Guardian (12 page)

My mother ordered Grace to sit down at dinner that night.  Grace looked at me first so I eased her by sitting down first.  I was forced to sit beside mother and died when Grace’s face fell at seeing me far away in her eyes.

“We need to talk about coming events. First,” my mother smiled her most evil of smiles at her, “how are you feeling?”

She looked at me for help, but with my mother
nothing
would help her.  Above that, I had to block my thoughts in overdrive to hide them from my mother, the queen.  As straight-faced as I could muster, I sat and let her drill the girl I loved. 

“A little overwhelmed!”Grace said to her.

“I can only imagine.  Well, you are familiar with the Seelie court and our code now.  We have conflict just like any organized group with many voices and opinions to… stir things up,” Queen Lazyra snubbed her nose in the air, “for which we will get to before our little snack is concluded.”  She wanted to make Grace as uncomfortable as possible though she was the reason for the entire event.  I tried very hard to remind myself to be upset about what the event would mean for my mother.  She would be gone in a few days.  I tried hard to be sad about it too. 

I caught Grace’s thoughts comparing me to my mother.  She thought I had a habit of being secretive and conniving.  I couldn’t believe it.  “When you were born, your mother, Ginera, became mother to a creature of one of the rarest forms.  A prophecy was delivered on that day,” Lazyra told her enjoying the dramatic pauses a little too much. 

Grace eyes hovered over the fact that I’d yet to say anything.  She thought I was either bored or severely nervous—she wasn’t sure.  Neither.  Anger welled inside my brain at seeing Grace feel so vulnerable and insignificant.  She was the very reason we were here. 

The bark arrived.

Queen Lazyra unfolded the wood and handed it to Jorie the little twin faerie from the records room.  She boomed out,  

“We’ll come seek you on one hallowed eve

When grace upon you is in full bloom

A queen emerges among us all

To take us into a peaceful rule

A prince will name her to his own

Guard her well from friend or foe

Come seek us at the pass

Otherwise, you shall not last.

I saw Grace’s lip quiver.  She said to both of us, “And that was about me?”

“We’ve waited for you for a long time.”

Huff!  She didn’t really wait for Grace.  She only watched and waited for her to turn it down.  No one else knows what my mother was capable of.  I did! I’d managed to hide her searing evil-minded deeds of the past from everyone but the two that probably should have been the last to know.  Pike was as close to a best friend that I’d ever had. 

Before Grace, we jacked around about anything.  Girls.  Weapons.  Now, we barely talk.  Rivalry for the same girl does that!

Kinsler and I were close once a very long time ago as two separate courts possibly can be.  Equal ground had a play in it.  And then along came Grace.  I was so resentful in the beginning.  I blamed Grace for our loss.  Now I wouldn’t change the circumstances for anything.

When Grace looked at me decidedly worrying about what I thought I wanted to declare everything right then reducing myself to sappy mess.  Hadn’t I officially made that clear?  She still doubted me.

“He has waited for a long time, too!”  Lazyra said making me uncomfortable. 

Did he really want….

Not only was she asking me to answer her thoughts, she doubted once again my intentions.  Incredible!

“It’s not much time, but you are ready whether you think you are or not.  Tomorrow, you’ll be queen.”

Grace shouted though I could tell her voice was louder than she meant it to be, “I don’t know the first thing about all this.  You’re giving me very little to go on here.  You can’t tell me all this and expect me to just smile and be your puppet.  I’m in control here too.”  Her head slid to her hands. 

“You’ll be fine,” the queen said giving me the slightly dictator like order without Grace aware.  She wanted her subdued.  My hand on her shoulder, she magically calmed a little and even more when I rested beside her.  I made the mistake of telling my mother this fantastic ability a few years back.  Apparently, it wasn’t a skill shared with many others of our kind. 

Grace figured it out and rendered me quite the dirty look.  I laughed on the inside at my girl’s resistance to have the wool pulled over her eyes though it seems she will always be prey to the wolf.  Myself being the predator in question.

I watched my mother’s reaction to Grace’s constant awareness of me.  She could see, feel, and hear how Grace felt.  About me.  About her.  About this entire
world changing
event for her.  

