Hannah Howell (14 page)

“Aye. She told me that she hadna asked me. She also reminded me that she had offered me no promises, either. That was when she spoke of buying a husband if she ever needed one. Tessa understands that I can offer her no future.”

“Mayhaps she does understand,” Nairn murmured.

“But is that how she wants it to be? Have ye ever asked her that, asked her if she can be happy with naught but a brief affair? I think not. Do ye wish to hear how I see it?”

“I dinna believe I do, but ye will tell me anyways—aye?”

“Aye. I believe she has agreed to your rules because she had no choice. The lass is in love with you. I would wager all I own upon it. She probably loved you when she first accepted you as her lover. Her choice was to have nothing or accept what little ye were offering. Mayhaps she even hoped to change your mind. What she couldna see was that those rules of yours are set in stone, that even if she touched your heart, ye would never change them. Mayhaps, Revan, ’tis past time ye told the girl. ’Tis only fair to let a person ken that they are in a game they can never hope to win.”

“I have never let her think those rules would change.”

“Nay?” Nairn shook his head. “Ye can be very blind at times, brother of mine. Well, go to her, then. I doubt it matters much now exactly
when
ye set her aside. ’Twill hurt her whether ye do it now or when ye leave her with her kinsmen.”

That stung and Revan reacted to it with anger, giving Nairn a mocking bow. “Thank ye. I will rest so much easier kenning that I have your kind permission.” He started toward the door.

“There is one last thing I would say, Revan.”

Revan yanked open the heavy door, then glared at Nairn. “There is some other crime ye neglected to lay at my feet?”

“Being an utter fool isna a crime, although I oftimes think it ought to be. Nay, I but mean to remind you that what ye so callously toss aside willna be left to rot. I have had the pleasure of her company for but a short time, yet I can say, with full confidence, that she will not be left to pine for you. ’Twill not be her good blood and purse alone that draws the courtiers to her, either. In fact, once ye cast her aside, I may well think on courting her myself. But then, that shouldna trouble ye overmuch. Ye will still have your pride, will ye not, Revan?”

With a soft curse Revan left. Nairn sighed and picked up his tankard. He took a long drink of wine and, when he had finished, found his sergeant-at-arms, Thorson, at his side.

“Ye have finally had a word with the lad about the lassie, havena ye?” Thorson helped himself to a tankard of wine.

“Aye. ’Twas like talking to these stone walls. I even tried to pinch at his jealousy by pointing out that she willna be left alone for long. I even said I might take to courting her myself.”

“And would ye?”

“Well, if I thought she had truly shaken the ghost of my brother, I just might. Aye, I just might. Howbeit, I still cling to the hope that my young brother isna quite the idiot he acts like.” Nairn exchanged a grin with the older man.

 

 

Tess slowly sat up in the bed when Revan strode into the room. She had almost buried her hurt. Her determination not to let it spoil what little time she had left with Revan had been the greatest help. The sadness lingered, weighting her heart, but she refused to give in to it. A flicker of hope remained as well, although she cursed herself for a fool for clinging to it. Nevertheless, a part of her refused to accept the end until Revan himself said a final fare-thee-well and walked away. She just prayed that she had the wit to stop hoping then.

She watched him as he washed up. He did not look to be in the best of tempers, and she wondered why. After she had worked so hard to control her own emotions so that she would not ruin what little time they had left together, she did not want him to ruin it with his moodiness. When he sat down on the edge of the bed to tug off his boots, she reached out to lightly stroke his arm. He briefly glanced her way, then continued to undress.

“Has something gone wrong?” she asked.

“Nay. I just had a quarrel with Nairn.” He managed a small smile for her as he shrugged off his doublet and began to undo his shirt. “Losing it has put me in an ill mood. I will shake it soon.”

Something in the tone of his voice told her that he was not being completely truthful. She did not press him, however. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her. At the moment his secretiveness about what had occurred after she had left the great hall was the least of her concerns.

