Guardian of the Earth House (30 page)

Cross looked over at Job.  “Nia’s got a point.  Tessie is definitely
making your life more interesting.”

Job’s mouth curved.  He realized that he didn’t mind the Phazing energy’s bad timing, at all.  It was a gift that he was never going to take for granted.  He kissed the top of his Match’s head.  “Tessie
is
my life.”

The quintessence (that some men it call)

Was taken out of the Chaos before the four elements all.

Simon Forman- “Of the Division of Chaos”

“Holy Gaia.”  Cross’ face reflected something close to horror.  “That is the stupidest looking house I’ve ever seen.”

Tessie snorted at that assessment and yanked open the white picket gate to Kay’s gingerbread cottage.  “I know.  And people are always saying I have bad taste, right?”  Her sister was secure enough in her own superpowers that she didn’t even have a lock on the gate.  “Kay’s always been a basket case.”

Cross actually shuddered as he took in the Minnie Mouse’s Bordello paint scheme.  “What a fucking nightmare.”

“Let’s just find the Tablet and get out of here.”  Job muttered.  “Cross, will you be okay keeping watch?”

Nia had been pretty vocal about the havoc she’d wreak if anything happened to Cross on this little adventure.  The only reason the Shadow Queen wasn’t tagging along to supervise her Match was because she saw this raid as some kind of heartwarming uncle/nephew bonding experience.  So did Job and Cross, if their constant surprised-and-pleased sideways looks at each other were any indication.

“I think I can manage it, yeah.”  Cross stayed hidden by the Shadows, but he released his hold on Job and Tessie.  “How long will this take?”

“If we’re not back in fifteen minutes… come save us.”  Tessie instructed, striding up the front walk.

Job sent his invisible nephew a stern, “don’t get killed while I’m gone” sort of frown and hurried after her.  “Tess, make sure that there’s not an alarm before you just…”  He trailed off because Tessie had already thrown the door open and marched inside.  “Right.”  He followed her into the foyer and looked around at the cluttered, frou-frou interior.

Layers upon layers of useless gewgaws covered every surface.  Little porcelain cats sat beside flower arrangements preserved under glass domes, in front of china dolls in ballerina outfits, next to carnival glass vases and multicolored candy dishes that had never been used to hold so much as a peppermint.

Knickknacks were crowded together in a never ending parade of tackiness.

Tessie glanced over at Job, taking in the subtle “holy shit” quality to his expression.  “Ya see?  I got all the style in the family.  So, I’d better not catch you sneering at my zebra backpack again, honey.”

Job’s mouth curved slightly.  “I like that ugly bag.  When you showed up and dropped it onto my two hundred year old rug, I knew right then you were going to brighten things up for me.”

Tessie blew him a kiss and weaved her way past the tightly packed, French Revival furnishing.  “Where do think Kay would keep the Health Tablet?”

“I don’t know.”  Job arched a brow.  “Looking around the incredibly
thorough
mess you and the Water Phases made at our house, I’m just going bow to your expertise at searching for those boxes and let you take the lead.”

Tessie smiled.  “You called your house,
our
house.”  That completely charmed her, even in the midst of her super serious hunt for the Tablet.

“Of course, I did.”  Job glanced at her.  “You’re my Match.  It’s all yours.  Everything I have.  I wouldn’t even want it, if I couldn’t share it with you, Tess.”

Tessie’s nose wrinkled in delight.  “You’re gonna regret saying that when I start picking out new paint colors for your boring, earth toned palace, ya know.  My taste isn’t really
that
good.”  She arched a provocative brow.  “Except, when it comes to men, obviously.”

That earned her a full smile.  “Tease.”

Tessie winked at him and began opening drawers in Kay’s sideboard, hunting for the box.  “Um… While were having this nice moment of flirting and B&E, it might be a good time to mention that I have been kind of evasive about something.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah.”  She cleared her throat.  “I actually do have an idea of where another Tablet might be.”

Job frowned.  “You do?”

“Yeah.”  She said, again.  “Twenty-five years ago, Parson sort of had it.”

“Sort of?”

