Halo (Blood and Fire Series (A Young Adult Dystopian Series)) (41 page)

“Don’t make me carry you kicking and screaming, Kit.”

“That’s exactly what you’re going to have to do,” I tell him.

“You’re going to get yourself killed. You’re going to get all of us killed, too, as well as all the people relying on us to get them out of here tonight. Do you want that?”

His words do make me pause, but not for long. “I know where he will be. I know exactly how to get there. I’m not asking any of you to come with me. I’ll go alone. It’ll be easier that way. Just go and get the others out. I’ll meet you at the refinery.”

James glares at me, exasperation clear in his eyes. Max speaks up first. “Just let her go. She’s capable enough.”

I shoot him a thankful glance. James looks at Max like he’s mad, that is until Callum and Raff agree. “She’ll be fine,” Callum says, nodding at me.

James turns on Ryka. “And I suppose you think this is a great idea, too?”

“No, I think it’s a terrible idea,” he says. My jaw drops, but Ryka’s hand reaches out for mine. “I’m going with her, though. She’s right. I would never leave Olivia behind.”

Relief. That’s what I experience, even though I know he’s putting himself in danger for me. I take his hand and press myself against his side.

“Fine. Go, then,” James says. “But I’m telling you now, if you get yourselves killed, I won’t be held responsible.”

“No, not this time,” Ryka says quietly. I hear it, though, and James does, too. A sharp, jagged smile spreads across his face.

“We’ll see you at the refinery.” He turns and melts into the night, swiftly followed by Max and Raff. I catch hold of Callum’s hand as he goes to leave.

“Make sure you get Penny and her family, too.”

He nods. “Of course.”

REUNION

Back in the Colosseum, the thunder of footfall pounds on the arena steps. Everyone is returning to their seats following Opa’s production. The fanfare is blaring out loud again, and it can only be ten minutes before my brother is called out onto the match floor. We’re almost too late.

“Hurry,” I whisper to Ryka, running through the empty passageways. I still can’t believe he wanted to stay with me. My heart hurts a little as I consider how much trouble I’m probably getting him into. Actually, it hurts a whole lot. I pause outside the waiting room reserved for the Kitsch family’s fighters, panicking.

“My brother’s on the other side of this door. He’s not going to want to hear what I say. He’s going to want to get the guards as soon as I step foot in there. I might have to fight him, so there’s a strong chance I’m going to get caught. You should probably go.”

Ryka frowns a little and smiles at me. “I’m not going anywhere. It’s taking you far too long to realise how I feel about you, Kit. I’m not leaving you. I’m
never
leaving you. If you go, I go.”

I shiver at what he says, grateful but at the same time completely blown away. I’m no good with words. I have no idea how to tell him what he means to me, that he’s the only reason I’m not a gibbering wreck under the weight of all my guilt. I trace my fingertips lightly across his cheekbone and he dips his head, leaning into my palm. That’s enough to make my heart start hammering all over again. He tilts his head and carefully kisses the inside of my wrist. “It’s time to do this,” he says.

And it really is.

The door handle feels freezing cold in my hand after the searing heat of Ryka’s skin. I blow out a shaky breath before turning it and pushing myself forward, not allowing myself time to react. The scene on the other side of the door takes a second to sink in. The sight of my brother, fidgeting with his wrist straps, bouncing on the balls of his feet, isn’t what surprises me. That’s normal. It isn’t even Lowrence, leaning against the wall across the room, or the two guards he has flanking him. It’s Miranda. It’s the look on her face when she sees me. A horrified, pained expression, like she’s being torn apart from the inside out. It’s the most emotion I’ve ever seen her wear, and it’s toxic.

 
“How?” she sighs softly, like all the air is escaping her body. A choked gasp follows. My brother, my father, the guards, everyone turns to look at Ryka and me standing in the doorway, and for a moment no one does anything.

It’s then that I hear Ryka exhale. “I don’t…I don’t understand,” he whispers. I catch sight of him and feel the bottom falling out of my world. His facial expression matches that of Miranda’s.

