Handle With Care (6 page)

S
hane had upset Lauren, and that hadn’t been his intention at all. He preferred flirting with her instead, and watching the heat creep up her cheeks. With that in mind, he cleared his throat and darted a quick look around the room. “Look, we got off the subject. I was going to suggest feeding the gossips. They’re going to talk anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Pretend. Let them think we’re having an affair.” He winked at her. “At least it’ll get them off your back.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I can think of an easier way. I’ll just tell them to mind their own business.”

“No, it’s better this way.” Plus, he figured it would be a lot more fun. “Like this.” He slipped an arm around her waist before she had time to react. “You smell good.” He sniffed behind her ear. “Like disinfectant.”

She snorted and pushed him away. “Now you’ve gone and done it.”

He gave her a sexy grin. “Not yet, I haven’t.”

“Shane, stop that.” She tried not to smile, but he could see the laughter behind her amazing blue eyes. “Behave yourself. I don’t want people to think .…”

“What?” he asked with just the right amount of innocence.

“That we’re flirting.” She glanced around to see if anyone were watching. They were.

“We’re not. Only pretending.” He winked. “Look, why don’t I take Josh to a movie on Saturday afternoon, and then we’ll grab a pizza for dinner. I’ll have him back by seven.”

“Only if you let me tutor you when I put him to bed,” she said in a low voice.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Instead of pizza, I could cook dinner for the three of us.”

“No need to do that.” He was surprised by the suggestion, and touched. But he played it cool. “I think Josh needs some one-on-one time with me,” he added.

“You’re probably right. That’s a much better idea.” She gave him a warm smile. “He’d love it.”

Lauren tried not to worry when Shane picked up Josh for a movie and dinner, but she remembered the first fiasco all too clearly. What if Josh acted up or was simply too much for Shane to handle? Shane seemed very evenly tempered and relaxed, but a hyper little boy who didn’t even belong to him might be more than he’d bargained for. And if Shane didn’t want to see her son again, Josh would be so bitterly disappointed. She hoped with all her heart that she hadn’t set her son up for more hurt.

The hours of worry were quickly erased when a happy, grinning Josh burst through the door.

“Mom, it was the best. You should have been with us.” He fidgeted from foot to foot, unable to stand still. “The movie was great. Do you want to see it? We could all go again.”

Lauren kissed the top of his head and smiled at Shane. “No, I think once was enough for Shane, but I’m glad you had a great time.”

“It was sad and scary, but it had a good ending, didn’t it, Shane?”

“Yup. Your mom missed out.” He gave her a lazy once-over that warmed her blood. She didn’t know if he worked at it or it just came naturally, but he had a sexy way about him.

“Did Josh behave himself?” she asked. “You two didn’t get into any fights, did you?”

He laughed. “No. We were very well behaved, weren’t we, Josh?”

“You bet.” Josh grinned his endearing gap-toothed smile. “Except I knocked over my soda. But Shane cleaned it up for me, and the waitress brought me a new one. She kept hanging around, asking Shane if he’d like anything else.”

“Oh, she did, did she?” Lauren pursed her lips and gave Shane a teasing look. “That must have been very annoying. How pretty was she?”

Josh answered. “Not as pretty as you, Mom.”

“Thanks, hon, but I think you might be biased.”

“What’s biased?” He tilted his head, wagging it back and forth.

“You have a reason to like me.” She dropped a hand over his shoulder.

“Yeah, because you’re my mom. And you’re the best.”

She squeezed him tight. “I love you, too.”

Shane patted Josh on the back. “It was fun, kiddo. How about next Saturday? Want to go to the Aquarium?”

“Wow! Can I, Mom? Can I?”

“Sure. I don’t see why not.” She smiled at Shane. “Why don’t you get settled at the kitchen table, and once I get this little monster to bed, we can go over anything you want.”

When she returned, she glanced at the books lined up on the table. He’d brought biochemistry, physics, and anatomy. Taking a seat next to him, she picked up a textbook and leafed through it. “You need all three for your degree?”

“To get into a med school, yes.”

“How do you find time for studying, work, and puppy training?”

“I do three eight-hour shifts.” He shrugged, like it was no big deal. “It’s manageable. Barely.”

“You could do every second week with Josh, if that works better for you.” She flipped through the books, glad her days of studying were long behind her.

“No, let’s start out weekly and see how it goes.” His eyes grazed her face. “I get most of my assignments done late at night. I don’t sleep much.”

“I guess not.” She shook her head, wondering what personal demons drove him to work this hard. “This schedule would kill most people. How long do you expect to keep it up?”

“As long as it takes.”