When he finally slipped into bed and tugged her into his arms, she discovered that her emotions were not as controlled as she had thought. For a moment they overwhelmed her, tearing her apart. She clung to Revan as if she could hold him at her side by force alone. Now that she knew he meant to leave her behind at Donnbraigh, her kinsmen’s keep, she saw each moment in terms of his walking away. It would be a slow bloodletting, hour by hour, until he finally left her. She was no longer sure she would be able to pretend that it was not torturing her. It could require far more strength than she could ever muster.

“Tess?” He sensed the desperation in the way she held him. “Ye do ken that ’twill be safer for ye to stay at Donnbraigh than to be dragged into the battle between the Douglases and King James, dinna ye? Ye do understand?”

“Aye. I understand.”

The way she said those three words made Revan think she was not really referring to the need to keep her safe. “I have been in more battles than I care to recall, and ye must believe me when I tell ye that ye will be far better off set at a goodly distance from it all.”

She wondered why he was trying so hard to make her accept that her safety was the only reason he would leave her behind. He undoubtedly
did
have an honest concern for her well-being. However, no matter what he convinced her of now, the truth would be painfully clear when he did not return for her after the battle. He had to know that she would not be fooled for long. It irritated her a little that he did not simply tell her the blunt, cold truth, even though she did not really wish to hear it.

“I have heard enough tales about battles to ken that, Revan. I havena argued your decision much, have I?”

“Nay, but I sense your disappointment.”

“Aye. I am disappointed.” It was a paltry word to describe all she was feeling.

He cupped her chin in his hand and turned her face up toward his. The dim light from a branch of candles next to the bed made it difficult to read her expression. Despite that, he felt her hurt. He tried to dispel his guilt by reminding himself that he had given her no promises, had told her at the start that he was not a man for marriage. It did not help much. He knew she would not blame him, but he blamed himself. The situation had slipped beyond his control. He was no longer sure he had had any control to begin with. If it was fate at work, then fate was exceedingly cruel. It had thrust into his arms the one woman he could not accept no matter how much he might want to.

“But ye will be safe.”

“Aye. I ken it.” Safe, she thought. Aye, safe; but wretchedly alone.

Tess slid her hand up from his back to behind his head. She pressed his mouth against hers. From the first touch of his lips upon hers, her passion began to stir to life. She let it flow freely through her. It would overwhelm all the rest of her emotions, push them aside, if only for a little while.

For a moment she wondered if it was wise or right to continue to be his lover. He intended to leave her behind. That tainted what they shared. It was no longer lovemaking, but Revan using her to sate his lusts until he set her aside. Many might consider her the greatest of fools for still letting him share her bed after he had made his plans for her so clear.

Even as he deepened the kiss and her desire rose, she had the sudden urge to violently reject his loving. Her pride was rebelling, and she knew it. It was her pride making her think such things. She held Revan tighter, fully returning his kiss, and refused to let her pride win. For a few days, for whatever meager time was left to her, she would swallow her pride. It could chastise her later, after she was alone. For now she would take whatever Revan had to offer, no matter how fleeting. Once she was returned to her father’s family, she would have many a long, cold night to soothe her stung pride.

Revan made love to her tenderly, slowly, yet with a hint of the desperation she felt. He covered her with kisses from her forehead to her toes. Even as she slipped into the mindless realm of her all-consuming passion, Tess marveled at how he could make love to her in such a way yet set her aside. Instinct told her there was far more behind his caresses, his kisses, than passion, but he meant to turn his back on it all. As she succumbed to her desires, she felt an urge to weep.

Nairn cursed and swatted at the hand shaking him. It did not stop, simply gripped his naked shoulder harder and shook him more vigorously. He sat up on his bed, one fist raised to clout the intruder, only to pause and frown when he recognized Thorson. The man looked very concerned, and Nairn felt himself wake up even more.

“We have trouble, lad,” the graying soldier said and held out Nairn’s braies.

