Guys and Trolls (3 page)

Einarr needed to rethink his priorities. There was really no need to rush to get off the ship. Especially now that he'd discovered so many like-minded men.
Humans
, he had to remind himself.
And I'm a troll
. Still, in the dark, he might find companionship. Or if they were drunk enough like the man last night. He could not hold out hope for someone as near perfect as Gus, but he could dream.

“What is this performance everyone keeps talking about?”

“Oh my god, I'd totally forgotten about it. You should have left me to drown.”

Einarr wanted for all the world to put his arm around the young man to comfort him but he could not stand the thought of Gus's look of revulsion, no matter how platonic the gesture, although Einarr couldn't guarantee it would be all that platonic. If his cock hardened it would reveal his ulterior motive. Best to leave it alone.

“What is this act everyone is so keen on?” Einarr repeated, wishing he had clothes to cover his naked body, although the manner in which Gus gazed at it when he thought Einarr was not looking, warmed his blood.

Gus went to the locker and extracted a giant cardboard cut-out. “Take a seat and let me explain. Try not to judge me too harshly. I was desperate. Okay?”

Einarr nodded. He would never judge him harshly.

Gus took a deep breath. “Robert and I were having problems in our relationship. He was restless and, I guess, a bit bored. I suppose I'm not the easiest person to put up with.”

I bet I could put up with you
, Einarr thought.

“Things came to a head when Robert wanted to go on a boat cruise. I wanted to go to England to see the sights. Well, Robert jumped at that impasse and suggested we take separate holidays. I was a bit suspicious because he looked so pleased with himself, like he'd found a solution to an insurmountable problem. Instead of talking it through, I went off in a huff. A few days later, after I calmed down, I apologized and told him I'd go on the cruise with him after all. He just shrugged and said, ‘Too late, it's all booked out.’ And it was. What he hadn't told me was that he was going on a gay cruise and he was sharing a cabin with Chuck, one of the guys he worked with and one of the most promiscuous men I've met. I often suspected he and Robert were...doing it.”

“So, if it was booked out how did you get on board?”

“I toyed with the idea of stowing away but didn't like my chances. When I discovered the company promoting the holiday was looking for entertainers who would get free passage plus wages, I thought that was my opportunity. I sent them a photograph I found on the net telling them I was a hot stripper who dressed like a Viking and that I loved gay audiences and was willing to put on a show so sizzling it would be talked about for years to come.”

Einarr laughed. “And you got picked?”

“I never expected they would fall for it, even though I'd made up a few fake gigs and counterfeit reviews of his performance, usually from places it would be difficult to check up on. But it was the pic I'd sent, after I got through with Photoshopping it, that got their interest. So much so that they wanted to make me the centerpiece of the entertainment. All they'd got was a few pianists and singers whose repertoire consisted entirely of Sondheim show tunes, or acrobats, or magic shows. Mine was the best of the lot. Naturally enough they wanted to meet the stripper. Look at me. Do I look like a hot stripper to you?”

Hot? Definitely!
Einarr was having trouble controlling his prick and covered it with the sheet from the bed.

Gus didn't wait for an answer. The question was rhetorical. “I went along to the interview as the stripper's manager, telling them he had been called back to Iceland for a death in the family. I took along a few more pictures, supposedly of my Viking, and they bought it. They must have been desperate. In due course, the tickets and the itinerary arrived and I boarded the ship as the Viking Stripper.”

Einarr still didn't grasp the problem. He would pay any day to watch Gus take his clothes off.

Reluctantly, Gus turned around the cardboard cut-out to which he'd been clinging. Einarr gasped. He could see the problem immediately. The stripper looked nothing at all like Gus.

“Yeah,” Einarr winced. “He's one ugly fucker. Who would want to watch someone who looked like that?”

Gus was startled. “What?” He looked at his cardboard poster boy again. “Ugly? This guy is fuckin’ gorgeous. He could almost be you.”

Whoa
, Einarr thought.
Way to insult a person. Comparing me to that fugly oaf
, although he did have to admit they did share a basic look. The body was very similar, although Einarr liked to think his was in better shape. The face was basically hidden by a Viking helmet but enough showed that, yeah, he had to admit a few striking similarities.

