Handsome Devil (18 page)

I sniff, refusing to cry. I just survived a shootout and talked people out of killing my loved ones. I'm not going to fall apart now. Not over a guy. Even if he is M'anu.

I still have to half run to keep up with him, but there's nothing but the sound of our footsteps echoing off the ship's interior for a few minutes. We reach the portal of the docking hall easily. M'anu stops at the control pad and spends a couple of seconds tapping away, his face closed up tighter than a pickle jar. His shoulders are tense, and I get the feeling he would love nothing more than to rip that pad out of the wall and be damned with it.

I wait behind him silently, not bothering to ask what he's doing. He's probably checking to make sure there's no one else on board. Which I already did. Great, now he thinks I'm incompetent. Another stab in my aching heart. Jerk.

His voice is hard enough to cut glass. “Where is Bethina?”

I glare at his profile. “Away. She'll be back in a few hours.” My hands flex at my sides. “We should get started on ejecting the bodies.”

Wait. No. Fuck that. I'm going to say what's on my mind. “What part are you mad about, M'anu? The fight from before, the fact that I hit you—which I'm sorry for, by the way—or that I didn't get you out of the cell?”

He stills. Absolutely.

He doesn't want to talk? He'll listen. “I didn't mean to actually knock you out. I thought you were going to shoot Betty.”

“
My instincts are better than that,” he grinds out, still looking at the wall. Finally. Words.

“
Now you know how I felt when you pushed me out of the way.”

“
That is not the same.” He turns. Did he grow fifteen feet in the last two seconds, or have I never really seen how tall he is? His scowl is ferocious.

My chin goes up. “Isn't it? We both underestimated each other and ended up getting beat up for it.”

His chest rises and falls. He looks almost savage. “You were protecting your sister. I was protecting you.”

Oh. Damn. Now I'm in trouble.

He steps forward. I won't lie—my heart skips a beat, and I'm not sure it's from lust. He's an intimidating sight. And his voice. It's feral and enraged and edged with something that has no name.  “I should have been protecting you now, Agmoiria. It was my
right
to care for my female, and the female of my brother.
You took that from me
.”
 

By now I was backed up against the wall, one of his hands flat on the surface beside my head. My whole world is now M'anu. I look up, transfixed by what I see in his beautiful eyes.

Fear.

Or the shadow of it. The worst of it is gone, but it was riding him so hard that it's still making him a little crazy. He wants to lash out. I'll bet he's fighting every instinct he has to go after that other ship and stomp them into the ground one by one. He's bristling with aggression.

He bares his teeth.

Well, that's enough of that. “Back off.”

He pauses, cocking his head.

“
You heard me. Back off.” I poke him in the chest and nearly break a finger for my trouble. “Do you think you're the only one that gets to do the protecting around here? Let me tell you something, M'anu, that doesn't fly with me.”

I step forward. He steps back, and I know it's the only concession he's going to make for me. That, and not growling. He's watching me like predator with prey. It's not that unlike when we first met. I'm no more likely to back down now than I was then, and this time I have even more reason to stand my ground. “First of all, I'm a big girl. I've got skills, just like you. If you think I'm going to step aside so you have the chance to flex your muscles when I can just neutralize the threat myself, you're nuts. Second of all, I didn't take anything from you. There was no way I could have known we'd be boarded again. I mean, what are the freakin' odds? Third of all, I was lying when I said I had voice access. I don't. That was a—”

“
You lied
?”
 

Holy cow, am I going to regain hearing after that?

He sticks his face in mine. “You deliberately placed yourself in danger and the only advantage you had was a lie?”

“
To save your ass? Hell, yes, I did!” I howl in frustration. “For god's sake, M'anu, what was all that crap about fierce females? Either you want a girl who is strong enough to handle herself or you don't. Pick one and stick with it!”

The next thing I know I've been snatched up by the waist and hoisted until we are eye to eye. “You could have died.” He gives me the smallest of shakes. “Do you understand, female? You could be dead.”

