Guardian Cougar (Finding Fatherhood Book 2) (9 page)

She was too immersed in tears to be able to verbalize any of her recent epiphany, but Jackson seemed to understand what was happening. He held her tightly and whispered softly to her, assuring her Killian would recover, and they would all be fine.

“We’re going to be a happy little family. You’ll see.”

She nodded at his words, clinging to them like a talisman as she held on to him while weathering the emotional storm threatening to break her. Finally, the tears abated, and even her hiccups subsided. Once she was semi in control again, she eased away from his embrace to turn back to the baby.

Looking at him now, all she felt was a wave of love, and she put her hand back in the incubator to grip his small foot in her hand. He kicked his leg lightly, and she smiled. She was certain Jackson was right. Killian was going to be fine, she was going to be okay, and they would soon be a happy family. Just the three of them. For the first time in too long, aside from the brief period of time when she’d had the bliss of forgetfulness, she was optimistic about the future and certain she not only deserved happiness, but would find it easily with Jackson and Killian.

Three days after Killian’s surgery, once Hannah had a chance to adjust and recover from her emotionally traumatic scene, to settle into some semblance of a routine, he knew he had to tell her everything. She deserved to know he was a cougar-shifter, and he hoped it wouldn’t drive her away. After everything they’d been through, the idea of losing her over that was almost enough to make him continue hiding it. He couldn’t do it though. She deserved to know everything about him before committing to a future with him. He had to tell her this part so they could move on to the next.

He paced nervously around the living room, and she wore a puzzled expression as she watched him. Knowing he needed to tell her and finding the words to do so were two separate things.

She frowned up at him. “Did you still want to tell me something?”

He paused in mid-step, running a hand through his hair as he looked down at her. “I don’t really want to tell you, but I need to. You have to know everything about me.”

There was a hint of concern in her expression. “What is it, Jackson? You’re scaring me.”

“I don’t want to do that. I hope you know I’d never hurt you. But what I’m about to tell you is going to sound crazy, and then I’m going to show you the proof. When I do, please don’t run screaming from the apartment. Just remember I won’t hurt you.”

She was clearly bewildered, but she nodded. She sounded stoic when she said, “Okay, tell me and show me what you need to. I’m not going anywhere. I’m done running.”

He hoped that was true as he took a deep breath. “I’m a cougar-shifter.”

Her eyes widened, and she stared at him in openmouthed shock. He could see the wheels turning in her brain and almost guess the exact moment she decided he might be mentally unstable. It coincided with a sharp increase in the scent of her pheromones wafting toward him.

He held up his hands in a gesture to show he was harmless. “I know how it sounds, but it’s true. I’m going to show you, and then I’ll explain the best I can.” Without waiting for her confirmation, he quickly shucked off the sweatpants he’d worn in preparation for the big reveal before stripping off his T-shirt and tossing it aside too.

The muscles in his body burned for a moment, but not in an unpleasant way, as he stretched forward to place his palms and feet flat on the floor, turning into the cat as he did so. It was an automatic function, and it required very little active thought on his part. It actually required more control to keep the cat inside than it did to let the cougar out.

She let out a startled gasp and pressed her back into the couch, but she didn’t scramble to her feet or try to run away. He approached her carefully, trying to seem as nonthreatening as possible in his cougar form. He padded to her, his claws clicking on the laminate flooring as he edged around the coffee table and compacted his lithe frame between it and the couch so he could put his paw gently on her leg, careful to keep his claws from extending and hurting her.

He purred as he laid his head on her other leg, reassured when she lifted a hand to stroke his fur after a brief hesitation. He rubbed his cheek against her for a moment, marking her as his as he imparted his pheromones into her skin before pulling back and changing to his human form again.

He was naked, but didn’t reach for his clothes, which he’d tossed on the chair across the room. He was too intent on her reaction to care about modesty.

She was still clearly shocked, but at least she wasn’t screaming in fear. “How did this happen? Is it some kind of magic?” She asked the question with evident skepticism, but clearly unable to think of another explanation.

