Gus (41 page)

Paxton nods before he lets go of Gus.

And now Gus's eyes are on me and he's wearing the smile that he only wears for me. "How's Minnesota treating you, sweetheart?"

I practically curl up into his arms. "Hot. Sticky."

He interrupts me. "Is that a come-on? It's working."

"It's actually pretty wonderful here. Lots of nice people."

He hugs me tight. "You just wait. More nice people to come. Today's gonna be epic."

Keller's next in line for Gus. And when they hug each other it's not your average guy hug. They hold on. It's the kind of hug that's more like a conversation, words passed back and forth, an understanding between two people who share a common bond. And when that bond is love, it makes it even more powerful.
 

"Traveling in style, I see," Keller says pointing at the bus.

"No complaints, dude. Except that the bunk across the aisle is a little too empty." He looks at me and winks.

"I'm glad you're here. It's good to see you. You guys need anything before we go eat? You need a shower or some coffee? We can stop by my place on the way."

Gus smells his pits. "Nah, fresh as a daisy, dude. Let's go eat. I'm starving."

The band and Paxton ride with Duncan, because the allure of the beanbags is too strong to be ignored. You haven't lived until you've witnessed four grown men absolutely giddy about riding in the back of a moving vehicle on beanbags. I took video. It could go viral.
 

Jim, Gus, and I ride with Keller and Stella. Gus seems pretty at ease around Jim, which is a nice change from last summer when just being in the same room with both of them at the same time was difficult. Back then, their dislike for each other was so evident it was almost unbearable. I think they've both changed. Jim catches me up on everything that's going on with Jane. When I talk to her these days she doesn't want to talk about her recovery, and I don't pry, so it's nice to get the details I've been worrying about. She's doing better, thanks to intensive therapy and counseling. It gives my heart some peace where she's concerned.

We end up at a bar called Red Lion Road. Keller bartends here on Friday nights so he knows everyone and they already have several tables put together for us in the back.

After the pizza, pitchers of beer, and sodas for me, Paxton, and Stella are ordered, everyone settles into easy conversation.
 

And then, over the next several hours, the group grows.

The first to join us is a tall woman about my age. When she walks through the door I can't take my eyes off her. She's striking with her black hair, dark eyes, and curvy body, but she's got this presence about her. It's the first thing you notice. It's almost intimidating, like you know you'd better give this woman respect. It's just the way she carries herself.
 

Duncan stands and meets her before she gets to the table. He kisses her. And when he does she smiles and everything about her softens. This must be his fiancée, Shelly.

Before she takes a seat next to Duncan at the other end of table, she waves. "Hey, everyone." Her voice is low and raspy, and it suits her perfectly.

Gus raises his beer in greeting. "Shelly! Drink up, girl. I've got money on you tonight. Distance. It's
all
about distance."

Her cheeks flame red. "Hey, Gus. I'm limiting the booze intake tonight to manageable levels, dude."

"Well hell. You're no fun anymore. I thought shit was about to get real," he teases.

She smirks. "Oh, I didn't say I wasn't gonna have fun. I'm just gonna have fun that doesn't involve projectile vomiting in the parking lot at the end of the night."
 

Gus pushes his chair back and holds his beer up. "I'd like to make a toast. Rumor has it a wedding is in the near future. Congrats to Duncan and Shelly."

Everyone raises their glasses and joins in with their congratulations.

Shelly keeps her glass raised. "And congratulations to Rook on the new album. It's freaking sick. You outdid yourselves. Can't wait for the show tonight." She's a fan, that wasn't put on. I like this girl.

And before there's time to make an introduction, two more pairs join us. A small, adorable guy in a quirky outfit and a tall, dark, well-dressed man walk in holding hands. Despite their obvious differences—they look like exact opposites—they work together. They fit together. It makes me smile because they look so comfortable with each other. With them are a conservative looking younger guy and his slightly meek looking girlfriend. They're just normal. Not that normal's a bad thing at all. But in the group of characters I'm surrounded by at the moment, normal stands out. They're both very quiet, but friendly. Introductions are made. Clayton and Morris flew in from L.A. for the show. And Peter and Evelyn go to school here at the college Keller goes to. I learn that Clayton and Peter were roommates and lived across the hall from Kate in the dorms. And Shelly worked with Kate at a flower shop.

