Half Moon Hill (36 page)

Duke said, “I caught enough bluegill to grill up for dinner tomorrow night if you want.” And then he realized she was crying and looked alarmed. “Geez, Daisy, I left you a note—said I’d be back.”

And she let out a laugh through her tears, reaching her fingers up to wipe them away. “I know that and that’s not why I’m crying, silly,” she told him. Then she sniffed, and tried to be her slightly more sophisticated self. “Besides, we’re casual, remember? I appreciated the note, but I’m cool with the ‘no promises’ thing—really.”

He lowered his chin, looking wary. “Then what are you crying about?”

She gave her head a quick shake. “Just something I read.”

“What?”

She supposed there was no harm in telling him, so she held up the diary. “This belonged to the girl who lived here back in the fifties,” she said.

“The one who left the records and other stuff you told me about.”

She nodded. “This is Cathy’s diary and . . .”
Okay, don’t ruin things by talking about mushy stuff like first love.
“And it just makes me emotional sometimes.”

“Bad stuff happen to her?” His brow knit.

Though she was still getting over feeling weepy, she smiled. “No, good stuff mostly. It just makes me realize how . . . fleeting life can be. How quickly it all passes by. And it’s strange to read something written by someone whose life was really just beginning then but who’s dead now.”

He nodded, looking like he was taking that in. But then he said, “That’s kinda deep, Daisy.”

She laughed, rolled her eyes. “Well, you asked. So if that’s too deep for you, tell me about your fish.”

“Well, they were small and blue and I feel emotional because their lives were really just starting but they’re dead now.”

Anna gasped at his humor, then set the diary aside, hopped to her feet, and ran over to smack him on the arm for making fun of her. But soon enough his arms were around her and they were kissing—and then running hand in hand for the bedroom.

A
nna was working at Under the Covers by herself when the door opened and Jeremy Sheridan walked in. Did he look even more handsome than she remembered? But even if he did, she cringed inside—because she’d sort of forgotten he existed—that quick.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, flashing a winning smile.

“Um, hey.” She smiled back, but feared it appeared wooden.

“Sorry I haven’t been around lately—my folks prodded me into a last minute trip to Florida to visit your parents.”

She flinched. Her mother had left a message on her answering machine to call, but they’d been playing phone tag since then. “Why?” she blurted.

And Jeremy laughed. “Nothing to panic about, Anna. My parents and yours are friends—in fact, there are a few other Destiny transplants in the area where they live, too. You should get down there sometime—your mom mentioned you haven’t come to visit yet.”

Anna nodded. “I know. I keep saying I’ll come, but remodeling the inn has kept me from making the time.”

“Cute little beach town,” he said. She’d seen pictures and it looked wonderful. And his tan explained the more-handsome-than-she-remembered part. “It was good to unwind and relax for a few days. But I’m glad to be home—and I’m hoping you’ll go with me to the big Fourth of July picnic out at Ed and Betty’s farm.”

Anna went numb. Other than meeting Betty on her first day working here, she barely even knew the Fishers, but she’d gone to their place for this same event last summer—because everyone did. And now Jeremy was asking her to go again—tomorrow. The bookstore had been quiet lately, and she hadn’t seen Tessa and Lucky, or she probably would have heard about Jeremy’s trip—and also been reminded about the Fourth of July picnic. But since she hadn’t, the whole thing caught her off guard.

“Um, wow,” she said, at a loss. Because the Duke thing was temporary, right? And before the Duke thing had started back up, she’d been determined to like Jeremy. Because he was a great guy. And it made all kinds of sense. And even if she didn’t want to think about it, Duke would be gone one of these days—whether from her life altogether or just from her bed—and what then? “I, um . . .” But crap, she still didn’t know what to say.

Jeremy laughed good-naturedly. Which she thought was kind, under the circumstances—he’d asked her on a date and she was acting like a dope. “Tell you what,” he said. “Sounds like maybe your plans are up in the air, so how about this? You can call me tomorrow if you decide you’d like to go. Or just meet me there. I’m a flexible guy. How’s that sound?”