She studied him for a moment, taking in his firm jaw, the intensity in his eyes, his strong, capable-looking shoulders. “Well, you seem disciplined and highly motivated, so I’m sure you’ll manage somehow.”

They got down to work, and Lauren answered all his questions, which ended up being a refresher for her as much as for him.

At half past ten she tried to stifle a yawn, but Shane caught her in the act. “Sorry,” she said quickly. “How about I make us some coffee? That’ll help me stay awake.”

“No.” He gave her a shy smile. Sometimes he seemed so cocky, and at other times so endearing.

“I didn’t realize it was so late.” He slid his eyes away from her and packed up his books. “I’m the one who should apologize. I got so wrapped up in what we were doing, I didn’t notice the time.”

“Me too.” She couldn’t believe it, but it was true. Perhaps it was simply adult conversation or being around an attractive male. There’d been too little time for either lately. “I enjoyed it.”

“Thanks. You were a great help.” He gave her another sweet smile as they walked to the door. “I think I might be getting the better end of the deal in this relationship. I get to spend time with Josh, who’s a really cool kid, and have the added benefit of your brilliant mind.”

Their eyes met and something happened inside of her. She felt weak, empty, and overwhelmed as loneliness swept over her in a long crushing wave. Strange that she hadn’t felt it for so long, and now, tonight, after spending a few hours in Shane’s company, she didn’t want to be alone. In bed or in life. It was all too much sometimes. She was still young, only thirty-five, and she needed—no, not needed, but
wanted
—a man to hold her and kiss her goodnight. For all her protests, she knew it to be true.

She swallowed hard, feeling extremely vulnerable. She wanted to know more about him, to delve into the mystery of this fascinating man, but held herself back, not wanting to appear needy. After all, he was here because of her son, and to be tutored, not because he had a hard-on for her. She needed to remember that and not rock the boat.

“No need to flatter me. I want to help.” Taking his hand, she added, “Thanks for taking Josh today.” His hand felt warm and she knew she should let go, but the personal contact felt so good that she held on a little longer than necessary. Her pulse raced and she felt flushed. “It means so much to him. And to me.” She stood on tiptoe and gave him a peck on the cheek. Just a small peck, not one that would frighten him off. “Good night, Shane. Happy dreams.”

L
auren’s morning got off to a quick start. She’d just dealt with a three-car accident that had brought in four trauma patients—a mother, her two kids, and an elderly man who’d stroked and was pronounced dead on arrival. They patched up the children, but the mother’s heart stopped as Lauren and the nurses worked on her. She died on the table.

Losing a patient was never pleasant, but after working the emergency room for the past three years, Lauren was practically numb to it. The children were another story. Any death involving children hit too close to home.

Now, two little children would awaken from this ordeal to find their mother gone. The father had been called, but he was on a business trip. The earliest he could get there was late that evening. She asked the nurses to let her know the minute he arrived.

For half an hour the ER was quiet; then Shane radioed in to say he had a four-year-old boy found at the bottom of a pool.

Her stomach clenched as she waited for the child, a boy younger than Josh, and she was filled with fear that he might not make it. But she couldn’t think like that. Shane would keep him alive until he brought him in, and then she’d do the rest.

The moment Shane and Rick entered the ER, Lauren rushed toward the stretcher.

Shane cried out, “The kid needs an airway and a respirator, stat.” As he spoke, he continued to compress the AMBU bag to ventilate his lungs.

“We’re all set.” She glanced at the boy’s pale face as she guided the gurney into the room with the respirator and the lab. “You intubated him?”

The two men slid the boy onto the hospital bed and then stepped aside as Lauren’s team gathered around the bed and the equipment.

He nodded. “Couldn’t wait. He wouldn’t have made it.”

“Good job, Dawson.” Lauren didn’t glance up as she assessed the young boy. His breathing was faint, and gently she started chest compressions, listening to his breathing.

“Where are the parents?” she asked.

“They’re here,” Shane said. “Mother came with us, father followed in his car.”

“Good. We’ll get the little guy stabilized, and then I’ll have a word.”

She gave him an approving nod, and then her team came forward to work on the boy.

Later, during a break, she marveled at how effectively Shane had successfully intubated the boy in the field. He was always cool under pressure and had surprising dexterity with the use of his prosthetic hand. She knew him well enough now to see that he was skilled and dedicated, and took his medical studies seriously. Whatever specialty he chose, they’d be lucky to have him.