Gus's eyes shone suddenly. “Stand up. Come on, stand up! Now. Quickly,” Gus yanked him off the bed, ignoring his semi-hard cock. “Turn around, that's it. Let me see the back of you. Nice. Very nice. Now back to the front. Let me see you dance.”

“Dance? Who with?”

“On your own. Quickly.”

Einarr had never danced, on his own or with a partner. Gus was impatient and began to jiggle about to get him to copy the action. He imitated it but from the grimace on Gus's face, he was not succeeding.

Gus stared open-mouthed. “You said you were gay. But you can't dance.”

Einarr was about to retort that he didn't know you had to sit an exam to prove you were gay, when the door burst open and two rather cute men tumbled in. One went straight to Gus and hugged him theatrically. “Oh, my poor love, I heard the news. I hope you've recovered. That anyone would try to end their life because of me. How tragic. How absolutely flattering.”

Robert! Einarr didn't have to be told. So that meant the man ogling him and licking his lips had to be the slut from Robert's office.

He didn't know what made him say it, but Einarr stepped forward and removed Robert's arm from Gus's shoulder. “Don't flatter yourself, mate. The rumor going around the ship is totally untrue.” He stood between Gus and his former boyfriend. “We spread that to avoid having to tell them the truth which was infinitely more embarrassing.” Gus looked at him as if he regretted losing the intimacy of Robert's arm.

Robert looked the giant up and down, noticing his nudity and doing a double take about the level of his engorged penis. He sniffed like he didn't believe him. “Okay, so what's the real story then?”

Einarr had created a fiction in his mind as soon as he'd summed up the situation. He placed a protective arm around Gus who flinched initially at the touch but, finding it to his liking, moved against the giant's body. “I hope Gus will forgive me for telling tales but he and I were rather frisky last night and I wanted to do him against the ship's railing. I'm so tall he had to stand on one of the upper rails so I could shove my cock in.” Einarr stroked his meat as if to emphasize the point, then turned to Gus. “Didn't I, love?”

Gus was too staggered to speak, nodding his head in agreement.

“I guess I got carried away. I'm a big fucker—”

“Hmm, you certainly are,” Chuck said admiringly. Einarr could sense he desperately wanted to reach out and caress one of his most salient bignesses.

“I can get a little rough. What can I say? I fucked him, pushed too hard and poor Gus pitched over the side. I had to go in and rescue the little bugger. So, if you hear that rumor about suicide you might like to set the record straight, you know, among friends.”

Einarr gazed down at Gus's mouth, open in sheer amazement at what he'd just heard, when the giant leaned down and covered his lips with his own. Gus melted into the kiss, allowing Einarr's tongue access before they parried back and forth between open inviting mouths. Gus felt his cock swell to match the hardness of Einarr's cock that was pressed against his body. Chuck gasped.

Robert was jealous. Everyone could hear it in his voice, even himself although he'd tried to keep it out. “Well, now that you're here, I guess you can come and stay with me in my cabin. We can make room, can't we Chuck?”

“Or I could swap and move in here,” Chuck said hopefully.

Einarr could tell that Gus was seriously contemplating the offer. He had to squelch that but fast!

“That's very generous of you, Robert, but you see Gus is my manager and we have lots to rehearse for my act, I'm the Viking Stripper, so it's paramount that we share the same cabin.” Robert's mouth opened like a goldfish, but Einarr carried on. “Besides, why would I let my boyfriend share a room with anyone else without my say so.”

“Boyfriend?” Gus thought the word, but Robert said it out loud. “Since when?”

Einarr turned to Gus. “What's it been, love? A couple of months? Three or four? I met Gus at a gay strip club and we hit it off real good. But he was faithful to you and wouldn't hear of sleeping with me. Then you started neglecting him and spending more time with Chuck here, oh yes, Robert, no point denying it, he knew even though you covered your tracks well enough, so when I asked him one more time he said ‘yes'. When you proposed going away on a cruise with Chuck, good choice of a cruise partner by the way, you two should have the best time with all the booze, party drugs and easy sex, Gus knew it was all over and moved his belongings in with me.”

Robert spluttered, ready to explode but Einarr put his hand on his back and pushed him toward the cabin door, wishing them both the best for the voyage and telling them he hoped he'd see them at one of his strip nights, even going so far as to offer them front row seats. As he closed the door on them, Chuck called, “If you change your mind about a cabin swap, let me know.”

