Growing Yams in London (7 page)

Makdiva:

It wasn’t LOL, it was painful!

PartyBharti:

2 ur EGO!

Makdiva:

That’s it, I’m signing off!

PartyBharti:

OK, I’ll stop. So did you find his place all right?

Makdiva:

No, I nearly missed the stop.

PartyBharti:

U LIE!

Makdiva:

Nope. I pressed the bell, got up and the driver kept on going! All I could see was Nelson’s horrified face as the bus whizzed past him at the bus stop.

PartyBharti:

What happened?

Makdiva:

Well, I raced to the front of the bus and pressed another bell and luckily it stopped. Talk about embarrassing!

PartyBharti:

Uh huh!

Makdiva:

Bharti! A bit of sympathy please?

PartyBharti:

I swear my fingers slipped! It is a bit funny though?

Makdiva:

No. The driver told me I should’ve pressed the bell earlier! Then this old lady got up and had a go at him, because the bell wasn’t working. I jumped off as soon
as he opened the doors.

PartyBharti:

Where was Nelson?

Makdiva:

He was there. He ran after the bus!

PartyBharti:

Really? That’s sweet. A total RM. I wonder what star sign he is.

Makdiva:

I don’t know yet. Anyway he hugged me.

PartyBharti:

Ohmigod, physical contact before the date? That means you guys are going to get married or something! Did you wear any perfume?

Makdiva:

Er yes, I nicked a bit of my mum’s.

PartyBharti:

Smart move.

Makdiva:

He said I smelled familiar.

PartyBharti:

So quick, tell me what happened!

Makdiva:

Well, he showed me around his house. What now?

PartyBharti:

OK 1 more time: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT INTERIOR DECORATING!

Makdiva:

Fine, no need to shout! We watched this really old film called
TeenWolf
and we had popcorn.

PartyBharti:

Any lip action?

Makdiva:

No, can you wait?

PartyBharti:

Hmm . . . did he?

Makdiva:

LOL NOT! We went to his bedroom and played on his PS2.

PartyBharti:

Ohmigod! You went to his bedroom? Why? Isn’t that like going too far on a first date?

Makdiva:

I don’t like him that much! I never sat on his on bed or anything! We were on his floor, playing a game.

PartyBharti:

Phew! It’s weird enough having a first date at his house, but taking you to his room too?

Makdiva:

Bharti it wasn’t like that! You’re as bad as Tanisha! He explained he ran out of money because it was his sister’s birthday and he spent his money on her
present this month. That’s why he couldn’t ask me to the cinema or anything.

PartyBharti:

OK, I suppose that’s a good excuse.

Makdiva:

It’s good enough for me.

PartyBharti:

So then what happened?

Makdiva:

Well, we kind of had a popcorn fight after I thrashed him on his favourite game. I’m so glad I spent last summer hanging out with Nick.

PartyBharti:

That’s a point. I never did work out how you got Nick away from his books and smoothie-making equipment and glued to his PS2!

Makdiva:

Can we get back to my date?

PartyBharti:

Yeah yeah.

Makdiva:

So then I saw his hand reaching for my face and . . . What?

PartyBharti:

LOL! I bet you were like totally freaked out and said, ‘What are you doing?’

Makdiva:

OK I was, but only for a split second, I swear! Plus Tanisha had taught me self-defence moves.

PartyBharti:

LOL! So then what happened?

Makdiva:

He pulled out a piece of popcorn from my hair.

PartyBharti:

LOL!!!

Makdiva:

OK, so I didn’t need to put him in an arm lock!

PartyBharti:

Stop it! I can’t laugh any more, my stomach aches!

Makdiva:

Anyway, then he told me how nice my hair was.

PartyBharti:

Oooh, so it was worth getting your braids done on Friday?

Makdiva:

Definitely! I didn’t even mind the trek to South London this time!

PartyBharti:

Well, was there any lip action?

Makdiva:

No.

PartyBharti:

Ohmigod, he doesn’t fancy you!

Makdiva:

What, seriously?

PartyBharti:

Makeeda, how many boyfriends have I had? I’m messing around? Joke?

Makdiva:

You still give good advice and I’m sure you’ll get a boyfriend soon.

PartyBharti:

Thanks for the sympathy.

Makdiva:

I mean it! It’s not sympathy!

PartyBharti:

Let me know when you find a boy who wants to go out with a size sixteen, five foot five, fourteen-year-old!

Makdiva:

Stop it. What about that guy at the Tube station last week?