“What is it?” I murmur. I don’t really need to, though. Dread is cycling through me, gaining momentum, and I can predict the implosion that’s about to take place. It’s already started.

“You
―
” Ryka whispers.

Miranda tries to get to her feet, and it’s then that I notice Lexa sitting in her lap, her little arms wrapped around the blonde woman’s neck. Miranda unravels her daughter and places her absently on the floor beside her. She doesn’t move beyond that.

“What are you doing here?” she says.

A confused look passes around the room. Lowrence’s eyes land on me and I steel myself, planning how I’m going to take him down if he even so much as
thinks
about stepping towards me. My brother and the guards seem to be waiting for someone to tell them what to do.

“I came for her,” he says. Ryka’s words ground out a hollow in my stomach. He takes a step but it’s not forward, it’s sideways, closer to me. His hand snakes around my waist and he grabs hold of my hip protectively. I take my eyes off my wary brother for a moment to look up at Ryka; his eyes are filled with hurt. “Jack said he thought you’d come here. He said you didn’t want to feel anymore.”

Miranda’s head drops and her hair falls into her face. My father finally pushes off the wall and folds his arms across his chest. “Someone had better explain what’s going on. You know this boy?” he directs at Miranda. When she raises her head, there are bright tears shining on her eyelashes. She doesn’t respond to Lowrence. She takes a step towards Ryka.

“He was right. That’s why I wanted to come here. I didn’t want to feel anything.”

Ryka’s body goes stiff. “You’re a liar,” he snarls. “You’re not wearing a halo. You probably never did. You just left us and—”

She shakes her head quickly, holding out her hands. “That’s not true. I came here, I…I wanted more than anything to numb all the pain, but when I went to see the technicians I couldn’t do it. I knew if they took everything I felt away then I wouldn’t remember how much I loved you and your sister. I wouldn’t remember how much I missed you.”

Ryka’s hand tightens on my hip so much so that my skin begins to throb. Not as much as my heart, though. None of this can be true. She can’t be….

“You were our mother. You weren’t supposed to leave us in the first place. You wouldn’t have had to miss us at all if you hadn’t left!” Ryka shouts.

So it’s true. I feel bile rising at the back of my throat. It all makes total sense. Ryka must have always suspected his mother came here. He’d thought she’d done it to escape her pain. That’s why he hates Lockdown, why he hated the thought of me putting my halo back on. It was all because of her. She turned up when I was six years old, for crying out loud. It all fits so neatly that I have to swallow down the urge to scream.

Ryka grabs hold of my hand, shaking like crazy. “Look at you. You didn’t waste any time. You’ve got yourself set up with another little family again. Do you even think about me and Olivia? You know she’s gone and interred herself in the Keep because she thinks your martyred yourself to do the Gods’ work! She’s in there right now, living that life, because you left us to come here and start all over again!”

A strangled sob works free from Miranda. With her hand on her chest, she takes in the two of us standing in front of her. Her eyes fix on me with a look of pure hate. “You brought him here. Why? Do you hate me that much?”

I stare at her blankly. She thinks I knew about this? She’s blind if she can’t see I’m as stunned as everyone else in the room. And mortified. Lexa starts crying as the second round of fanfare blares drunkenly through the speakers above us. They’re calling for my brother.

Lowrence tips his head at the guards and steps forward. “I have no idea what the hell is going on right now, but we need to sort this out later. Son, you have a match to win. And you,” he stabs a finger in my direction. “You have a lot to answer for. You’re not going anywhere.”

Ryka reacts immediately, stepping in front of me. “We’re leaving. We came to get him,” he says, gesturing to my brother, whose eyebrows inch up his forehead in surprise.

“You’re not here to get your halo fixed?” he asks.