Can a person sound that ragged and tortured and still live? Hard to believe. My anger at being manhandled melts—but don't think we aren't going to add it to the 'no-no' list, by god—leaving me drained and strangely deflated. “Oh, M'anu.”

He glares at me as if this was all my fault, and then he crushes me to him. He wraps his arms around me and just about squeezes the life out of my body, he's holding me that hard. He buries his face in my hair like he can't stand himself right now.

That's when I feel him shaking.

I'll be damned. M'anu wasn't afraid. He was terrified. I tentatively loop my arms around his neck, feet still dangling, and nuzzle his throat. “It's okay. I'm okay.” I stroke the short hairs on the back of his head.

This very big, very lethal Ferissian is a shaking pile of putty in my hands. I don't think anyone has ever seen him like this before. He isn't the kind of guy who lets it go in front of just anyone. He still has a long way to go before we're up to snuff in the communication arena, but right now he's making me understand how important I am to him. I knew he valued me—he'd listed all my good qualities and decided they were alright by him, after all. And when we had sex, that was sparks and fireworks and a connection between two people you just can't fake.

This is different. This is as real as it gets.

It's enough to make my eyes wet. Not going to cry, though. It's not that kind of moment. I press a kiss to his ear, then his temple, then back. “Look at me.”

He doesn't. He just keeps his head on my shoulder, breathing in. I feel the edges of his teeth against my skin, close enough that the sharp prick makes me inhale quickly.

“
Why would I bite you, female?”

“
That's what they're there for, right? Biting?”

Is there more to it than I originally thought? “M'anu?”

He draws back, kissing the spot tenderly. “You are very vexing, Agmoiria.”

My lips quirk. “Well, at least you have your sense of understatement back.”

He hums.

“
M'anu,” I say seriously, “about the mate thing...” I press my forehead to his temple. “We can work this out, right?” I desperately want  him to say yes. I don't know how or what we'll have to do to keep us together, but I'm willing to try. I just need him to be too.

I don't want promises and poetry. I want real, solid effort, because he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him, even if it's not specifically on his terms. It doesn't matter that I've realized I love him; my initial caution still stands. I want to do this right, whatever right may be. He has to be willing to meet me in the middle.

He finally lifts his head, all traces of fear gone. “You are my female,” he says in his deep, firm voice. “I will make you happy.” He pulls a face. “However I must.”

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to gauge his sincerity. It's a wasted effort, of course. M'anu's always sincere.

He arches a very black eyebrow knowingly.

Hmm. “Alright. It's a deal.” I don't know why I say that. It just seems like a good way to end that conversation.

A slow smile graces his lips, and his gaze falls on my mouth. And then he kisses me, that dear-god-you-melt-me kiss that has the power to make me breathless.

You know, I like M'anu's way of ending a conversation better.

xxxxx

 
I am torn between two imperatives—fucking my female and removing the bodies she left in her wake.

I heard the battle. It was clear above the hum of the ship. I can see the blood dripping through the grate behind her here, the shadows of the deceased covering my stairs. Now that the danger is over, and the paralyzing emotion has released its hold on my being, pride in her skill rises to the fore. When I (reluctantly) draw back from the kiss, I feel impelled to compliment her. “You are very efficient, Agmoiria.”

She twists in my arms to glance behind her, then back. “Betty helped. A lot.”

I hum, supporting her weight with one of my arms. “But you shot someone's toe?”

“
That was lucky,” she admits with a purse of her lips.

Ferissians do not seek death for death's sake. We are fighters, not murderers—unless it is defense of a loved one. My loved one, however, has the skill to defend herself. It is simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.

That arouses me.

She feels the swelling of my cock against her thighs, glancing down in surprise. “Really?”

I smile at her lazily. “You are a worthy mate.”

The Agmoiria opens her mouth, then abruptly shuts it again and sighs. “Whatever, you weirdo.” She pecks me on the lips to smooth the insult. “Let's get this place cleaned up. Then shower. Then we'll talk about sexy times.”