“Alright.  He
definitely
had it and after he died, I couldn’t find it.  I think that maybe he left it with his daughters.”  She shrugged with determined nonchalance.  “His daughters are gone, now, so I’m thinking that Sullivan or Melanie might have it and not even know what it is.”

“I see.  And you’re just mentioning this now?”

Tessie stayed focused on her search.  “Yep.”

Job considered that for a moment, his face a bit smug.  “So, you’ve decided that you love me
and
you trust me, huh?”

Tessie pursed her lips.  “Pretty much.”

Job nodded.  “Thank you.  Considering that Parson was like your father, I’m betting that was difficult.”

Tessie glanced over at him.  “Not so much, since I’m telling it to you, actually.”  She gave her hair a toss.  “You know what I think?”

“Not really, but I always enjoy being surprised.”

Tessie snickered at that.  “Be serious.”

Job paused.  “No one’s ever said that to me before.”  He mused.

“That’s because no one but me knows what a wiseass you can be.”  Tessie informed him.  “Anyway, like I was saying, I think that Kay is too much of a megalomaniac to let that Tablet stray real far, ya know?  She’d want to keep it close at hand so she could gloat.”

“Her bedroom?”  Job guessed.

Tessie made a bull’s-eye finger gesture.  “Her bedroom.  Let’s try upstairs.”  Tessie headed for the curvy,
Gone with the Wind
style staircase.  “There should be a
second
box in the Air Kingdom, too.  I know Kay found two boxes, but I think that Parald has the other one.  Who knows why Kay lets him hold onto it or which one it is.”

“If Parald has this other box and Kay doesn’t, then it might actually be good news.”  Job muttered.  “I’ve known him for years and he’s not smart enough to do much with it on his own.  Did you ask Gion about it?”

“No.  I don’t want him involved with the Tablets.  It’s dangerous.  People will kill for them.”  Tessie looked at Job.  “I know he’s an asshole, but –in spite of everything-- Guy’s my…” she searched for the right word and could only come up with, “friend.  He’s been my only friend for a real long time, actually.  Even when I hate him and throw stuff at his big, dumb head, I don’t want him or anyone else to get hurt because they were trying to help me.”

Job didn’t seem reassured.  “I do see Gion differently since I’ve watched you interact with him.  He’s much less menacing around you.  But, Tess, you can’t trust him.  He’s not safe.”

“That’s just part of his serial killer facade.”  Tessie lifted a shoulder.  “I wouldn’t trust Gion in a poker game, because he cheats.  And God only knows how his mind works, but Parson gave him to me for a reason.  Gion hides it and he’s a snarky bastard, but he’s reliable.”  She hesitated.  “Also, if you wanna see him in a completely
not
menacing way, I think that he kinda has a crush on Ty.”

“Ty?”  Job blinked.  “Ty and
Gion
?”

Tessie snorted at his tone.  “Hey, there’ve been odder couples.  At least, Ty and Gion are both Elementals.  It’s like not a nice, normal Earth Phase and a former bartending ‘Other’ hooking-up.”

“You’re not an ‘Other.’  You’re my Match.  The former bartending Earth Queen.”  They reached the second floor landing and began looking through doorways, trying to locate Kay’s private sanctum.  “How do we know which one is her room?”

“Look for a canopy bed and manacles on the walls.”  Tessie muttered.

Job glanced down at her as if expecting her to be joking.

Tessie shook her head.  “I’m serious.  Kay’s twisted.  And not in a regular, cool, kinky way.  She’s –like-- full-on creep show.”  Tessie began systematically working her way down the hall, one door after another.

“I’ll certainly bear that in mind.”  Job took a more studied approach to the search.  He examined all the doors for a beat and then moved to one with sparkly star taped to its wooden surface.  He cleared his throat.  “I think I found it, Tess.”

She hurried over to investigate.  “Yep.  This is definitely Kay’s lair.  I swear to God, she’s like an immature six year old.”  Tessie stepped across the threshold and grimaced.  “Shit.  Whose blood to do think that is?”  It dripped down the candy cane stripped wallpaper onto the rose pedal carpeting, creating a horrible rusty stain against the ocean of pink.  “Can you tell if it’s Elemental?”