And at the moment Grace was disturbed by the idea of what she was here for and why she sat before us now.  Being half human was a hard reality to shake knowing life itself is over somewhere else.  I abhorred the idea of feeling like a feigned kidnapper and her hating me for doing it, but I am calmed by the fact that she came.  That doesn’t say anything about the fact that it sends signals of danger since her survival instincts are all wrong.  She shouldn’t have wanted to follow me into certain doom, yet I’d done everything in my power to make it so. 

The queen looked at me and hinted to start talking. 

“It will be easier than you think.  Some of it comes naturally.  You are a natural at making others do your will because they want to make you happy,” I paused, “You… could change your mind,” unable to hide my pain.

Grace showed her lioness when mother gave her the look of no return.  My girl put her head down and stayed that way.  When she raised her head this time, her face had changed, a sureness about it.  She was a still photograph waiting for me to pin up, her face was so amazing when I knew something sassy was about to come out.

“Okay!  What do I do next?  And can you please tell me anymore shockers that might be coming my way so I’ll be over all the initial jaw droppers.  I want to know everything that’s going to happen tonight, tomorrow, ever.” A cheeky smile lined her mouth. 

That’s my girl.

“And I want to know what my parents think about this. Can I visit them?”

Slam.  She thought her parents would be mad.  Scared maybe, but not mad.

She described us as a puzzle with me as her missing piece.   My heart nearly broke from the pain of holding back from her. I willed my mother away but she glared happily back at me.  She could care less that this was personal.  Not knowing the meaning of tactfulness, she could care less that this was personal.

What Grace thought next...I didn’t think, I just answered. 

We just fit together perfectly.
 
I’d known that for years.
 
Did he?

“Yes!” I said feeling my chest contract.

OOOHHH!
she thought
.
  She steamed, waving her sweet finger in my face, “Don’t do that!  You were listening.”

“I can stop, if that’s what you need.”

“Yes, I want you to stop, kapish.” 

I held my unfettered mind to a standstill knowing my instinct was to laugh at her claws coming out.  I loved her mind.

“And you’ll see your parents again, but not without caution.”

I’d let myself forget my mother was here.  At times, I couldn’t see anyone but Grace before me. 

Queen Lazyra said, “Silly girl.  Ian loves you.  Can’t you see that?”

My face reddened to an angry purple and I fisted my hands to keep from cursing at the woman who gave birth to me but has no care in the world for how I feel.  She’d overstepped her boundaries caring nothing for the way that would sound or if I might have wanted to be the first to tell her that.  Maybe I had prophecy issues with not being able to tell her before.  And maybe I even had difficulty with telling her in the last two hours, but give me a break here.

And her face said the same.  A string of dangerously long cuss words went through my mind making my mother frown, but I didn’t care.  I walked behind her noting that she wouldn’t look at me and stood indicating to mother that she should continue now.

“Tomorrow night, you will turn eighteen, we call that the “coming of age” ceremony.  The prophecy will be fulfilled.  And your betrothing ceremony,” Queen Lazyra announced.

“What is a betrothing ceremony?” she asked innocently.  She really didn’t know?

I cleared my throat to gain her attention facing her quickly knowing what my mother would say next.  Then, like it was an everyday occurrence, she said, “You’ll promise to become his bride.”

Heck!  This was going all wrong.

Eyes closed, she shouldered her fear. 
 

“For all time.” That was lame.

“I don’t know what to say.”  She would leave me now. 
 

She pictured her reality human life that would have happened.  That still could.  

Queen Lazyra pointed to me after listening to her rampart thoughts, “You didn’t give her much information to start with, my son.”             

A competent battle ridden warrior one minute, and helpless love-sick man the next.  I’d do anything to protect Grace from my mother or anyone else that intended harm on her.

“Yes, my queen.  This girl has, well, a way of freezing my tongue.  I tried.” I hated the way she put me on the damn spot.  I just wanted to be alone with Grace and be done with my mother.   

Didn’t she know she was a little overbearing?
Grace thought
.

At least Grace got the overbearing part of my parental control unit correct.

Mother sighed as if she were annoyed and faced my girl, “You’ll be ready at just after twilight.  Your gown was readied this morning.  You are free to roam the gardens until noontime meal and then Ian will meet you.  Then the girls will ready you for meeting the rest of the court.”