Too, too nice.
He was
such
a good guy. “That sounds great,” she said. “And sorry I’m so . . . up in the air, as you said.”

“Not a problem, Anna,” he replied with another gorgeous smile.

And after he walked back out, the little bell on the door jingling up above his head, she couldn’t help asking herself a question.
Am I being smart or crazy?
Jeremy was a sure thing—for right now anyway. While Duke was a wild card. And she knew that, in the end, she had little chance of winning the game they were playing. He held all the cards, after all.

As she drove home a little later, she continued thinking it through.
You know he’s going to leave you again. Whether it’s tomorrow or next week or next month. And it’s all pretty perfect right now.
And even the fact that they worked so hard at keeping things light was fine, truly fine. She liked light and fun as much as anyone, and frankly, light and fun was easy now because she felt as if they’d already waded together through all the hard parts.
But he’s still going to leave you. Because he’s a troubled man. And you can’t fix somebody, or heal somebody. You can be there for them, you can contribute to their happiness—but you can’t fix them inside; Duke has to do that himself.
And no matter how good things seemed right now, Anna just didn’t know that he would. Because his troubles ran deep.

How much of yourself are you willing to give to a man so wounded? How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice? And no matter how cool and confident you are, no matter how light and fun things feel right now, how much of your heart will he take with him when he goes?

So don’t be foolish. You owe him nothing.
In fact, going to the picnic and fireworks with Jeremy tomorrow night would probably be a good break, and a good reminder that there was life beyond Duke Dawson.
It’s really not healthy for you to spend so much time alone with him anymore anyway. You’ll be attached to him when he leaves. But if you get out some, if you keep your options open, then it’ll be a lot easier when you wake up one morning to find the bed empty or come home one night to find the house dark.

Anna approached Half Moon Hill deciding that she would call Jeremy and tell him she’d love to go to Ed and Betty’s with him tomorrow night.

And then she pulled in the driveway and glanced over to see Duke standing beneath the maple tree smiling at her. Next to Cathy’s old swing, which he’d apparently found in the attic and just hung up.

“And I waited and lived on in a sort of ecstatic dream.”

Gaston Leroux,
The Phantom of the Opera

Twenty-one

A
nna felt as if she were in a sun-drenched haze as she crossed the yard in a summery dress and sandals to greet him.

“What do you think?” he asked, still grinning. And oh Lord, the man was sexy without even trying.

“I . . . think it’s amazing.”

This made him balk slightly. “I wouldn’t go
that
far. Just slapped a coat of paint on it and put on some sturdy new rope is all.”

How could she explain? “It’s . . . Cathy’s,” she said. “The girl who lived here. She wrote about it in her diary.”

Duke’s jaw dropped and she could see that even he was a bit affected by this news. “I found it in the attic when I was up there working on the windows, but . . . never thought about where it had come from. So it’s that old, huh? Been here since the fifties?”

She nodded. “Her boyfriend pushed her on it. It hung from this very tree.”

They both looked up into the thick green leaves. “Probably from this same branch,” he speculated.

And she nodded. “That’s always how I pictured it. Hanging exactly like this.”

Anna stood on one side of the swing, Duke on the other, and they looked at each other between the two thick twists of rope. And she knew that Duke felt the same magic in the coincidence that she did. The wonder of it passed between them wordlessly as her skin tingled.

“Thank you,” she said. And then she leaned over the swing and kissed him. “For hanging it. It’s the perfect touch for the yard.”

Their eyes met again amid the fresh connection this brought them. And it was like when they’d made love in the yard, almost in this very spot—she didn’t quite want the moment to end. Because as Cathy had shown her—it was all so fleeting.

And then Duke said, “Take a seat, Daisy,” and pointed to the swing below them.

She said nothing—just turned around and sat down on Cathy’s swing. Then she lifted her feet up and Duke began to push her. And the evening air smelled sweet with the scent of the roses by the house as a golden butterfly fluttered past beneath the tree. And Duke’s hands, each time they touched her back, felt sturdy and strong. And Anna imagined the joy Cathy had experienced in this very spot all those years ago while the boy she loved stood behind her, lifting her higher and higher.

