Halcyon Rising (31 page)

She stepped into the water, pressed her naked breasts against his back, and ran her hands down the flat, ridged line of his belly. She closed her hand around his pulsating cock, stroking his hard, wet length.

He groaned and bowed his head, letting the water pour over them as he gave himself entirely into her hands. “I wanted to make love to you once more…should have done it that night in Halcyon in your shower — just like the dream — but I was so angry about Trevelan…and I was not sure if you even wanted me…”

“I never stopped wanting you,” she whispered, pressing her lips beside the bandage on his wounded shoulder. “Whenever I’m around you I have to sit on my hands to keep from touching you. You are so beautiful, Sebastian. My every fantasy come to life.”

He covered her hand with his, stilling her tender ministrations, his big body trembling. “Swear to me that this has nothing to do with my promise to help you free Trevelan. I have been so afraid that all your sweet passion has just been a matter of survival, that, once you are reunited with him, you will cast me aside.”

That stung, though she knew circumstances had conspired to give him that impression. She released him and turned away, hugging herself and feeling very foolish. “What can I do to show you that you’re the only one I want? I’m here with you now because I want to be, but you act as though I’m some sort of whore trying to earn favors with my body.”

“No, Rhoswen.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her up hard against his slick, wet chest. His arousal pressed demandingly against her lower back as he rubbed his cheek against hers. “I meant nothing of the sort. I have never thought that of you, never felt anything but gratitude and amazement for your passion. Perhaps I am just looking for an explanation, for I certainly do not feel I deserve you.”

She turned in his arms and gazed up at him, trying to put her heart in her eyes. “I want you, Sebastian. Can’t you just trust me? Can’t you just love me?”

As soon as the last few words left her mouth, she regretted them. She hadn’t meant to say them, they’d just slipped out. Still, she held her breath, hoping against hope he wouldn’t let her down.

Instead of answering, he lowered his head, taking her mouth in a bruising kiss. For a moment she resisted, still wishing for the words, but he overwhelmed her, kissing her until nothing mattered but the taste and feel of him.

Sebastian kissed Rhoswen as though he would die if he did not, for in truth she was the only thing in his entire world worth living for. So far, he had made a terrible botch of everything, but in this at least, he intended to make it up to her.

With a groan, he pulled away and stared down at her. Even his dreams had not matched this. His little Selkie truly looked like a water creature, a siren or a mermaid, come to steal his soul. And he would gladly give it to her, if she would only continue her sorcery.

“Rhoswen, you are so beautiful.” He placed tender kisses upon her forehead, nose and lips, then lifted her in his arms and sat her upon a small flat rock at the base of the fall.

Kneeling before her, he ran his fingertips across her chest and belly, loving the slippery feel of her beautiful skin beneath his hands. She closed her eyes and leaned back, sighing as he teased her nipples to turgid attention. He bent to take one in his mouth, suckling her as she buried her hands in his hair.

Parting her thighs with his hands, he leaned even closer for a taste of her. He moaned against her sweet cleft, spearing two fingers deep inside her as he swirled his tongue around her distended little bud. Never had he made love to a woman this pure and clean. She tasted and smelled like heaven, like everything good that had been missing from his life.

“Sebastian,” she sobbed, trembling against him. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”

Her cry spurred him on, and he doubled his efforts, holding her on the razor’s edge without pushing her all the way over. The water pounded against his back, the steam billowing around them. Rhoswen’s breathy sobs filled the cavern until at last he let her climax.

Before she had a chance to recover, he picked her up and impaled her, sinking to the hilt in her warm, wet channel. She cried out and braced her hands against his shoulders for balance, making pain ricochet through him as she inadvertently grasped his wound.

Turning, he anchored her against the cave wall, slamming into her again and again, too aroused to let a little pain ruin this for him. She clung to him like moss as he thrust between her thighs. He gave in to every erotic fantasy he’d had since she had let him tie her to the bed and make love to her the first time.

His orgasm started at his toes and exploded through his body, nearly bringing him to his knees. When the last shudder had ended, he let her slowly slide down the wall as he buried his face in her hair. “Hot showers,” he whispered. “The best thing ever invented. And we did not even have to go to Halcyon to find one.”

* * *

Afterward, Sebastian spread their blankets out upon the smooth stone floor of the cavern and coaxed Rhoswen to lie down beside him. “I suppose it would not hurt if we rested here for awhile. Sleep if you like.”

She smiled up at him drowsily and stretched out upon her stomach. “Sleep sounds wonderful.”

Unable to keep from touching her, he lay down beside her and pulled her against him, gently kneading the base of her lovely, slim neck.

“You really do have magical hands.” She reached up and brought one of his hands to her mouth and brushed her lips across his knuckles. “When you touch me all my aches and pains fade into insignificance.”

“I learned the art of healing with my hands while I was in the desert.” He winced, wishing he had kept that fact to himself. He wanted nothing of that time to ruin this.

She propped herself on one elbow and peered down at him, her lovely face limned by the soft, overhead lights. “Do you want to talk about what happened to you?” She brushed his hair from his eyes with a gentle hand. “I think it might help.”

He glanced away. Her words created havoc within him. “I thought you already knew. I thought you had seen it all when you delved my mind.”

This explained everything. No wonder she had allowed him to touch her with his filthy hands. She had not realized the extent of his perversions.

“I saw parts of it. Flashes of pain and pleasure.” Her voice lowered as she continued to touch his face with her soft hands. “I know you were raped, Sebastian.”

He shuddered, having never actually allowed that word to enter his mind before. Raped? Rape was something that happened to women, was it not? And it had not been like that, never that easy. There had always been the illusion of choice, and perhaps that was what he had struggled with the most.

“I went with him willingly enough at first, Rhoswen. He promised me answers. He promised me all matter of things….”