“The Douglases?” Nairn quickly stood up and put on his braies.

“ ’Tisna an attack, but—ye ken those three corbies who have squatted on the border for nearly a fortnight?” He leaned against the bedpost as Nairn tugged on his hose and shirt.

“Aye? What of them?”

“Well, there are more of the devils now. Twenty at my count. They dinna all wear the Douglas colors, either.”

“Some of Thurkettle’s dogs, no doubt. They have somehow discovered that Revan and Tess are here. But how?”

“One of them must have seen his horse. ’Tis all I can figure. They couldna have seen either the lad or the lass over the walls, and I feel certain we have no spy within the keep. Nay, they had to have espied his horse.”

Not waiting to finish dressing except to yank on his boots, Nairn strode out of the bedchamber he had been using while Revan and Tess shared his. Their last night with him was going to come to an abrupt end. Thorson at his heels, Nairn marched into their chambers, over to the bed, and paused to stare at the couple sleeping there.

The pinch of jealousy was sharp but brief as Nairn studied Revan and Tess. She was curled up in Revan’s arms, her lovely hair splayed out over his chest. Revan held her close even in his sleep, his cheek against the top of her head.

“Have ye ever noticed, Thorson,” Nairn drawled, “how the greatest of fools can often find the sweetest havens?”

Thorson smiled faintly when Nairn glanced at him. “Mayhaps he will prove himself less the fool than he portrays now.”

“I pray ye are right, old friend. ’Twould be sad, indeed, to watch one’s own brother fatally cut himself upon the point of his own pride.” He grasped Revan by the shoulder and shook him. “Wake up, idiot.”

Revan blinked, then glared sleepily at his brother. “What do ye want?”

“The number of the carrion roosting on my border has grown—to nearly twenty.”

“We have been discovered.”

“ ’Twould appear so. Thorson is certain they espied your horse despite all of our care to hide it. They arena all Douglas men, either. We could make a stand.”

“Nay. In the end I must still leave, and there will be more of the dogs sent out or waiting for us at Donnbraigh. Naught would really be gained by fighting this lot, and it would pull you even deeper into our troubles. ’Tis best if Tess and I try to slip away unseen. We have become quite skilled at it.”

“Then we will get your horses ready and pack a few supplies for you.”

The minute Nairn and Thorson were gone, Revan shook Tess awake. He felt guilty when he saw how tired she was, for he had woken her up several times during the night. Time and again he had sought to banish the sadness he could sense in her with his lovemaking. Greediness had also prompted him, a greediness born of the knowledge that soon he would no longer be able to reach out in the dark and find her there.

Tess stumbled out of bed and over to the washbowl. Splashing the cold water on her face helped her wake up enough to get dressed. As she tugged on her cleaned and mended lad’s clothing, she glanced longingly at the gowns Nairn had borrowed for her use. There had been a sense of normalcy in wearing them. For a little while she had been able to forget the danger and intrigue she was trapped in.

“ ’Tis still dark,” she mumbled as she laced up her doublet.

“I fear we have been discovered, dearling.” He yanked on his boots, then began to stuff their belongings into his saddle packs. “There are now twenty men or more squatting on that border and staring at Nairn’s keep. We are going to try and slip away while the dark can still hide us. In truth, they probably expect us to try and leave at first light and will be waiting for us then.”

“Do ye think they might try and attack Nairn?”

“If they were certain we were here, and Nairn willna give us up—aye, they might do so. But we will be gone, so I believe Nairn will be safe. If we leave without being seen, they canna even accuse him of aiding us. Leastwise, not with any certainty. ’Tis my belief that they willna waste time or men here if they are certain we arena within these walls. Our leaving will be Nairn’s best defense. Are ye ready?”

“Give me but a moment or two of privacy, and I will be.”

He kissed her cheek and started out of the door, taking their saddle packs with him. “I will meet you in the stables.”