Life was fleeting, but maybe there were some things that didn’t change much.

T
he following day, they worked together putting up the new trim pieces Anna had so diligently painted. She let Erik out—and tried to be responsive to his affectionate meowing by occasionally reaching down to pet him between carrying pieces of trim to Duke. Though at one point when she almost tripped over the cat, she looked down to say, “I’ve come to like you a lot, but seriously, you’re so needy. You could stand to work on that.”

It was the kind of day Anna liked best—hot and sunny and blue-skied, but dotted with enough puffy white clouds that whenever she started to think it might be getting
too
hot, a cloud floated in front of the sun to deliver some shade. More of Cathy’s records played inside, and music spilled through the open windows while they worked.

Later, as the sun began to dip toward the tree line, Duke grilled hamburgers from the freezer while Anna tried her hand at baked beans, and she also made deviled eggs. They cut up a watermelon she’d bought at a roadside stand a couple of days ago and soon sat on a blanket in the backyard eating their summertime feast.

They took their time, going back for more watermelon and some cookies Anna had gotten from the bakery in town, and quickly found themselves in that ethereal space where darkness was falling but you could still see everything around you. The light chirps of crickets filled the air, and lightning bugs began to blink in the distance.

She’d bought the gas grill thinking it would be a nice option for her B&B guests, but—thinking of the meal she’d just finished—Anna found herself deciding it seemed silly to offer a grill without a picnic table or two at which to eat. “I should pick up some lawn furniture,” she mused, looking around the large but mostly empty backyard. “Tables and chairs, maybe a lounge chair or two. Bet I can get it cheap when fall comes. Just like the grill last year.”

“Yeah, probably can, but . . .” Duke cast her a look she couldn’t quite interpret as he took the last juicy bite of a watermelon slice, then dropped the green rind on his plate and set it aside.

“You don’t think I should?”

In response, he gave his head an undeniably sexy tilt. “Nah, it’s not that. Guess I was just thinking . . . the blanket is nice for now.” And with that, he playfully pushed her to her back, met her gaze with those seductive gray eyes, then kissed her.

Okay, he was definitely right—the blanket had its merits.

She began sinking into his sweet, hot kisses, her arms twining around his neck, when booming sounds in the distance interrupted them, made them sit up—in time to see a bright burst of pink and green fireworks in the distance.

And she gasped lightly—remembering Jeremy. And that she’d never called him. Or even thought about going tonight. The truth was—the moment she’d seen Cathy’s swing yesterday, she’d forgotten all about the picnic invitation, as well as the man who’d so kindly issued it.

As more fireworks lit the sky miles away, Duke said, “Must be from that farm everybody goes to on the Fourth of July.”

“Betty and Ed’s,” she murmured. “I’d almost forgotten what day it was.” She and Duke had cooked out, made a picnic of their own, but they’d never once talked about it being a holiday.

“Surprised you aren’t down there at the big celebration,” he said.

“I was invited.” She still felt rather dazed by the realization.

“Why didn’t you go?”

They’d both continued watching the fireworks, but now Anna glanced over at her lover, feeling sheepish inside. “I forgot.”

The man next to her raised his eyebrows, his expression teasing her. “Forgot?”

So then she admitted the truth—to both of them. “Guess I had better things to do.”

“Hanging out here with me?”

She nodded. “Is that okay?” Then she turned her eyes back to the neon-lit sky. “Or is that too deep for you, Mr. Dawson?”

Next to her, she sensed more than saw his shrug as he said, “Nah, it’s okay, Daisy.” Then he reached over to hold her hand. “It’s nice.”

And as she sat there soaking up the moment, she couldn’t deny knowing that fireworks from a distance with Duke thrilled her way more than they would close-up with Jeremy. Her heart be damned.

A
nna manned the bookstore one afternoon a few days later when Amy and Tessa came in talking about the Fourth of July picnic. And Amy yelled to Anna, who was shelving new mystery novels out of her sight, “Where were
you
that day? I just assumed you’d be there or I’d have checked to make sure someone invited you.”