I set her down with great regret. Her hands abruptly tangle in my shirt. “I take that back,” she says. “I'm going to work on your system first. Then clean up and all the other stuff in that order. If we get boarded one more time I am going to scream.”

I nod. I, too, am irritated by the ease with which we have been overtaken. I think briefly of assuring her that this has never happened to me before, if for no reason other than my pride, but she is already off. She dashes gracefully up the stairs, then delicately picks her way through the bodies. A squeal drifts down to me. “Oh, gross!”

She sounds disgusted.

Strange little half-human. I wait a moment, making certain she is well and truly out of earshot. When I know she can no longer see nor hear me, I turn my attention to the cage furthest to my right. “How long do you plan to pretend I do not know you are there?”

Bethina's blond hair appears from behind the contraption. “Thank god,” she mutters. “For a second I thought I was going to see a very naked side of my sister I never wanted to see.” She comes to stand before me. “How'd you know?”

I blink at her. She saw me do the scan. She should make the connection.

“
I have to say, I know what Jules sees in you. That voice is to die for.” Her eyes unabashedly study every inch of my person. “I prefer my men a little rougher around the edges, but I'd do you in a heartbeat.”

I smirk. “I am certain Feruz will have a problem with that.” And I have every intention of telling him this little tidbit. I cannot wait to see his face.

“
Ooh and a sense of humor too.” She crosses her arms. “Let's not talk about sour old Feruz. Let's talk about you. And my sister, who is very in love with you though she'll never admit it, and your bastard ass probably doesn't care.”

My smirk falls away. “That is not true.”

“
Oh?” She cocks her head. “Which part? The bit where she's in love with you or the bit where you don't care?”

“
I care.” Of course I care.

“
Then you don't believe she loves you.”

“
I do not believe that she would
tell
you.”
 

She shrugs. “Now there you've got me. Listen, I'm going to make this quick. I'm here to tell you what you did wrong.”

My eyes narrow. “You should not interfere.”

“
Don't have to tell me twice. I'm no fucking love guru. However, I happen to have experience in this area, so I'm going to impart some wisdom that may get you out of this little jam, Fluffy.”

Fluffy?

“
You don't like my nickname? Well, I don't like my babycakes having hurt feelings, so tough shit. Let me deal it to you straight. You may know in your heart of hearts that she's the one, but she needs time. Not everybody copes at the same speed with these things. Listen to her. Realize that if you do, that makes her feel safe and appreciated. Make her feel safe, she'll trust you not to break her heart. All of this equals love, sex, and babies if you so wish. Got that, Fluffy?”

I have already resolved to compromise as best as I can because it will make her happy. I am, however, still confused as to
why.
“If that is the end result, why must I wait?”
 

She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Oh, my god. How can this not be any clearer for you? Yes, it comes to the same end.” Her voice gets louder, slower, as if she is speaking to a
deaf child. “
But you have to let her think it was her idea
. Think of it as a five step plan. You know how it's going to end, but it's one step at a time. Believe me, if you follow the plan, you will get exactly what you want a lot quicker than if you try to do it your way and force the issue.” She narrows her eyes. “Any of this sinking in?”
 

I consider. In a very strange, protracted manner, Bethina is making sense. “I must give a nod to her independence,” I say slowly. It is a concept I am familiar with. Ferissians enjoy their autonomy. It is comforting to know that my female shares this value.

“
Exactly! Kind of like taming a wild animal. You have to feed it, love it, care for it, and it won't bite you. Everybody is happy. Plus, you get this added bonus of extending the chase. You Ferissians love that.”

The thought
is
appealing. Part of the thrill is the anticipation in waiting. I am gaining new respect for this female of Feruz's. She is, one might say, translating my female's thoughts to me. I am grateful for the help at this early stage of our partnership. I hope that, in time,  I will be able to understand these things myself. I pin her with my gaze. “You are sure she loves me.”