Revan made his cautious way through the dark keep. Only a few watchfires burned outside, and he was careful to remain in the shadows as he hurried to the stables. He found the horses already saddled and Thorson and Nairn waiting for him.

“Where is Tess?” asked Nairn as Revan put his saddle packs on his mount.

“She will be along in a moment.” He briefly rested his hand on the packs flung over the mare’s back. “Supplies?”

“Aye, enough to last ye until ye reach Donnbraigh and beyond, if the need arises. Are ye sure the lass will stay to the shadows? They could catch sight of her if she doesna move cautiously.”

“She will be careful. Only once did she give us away, and that was unavoidable. I am more concerned about getting these beasts out of here without being seen. I have never seen Tess ride, so I would prefer not risking a chase just yet.”

“The moon has set. That will work to your advantage. We will open the barnkin gates only enough to let ye lead the animals out. I think that ’tis best if ye lead the horses until ye are within the wood to the north of us. If those hounds catch your scent too soon, we will do what we can to slow them down and gain you some lead.”

“I would rather you didna get caught up in this at all.”

“So would I.” Nairn smiled briefly. “But, I was caught in the midst of it all the moment I made my allegiance to James clear. I am but too small for the Douglas to trouble himself with at the moment.”

“Let us pray that it remains so. Ah, Tessa,” Revan murmured as she slipped into the stables. Once she reached his side, he related the plan for sneaking away from the keep.

“I begin to feel like a thief,” she drawled as she took up the mare’s reins. “Ye must be well accustomed to this sort of thing, though,” she added, looking at Revan.

“Why would ye think that I would be accustomed to such subterfuge?” Revan frowned, mistrusting her faint smile.

“Well, I always saw the courtiers who tiptoed to and from the regal Brenda’s scented bedchambers. And though ye sighed and dribbled about her for so long, I never saw you. So ye must be well trained in it.”

Revan took a moment to glare at Nairn and Thorson, who were badly muffling their laughter, then scowled at Tess. “I didna sigh and dribble, and I didna tiptoe about, either. Why mention Brenda now? Ye havena spoken of the cursed woman for days.”

“How remiss of me.”

“Tessa, God alone kens why ye should speak of this now. Did ye forget about the twenty or so men looking for us?”

“Not at all. I was but waiting for you to lead us on.”

“Are ye always so irritating in the morning?”

“ ’Tisna morning yet.”

“I dinna ken how ye can feel so pert when there are a score of men prepared to murder us at first sight.” Revan began to lead his horse out of the stables.

Tess quickly moved to follow him. “I begin to think that having a sword constantly at one’s throat, having death nipping at one’s heels day after day after day, can put one into a very odd humor.”

“Aye,” murmured Nairn. “I can understand that.”

“Dinna encourage the lass,” said Revan, his voice barely above a whisper as he took his first step out of the stables.

They wound their way toward the gates by staying close to the walls. The shadows were the deepest there. Tess kept as close to Revan as she dared, knowing he would speak softly if he spoke at all, and she was afraid she might miss some important command. Fear twisted her insides. She knew that prompted her irreverence. Such nonsense or sarcasm had always been her way of hiding her fears and, at times, easing it. She was also simply tired of it all, weary of constantly running or hiding. Tess hoped that weariness continued to put her into an odd humor. It was preferable to resignation or a dangerous loss of caution.

As they neared the gates, Nairn and Thorson slipped ahead of her and Revan to open them. Tess waited in the shadows behind Revan. She could almost look forward to reaching her father’s kinsmen despite the fact that she would then lose Revan. Wrapped within the boisterous protection of the Comyns and Delgados, she would no longer suffer the constant fear she did now, would no longer have to keep running until she sometimes thought she would never rest again.

“Ye can come ahead now.” Nairn’s voice was a soft interruption in the predawn silence.

Revan moved ahead, pausing only to briefly clasp Nairn’s and Thorson’s hands and exchange hurried wishes for good luck. He then edged out of the narrowly opened gates. Tess crept after him and stopped in front of Nairn.

