Hallowed Bond (Chronicles of Ylandre Book 2) (5 page)

“I wouldn’t were it anyone other than you,” Riodan said. “I like you, Dy. Indeed, I…” He hesitated then forged on. “I’m in love with you.”

Dylen stared at him. He shook his head. “You know that lovers are forbidden to us.”

“Your father had a number of lovers in his youth,” Riodan reminded him. “Your sire was one of them.”

“They were brief affairs, and none of
Adda’s
lovers expected more. But you do. You would want me to yourself, Rio.”

“Yes, I would,” Riodan promptly agreed. “And why shouldn’t I? It’s only natural that I would want my beloved to belong to me alone.”

“Which I can’t do for you even if I returned your affections.”

Riodan snorted. “Say rather that you could only if you returned my love. I’m no fool, Dy. I know that I can’t ask that of you. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nor does it change my wish to experience my first coupling with you.”

“Rio—”

“I’m not demanding you comply this very night. I only ask that you consider my request.”

Dylen looked away to pensively stare at the fire.

The majority of his bed partners were long time patrons of the Seralye who desired the thrill or release of reversed sexual roles. But he’d also had his share of patrons who enjoyed the challenge of bedding someone equal in strength to or even stronger than themselves. Seldom however were innocents among these. In their inexperience, they were easily intimidated by a partner with Dylen’s confidence and commanding personality. Unless they wished to play the sheath their first time, most neophytes to the love arts chose to be initiated by the gentler and more submissive of Dylen’s peers.

A Deir of Riodan’s social stature, and one who was an only child as well, would be averse to spreading himself for another of lesser station, let alone doing so on his first bedding. Indeed, if Riodan ran true to form, he would yield himself only to his lawful spouse. Therefore, were Dylen to give in to the youth’s wishes, he would likely do the

yielding. Dylen flinched at the thought.

He very rarely engaged in sexual communion and the sharing of his body for any reason other than as a service rendered for the right price. Casual couplings were few and far between, and he always dictated the nature and pace of those encounters.

Surrendering himself to Riodan would alter the dynamics of their present relationship—

an easy, affectionate one founded on trust and respect. What if the change was not for the better?

“Dy?”

Dylen started then stared at his companion. Riodan in turn gazed at him unhappily.

“You truly don’t want to lie with me,” he muttered. “Am I that repugnant?” His voice quivered as he finished speaking.

Dylen caught his breath at Riodan’s dejected mien. “Nay! Never deem yourself less than desirable, Rio.”

“Except to you,” Riodan despondently replied.

“That isn’t so,” Dylen said. ”You are beautiful and sweet and kind besides. No Deir could possibly wish for more in a partner.”

“Yet you obviously do.”

“Rio—”

“I will leave now. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“You didn’t.” Dylen rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Please, let me explain.”

The younger Deir laughed mirthlessly. “Explain what? That I’m not to your taste?

There’s no explaining that, Dy. It simply is.”

“But you
are
to my taste, confound it!” Dylen blurted. “Too much in fact.”

Riodan gazed at him in confusion. “Then why do you resist me? I don’t understand.”

“Because I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Dylen admitted. When Riodan looked even more befuddled, he sighed and said, “I would have you as my friend, Rio. Sleeping with you would only damage what we do share.”

Riodan visibly flinched. “Meaning you could never love me as I do you,” he whispered.

After a moment’s hesitation, Dylen said, “On the contrary, I could.”

Shocked, Riodan gaped at him. Then comprehension dawned in his eyes. “But you don’t want to.”

Dylen gestured with his hand to encompass the room. “This is what I do nearly every day of my life. I service Deira who can pay my price. Do you truly think anything more than our bodies’ sating can come out of an affair with me? Yet, I will not leave my profession for anything less, Rio. I can’t.” He gripped Riodan’s hands. “I care for you—

more than I’ve ever dared feel for anyone. I don’t want to lose the love that we
can
share just to slake your lust or mine.”

Riodan lifted bright eyes to him. His lips curved in a crooked smile. The sight nigh broke Dylen’s resolve.

“I think it’s best I move out of your house,” he said, his voice breaking as he struggled not to reveal the extent of his hurt. He lifted a hand to forestall Dylen’s protest.