PartyBharti:

He was a foot shorter than me and, ooh, at least thirty years too old for me!

Makdiva:

LOL! OK, bad example!

PartyBharti:

Thanks Miss un-matchmaker. Get on with the date.

Makdiva:

Fine. We stared at each other, then we kissed just as his dad walked in.

PartyBharti:

Stop it – U LIE!

Makdiva:

Nope. His dad walked in and introduced himself, then told us to go downstairs.

PartyBharti:

Whaaaaaat?

Makdiva:

Well, like you and Tanisha, he didn’t trust us alone in his son’s bedroom!

PartyBharti:

SEE!! I mean, oh shame!

Makdiva:

Yeah, thanks, Bharti! So we hung out watching a film on TV, then he called a cab for me.

PartyBharti:

Is that it?

Makdiva:

Yeah, well he gave me kiss for about a second on his doorstep as the cab pulled up and the driver hooted his horn.

PartyBharti:

Are you for real? 2 interruptions?

Makdiva:

YES!

PartyBharti:

OK, no need to shout. Well, what kind of kiss was it then?

Makdiva:

Which one?

PartyBharti:

The first one, of course! The second one doesn’t count.

Makdiva:

Nice.

PartyBharti:

Don’t make me come round and slap it out of you. I WANT DETAILS!

Makdiva:

Oh, OK then. It was really soft.

PartyBharti:

Any tongue action?

Makdiva:

Yes.

PartyBharti:

Ohmigod!

Makdiva:

Not for long though as his dad walked in, remember?

PartyBharti:

LOL!

Makdiva:

Not LOL! Totally embarrassing – my lips were left in the air before I realised we had company.

PartyBharti:

Ha. Haa­aa­aaa­aaa­aaaa­aaa­aaaa­aaaaa­aaa­aaaaa aaa­aaa­aaa­aaa­aaaa!

Makdiva:

Bharti?

PartyBharti:

Sorry, I fell off my chair and my finger got stuck on the ‘a’ key.

Makdiva:

Liar! There’s an exclamation mark.

PartyBharti:

OK, but I did fall off my chair. So is that it?

Makdiva:

Yes.

PartyBharti:

Wow, that’s an interesting first date.

Makdiva:

Spill it.

PartyBharti:

Well, you’re a Cancerian and according to your sign for Sunday it said, ‘A challenging day but a hopeful beginning,’ or something like that.

Makdiva:

Yeah and what does that mean?

PartyBharti:

Methinks the fates conspired against you, but then again you’ve had Mercury in retrograde for the past few weeks but all that should change

Makdiva:

WHEN BHARTI, WHEN?

PartyBharti:

All right, calm down. Um . . . According to this book, in about three years.

Makdiva:

WHAAAAAAAAAT?

PartyBharti:

I’m soo glad we’re not on the phone. I was just messing. Next week, Thursday. Have you told Mel?

Makdiva:

No, not yet, she’s been busy with the netball try-outs, but you know what she’s like: she probably knew he was going to ask me out!

PartyBharti:

Hold on, who did he say you smelled like?

Makdiva:

What?

PartyBharti:

You said he said you smelled familiar.

Makdiva:

Don’t laugh.

PartyBharti:

I promise.

Makdiva:

His nan.

PartyBharti:

Oh OK, that’s really cute.

Makdiva:

What no LOL! Or ha haaaaa??

PartyBharti:

It’s not that funny, besides I promised. Er, how old is she?

Makdiva:

70.

PartyBharti:

Ha haa­aaa­aaaaa­aaaa­aaaaa­aaa­aaaa­aaaa­aaaaa aaaaa­aaaaaa­aaaa!

Makdiva:

You promised!

PartyBharti:

I had my fingers crossed!

Makdiva:

How’s the diet going?

PartyBharti:

Fine, except I fainted yesterday.

Makdiva:

Whaaaaaat? Are you OK?

PartyBharti:

Yeah, my body obviously couldn’t take to that one.

Makdiva:

How many times were you eating?

PartyBharti:

Um, one full meal, plus breakfast and some fruit.

Makdiva:

That’s crazy!

PartyBharti:

Yeah, but I lost three pounds in a week!

Makdiva:

U R CRAZY GIRL! Bet you were starving all the time – I would be!

PartyBharti:

Of course I was starving! They took me to hospital and this nutritionist had a go at me. So on top of my family she was the fifth person to shout at me.

Makdiva:

Not surprised.

PartyBharti:

I know, I know. It was a stupid diet! It’s just that I heard that Amazonian Anoushka did it.