“I thank ye for your hospitality and the clothes. Please tell the woman who so kindly allowed me the use of them that I was most grateful.” To her utter surprise Nairn kissed her full on the mouth.

“Take care of yourself, Tessa, and of my foolish brother.”

Before she could make any reply, she heard Revan sharply whisper her name. She quickly smiled a farewell to Nairn and his sergeant-of-arms before leading her horse through the partly opened gates. Barely three steps outside of them she bumped into Revan on his way back.

“What was the delay?” he asked even as he turned and strode back to his patiently waiting horse.

“I wished to say thank ye and fare-thee-well to your brother.”

“Ye must have been fulsome in expressing your gratitude for it to have taken so long.” He took up his mount’s reins and started on his way.

Tess quickly fell into step behind Revan as he started leading his horse toward the distant trees. “I suspect ’twas not the talking but the kissing that took up all the time.” She was not sure, because the deep shadows they huddled in obscured her sight a little, but it looked as if Revan stumbled slightly.

“Nairn kissed you?”

“Aye.”

“I see. Well, a brief peck upon the cheek shouldna have taken so long, either.”

“Very true, but this was no light touch upon my cheek. Nairn kissed me full upon the mouth.”

This time Revan stopped and stood very still for a moment. She waited for more, but he neither spoke nor acted. When he started walking again, she inwardly sighed and followed. She should have waited to tell him about the kiss until she could have seen him clearly, could have read his reaction in his expression. Without words and without seeing him as any more than one shadow amongst many, she could only guess at how he felt. That did her no good at all. In truth, she wondered why she even troubled herself. He intended to leave her behind.

And yet, she mused as she kept pace with him, she did want something, some hint of emotion. She decided that she was searching for some sign that she was more to him than a partner in danger and a warm bed partner. It might prove some comfort after he had left her behind. And that, Contessa Comyn Delgado, she told herself, was the very height of foolishness.

Revan halted, drawing her out of her introspection. They were far enough within the trees to be hidden by them. He walked toward her, halted in front of her, and stared at her. Just as she was about to ask him what was the matter, he pulled her into his arms and heartily kissed her. The moment he ended the kiss, he hoisted her up onto the mare’s back. Tess sat, dazed, and watched him return to his own horse, mount it, and nudge it into motion.

“And men have the gall to complain about a woman’s odd humors,” she grumbled as she urged the mare to follow him.

“Did ye say something?”

“Nothing of any importance.” She noticed with some relief that the mare needed little direction or urging to follow Revan’s horse carefully as well as closely.

“ ’Tis best if we keep as silent as possible. Those fools hunting us could have had the wit to set spies within these woods. Aye, and at every other route leading away from Nairn’s. We shall move slowly until dawn breaks and we have the light to see our path more clearly. Then we shall ride faster and harder. We must put some distance between us and those carrion.”

“Ye think they will soon follow us?” She could not resist a quick but fruitless look behind her.

“Aye, I believe so. Once there is no sign of us leaving come the dawn, they will probably approach Nairn to demand that he hand us over to them. As soon as they are sure we arena there, they will be hunting us again.”

“Are ye sure they willna harm your brother?”

“Aye, as certain as one can be. Nairn can be clever with words. And he will give them no cause to strike at him. He would dearly like to stand against them, but he has the wit to ken that now is not the time for foolish lance-tilting. That we draw so near to the king also works in Nairn’s favor. Those hounds willna wish to waste any time in setting out after us. Aye, they may well promise retribution when they find us gone, but they willna pause to deliver it now.”

Tess nodded, even though she knew he could not see her, and hoped that he was right. Thus far they had been hounded, deprived of comfort, and given little chance to rest, but no one had yet lost his life or even been badly injured. She took one last look behind her and prayed that that good fortune would continue to follow them.

 

 

Nairn watched Tess and Revan walk away until they faded into the shadows. With a sigh he started to close the gates. Thorson moved to his side to help him.