Lauren reflected on her own choices and what had prompted her to work in the ER. After Jeremy’s death, she’d done a complete turnaround. She’d planned to work pediatrics, but while mourning, she couldn’t bear the idea of being surrounded by happy families celebrating a new cherished life, when for her it was doubtful that she’d ever conceive again. Emergency medicine seemed a more logical choice. After all, her husband had not been saved after a collision with a drunk driver, but perhaps she could spare other families the same pain.

The following Saturday Shane spent a day with Josh. He took him to the Aquarium of the Pacific, and when he brought him home, the boy bounced into the house, excited to tell his mother everything about his day.

“We saw sharks and sea lions, dolphins, a million zillion fishes, and everything.” His cheeks were a bright pink, and his blue eyes glowed. “It was so cool. You should have been there.”

Shane glanced at Lauren, not sure how to read her. In the past few days whenever he ran into her, she’d been a little distant. Guarded somehow. They had a personal relationship because of Josh, but he didn’t want anything beyond that. Not that he thought for a second that she did. But she had to be lonely.

The fact that she was pretty and sexy made things tricky. He didn’t want to think about how she’d taste if he kissed her or how her body would feel if he held her.

“We had a great day,” he said to clear his mind. “Got to see Sammy the sea turtle in 3-D. Felt like we were on the back of an octopus riding through coral reefs. As Josh said, it was pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Josh said, jumping up and down in his excitement. “Like being under the ocean and having my own octopus to ride on. Next time, you gotta come, Mom.”

Lauren hugged her son. “I’m so glad you had a wonderful day.” She looked at Shane. “Thanks for taking him.”

“I enjoyed it too. Haven’t been there in probably ten years.”

“Neither have I, but Josh has been with his grandparents a few times. They live in Phoenix and come out each summer to escape the heat.”

“No family nearby?”

“No, his other grandparents live in Tampa, Florida, and I don’t have any siblings. Jeremy, my husband, has a brother and sister, but they are busy with their own lives and rarely call except for birthdays and Christmas.” She shrugged. “We do all right, don’t we, kiddo?”

He nodded, not saying a word.

“Why don’t you go wash up,” she told him, “while I set the table?”

After he left, Lauren walked to the kitchen, gesturing for Shane to follow. “I made lasagna for dinner,” she said as she took a pan out of the oven. “Figured you both might be hungry, and I can tutor you either before or after.”

“Sounds good. That was real nice of you.”

“It was the least I could do,” she said, turning away to pull a large bowl of salad from the refrigerator. “You’ve been so great with Josh. He already adores you.” She glanced his way. “I’m so worried that he might get too attached.”

Shane’s mouth dropped open. “He might, but is that a bad thing? I won’t hurt him, or you, or anyone.” He leaned against the kitchen sink, watching her. “You’ve been acting strange with me lately. Is that what’s going on? You’re worried about him?”

“I can’t help myself. He’s all I’ve got.” She kept her back to him as she tossed the salad. “But I’m probably making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

“Talk to me. Are you not okay about me seeing Josh—is that it?”

She shrugged, dishing the salad into small wooden bowls. “He gets so close to people and wants to be loved so badly, and then the men in his life leave.”

“Well, I’m not about to leave.”

“You will one day, and that is the right thing for you to do. Problem is, he’s just a little boy, and he doesn’t understand that sometimes people have to leave, even though they still love them.” She scooted around him to get plates from a cupboard. “This is not your concern. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have shared it with you.”

He rubbed his jaw, wondering what to say. He couldn’t tell her that he’d never leave, because he might have to attend med school somewhere else. What did she want from him? “Hey, you initiated this deal, and if you want to call it off, fine. But I like Josh, and he seems to enjoy being with me.”

“I know he does.” She set the plates on a counter and finally faced him. “It’s a good deal for both of us, but …” She paused, biting her lip.

“But what?”

“We will both miss you when you’re gone.” She rubbed her hands together and blinked rapidly. “There. I said it.”

He took two steps and put his hands on her arms.

“I’m not going anywhere for the time being. At least, I have no intention of leaving this immediate area.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I have obligations here. I’m looking after my friend’s condo while he’s in Afghanistan, for starters. I also have friends here. Guys I used to work with back in my CAL FIRE days and fellows that I’ve met through the Wounded Warrior Project.”

“Yes. You’re here for now, and that’s all we can ask.” She twisted her hands. “But maybe next year you’ll leave. You got your college degree online, and spent the past year doing pre-med courses at UCLA. No matter how good your grades, this might not be enough to get into med school. They are highly selective, and you’ll need to accept whatever offer comes your way. Very few people can pick and choose.”

“True, but we will face that when the time comes. For now this is my home, and that’s very important to me. Unless you’ve been in an Iraqi terrorist camp, you can’t possibly imagine what that means.”