Gus stood transfixed, his mouth gaping, then his eyes crinkled and he began to giggle. Einarr had held his breath in case he'd insulted his new friend but when the laughter burst forth he knew he had done the right thing. Gus fell on the bed guffawing like he hadn't managed since his relationship had gone stale. Yes, he had been about to give in and swallow his pride and go back to Robert, but Einarr had shown him up for the shallow shit he was. Okay, he was all alone again, but he had his life back, his perspective. And, okay, he didn't have the body or the looks or the sexual adventurism that his ex-boy friend had but, hell, he was a good person.

He just wished Einarr's act to save him from making a silly mistake with Robert, hadn't been a fabrication. No matter, he would find someone. Problem was he liked muscles on a man, a tan on a man, a big dick on a man, while having none of those attributes of his own. Plus his hair was red. But, hell, he had a good personality. It was unfortunate the men he liked didn't stick their dicks in a personality.

Einarr stood watching as Gus laughed a little too hysterically. He was releasing his frustrations, his anger and his hurt so Einarr let him go on until he slowed, then choked and coughed a little, drawing in gulps of air. He sat up and patted the bed beside him inviting Einarr to join him.

“I hope I didn't say anything to upset you,” Einarr looked at the floor.

“I loved what you said,” Gus was bobbing about excitedly. “All of it. Including me being your manager.”

“What about the part...” Einarr was about to ask about the boyfriend bit but shut his mouth in the face of Gus's enthusiasm to talk.

“Do you have a manager?”

“For what?”

“You could make a fortune with a dick like that.” To reinforce what he'd said and because he thought he could get away with it, Gus squeezed the appendage which he felt hardening rapidly under his manipulation. Einarr couldn't help it, he moaned a little trying to cut it off before it escaped totally. Gus misinterpreted the sound as something else entirely and let go of the cock he wanted to fondle so badly. They both ended up frustrated.

“First thing we've got to do is get you some clothes.”

“That would be really good,” Einarr agreed.

“Then some breakfast. Then we'll get to work on putting an act together for you. I know why you couldn't dance before, it's because there was no music.” Gus was running away with ideas and Einarr let him babble, scarcely listening. He just knew he wanted to be in this man's company. He felt good when he was with him. Not entirely convinced about whether he could make a success as a party stripper, he realized it didn't matter how ugly his face was, it was his cock that they were interested in seeing. Humans were just like trolls in that respect.

Einarr daydreamed while Gus scrounged through his suitcase.

“Try it on, it may fit.”

There was no way anything of his would fit Einarr.

Gus reddened. “It belonged to Robert.”

Einarr stood and stepped into the sweatpants. They stretched but not enough. Gus grabbed a pair of scissors from his bag and began to hack at the legs, just above Einarr's knees.

“That's better,” he said when he stood back to look at his handiwork. “A bit obscene but that won't matter for the moment. It's good advertising.”

Einarr was not so sure. The fabric was squeezing his balls and the rub against his cock was exciting him more than it should have. Not to mention it hugged his butt crack uncomfortably so that he kept tugging at it. Gus slapped his hand away.

“I can't go out like this,” Einarr complained.

“It's either that or naked if you want breakfast. Take your pick.”

“Can't we order in?”

“And miss out on all the wonderful gossip plus word of mouth once they get an eyeful of you?”

In the end, he followed Gus, walking awkwardly because he kept his hands cupped in front of his crotch to avoid embarrassment lest anyone see him but after a few wolf whistles and some unsuccessful attempts at groping he relaxed into his new found popularity, making the most of it while it lasted. Few of the men looked at his face, their eyes going directly to his package. What did he care? Actually, he cared a lot. But if he couldn't have love, he'd settle for sex.

In the restaurant where they served breakfast, Einarr was not particularly under-dressed as many of the available men had taken the opportunity to advertise their wares. They all paled into insignificance as soon as the Icelandic stud appeared. Conversation stopped, whispering began as all eyes turned to watch the two men, or rather Einarr, as they made their way to the buffet. Gus had to restrain Einarr from piling his plate so high with food that he would have been unable to carry it, telling him he could go back as many times as he wanted.