“I didn’t tell you because I’d hoped staying on would—” He shook his head. “A vain dream and a foolish one.” He drew a shaky breath. “I found lodgings in the east district two weeks ago. Paid six months rent on it as a matter of fact. It’s time I stopped imposing on you and your
adda
.”

Dylen stared at him, the implications of Riodan’s decision rapidly sinking in.

“You’re saying goodbye,” he gasped.

“Yes.”

“Rio…”

“I love you,” Riodan thickly said. “I can’t make do with less.”

“Why not?”

Riodan bitterly chuckled. “You might as well ask me why I can’t stop breathing.” He rose, pulling Dylen to his feet as he did. “I’m glad I met you, Dy. I only wish we could have ended our acquaintance on a happier note.”

He seemed to hesitate then drew something from inside his tunic. He silently handed Dylen a tiny parcel covered with gold tissue and gestured to him to unwrap it.

Dylen opened the parcel and winced. A wristlet of beaten gold and woven leather with a heartsfire clasp nested within the delicate wrapper. The significance of the deep red gem struck him hard.

Heartsfire was the stone of lust and passion. The meaning behind the
hethare’s
earring of a heartsfire within a gold loop was readily evident given the nature of the profession. And a young Deir upon reaching the age of consent signaled his intention to begin sexual exploration by wearing a heartsfire stud on his left ear. But heartsfire was also the stone of intimacy and commitment. The gem set in gold was indication that the bearer was betrothed or in a long-term liaison. Coupling it with another precious stone signified either of two things: that the wearer belonged to the gentry or aristocracy or was the concubine of a member of the upper class.

The presence of the stone on any other piece of jewelry was the giver’s unspoken request for permission to commence courtship and, if he wore it, the recipient’s acceptance of the giver’s intentions. Dylen looked at Riodan in consternation.

Correctly divining the
hethar’s
expression, Riodan softly said, “I don’t expect you to wear it. I know it would be highly inappropriate for you to do so now. And you’re not one to offer false hope either. But I had it made especially for you, and I can’t imagine giving it to anyone else. So please accept it. Even if you never wear it, I will find comfort in the thought that you care enough to keep this gift of mine.”

Dylen bit his lip. Swallowing hard, he nodded and pocketed the parcel. Riodan suddenly pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face for a moment in the crook of Dylen’s neck. And then he let go and, without a word, hurried out of the parlor.

Dylen felt the weight of loss keenly. He knew Riodan would be gone by the time he got home. He sank down on the couch once more, his eyes stinging from unshed tears.

It was unlikely he would see Riodan again.

Chapter Four

Offense

“Do you regret your decision?” Hirlen softly asked.

Dylen paused in the midst of sorting through freshly laundered clothing. He stared at the shirt in his hand without really seeing it. At length, he tossed it to one side and turned to face his father. Behind them, the late morning sun streamed in through the bedroom window to gather in a pool of light on the now vacant divan.

“I regret it,” he readily admitted. “But not because I think I’m wrong. Only that in doing so I have lost a friend.” He sighed dolefully. “I won’t deny I miss him terribly,
Adda
. But I did what I believe will serve both of us best.”

Hirlen frowned. “There are times you must think of your own needs, Dy. Of what your heart tells you.”

“And listen to it?” Dylen said skeptically.

“Oh yes. It’s only rarely that the heart has anything to say. We live by our reason more oft than not. Therefore, when the heart speaks, it’s best to hearken to it. It mayn’t happen a second time.” Hirlen shook his head. “The chance to love may pass us by and never come our way again.”

Dylen paused in his sorting. “You speak as if…”

“As if
I
know something of it? Don’t we all to some degree?” Hirlen placed a hand on Dylen’s, stopping him from continuing with his chore. He pulled Dylen down to sit by him on the edge of the bed. “I did become very fond of someone a long while ago. But, like you, I thought there was no place for love in our world. Or the likes of me in his. So I let him go. Do I regret it?” Hirlen shrugged. “Sometimes. When I long for the company of a good Deir. But then, what I felt for him hadn’t become a true and mature love yet.

And I wouldn’t have had you in any case if I had taken the chance then.”

“Then why do you urge me to do as you didn’t?” Dylen challenged.