Her eyes widened. “Of course, I don’t know what you’ve been through. How could I?”

He gave her a sheepish smile. “I can’t believe I just said that.” He could feel heat flooding up from his collar, seeping into his face. “That was really pathetic, playing on your emotions like that.” He chuckled at himself. “I can’t guarantee what will happen in the future, but who can? Don’t worry so much.”

“As a mother, it’s a full-time job. I have Josh to protect. Nothing matters more than his safety and his happiness. Nothing.”

“Lauren, you can’t close yourself, or him, off from people on the far chance that one of you’ll be hurt.”

“Yes, I can. I have to.”

“No, you don’t. You can trust me. You should trust me.”

They stared at each other for a few long seconds. Without realizing it, Shane leaned closer to her, feeling as though he could stare into her blue eyes all night. They weren’t ice cold any longer. They were warm and inviting, like the blue water of a lake. Or maybe like the blue of a fire, that hot blue that could burn .…

“Are you guys fighting?”

Startled, Shane looked down and saw Josh staring at them with a worried look in his eyes.

Lauren straightened, cleared her throat, and pulled open the cutlery drawer. “No, we’re not fighting, honey. We’re having a discussion.” She collected knives and forks and handed them to Josh. “Why don’t you set the table?”

Josh left the room, and Shane turned back to Lauren. “I’m not going anywhere for at least a year. It’ll take that long to finish up my course work.”

“Thank you,” she said and quickly turned away again.

They sat down to dinner, and Josh gave his mother a blow-by-blow description of their day’s activities, helped on occasion by Shane. Lauren nodded and laughed at all the right moments, but Shane could see her mind was elsewhere.

Once they were done, Shane cleaned up while Lauren bathed Josh and got him into his pajamas. When she joined him at the table again, Shane didn’t immediately open his books.

“Before we get started,” he said, “I just want to say that I don’t want to leave you and Josh or my home either. But, yes it could happen. Nothing in life comes with guarantees. All anyone has is one day at a time.”

“I know that. But I don’t have to like it.”

“Nobody likes it, but it’s just one of those nasty facts of life.” He eased back in his chair, fiddling with his pen. “Since we can’t do anything to change it, let’s talk about something we do have control over.” He glanced at her, wanting to ease her worry and hoping to coax a smile. “Like what’s going on at the hospital? Does everyone still think you and I have something going on?”

“Of course.” Her face didn’t lighten up. “It’s a little awkward, that’s for sure.”

“Why? It shouldn’t be.”

“It is. You’re no longer just a guy delivering me a patient in the ER. We have a personal connection now.” Her voice was flat, and she was speaking clearly and concisely, as if reporting to an ethics committee. “Because of Josh. And my tutoring you.”

“It won’t get in the way. We’re both professionals and know what we’re doing.”

“Do we?” She glanced away, and when she looked back, she seemed confused. “Margaret thinks I’ve been distracted lately.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he scoffed. “It’s not like we’re having an affair. We’re just friends.”

“True.” She opened her mouth and then shut it again.

“What is it? Just tell me, for God’s sake.”

“Okay.” She was silent for a few seconds, and her cheeks grew pink. Finally, her eyes met his, and she spoke. “This may sound stupid to you, but I actually look forward to you coming into the ER. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do.”

He closed his eyes as he tilted his head back. This was not what he wanted. The sudden rising of heat in his loins, the burning desire to hold Lauren, to take her, to have her. No. Not with this woman.

His eyes opened slowly. He took a deep breath and released it. “What if I said I hope you’re on duty when I show up too?”

Her gaze was direct, her expression serious. “Then I’d say we need to address this issue and deal with it.”

He crossed his arms, squashing the hunger inside of him. It had been so long. Going on two years since he’d had a woman in his arms. “So, we have a little sexual attraction going on. Who’s it hurting? Neither one of us will act on it, so it’s no big deal.”

“It makes me uncomfortable at work.” She sat up straighter in her seat. “I can’t be distracted.”

“You won’t be.” He looked at her for a long time, just studying her. Finally, he grinned. “When was the last time you were kissed?” He knew it was a mistake to bring up the subject of kissing. Knew it the moment the words escaped his lips. But he wouldn’t take them back, even if he could. He wanted to hear her answer.

She straightened even more, which was darn near impossible. “That’s none of your business.”

“No. But I can see that you’re tense. You have all that sexual energy bottled up inside. I know because I’m in the same boat.” He shrugged. “Seems like we both have a problem.” It wasn’t him she wanted, he told himself. She simply needed a man. Probably hadn’t made love since her husband died.