Grace said thank you figuring out my mother’s rude way of dismissing anyone she considers beneath her.  That means everyone but herself.  How she could think the future Seelie queen, and half human one at that, was of little importance was beyond me. 

I popped to attention when Grace asked to talk with me.  The queen stood, “He will be along after the meal. Eat.  I have matters I have to attend too.  Ian will inform you better before nightfall.”

Crap! 

Behind the ivy wall corner, “Son, you should have better informed her.  She acts as if she hasn’t a clue what comes next?”

“She doesn’t.”  I couldn’t talk about this to my mother, the queen of ice, in my opinion.  Her idea of love was, well, not much at all. 

“Son, if she loves you, she loves you.”

“But...”

“What?” she said indicating that I must be weak and cannot handle something else in her opinion.

“Well, the prophecy predicted our union.  I just don’t want her to think she
has
to marry me.  I want her to want me for me.  That’s why I never told her anything.  I thought she’d run away from me.  You talk to her so coldly,” I regretted it the second I said it.  Power is all she wants anyway!

She paused longer than I wanted.  I pushed my neck side to side trying to pop my neck to ease the angry well of tension that crawled up my spine.  I wanted tell her where she could stick her power.

“Son, put your frivolous worries to rest.  You can read her mind as well as I can.  For as long as we have existed, we’ve not seen a half human queen.  Our history will change forever.  And if she chooses to abandon us to the Nyms, we’ve no choice.” I knew she wasn’t finished.  “But that will not happen.”

Dictatorship never ran any group of people well.  That’s what she wants.  She has no care for Grace at all.  Did she think it would continue?

“You need to go to her.  Tell her how you feel, give her the whole truth.  And no, I’ve never loved as you do son. I can’t understand your emotions.  They get in the way of your ability to think.”

I only nodded.  She’d never understand.  Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I found it so easy to talk to Grace.  I needed Grace in more ways than she could imagine.  I didn’t want to admit this to myself, but it was true. 

Mother started to leave and turned smoothly like a snake baiting its prey back to me.  She told me to tend to another one of her little tasks involving yet another Fey boy who’d led a lustful human astray.  I would wait till nightfall tonight after Grace was well guarded and remove the memories myself and bring the boy to her.  Same old, same old with her.  When things changed, that was the first to go.  Keep their dang grubby hands off the humans or take care of it themselves. 

***

Cutting the corner at a fast pace, I forced myself to slow it down when my growing desire to touch her everywhere and make her mine grew stronger.  I didn’t mean it rudely, just that I feel like I might lose her and if I hold her to me, nothing can take her. 

Sensing her thoughts and seeing her, my body found the oxygen I’d held till I would be with her again.

“Em!” I cleared my throat as she looked all over me.  I enjoyed her hungry eyes taking me in like she’d done so many times and never knew I was aware of it.  I didn’t look away this time.  The hilt of my sword sounded off in an annoying pattern against my side.  I truly loved the sound, but at the second I wanted all sound to cease so that I wouldn’t miss anything pertaining to Grace. 

Our eyes met.  Both of our hearts seemed to be in sync.  She laughed under her breath at her own private joke.

“Grace!” I said very soft, like her.  “Can we talk?” 

“I don’t think we have enough time to talk about what all is on my list.”  She tried so hard to look mad making my gut wrench and hit me in all the places she seemed to ignite with her pout, smile, all of it.  When her upper lip folded up just now into her mouth. I wanted to reach down and pull it out with my teeth.  Slowly.

I sat close enough the heat she radiated was maddeningly tempting to not move closer.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. 

“I’ve got a lot to tell you.  I’ve tried so many times to tell you.  I even tried to make you see my
magic
…hoping to make you run away.”  I
tried
to make my voice strong.

“Run away?”  Her head jerked upward.

“Yes, Grace.  The right thing to do was make sure you chose what you wanted.  Nothing else mattered.  I was there with you every day of your life.   Nothing was going to hurt you, and nothing ever will.”  I needed her to know I could protect her.  I wouldn’t fail.

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist to me… to anyone.”

“It does in this world…mine and yours now.”  My laugh was loud enough to hear.  “You thought I was just good ole Ian, your best pal.  I admit I read your mind many times and hoped what you were thinking was true.”