“It’s not.  It’s not human, either.”

Tessie wasn’t certain how he could be so sure, but she was willing to accept it.  “It’s probably Kingu’s, then.”  Tessie sighed as she often did when she thought of her nephew.  “Poor kid.”

Job squinted.  “The dragon looking guy with the red eyes?”

Tessie sighed, again.  “He’s my nephew.  Same as Cross is to you.”  Kingu certainly wasn’t some curly haired little boy she’d taken to Disneyland on summer vacations or whatever other aunts did.  And God knew that Kingu had done his fair share of terrible things.  But, being trapped with Kay pretty much meant that his life had been screwed-up from the get go.  Tessie actually didn’t blame Kingu for anything that had happened.  How could he possibly know any better?  It was all Kay, tainting everything that she touched.

Job thought about that for a moment, still studying the bloodstained iron chains.  “Why would Kay hurt her own son?  Just for… fun?”

“You must have missed the part where my sister’s an evil, amoral bitch.”  Tessie grumbled.  She stalked over to Kay’s white and gold dresser and began ransacking drawers.  “I’ll check over here for the Health Tablet, you try the closet.”

Job pinched the bridge of his nose and turned away from the thick shackles.  “I see.”  He headed over to explore the walk-in closet.  “Remind me again how killing Kay will end the world.”

“It’ll end the world.”  Tessie assured him.  “If it wouldn’t, I’d have already have seen her dead.  But, without the Khaos --without the
nothingness
-- there can’t be anything else.”

“Your mother passed the Quintessence to you.  Can’t the Khaos just go to Kingu?”

Tessie snorted.  “Kay would
never
give it up.  Even if Kingu could hold it, which I’m not sure he could, Kay would have to willingly pass it to him.  She’d rather the world just end with her.  The evil, amoral bitch thing, again.”

“Right.”  Job disappeared into depths of the closet and took a moment to soak in Kay’s idiotic wardrobe.  “Still, she really does enjoy polka dot sundresses, doesn’t she?”

Tessie was opening her mouth to respond to that when her cell phone signaled a new text from Gion.

Teja jumped & K knows she wasn’t you.

Almost at the same time another message popped up, this time from Cross.

K coming.  Get out
.

Shit.

“Job.” Tessie hissed.  “We gotta go.”

“There’s a pink metallic safe in here.”  Job called.  “Would she keep the Tablet in a pink metallic safe?”

Tessie swore softly.  Yeah, Kay absolutely
would
do that.  Her sister managed to be both paranoid and egotistical, so it would be just like her to keep a Tablet of Fate in her bedroom and then lock it up so not even Kingu could see it.  Tessie glanced down at her watch as she dashed over to the closet.  “We’re out of time, honey.”

Job was crouched down in front of the shiny safe, scrutinizing the locking mechanism.  “We’re so close, though.”  He grabbed the handle and gave it a rattle.  “Damn.  She has this guarded with some kind of power.  Otherwise, I think I could get into it.”

Tessie hesitated and then cursed, again.  “Okay, hang on.”  She gave Job a little bump with her shoulder as she knelt next to him.  “You’re a bad influence.”

Job chuckled.  “I appreciate that.  Until you, I never got to be anything but a role model.”

“That’s terrifying.”  Tessie shook her head and studied the safe.  Kay had used her energies to lock it.  Never a smart idea when your little sis could bypass supernatural barriers as if they were made of butter.  Tessie reached over to grasp the lever and easily twisted it.  The door swung open like magic because… Well, it sort of
was
magic, actually.  “Ta-da!”

Job arched a brow.  “I’d better not hear you ever say that you’re powerless again, Tess.”  He gave her temple an attagirl kiss.  “Very impressive.”

“I know, I know.  I rock.”  Tessie reached into the safe and pulled out the only object inside of it… the Tablet of Health.  “And thar she blows.”

To most people, it looked exactly like all the other boxes, but Tessie could certainly tell them apart.  Possibly because she was one of the only beings alive who could read the white writing that covered its mirrored sides.

“Gotcha.”  She tossed it into the air.

Job cringed slightly as it soared upward and then landed in her palm, again.  “Um, is it dangerous to break those things?”