And then the stories begin. This day is all about Kate and her memory. Everyone at the table, with the exception of me, Paxton, and Jim, knew her and loved her. It's heartwarming to listen to their stories and amazing to think that some of them only knew her for a few short months, especially Keller. The friendships were deep and meaningful and the love was so real. The laughter is genuine and constant, and the smiles only grow as each person shares their memories. There's no sadness here; it's all positive, all pure joy. She touched so many people.

Time flies and when Jim reluctantly announces that it's four o'clock and time for soundcheck, I'm shocked. He doesn't want to break up the fun everyone is having, I can tell he feels a little bad about it, but it needs to be done. They need to get to work.

Keller lets me, Gus, and the band take his car to the auditorium. Paxton and Jim stay behind to talk. I'm glad, it needs to happen. It's long overdue.

As I sit through soundcheck, I'm regretting the fact that I didn't take advantage of this last summer when I was on tour with them. Now it feels like a missed opportunity.
 

I don't miss opportunities anymore. Ever. Life is about living every moment. Doing what I want and need to do. No more hiding. No more hesitation.
Just living
.

Gus stops in the middle of a song to answer his phone, which is strange. He talks for only a few seconds and then calls out to me through the microphone. "Scout, there's a VIP at the front door. Can you go ask someone to let him in?"

I nod and jump down from the railing I'm sitting on.

When I get to the front doors and get an employee to unlock it, I find Gustov standing on the other side with a violin case in one hand and a small travel bag in the other.

He sets them down and wraps me in a hug. "Scout. So good to see you again, young lady."

"Hi, Gustov. I didn't know you were coming."

He chuckles. "Well, it was all a bit last minute, but I couldn't say no, now could I? It's going to be a special night."

(Gus)

Seeing Gustov walk up to the stage with his violin case in hand chokes me up a little. Not with sadness, but with the happiness you feel in your chest when you see an old friend. All I can say is, "Thanks for coming, maestro."

He nods his head. "I'm honored, my boy. It's been a long time coming, the two of us playing together. I'll do my best to do her memory proud."

I called Gustov last week and asked him if he'd come to Grant and play violin with us on "Missing You" and "Finish Me." He agreed without hesitation, even though it meant missing a performance tonight in Boston.
 

He's never played with us before, so we don't waste any time running through both songs a few times. The guy never ceases to amaze me with his playing, he's flawless. I'm humbled to be standing here playing with him.

We're set to go on in five minutes. And I'm nervous. For the first time all tour, I'm nervous. This is a big night. This is by far the smallest crowd we'll play to, only about five hundred people, but they're all amped. It's going to be fun. I'm in the shadows just off stage watching the crowd, mainly looking for Scout. She's standing in the front row with her
I make Gus moist
T-shirt on next to Paxton and surrounded by Keller and all of Bright Side's friends. She hasn't stopped smiling all day. She always smiles these days, which I love. But her smile today is different. She knows how important this is to me and she wants to share it with me. There's not a jealous bone in her body. She knows how much I loved Bright Side, but she also knows that doesn't take away from the love I feel for her. My heart's big enough for both of them. Bright Side helped make me the man I am, and Scout helped me remember who that man was, helping me become my own person. I love her so much.

Someone rests their hand on my shoulder. "You okay, big man?" It's Franco.

I nod. "I'm good, dude.
I'm so good
."

He sees me looking at Scout. "It's not fair, you know?"

I turn and look at him. "What's not fair?"

He gestures with his chin to Scout. "That a dipshit like you gets all the badass chicks."

I can't help but laugh. "I know, right? I'm one lucky dipshit."

And then he's serious. "You're not a dipshit, Gus. You're my best friend and the best person I know. Badasses attract badasses. You're kinda perfect for each other."