He grinned at her, flashing his white teeth, which were no longer elongated now that he had shifted back. “It’s simply science and evolution. Shifters have a different gene than
Homo sapiens
that allows us to shift into our form. Shifters further evolved into other subspecies, but we’re still genetically almost identical to
Homo sapiens
. It’s literally the difference of one gene.”

She blinked, seeming to have a moment where she couldn’t take it all in, and then her expression cleared. “That’s interesting. It’s completely insane, and if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d be certain you needed a long stay in a padded room, but I can’t deny what I saw or felt.” She curled her hand into a fist, as though recalling the feel of his fur against her fingers. “I assume it isn’t contagious, since it’s a genetic abnormality?”

He stiffened slightly. “It’s not a disease, and it isn’t contagious. It’s just a slight difference. There’s nothing to cure, and there’s nothing abnormal about it.”

Her eyes widened, and she lifted a hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I didn’t ask that in the best way, I guess.”

He let out a small sigh. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It was a valid question, but I know I’m not the only shifter who’s sensitive to the idea that we might be some kind of freak. We’re just a different branch of evolution.”

She nodded. “I get that. So, when do you start changing into a cougar? I mean, is it from the day you’re born?”

He shook his head. “That comes with puberty. You can start hearing your cat inside your head then too. It’s not exactly like a verbal communication, but more a sense of sharing your headspace with someone else. The first few years when an animal-shifter hits puberty can be rough as they try to find a balance between the animal and the human side, but I have it under control now.”

She looked a little shaky, but she was smiling. “And I thought human puberty was rough.”

He couldn’t help the intensity as he lifted her hand and asked, “Are you okay with this?” There wasn’t much he could do if she wasn’t, besides try to assure her he’d never hurt her, but he knew at least a few other friends who’d lost partners they cared about when revealing the truth. It could be a lot for someone to take in, especially if they had no idea about shifters’ existence before falling in love with one.

She nodded. “We’re fine. I actually find it reassuring. It makes me feel even safer with you than I did before. It’s also kind of sexy.”

He arched a brow. “You find the cougar sexy?”

She shook her head. “No, not the animal himself…yourself? I’m not sure how to phrase that. I just meant to know that there’s this wild, untamed side of you makes me feel safe, and the edge of danger’s kind of sexy. It’s that whole bad boy phenomenon.”

Jackson laughed. “Other than my briefly misspent youth, I’ve never been a bad boy in my life. I was always a clean-cut type. I graduated the police academy at the top of my class and made detective before I was thirty. It was just too much though. Too much violence, and too many criminals working the system to avoid any meaningful punishment. I walked away from it all when Lucas offered me a partnership in his security firm, but I still maintain my disgustingly clean-cut outlook, and a sharp delineation between right and wrong, good or evil.”

Hannah snuggled against him as she put her arms around him, laying her head against his chest. “That’s the part that makes me feel safe. Knowing you could be dangerous, but would never use that ability to hurt anyone, makes you sexy. You’re like my own guardian cougar.”

He growled low in his throat as his cock started to stiffen. “I’m not sure you’re safe from me at the moment, so you’d better pull back. We both know you can’t do anything yet, and I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

She licked her lips as she glanced at his lap suggestively before looking up at him again. “I could do something.”

With a small grunt of surrender, he leaned back and allowed her to show him exactly what, losing himself in the pleasure of her mouth while forgetting all about his other plan for the moment.

It was only several minutes later, when she’d pulled back and was discreetly wiping her lips, that he remembered what else he’d planned to tell her that night. He took her hand in his, folding it and placing it against his heart, which still beat rapidly from his release. “I love you, Hannah.”

She hesitated for just a second before nodding. “I love you too. It scares me sometimes, especially after what Cromwell did to me, but I don’t want to live in the past or trapped at his mercy, subjugated by memories of what he did. As much as it frightens me sometimes, I couldn’t not love you even if I wanted to.”

“I don’t have a ring or anything, because I didn’t really think this through, but I’d like you to marry me. I want to make our family official before we bring home Killian in a couple of weeks.”