She pressed her lips against his temple. “You were young. You were curious. He took advantage of you.”

He swallowed convulsively. “At first he fulfilled his promises. He taught me astronomy and alchemy, allowed me access to his vast library. In the evenings, he would share his opium pipe, while the women of his harem entertained us.”

He flushed a bit, remembering the varied sex acts he’d witnessed. Beautiful women, kissing and stroking each other. The opium had dulled his arousal somewhat, leaving him in a dreamlike state of bliss.

“It shocked you,” she whispered softly, no hint of judgment in her voice. “But you could not help but be intrigued. You wanted to know what it would be like, to lie with such beautiful women.”

He cast her a quick glance beneath his lashes, surprised by her matter-of-fact tone. “I soon realized that while I was watching them, he was watching me. But by then I had become addicted to the opium and nothing really mattered anymore. I just wanted to drift in that pleasant haze.”

“He seduced you. When you were at your most vulnerable, he touched you. At first you didn’t even know it was his hand that stroked you.”

“Jesu Christ.” He shoved away from her, scrambling to his knees, his chest heaving. “I do not want you to know these things. I cannot bear it.”

“Nothing that happened was your fault,” she whispered, pressing against him, refusing to let him put the distance he needed between them. “You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you did, Sebastian, because if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been at Hawkesmere to help me. I would have never met you or found out what an amazing man you are.”

To his horror, he realized he was crying. Harsh, wracking sobs he could not seem to control. He tried once again to pull away, but she hung on with stubborn determination.

“Oh, Sebastian. It’s all right, darling. It’s all right. I hate what was done to you, but I love you all the more for having survived it.”

Love?
The word stymied him, made the emotions breaking apart inside him even harder to contain. He had never expected this, that she would say the word he wanted so badly to hear, especially not when faced with his weakest moment.

Crushing her against him, he buried his face in the soft skin between her neck and shoulder, holding her as the wave of emotion slowly subsided.

Rhoswen hugged Sebastian tightly, wishing she hadn’t pushed him to reveal this to her. She’d hoped to help him put the horror of his past behind him, but feared she’d just made him relive it all.

She’d never seen a man a cry before and had no idea how to handle it. He tried to hide it from her, but his pain only added to his allure. She loved that he was able to show his emotions this way. Compared to the cool, distant men she’d known in her past, his emotional depth was very appealing.

She hadn’t meant to tell him she loved him, wasn’t even sure he’d heard her, but she wasn’t sorry she had. For a woman who had never felt very deeply, her feelings for Sebastian were both frightening and exhilarating.

Pulling back the blankets, she coaxed him to lie down beside her once more, then snuggled up beside him, loving the way it felt to be in his arms. The thought of having this every night crossed her mind once again, and she swore she’d find a way for them to be together for more than the next twenty-four hours. She wanted Sebastian, even if it meant giving up Halcyon forever.

Sebastian and Rhoswen slept far longer than they had intended. When they awoke, the starry sky of the night before had been replaced by the bright lights of day.

For a moment Sebastian just blinked, trying to orient himself. Somehow, the people of ancient Halcyon had found a way to change their environment from night to day, probably in an attempt to give some sort of measurability to the interminable days below the Surface.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Rhoswen shifted beside him, pushing herself up on one elbow and giving him a luminous smile. “I still don’t know how it works after all this time.”

“Fairy magic?” he suggested teasingly.

She leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. “I’m so glad you let me come with you. I wouldn’t have missed last night for anything.”

Will you choose me over Trevelan?
He wanted to ask, but did not want to spoil the moment. Last night she had said she loved him. If only he could bring himself to believe her. If only he could make himself let go of his doubts.

“I am also glad,” he admitted. “I hope the rest of our trip goes this smoothly. I do not want to put you in any danger.”

“You’ve already made me promise to stay in the tower,” she reminded him. “I’ll be fine.”

He cupped her face in his hands, staring into her beautiful eyes, willing her to understand how serious he was. “You have to promise me that at the slightest hint of trouble you will go back to Halcyon without me — without Trevelan, if need be. I cannot do what I must if I have to worry about you doing something stupid and heroic.”

“Stupid and heroic?” She shook her head and gave a soft laugh. “You’re a fine one to talk. You’ve been doing stupid, heroic things since I first met you.”

He ignored her jab and held her gaze. “Promise me, Rhoswen. I am serious.”

“All right,” she whispered, her attempt at levity fading. “I swear I won’t do anything to put myself in danger. The last thing I want to do is distract you.”

“Thank you.” He gave her a long, lingering kiss but managed to bank the explosive passion she always roused within him. They had spent far too much time here already. He pulled reluctantly away and offered her a tender smile. “Shall we get dressed and try to find the secret tower entrance?”

“I suppose we must. But I’d rather stay here with you. I love you, Sebastian.”

He would rather stay here, too. He had no illusions about the dangers that lay ahead. His chances of doing everything he needed to do were slim, and the temptation to linger, to prolong this little slice of Heaven before his inevitable trip to Hell, overwhelmed him.

If only they could forget Trevelan, forget the dying people of Hawkesmere and spend the rest of their days here in Old Halcyon. Given enough time, he knew he could rebuild the ancient city to some of its former glory. These rock and stone dwellings would never be as comfortable as the apartment she had left behind, but they were far better than Hawkesmere.

They could forge a life here. The temptation to do so took his breath away. But as he gazed down into her beloved face, he knew her love for him would not survive such selfishness. Giving her one last, lingering kiss, he pushed to his feet and began to dress.

Suddenly subdued, Rhoswen followed suit. Her movements were jerky—angry even. For a moment he did not know why, but then he realized he had been so caught up in his mental anguish he had not reciprocated her last statement. More importantly, he had not responded to the one she had made last night in the heat of the moment.