We're interrupted by Jim; I've stopped calling him Hitler now that he's stopped acting like a first-class douche. He's got a lot of shit on his plate and he's trying to do better and I'm trying to support that. "You've got less than a minute before you go on," he says. "Have a great show, guys."

I take my guitar from Slim, one of our roadies. He's wearing a
Gus makes me moist
T-shirt. I think Franco pays him to do it just to embarrass me. "Go show 'em how it's done, Gus." He says it before every show. I like hearing it.

"I'll do my best, dude." It's the same response I give him every time. And I mean it.
Every time
. "Let's do this," I call out to the rest of the band. And we take the stage.

The crowd is raging already. Pumped up from the opening band and ready to party.

As the stage lights come up, the cheers erupt. I scan the front row and see all of the familiar faces lined up and I feel like they've all got my back. When I get to Scout, I wink. And then I address the masses. "What's up, Grant?!" They cheer louder if that's even possible. "It's good to be back. It's been a while. What do you say we make up for lost time and have some fun tonight?"

We lead in with "Redemption." The crowd's into it. They know the song. They're singing along with me. What a great way to kick off the night.

And for the next two hours, we play. Normally our set is about half that length, but tonight's special and we're playing everything we've got, including a few covers that Bright Side loved.
 

We saved Gustov for the finale. I motion for the crowd to quiet down. "How many of you were here with us the last time we played this auditorium?" The cheers tell me over half of them. "Well, if you were, you had the privilege of seeing my best friend perform with us. Kate Sedgwick was an unbelievably talented woman. She could sing her ass off and she played violin like nobody I've ever seen. We lost her a year and half ago. Cancer. Which really fucking sucks. I know she's here tonight with us in spirit. She's watching and listening, so I just want to say, we miss you every day, Bright Side. And tonight? This was all for you. All about you. Someone very special flew a very long way this afternoon to play with us on these next two songs. Maestro, come on out."

Gustov walks on from the left side of the stage and takes a seat on the edge of the chair that's been set up for him behind a microphone. He looks composed and professional as always. When he's comfortable, he nods at me and smiles. This feels so right. I'm so glad he's here.

I point at Gustov. "This dude is way out of our league, but we're gonna do our best to keep up with him." I look up. "Bright Side, these are for you. Love you."

The intro to "Finish Me" is all Gustov. It fills the entire stage with an eerie, sorrowful melody. It drives me. I feel like I'm back in the studio with Bright Side when we recorded this song—minus the anguish. I've got my big boy pants on and playing and singing the lyrics are like an out-of-body experience. Inspiration like this is so rare; I give in to it and turn myself over to the music. The song transitions into "Missing You," and Gustov is on fire. He's making that instrument sing with me. It's incredible and draws all of the emotion out of me until I'm happily, and willingly, bleeding out on this stage. When his violin falls silent, and the song is over, I need to take a few deep breaths, both to balance the adrenaline coursing through me and slow my heart rate. He nods first to me and then to the audience. "Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this. Kate was a very special young lady. I hope I did her justice." With that he stands and bows, and the crowd roars.

"Wow." I had to say that out loud, because I'm blown away. The last seven minutes of my life is something I'll never forget. I shake my head to clear it. "Let's give it up again for the motherfucking genius." Gustov bows again and walks offstage. I look back at Franco. I'm still stunned, lost in the dream-like state this performance has taken on. "Did that seriously just happen?"

Franco looks as in awe as I feel. He nods slowly and that gives way to full-on belly laughter and I can't help but join him. You know how sometimes something happens and it's so much more than you ever expected? The type of so much more that leaves you speechless and thinking
what the hell just happened?
And all you can do is laugh because you're so astounded you don't know what else to do? That is exactly what's happening. And I'm glad Franco's in this with me; otherwise I would think I finally lost my mind.

When I stop laughing, I turn back to the audience. "We've got one more song," I say. "We're gonna kill the sun. I need help. I want you all to be as loud as you can and sing with me. Seriously, I want to wake neighboring states. That kind of fucking loud." I look down at Pax and smile. "This one's for you, Pax."