Guilty as Sin (48 page)

That he loved her, and she loved him. That was all that should matter.

Logically, he knew it could never be that simple. But that didn’t stop him from picking up his phone and dialing her number before he could stop himself. Didn’t stop the hope from flickering in his gut that she’d pick up, give him an opening.

With each ring that went unanswered that flicker faded, until his call went to voicemail and snuffed it out completely.

He didn’t bother to leave a message.

Idiot.
Tommy turned back to the screen. But it was impossible for him to concentrate as his brain crowded with memories of working with Kate sitting across the office. Staring at her over his breakfast table just that morning, the taste of her still fresh on his lips.

He told himself not to go there but it was too late. He was buffeted by visions of her in his bed, naked against him, clutching him to her as her body pulsed around him, moaning his name as she came. Then later, the whispers in the dark. Promises to each other about a future smashed to smithereens by one nosy reporter and his careless slip of the tongue.

He paced around his office, edgy and restless like his skin had somehow shrunk a size. For the first time since he moved in, his house didn’t feel like a sanctuary. In the brief time she’d spent here, Kate had managed to mark it with her presence. To the point where every time Tommy turned around, he felt a stab of disappointment that she wasn’t there.

He was being an idiot, he knew.
You need to stop acting like a sappy loser and get the fuck back to work
, he scolded himself.

An hour later when he hadn’t made any more progress, he knew it was a lost cause. Deciding a change of venue was in order, he drove back to the sheriff’s headquarters. Stone-faced, he pushed through the handful of reporters out front who perked up when they recognized the male half of Kate’s latest sex scandal and joined CJ in his office without waiting for an invite.

“I’m working through the bank records for Tavers International,” Tommy said when CJ greeted his entry with a
questioning look. “Figure this way I can tell you right away if I hit on anything,” he added lamely. But he sure as shit wasn’t going to tell CJ that he couldn’t stand to be in his own house after what had happened.

But CJ probably figured it out a couple hours later when he announced he was closing up shop to head home.

“It’s only seven thirty,” Tommy protested.

“And Travis’s babysitter has to leave by seven forty-five, which gives me just enough time,” CJ said, settling his hat on his head as he rose. “You’ll call me as soon as you come across anything?”

“Of course,” Tommy said, closing his laptop, pausing a moment as he went through the options of where to go next.

Normally he’d grab a table in the corner at his favorite dive and nurse a beer while he conducted his cyberhunt. But since he’d become headline news, anyplace public was out.

He didn’t even consider his parents’ place. His mom had already left half a dozen voicemails since the news broke, and he wasn’t up to spending the next several hours fending off questions about Kate.

Jackson’s house came to mind, but he immediately dismissed it. While Jackson would welcome him with open arms and be eager to learn all the details of the searches Tommy was conducting, he wouldn’t feel right imposing. Tricia had just been released from the hospital earlier that afternoon, and they needed time to be together.

As though reading his mind, CJ said, “Why don’t you join us for dinner?”

Tommy shook his head. “I couldn’t—”

“I’ll throw a couple steaks on the grill and we can compare notes.”

Feeling equal parts pathetic and grateful, Tommy aimed his truck at the bumper of CJ’s cruiser and followed the sheriff
to his home a few miles up the lakeshore to a house that was a few streets down from Jackson’s rental.

And less than a mile from the house Kate’s family had rented every summer, but he wasn’t going to dwell on that tonight.

Tommy had been to CJ’s house several times in high school and the beginning of college, when he’d run in the same crowd as CJ’s older sister, Kelly. But though he and CJ were friendly, he hadn’t been to the house since CJ moved back to town.

It looked much the same, though CJ had added a couple touches like a flat-screen that took up most of one wall in the living room.

While CJ cooked up the promised steaks, Tommy sipped a beer and made small talk with Travis, CJ’s nephew. Travis pointed interestedly at the tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of Tommy’s black T-shirt. “Were you in the Marines too?” At eleven, the kid was all dark hair and skinny limbs. Tommy imagined that when he grew up, he’d look an awful lot like his uncle.

“Marines?” Tommy scoffed, loud enough for CJ to hear. “Marines are for pu—” He caught himself just in time. “Weaklings. I was an Army Ranger.”

CJ flipped a steak and said, “Which means he came in and took the credit after we got the enemy to retreat.”

With Travis and CJ’s mom around, there wasn’t much opportunity to discuss the case. Not that they would have been able to get a word in edgewise as Travis peppered him with questions about his time in the Army, comparing it to CJ’s time in the Marines.

“He was in for a lot longer than you,” Travis said to CJ. “I think that makes him tougher than you.” There was no missing the taunting grin on the kid’s face.

“Or a lot dumber than me,” Tommy said, reaching out and rubbing his hair.

For a split second another kid, another shit-eating grin came to mind. Michael, the night he was kidnapped, torturing Kate with his presence when he knew very well she wanted to be alone with Tommy.

Tommy cleared the table while CJ negotiated TV privileges with Travis. He wandered out on the deck and braced his hands on the railing as he stared out over the water and tried not to think about what Kate was doing at that moment.

He turned at the sound of heavy footsteps and took the beer CJ offered. “You’ve got a lot on your plate here.”

CJ gave a heavy sigh. “Travis is a good kid, so he makes it easier on me…” He shook his head. “One minute I’m single, kicking ass at the Bureau, so close to my next promotion I can smell it, and the next…” He took a sip of his beer. “Amazing how fast everything can change.”

Didn’t Tommy know it. “You find anything more this afternoon?” While Tommy had been drilling his way into confidential banking information, CJ had been on the phone trying to gather more information about the Bludgeoner’s previous victims.

