell the undertones of Hannah’s perfume, just the tiniest tease remained.

He’d have to let go. It wasn’t going to happen.

It was mild and warm, a treat in May. The
Hawthorne girls were busy with life, each following a different path. Hannah threw herself into farm work, not wanting to admit her father’s friend was still on her mind. Allie was moving too fast with her new guy, and was already talking about moving into his apartment. Mom was less than thrilled. Maggie rarely gave anything away and just buried her nose in a book. Sarah was spiraling. At first it didn’t show, but her strong grades were starting to falter.

Gretta tried to talk some sense into Allie, but she wasn’t listening. She was in love
. She was certain Richard was “the one” she’d been waiting for all her life. Maggie reached out to Sarah trying to help her get back on track, but it was more than schoolwork. The youngest Hawthorne girl was still struggling with her father’s death as time wore on. Hannah’s work kept her busy, and for a while it did what she intended.

It wasn’t planned. She couldn’t have known. On a damp,
rainy day, unable to focus, she found herself pulling into Bryce Callahan’s driveway. He was in the barn working on a tractor. He didn’t hear her when she first came in.

“Hey,” she said, showing up by his side. She leaned against the tractor with not much to say.

Bryce was seated on a small stool, hunched and trying to see underneath. “Hey,” he smiled, standing up to greet his guest. “What brings you here?”

“I’m not sure.”

Bryce smiled. The silence was deafening. He reached out and took her hand, pulling her closer. She let him hold her, his arms wrapping around her. Resting his head against hers, the floral scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils. He would happily stand there for ages. No words were spoken. They simply held one another, knowing there was something happening between them.

He wanted to kiss her
. They’d move slowly, get used to the idea that they could be a couple.

Bryce
and Hannah stood, their bodies pressed together. Wrapped in his arms, Hannah felt secure and knew this was where she wanted to be. How could she explain this to her family, her friends? He was so much older. People were going to judge them. Was she being foolish? Was she simply a child with a crush?

Neither knew what to say. Hannah finally broke from the embrace and looked up at Bryce. It was as if nobody else existed in that moment. They were alone in the world
, and nothing else mattered. Everything moved in slow motion, and as Bryce leaned in closer, Hannah closed her eyes as he brushed his lips to hers. Parting her lips, she let him in.

Her heart was beating loudly in her chest, pounding so hard, beating so fast. Her head was swimming, drifting, dizzy, and as his warm mouth pulled away, he looked at her once again, finding nothing but acceptance. His lips returned
; this time his arms pulled her in closer, tighter, and a heated passion rose inside of him.

The loud crash pulled them from
their hypnotic trance. Running toward the sound of the collision, they found Beverly’s truck crushed up against the wooden gate that marked his property. She was already out of her car and cussing under her breath.

“Can you call Doc Wilkins?” He directed Hannah as he ran to his sister.

Hannah went inside and dialed the town doctor, letting him know what had happened. He said he’d be there shortly.

B
ack outside, Bev was now sitting in the driveway, her head in her hands.

“Doc Wilkins is on the way,” she called out.

Beverly was in no condition to be driving, that became obvious. Bryce sat by her side. “It could have been worse, or you could have hurt somebody. This has to stop.”

“I just misjudged,” she said, and then complained of a headache.

“The doctor’s on his way. Bev, please. It’s time to get help.”

She looked down, not wanting to hear her brother’s words.

Hannah stood awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. When the town doctor arrived to check Beverly over, they took her inside. The rain had settled to nothing more than a slight misting and spitting. Hannah went into the barn and got some chains. Tossing them over the back of a tractor, she started it up.

By the time Bryce
came back outside, Hannah was towing Beverly’s truck off to the side and out of the way. Watching her work, seeing her jump into action, he smiled. She was an amazing woman.

Hopping off the tractor, she saw Bryce. “I hope it’s okay,” shoving her hands in her jean pockets.

“More than okay. I appreciated the help.”

“How is she?”

“She’ll be okay.” He was more embarrassed that she was a drunken mess and Hannah had seen it. She wouldn’t want to get tangled up in a family with burdens and secrets. Beverly was a town drunk, a troublemaker, and Bryce’s responsibility half the time. It was growing old, but as much as he thought he could cut the ties, she was the only family he had left.