“I—

“Wait.  I need to say this,” I pleaded, “I need you to know how I feel.  I’ve lived longer than any one human lifespan.  I’ve never known a human before you.  I believed them to all be self-centered selfish creatures.  You’re different.  I followed orders for so long not believing a prophecy to make you…to have you…”

“...love you?”

Man, I didn’t see that coming.  I gasped like a damn girl.  Grace rattled me to the core.

“Yes, Ian, I love you.  I’ve said it for years, just not out loud.  I don’t need a prophecy to tell me who to love.”  Her bravery always sent me into shock.  She was throwing herself out there.

“I’ll honor my protection over you, but do you want all this?  Knowing that so much is unknown.  You’ll live here, with me.   And I will love you with every breathe I have in me.”  I held a paralyzed gaze. 

“I just never knew you... had feelings for me,” she swallowed several times in between her words.

“You don’t see yourself very clearly.  You are so…crazy to not know how amazing you are.  You stop my breath every time I see you.  I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I think I’ve always known.  Some underlying force was pushing me to you.  And well…if you’d read
my
thoughts, you’d know what your smile does to
me
.  I think I substituted that for terms of endearment for years to satisfy my infatuation,” I shrugged only meaning to shake off the whole sharing my feelings part.  I wanted this over with.  Not that it wasn’t everything and all, I just was starting to feel closed off.  I wanted reassurance too.  And I was tired of talking sissified to my own psyche in practice for what I would say to her.  Not one thing I’ve uttered sounded like I’d practiced.

She rolled her eyes at me.  What? 

I continued anyway, “And you knew what your smile meant to me already.  I’ve never hid that.  You’ve had me for years and you knew it every time.  You even milked it for what it got you.  You smiled; I gave you what you wanted.  But you knew deep down inside what it really meant.” 

I couldn’t help myself, “I love the way the corner of your mouth sneaks up at just the right moment I want it too.  It makes me want…”  When I reached up and touched her cheek tenderly on the side of her mouth, she did exactly as expected and shivered from her toes to her pretty little head. 

“You don’t see yourself either.  You have always been there for me. And you don’t realize what you do to
my
heart rate,” she told me looking every bit of the shy girl I knew but holding her head high. 

Our palms touched.  Her other hand gripped her dress causing wrinkles, so I smoothed it out as I unlaced her fingers from the gown and pulled it to me.  I greatly enjoyed this reaction out of her. 

“See!” I said.  When her sweet hand landed across my chest, I felt my body react.  She would be the death of me.

“Your heart rate, yeah,” her voice cracked. 

“Yeah,” I stayed still not wanting to move.  I didn’t think she did either.  I shifted, her warm smooth cheek called upon me to stroke it, so I did. 

“See. I told you,” she put my hand over her heart.  We never took our eyes off each other. 

I reluctantly lowered both of my hands to hold hers in her lap again.  “And as far as what happens next, I’m scared to death, too.  But if you will do it with me, I’m ready for anything.” 

“Do I really have a choice?  To leave?”

I nodded solemnly.

“One condition.” 

I didn’t hide the shock.  She would give me conditions?  Was she trying to be funny?  Of course, I would do or be anything she wanted.  Say the word.  Man, she boiled my blood hot.  Her bravery grew with every new breath.  How could I live without that?  She surprised me with something different daily. 

“When do I get to read your thoughts?” she paused for my reaction, then laughed at either herself or my face. “Keeping it real, babe.”

That’s
my Grace
.  I laughed uneasily.  She would definitely keep me on my toes.  Never a dull moment!  “You already know them. You have some amazing effect over my tongue.  It spills its inner most secrets without resistance at even the most tense of moments.” 

Yeah.  I’ve spoken more in the last twenty-four hours than I had all totaled up across four years of human high school.

I closed the small space separating us, reaching out too fast and then recoiled.  Neither one of us knew how to treat the feelings we’d bottled for so long.  We’d spent so many nights lying side by side on the trampoline inching away when our bodies accidentally rolled too close to the other. 

“Now, tell me about tomorrow tonight.”  She was changing the subject to sway me from what I wanted and shouldn’t take.