Guided Love (Prick #1) (12 page)

“Okay . . . I thought this was a ‘you and me’ movie night?” He once again has the look of sadness on his face.

“It was really, I wanted to just hang out with you but Roni really wanted to meet you.”

“Okay, as long as he is bringing pizza than I’ll be one happy girl.”

He started to say something but at that moment there is a knock at the door. I never saw Camaron rush to the door so quickly. Before he opens it, he looks back into the living room. “Sam, could you please go into your bedroom and put a sweat shirt on? Please, for me?” I look up and down at myself and hear another pounding to the door.

“Okay, I guess if it would make you feel more comfortable”

“It would. Please go now and get covered.”

I scoot off the couch and head to my room as I hear Roni come into the house. I look at myself in the mirror and see that I am blushing. I can’t believe he actually wants me to come and cover up. He doesn't want his friend to see all of my . . . assets. I grab some of my chap stick and apply it before I walk out into the living room. Once I hit the opening, I stop dead in my tracks. Standing next to the couch is Camaron kissing someone—a small Barbie type someone. I don't know what to do. Should I just turn around and head back into my room or should I clear my throat? I feel like an idiot just standing here so I start to turn around and the floor makes a creak, damn it!

As I am walking away, I hear Camaron from the living room. “Sam, where are you going? Come here and meet Roni.” I turn and walk back into the living room, trying my hardest to put a fake smile on my face to hide the devastation that I am feeling right now. I want to throw up, I want to break down and cry, and I want to punch Camaron in the face. I am feeling all of this bottled up into one overwhelming emotion.

“Hi, I'm Sam.” I reach out my hand to this freaking Barbie.

She giggles and looks down at my hand and shakes it as she says, “You're a girl.”

Really, wow, this one is bright; she must have been valedictorian in her graduating plastic class.

“Yeah, last time I looked I was a girl.” She gives a little giggle as she rolls her eyes at me. Really? She rolled her eyes at me.

“I'm just surprised is all. Camaron has talked a lot about his friend, Sam, but in everything he said he made it seem that . . . well, that you were a guy.”

Wow, there is a fucking kick to the gut!
I shake my head. “I have no words to that, all I can say is I'm a girl, and I have always been a girl. For as long as Cam and I have been best friends . . . I've been a girl.”

This chick actually has the freaking nerve to look up and down at me. She takes in my cotton pink pajama pants and my USC sweatshirt. “Well, I brought two large pizzas. Camaron told me that Sam—that would be you—eats a ton.”
Are you freaking kidding me?

“Well, that was so nice of you. I actually just had a little something, but thank you.”

Of course, this is when my Camaron, my best friend, decides to chime in. “What do you mean you were starving a few minutes ago asking where the pizza was.” I give him the eye and just fake the smile.

“Actually, I forgot my phone over at Axel's so I’m going to head over there and get it. I’ll be back a little later.”

Barbie looks relieved that I’m leaving, but still chimes in.
“
Axel, the guy from the shop today? There is plenty of food, as long as you don't eat it all, you could have him come over here. He seemed like a nice guy.”

I know right now I have that look of
Are you shitting me
on my face. “You were at the shop today?” Barbie or Roni, whatever the plastic’s name is, doesn’t have time to speak as Camaron answers for her.

“Yeah, I brought Roni in to meet the guys. She was there all day.”

“Well, it wasn’t that eventful, but Camaron let me sit in your office and play on the computer. I actually organized your desk for you.”

I know I have to leave and I have to leave now, because if I don't I am going to pull out her beautiful extensions as well as the nose ring she has in. “Well, it was great meeting you.”

I head to the door and am about to walk out barefoot and in my pajamas when I feel Camaron right behind me. “Sam, you okay?” I turn around and I am eye to eye with him. I know he sees it. He knows me better than anyone on this earth. He could tell by looking in my eyes that I’m crushed. “Of course, just have to run to get my phone.” My eyes start to fill with tears as I look at him and I see nothing in his eyes. No remorse, no caring, no worry. I see nothing.

“Okay, well hurry back.” I nod and shut the door.

I turn and knock on Axel’s door and wait for him to answer. Nothing. I knock a little louder this time and put my ear to the door. Still, I hear nothing. I can't knock again as Camaron might hear me out here banging on Axel’s door, see that he isn't home, and actually expect me to come back into our apartment. Yeah, that isn't going to happen, so I head down the stairs, barefoot and in my pajamas. I walk outside—it’s around 11, so I walk on my tiptoes trying to avoid any of the garbage on the sidewalk to see if any of the lights are on in the shop. I am mentally praying that someone, anyone, is working late so that I can stay in my office and cry. Yet, it’s just my luck, the shop is closed—everything is locked up and all the lights are off. So, I again, tip toe back to my front stoop and have a seat. I know that I am going to have to soak these pajamas or just throw them away as the dirt from the stoop is going to ruin them, especially because there is mud from the rain we had this afternoon. It’s a small price to pay, because there is no way I am going to head back up there. I sit and watch the world pass me by. Even at 11 at night, the road is busy. People are walking and grabbing cabs to get to their destinations. I must have been sitting on the stoop for more than an hour when I see a dark figure approaching.

“Hey, gorgeous, why are you out here sitting on the stoop?” Axel asks.

“Just needed some air.”

He gets a look of concern on his face and he knows something is wrong. How does he know me so well?