His parents had died years before in a tragic fire.
Beverly blamed herself, having pulled the battery out of the smoke detector. The battery was low and beeping non-stop one night while everyone was sleeping. She climbed on a chair and yanked the battery out. She forgot to replace it. Three days later, Bev and Bryce were at the fair that came through once a year. They were oblivious to the fire that broke out at their home, taking their mother and father with them. The barn remained, but most of the house was gone. Faulty wiring, the smoke took their parents before they could get out. They’d fallen asleep and were napping on the sofa, unaware that the house was burning around them.

Bryce was just over eighteen and took on the care of his younger sister. Insurance paid for the rebuild, and the two lived in a trailer on the lot until the new home was ready.
Beverly was never the same, and Bryce blocked out whatever feelings he could. Anytime he thought back to the night, the mix of guilt was too strong, wondering if he could have saved them if he was there. Beverly drowned her guilt in a bottle, while Bryce shut his feelings down completely.

Beverly looked at her brother as he came back to see her. Doc Wilkins gave her instructions for rest
, and hesitantly gave her a prescription for pain meds. There would be no refills, and it was only a week’s worth. He made that clear. He knew she had a problem with substance abuse. She was cleared of a concussion, but would be stiff and sore for the next few days.

She said nothing, seeing the disappointment in her brother’s eyes.

“When will it be enough, Bev?”

She looked down, embarrassed that yet again she was the thorn in his side. “I don’t know,” she finally mumbled.

“I can’t keep doing this.” Bryce sat beside her. “I can’t live my life for you. I can’t always save you.”

Beverly exhaled and rubbed her temples. “I’m not ready,” she whispered.

“When will you be? You’re going to end up killing yourself.”

“I deserve no less.”

“Then get it over with,” he yelled at his sister. “If you’re going to do it, just get it over with. Stop dragging me through the mud. Stop punishing me for trying to help you.”

The
hot tears fell silently. “I don’t deserve to live.”

“So you want to leave me alone in the world? You’re all I have left.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Bryce.”

“Bullshit. If you were sorry, you’d get help.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Bev? What are you saying?”

She choked back the words, and finally spit them out. “I’ll get help.”

“Oh my god,” he whispered, never thinking he’d hear those words from his sister’s mouth. “You’re not shitting me?”

She shook her head. Her anger at Doc Wilkins when he’d only give her a week’s worth of pills told her more than she needed to know. She wanted more, because maybe the high was better, maybe she’d be able to escape. It was taking more and more booze to give her the same feeling, and he had her number. He held back. He barely wanted to give her the seven. She was seething inside, not thankful that he’d come out to help her, but angry that he held back. She needed those pills, needed them…and she knew. She thought it would take longer, but seeing her brother and realizing she was all he had left, the words struck her hard. It was time to get better. It was time to heal. She was terrified of facing her feelings sober, but it was time.

Hannah drove back to her house, parking her old truck on the drive. She sat in place, her hands still on the wheel. She was lost in thought, replaying the moment in the barn over and over in her mind. She almost didn’t want to get out of her truck, afraid the moment would escape her. Finally climbing down, she headed inside.

His lips and mouth were so warm, and the way his arms held her… she wanted him to do it again.

Hannah
found her mother in the kitchen, peeling carrots and potatoes for tonight’s roast. “I’ll do that.” She took the peeler from her mom, and relieved her of the task. “How’s Sarah doing?”

“I’m worried about her. Her teacher called. She’s obviously going to pass the year, but she said the last few months, she just hasn’t been herself. Not only her grades, but she’s detaching from group activities as well. She suggested I bring her to a grief counselor.”

“What do you think?”

“It’s been a while. I thought time would help. At first I thought something at school was causing it, but she finally admitted she’s been feeling lost.”

“A counselor is good, Mom. We all work through grief at our own pace.”

“I guess. I can never tell how Maggie’s feeling, because she’s such a quiet girl. You were always so easy to read, you’ve always been vocal, boisterous, and independently strong. Allie
… I’m worried about her lately, too. She’s moving too fast with this Richard character. Did she tell you she’s thinking about moving in with him already? They only started dating.”

“We’ll get through it all. Allie’s an adult and can take care of herself. How are you doing, Mom?”

“I keep busy. Distraction gets me through the days, but I’m lonely,” she admitted. “I never thought I’d lose him so soon.”

“Yeah.”

Gretta got up from the table and rubbed her daughter’s back for a moment. “You’re a good person, and you deserve a life, too. He’s a good man.”

“Who?”

Gretta looked at Hannah and arched an eyebrow. “I think you know who.”

How did she know? Hannah smiled and peeled the rest of the vegetables.