The way he asks that, like it would have been the most normal thing to have happened
―
for me to have come to my senses and returned to be controlled—makes my blood boil. “No! We weren’t free, okay? They’re using us to kill for sport! We’re just money to them. They train us and send us out there to get cut up and die for their entertainment. For their precious social standing! You deserve a name and the chance to make your own decisions!”

My brother just looks at me blankly. “I don’t understand.”

“Just…can you come with us, please?” I plead.

He looks from me to Lowrence and back again. It’s hardly a contest; our father has always been able to threaten us without saying a word. My brother’s hand goes to his daggers, the way mine do when I’m unsure.

“Come on, boy. She’s not going anywhere. The guards are going to keep these two here until you get back. Then we can iron out this whole mess.” He graces me with another hard look. “You have a lot of fights to catch up on before we’re square, young lady.”

I let out a hard laugh. He actually thinks I’m going crawl back into the arena and fight for him again. I must have really embarrassed him by running away.

“Not. Happening,” I spit.

His eyebrow crooks up. “You’ll feel differently when you’re wearing your halo again.” His eyes run up and down Ryka. “And since you’re my wife’s blood, I will allow you to remain under my roof as well. Who knows, maybe once we have a collar around your neck you’ll start behaving, too. Miranda told me about you, you know. Trouble maker from the word go if I recall correctly.”

Those words are a really bad move on my father’s part. Rage bubbles out of Ryka like it’s a tangible thing, infecting me as he springs forward. In two steps he has a knife against Lowrence’s windpipe. The two guards spring into action and I have my lone dagger in my hand in an instant. There’s no room for error here. It’s difficult to fight in such a small space, especially with Lexa present. I may not like her very much, but she’s five years old. I share blood with her. Hell, Ryka shares blood with her too.

I feel sick when I slam the butt of my knife straight into the solar plexus of the guard closest to me. I can’t think about this whole confused nightmare right now. The only thing that matters is getting out of here. Miranda screams as I take out the winded guard’s knees and he sinks to the floor. He pulls out his gun but not quick enough. I lash out with my blade, my movements precision-quick and sharp, cutting at his wrist. His gun clatters to the floor and he has a second to look up at me surprised before I hammer my clenched fist into his face. He goes down without a sound.

“Put the knife down!” the other guard hollers.
 
Unfortunately he’s had time to draw his weapon. He’s yelling at Ryka, though I doubt he hears him. He’s glaring up at Miranda, all the while holding his blade to Lowrence’s throat. A thin trail of blood has run down his neck and is dripping onto the floor. My father’s eyes meet mine and he holds out his hand, like he thinks I’m going to protect him. I flip my knife over and turn back to my brother, but he’s not where he was a moment ago. I panic, just as another burst of fanfare jaunts into life above us. They’re going to be coming down here looking for him soon.

“Did you mean it?”

I spin around and my brother is standing in the doorway. His face is blank and I can hear his halo cranking the Sanctuary’s drugs into his system. His mouth must be filled with the taste of almonds.

“Mean what?” I say.

A frown flutters across his forehead. “That I can have a name.”

I let out my breath and nod. “Yes! You’re a person. You shouldn’t be referred to like you’re someone’s property.”

“And if I take this off,” his hand works its way to the silver halo shining brightly under his collar. “Who will I be then?”

“Whoever you want to be,” I say quietly.

His hand falls slack to his side. For a moment I think he’s considering it. Really considering it. A shrill shriek snatches my attention away, and that’s when things start to unravel. The guard steps forward and presses his gun into the side of Ryka’s temple. Ryka reacts by pushing down with the knife so that Lowrence’s arms and legs flail wildly, kicking and lashing at the floor.

“Stop!” Miranda wails.

“Who? Who are you telling to stop?” Ryka bites out. “The guard that has a gun to your son’s head? Or me, because I have a knife to this piece of crap’s throat?”

Her hand flutters to her mouth and tears stream down her face. “Please, Ryka! I love him.”

A cold look flashes over Ryka’s face. He sinks back a little, easing off Lowrence’s throat. “You were supposed to love my father. You were supposed to love
me
.”