“Do you want to come up and talk about it or are you going to make me sit on the muddy stoop too?” He nudges my leg with his, takes my hand, and helps me up. “Come on, Samantha, let’s go.” He leads me up the stairs to our apartments and pulls out his key with his other hand. He hasn’t dropped my hand that he is holding and, honestly, I’m not complaining.

As he opens his door, Camaron opens ours. “Everything okay? Sam, are you coming back yet?” I look at Camaron and I know he can read my face, I know he sees how this is affecting me and he is going to stand there and ask me if I am coming home yet? Seriously?

Before I can say anything, Axel raises our joined hands and says, “I've got this,” and leads me into his apartment.

I know I really should have said something, corrected him in some way, but I couldn't for a split second secretly hoping that Camaron was feeling a little bit of sadness just like me.

“I'm sorry, Axel, I just needed some air and I was hoping I could get my phone, I think I left it here.” Axel hangs his coat on the coat rack next to the door in the corner and heads over toward me.

Without a word, he takes my hand and walks me to the kitchen. Still not talking, he pulls out a chair and motions for me to sit. I do and just look down. A few seconds later, he is pouring a shot of something in a shot glass. He pushes it in my direction and I look up to see him pouring one for himself. My body is screaming NO while my head is replaying everything that happened tonight. From the conversation with Camaron in the tub, to him telling me I look good, to him having his arms wrapped around a Barbie and kissing her with passion. Like he couldn’t get enough of her.

“To forgetting,” I look up, take my shot, and toast with Axel.

“To forgetting.”

I am hoping that Axel will continue to pour us some more but after the one, he takes the glasses and puts them in the sink. Again, without a word, he heads to his drawer, pulls out two spoons, grabs the ice cream from the freezer, and motions with his head, “Movie time.”

I look up again and follow him towards the couch. He sets the ice cream and spoons on the coffee table and heads down the hall. Before I sit down and get his couch all muddy, I kneel on the floor and sit on my legs. I look up to see Axel walking toward me holding a pair of jogging pants.

“For you.”

Tears come to my eyes because, right now, this simple gesture means so much to me. “Thank you,” I whisper.

Without thinking, I stand up and take off my dirty pajama bottoms and start to put Axel’s sweats on. It’s not like I'm going commando and it’s not like Axel would ever look at me like that anyway. I also know that if I go into a room by myself, I’ll end up crying my eyes out on the floor. I sit down on the couch, cross my legs, and wait to see what we are going to watch.

“Comedy or horror,” Axel hasn’t said more than two words at a time to me.

I honestly can say he is treading in deep water and he knows it. He is trying to get the basics out of me and not push me to my breaking point. This is another moment that I want to just cry, because this man, that I have known for four months, only four months, gets me. He knows what I am feeling and he knows how to handle me. He is giving me space. He is giving me the escape I need.

“Horror, please.” He nods and goes to the shelf that is holding all of his DVDs and looks through them.

“Bloody okay?”

With a mouthful of chocolate peanut butter I say, “The bloodier the better.” He nods like he gets it.

We end up watching
The Hills Have Eyes Two
and, yes, there was tons of blood. I feel myself starting to doze off. I snuggle down in my corner of the couch and I feel Axel put a blanket across me. As he is up getting himself a cover, I hear a knock at the door. I don't open my eyes because, honestly, I don’t care. I hear the door open and Camaron’s voice.

“Where is she?”

“Sleeping.”

Camaron’s voice takes a different octave now he is a little annoyed with Axel's answer. “Where is she sleeping, she better not be sleeping in your bed Axel.”

Axel gives a little laugh, I can hear him and he is egging Camaron on. “What does it matter to you if she is in my bed? Last I knew, you already had someone warming your bed and it wasn’t Samantha.”

Camaron is pissed now I can hear it in his voice. “It’s Sam, Axel, her fucking name is Sam. Not Samantha, just Sam, and she is my best friend. I don’t want her to get hurt by sleeping in some prick’s bed.” I squeeze my eyes a little tighter and mentally tell myself to just lie there not get up and face him.

“Oh, so if she sleeps with me, I would be the one to hurt her. It wouldn’t be the fact that her best friend, the selfish prick himself, had her move here to live with him, all the while knowing she was in love with you. You knew that Samantha has wanted to be with you and you still gave her hope when there was no hope to give.”

“Fuck you, Axel, you don’t know shit about me and Sam.”

Again, I can hear Camaron and the emotion in his voice but I also hear Axel laughing at him.

“Yeah, fucker, I don't know shit. All I do know is that when I got home, I found your best friend, my friend, sitting her gorgeous ass out on the front stoop in her pajamas, barefoot. I know that, without saying a word, I could look at her and see something crushed her tonight: you. I also could tell you that I am staring at a man who is so fucking stupid that he is going to lose the best thing life has ever given him. You are going to lose her, Camaron. You are going to break a friendship that should be strong enough to weather the storm and you are going to piss it away. That, my friend, is all I know.” I am not too sure what Camaron said in response because it was mumbled, but I can say that he slammed the door to our apartment and Axel shut his and again let out a little chuckle.

I wake up from the worse nightmare that I have ever had, then I open my eyes and realize that it wasn’t a nightmare, it really happened. I look at the clock on the wall and see that is only 7:20. I sit up, stretch, and see that Axel is on the other end of the couch. I know I won’t be able to ignore Camaron forever. I mean, I not only work for him, I also freaking live with him. I fold the blanket and head to the kitchen to see if I could find something I can write on to leave a note for Axel. I find a small tablet and a marker in the drawer.