Hirlen said, “Because I feel you have given your heart as I never fully did.” He lifted his hand and stroked Dylen’s raven locks. “Whether you wish it or not, Riodan owns it, and none will ever be able to take it from him.” Hirlen tenderly regarded Dylen. “Am I right?”

Dylen looked away. “Would that I could claim otherwise,” he murmured.

“And, if you like, we can then go to my—Rio, are you listening?”

Riodan looked at his companion guiltily. Ithan was regarding him none too patiently.

He could not blame the other Deir. He had been paying only half a mind to him since they met for the midday meal in the University dining hall. Now they were supposed to be discussing what they would do after classes.

It was the end of the week and the last day of the midterm examinations of the summer term. There were only the oral examinations to endure the following week.

“I’m sorry, Ithan,” Riodan murmured. “What did you say?”

Ithan pouted. “You’re leagues away again. What in Aisen are you thinking of? Ah, it’s that
hethar
you introduced me to, isn’t it?”

Riodan reluctantly nodded. “I can’t help it. I keep wishing we’d parted on a better note. As it is…” He sighed. “I spotted him the other day. He was on his way back from the market with his father. I smiled at him when he saw me and he smiled back but, well, he didn’t look very happy.”

“Not happy to see you?” Ithan pressed.

“I’m not sure,” Riodan said. “I hope not.”

Ithan threw an arm around his shoulders. “You have to put him out of your head, Rio. You can’t go about in a fog all day on account of him!”

Riodan offered him a lopsided grin. “You’re right, I can’t.”

He tried to focus his full attention on Ithan. The latter was quite good-looking with his light brown hair and pale heavy-lidded eyes. And he was warm and amicable, almost brashly so. It was not his fault that neither his looks nor personality could compare to Dylen’s dark beauty or his subtly seductive amiability. But, really, who could? Riodan strove to be more appreciative of his friend.

“What was it you were saying we could do later?” he asked.

Ithan smiled, mollified by the interest shown in his suggestions.

“I thought we might watch the mummers perform in Temple Square then have dinner at the tavern near my boarding house. The food is quite good and cheap besides and the servings hearty. And the ale is wonderful. Strong and nutty I tell you.”

“That sounds well enough.”

“Afterwards we can go to my rooms.”

Riodan hesitated. “Your rooms?”

“Yes. You haven’t visited my quarters yet. And I have some good wine I’d like to share with you.” Ithan smiled at him entreatingly. “Do say you’ll come, Rio.”

Riodan experienced a frisson of unease. But he could think of no reason for it or a decent refusal of Ithan’s invitation. Besides, what harm was there in spending a few hours at the latter’s lodgings?

“All right then,” he agreed. “I’ll meet you in the square at five bells.”

Hirlen asked one more time, “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

Dylen had to smile at his father’s display of protectiveness. “It isn’t as if this will be the first time I shall be by myself,” he pointed out.

“But never longer than a fortnight. And with no one to serve you.”

“Tarqin needs a holiday as much as you. I’ll be fine,
Adda
.”

He gently pushed Hirlen out the door and urged him down the steps and toward the waiting coach. Tarqin was already seated up front beside the coach driver. Dylen assisted his father into the conveyance and waited until he had settled himself within.

“Now, go and enjoy yourself. But not so much that you forget to write!”

Hirlen chuckled. “And you take care, Dy.”

“I will. Veres keep you,
Adda.
”

Dylen watched the vehicle as it lumbered down the street, bearing Hirlen and faithful Tarqin away. His father would be on holiday for three weeks in Belthin, a resort town in the north of the seaside fief of Glanthar. Since it took three days to travel to Belthin and

another three to return to Rikara, Hirlen would be away for a month at the very least.

Dylen sighed heavily as he returned to the house.

It would be a long and lonely month.

Riodan wondered why he had agreed to accompany Ithan to his student quarters after dinner. Truth be told, all he wanted was to go home to his own lodgings and sleep off the effects of the ale they’d consumed in copious quantity to offset the lackluster quality of their meal.

The tavern Ithan had recommended turned out to be a tad more disreputable than Riodan was used to. The food had been neither as cheap nor hearty as Ithan had made it out to be, and the music and japery favored by the establishment’s clientele were of the prurient variety aimed at raising the baser instincts of the susceptible of libido. Riodan had departed the establishment in much relief and determined never to grace its premises ever again.