CJ shook his head. “It’s going to take awhile to pull the rest of the files and talk to everyone who worked the case. Hopefully someone will remember something that didn’t end up in the file.”

“What about the necklace, the connection to Michael Beckett’s murder? Maybe there’s something from that crime scene that was overlooked.”

CJ nodded. “I’ve already got calls in to the lead crime scene analyst and the medical examiner who did the autopsies.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “But since everyone
worked the scene like it was a suicide, it’s likely anything useful would have been lost in the shuffle. I just hope for Kate and her family’s sake—” CJ was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. “Speak of the devil. Hey, Kate,” he said, flashing Tommy a look.

Tommy forced himself to the other end of the deck when every cell in his body urged him to lean in so he could catch the mere sound of her voice.

“No, nothing substantial,” he heard CJ say.

His fingers curled into a fist as he fought the urge to grab the phone out of CJ’s hand.
To say what?
he sneered inwardly. To beg her to listen to him? To give them another chance?

“You want to talk to him yourself? He’s right here.”

The muscles of his chest and back pulled tight as a bow as he waited for the answer. Even knowing what it would be couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment from crashing over him when he heard CJ say, “Fine. I’ll keep you posted as soon as we hear anything.” He said goodbye and hung up.

“She okay?” Tommy couldn’t keep himself from asking.

CJ shrugged. “I’d say she’s doing all right, considering she’s discovered a potential new twist to her brother’s case, found herself starring in a media circus, and lost her job all in the space of one day.”

“She got fired from the foundation?” Tommy asked, guilt pinching at his chest. Maybe she was right. Maybe he
was
the cosmic force of doom in her life.

“Yeah—I forgot to tell you. The chairman of the board called her when I was giving her a ride home. Told her the board didn’t think it was appropriate for her to have such a public role.” CJ shook his head, his lips stretched into a mirthless smile. “Asshole had the nerve to ask her to make sure her family kept up their donations.”

Tommy winced. Once again Kate was left alone to weather the storm herself. The desire to go to her was like a physical ache. He should be there for her.

The only thing stopping him was the bitter knowledge that no matter how badly he wanted to help her, he was the last person on earth she wanted to see.

A soft voice wheedled its way through his own pain at her rejection.
Remember what she said about pushing people away? The whole time all she wanted was for someone to ignore all that and just be there for her.

He knew Kate wouldn’t exactly greet him with open arms. But the slim chance that he could push past her defenses and convince her that they could weather this storm better together than apart had him poised to heed that soft voice.

CJ’s next words stopped him cold.

“She’ll be all right, though. John is coming to get her and take her back to his place so she can get away from the reporters.”

Chump.
Tommy’s grip around his beer bottle tightened until his knuckles shone white but he schooled his face into an expressionless mask. “Nice of him.” Kate had said John was one of the few who had had her back when Michael died. Now he could sweep in and be her knight in shining armor all over again.

CJ gave a little chuckle. “I don’t know that nice has much to do with it. I guarantee he’ll be trying to get in her pants as soon as he gets her in the door.”

Tommy took a deep breath through clenched teeth.

“Not that I can blame him,” CJ continued. “She was something to look at back when we knew her, with those long legs and that mouth of hers. But now I swear she’s only gotten more beautiful—”

“Are you trying to get punched?” Tommy grabbed CJ by the front of his shirt. And immediately regretted it when he saw CJ’s smug, knowing grin. He released CJ’s shirt and gave him a shove against his chest for good measure.

“I’m just trying to get you to admit that it bothers you that she’s turning to someone else when you know she should be with you.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Tommy exploded. “You heard what she said.”

“She’d just been blindsided by the reporters. She wasn’t thinking clearly—”

Tommy held up his hand for silence. “Moments like that are when the truth comes out. Deep down Kate will never get over the fact that she was with me the night Michael was killed. Better to find that out now than before I get in too deep.”

“I think you’ve been in too deep the second Kate walked into Jackson Fuller’s place,” CJ said, his expression grave.

Tommy repressed a flinch as the truth of CJ’s words hit home. Not that there was anything he could do about it. “You know what I think? I think it’s time for us to get the fuck back to work.”

A
re you sure I’m not imposing?” Kate asked as she followed John up the stairs from the stretch of beach that abutted his property.

“Of course not. You know I have plenty of room, and now the reporters can’t get to you.”

Kate felt no small amount of relief at the thought. The past few hours at her townhouse had been torture. Unable to go anywhere because of the dozen or so reporters crowded outside of her door, Kate had been bouncing off the walls while she waited for CJ to call with news.

Of course, it didn’t help to be alone with thoughts of Tommy swirling around in her head. The taste of him on her lips, the feel of him deep inside her. The way he talked about a future together like it was a real possibility.

And then the devastation in his eyes when she lashed out.

Part of her hated herself for the way she’d acted, for her knee-jerk reaction to shove Tommy away as the press took something real and beautiful and turned it into a lurid sideshow for the world to criticize and judge.

CJ’s words rang in her ears, telling her she was being a fool for allowing her worries about the media’s portrayal of her relationship with Tommy to keep her from grabbing this second chance with him and doing everything she could to
make it work. And to hell with how that bitch Maura Walsh decided to twist it.

When Tommy called, her heart had leapt to her throat when she recognized the number. Heart pounding, she stared at the phone cradled in her hand, every cell in her body urging her to pick up. To apologize for what she said and take it all back.

But as she went to press the “answer” button, there was a sharp tap on the window next to her kitchen, and she looked up to see the shadow of a man silhouetted in the window, a video camera pointed right at her.