Guilty Pleasures (49 page)

She swallowed over the knot in her throat and slowly nodded her head.

Jake rose and stepped up to her. “When you get fat and ugly, I'll still think about lovin' you.” He grinned, and she gave him a tap in the ribs. He moved closer. “When you get old and gray, I'll still love every inch of you.” He cupped her cheek in his palm. “This is not about the baby. It's about me and stuff I haven't been able to let go, stuff I believed I would pass on to any kid of mine, and I never wanted to take that chance.”

She looked up into his eyes. “What do you mean
”

He took her hand. “Come 'ere, let's sit down and really talk.”

They sat side by side on the bed, and Jake poured out his heart, set his fears and his faults at her feet, and hoped that she wouldn't crush them.

“My father was a beast of a man: cold, brutal, and distant. He thought beating your ass on a regular basis was good parenting. Said it would make me and my brother men.” He laughed harshly and shook his head. “And my mother after taking her own beatings would tell me, ‘You're just like your father.'”

Eva listened, seeing a part of her husband she'd never known. Sure, she understood that he'd had a hard life. They both had. And each of them had found ways to deal with those internal scars. But what she did not know, until now, was how deeply Jake was scarred. His wounds were so deep and emotionally debilitating that it left him unable to separate himself from the man who abused him.

“… and it scares me … that I might be just like him.”

Dark shadows moved across his eyes as he stared off into a past that was never completely behind him.

Eva took his hand. “Look at me.”

Slowly he raised his gaze and looked into her eyes.

“Fuck him,” she said simply.

A flicker of confusion then mild amusement skipped across Jake's features. It would take Eva to break it down to the bare basics.

He snapped his fingers. “Just like that, huh
”

“Yeah.” She popped her fingers too. “Just like that.” She leaned in. “Your father was a bastard, and I'm sure he's rotting in hell, but you survived it. You may not be a model citizen, but you survived. That has to mean something.”

“Are you sure you're ready for this
Our lives will be changed forever.”

Eva smiled. “I have no idea, but I want to try.”

“I guess if we can get away with the stuff we've pulled over the years, raising a kid should be a piece of cake.”

She pulled the towel from her head then the one wrapped around her body. “I hear that pregnant women have the best orgasms.”

“Is that right
” he murmured, leaning close to nibble at her ear.

She sighed. “So I hear.”

“Why don't we check it out for ourselves
Just to be sure.”

“Yeah,” she purred as his mouth teased a nipple. “Why don't we
”

*   *   *

Eva and Jake lay curled in bed together, simmering from the afterglow. Jake tenderly stroked her spine, feeling her warm breath brush against his chest.

Eva had stood by him at every turn, even when she disagreed. The more he thought it out, the more he realized that the only way to let go of the past was to take a step into the future. That's what he intended to do.

He was going to get them out of this mess and start over, start fresh. He smiled as Eva nestled closer. They would certainly have some stories to tell their kid when it grew up. But who would ever believe them

*   *   *

Eva walked around the compact cabin while Jake outlined the updated plan. She nodded in agreement as she paced.

“I think you need to stay as low-key as possible with Traci wandering around,” Jake added once he'd finished with the scenario.

Eva twisted toward him. “I need to be there. Part of this whole plan was my idea too. I'm not going to let that … woman interfere. I'll just deal with her.”

“Do you think she may have called Sebastian
”

“It crossed my mind,” she said, a furrow of concern inching across her brow. “But she and Sebastian didn't part on the best of terms. She'd really have to come up with a doozy of a reason to call him.”

“What if she does
”

She twisted her lips in thought. “I'll think of something.”

A cell phone rang. They both went for their phones. It was Eva's.

She looked across at Jake, her eyes wide with alarm. “Sebastian,” she mouthed.

“Sooner's come rather than later.”

Eva pressed the
XW
icon on the phone.

“Hello
”