Her eyes widened, but this time she didn’t hesitate. “I’d be happy to marry you, Jackson. I’m certain you make me happy, and I’ll do the same for you, or do my best anyway. Did you want to get married before we bring him home?”

He nodded. “If we can make it happen, I’d like to.”

Her eyes gleamed. “I think we’re within driving distance of Vegas, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” he said with a purr of satisfaction. “Yes, we are.”

***

It was several hours later before they arrived in Vegas, and they had to wait for the marriage license office to open before they could get the official documents and go to one of the chapels on The Strip. They chose a small one that looked fairly tasteful from the outside, though was completely different on the inside. Hannah giggled when she saw the Vegas memorabilia inside, focusing heavily on the Rat Pack, along with an entire wall devoted to Elvis, like a mini shrine.

The receptionist who greeted them and signed them in was dressed like Marilyn Monroe. It was the strangest conglomeration and mishmash of icons she’d seen when she saw the other attendants on the wall. There were pictures of their celebrants, along with framed certificates alluding to their legal ability to perform marriages in Nevada.

“Who would you like to marry you today?” asked Marilyn. She waved to the wall. “I’m afraid Dean Martin isn’t on shift, and only one of our Elvises is available.”

Hannah giggled again at the absurdity of it before pointing to the picture of a black man with a strong resemblance to Sammy Davis Jr. “I’ve always liked Sammy myself.”

Jackson seemed to share her amusement, and it was evident in his voice when he agreed. “Sammy sounds good to me.”

Marilyn looked at her book before nodding. “Excellent. He’s finishing up a ceremony now, but you can have the next spot. A ceremony takes about fifteen minutes. In the meantime, would you like to look at jewelry or wedding attire?” She pointed to a locked case displaying rings beside her before waving her hand to her room marked “Clothing” on the sign above it.

Hannah was fine getting married and her white capris and gauzy pink top, and apparently, Jackson was content with his khakis and polo, because neither one of them ventured into the room where they could find wedding attire considered appropriate by this chapel. She wondered if she’d find a white dress similar to Marilyn’s in there.

Together, by unspoken agreement, they moved to examine the jewelry in the case. Everything seemed a little overpriced, but most of the pieces were surprisingly tasteful, and there was only one row of really gaudy items that she barely even glanced at. Together, they chose a set that included two wedding bands and an engagement ring with a single solitaire diamond.

When Marilyn started to ring up their purchase, she reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. Brandon had retrieved her items for her from somewhere, though she doubted he’d flown all the way to Miami to get them. Perhaps they’d been in storage somewhere after her landlord had closed out her apartment in Los Angeles. She’d been too deep in her emotional disconnection to ask him questions the day he brought her identification and credit cards, but now she was glad to have them as she plunked down a black American Express. “I want to pay for his wedding ring.”

Jackson didn’t argue, and Marilyn seemed to have no trouble splitting the purchases. Less than five minutes later, the jewelry was theirs. Jackson took the engagement ring from the box and got down on one knee in the middle of the garish reception area. “Will you marry me?”

“Of course I will. I haven’t changed my mind between San Diego and Vegas.”

He cast a doubtful eye around them, shooting a glance at Marilyn, who seemed to be busy doing something, before saying, “This place might be enough to change anyone’s mind.”

She laughed as he slid the ring on her finger. “It’ll take more than celebrity impersonators and the tackiest wedding chapel in history to ruin our day.”

Things moved quickly after that, and before she knew it, she stood in front of the imitation Sammy Davis Jr., promising to be Jackson’s loyal and loving partner as he did the same. They exchanged “I dos” and kisses before Marilyn blinded them with several flashes from her camera.

With two signatures on the marriage license, followed by Sammy’s, whose real name was actually Andrew Arkinson, according to the marriage license, they were officially wed. It was the strangest ceremony she’d never even thought to imagine, but as they stepped out into the warm morning sunshine nearly an hour after entering the chapel, her hand entwined with his, she realized it was the perfect wedding. It was something they’d never forget, and the most important thing was it had bound them together permanently.

“Would you like to stay over?”

She shook her head. “If you feel like the drive back, I just want to get home. I don’t like being so far away from Killian.”