Growing Up in Lancaster County (38 page)

“Have you fed Buddy yet?” she asked when Jacob started to leave the room.

“Not yet. I’m going out to do that right now,” he called over his shoulder.

“I’ll do it,” Rachel offered. “Why don’t you find a comfortable chair and rest?”

Jacob turned to face her. “If you’re expecting me to pay you for feeding Buddy, you can forget it.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want any money.”

“Do you want me to do one of your chores in exchange for feeding my hund?”

She shook her head.

Jacob’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “What’s up, Rachel? You hate feeding Buddy. You always complain because he jumps up and licks your face.”

Rachel blushed. There was no way she could tell Jacob that she knew he was sick. If Mom hadn’t told Aunt Karen about it, Rachel wouldn’t have known the truth either. She felt sure that Mom hadn’t told Jacob he was dying. If he knew, he wouldn’t be acting so cheerful.

Rachel touched Jacob’s arm. “I—I just want to help you, because I—” She swallowed around the lump in her throat, hoping she wouldn’t cry. “Be–because I love you.”

Jacob stared at Rachel for a long time. Then his face broke into a wide smile. “If you really want to feed Buddy, then it’s fine with me. I’ll go to my room and read a book.” He patted Rachel on the shoulder a couple of times. “I love you, too, little bensel.”

I
’m thirsty. Would you get me a glass of water?” Jacob asked Rachel when he entered the kitchen the following morning.

Normally, Rachel would have said, “Get it yourself.” However, since Jacob was on the brink of death, she figured she should do what he asked. Rachel smiled and said, “Jah, sure, Jacob. I’d be happy to get you a glass of water.”

“Danki.” Jacob pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. “I sure feel tired this morning. Wish I didn’t have to go to school,” he said with a yawn.

“Actually, you won’t be going to school this morning,” Mom said. “You have an appointment with Dr. Adams, remember?”

Jacob stretched his arms over his head and yawned again. “Oh, that’s right; I forgot.”

“If you’re not feeling well enough to go to school after your appointment, you’ll come home with me,” Mom said.

Jacob nodded. “By then, I’ll probably be more tired than I already am.”

Rachel’s heart went out to Jacob. She couldn’t imagine what he must be going through or how bad he felt.

Waaa! Waaa!

“It sounds like your little sister is awake and needs to be fed.” Mom patted Rachel’s shoulder. “Since Jacob won’t be walking to school with you this morning, I’ll ask Grandpa to hitch his buggy and take you there.” She hurried from the room before Rachel could respond.

I wish Mom would stop treating me like a boppli
, Rachel thought.
She let me walk to school by myself a couple of times, so why not today?

She hung her head.
I guess I shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts. Mom’s worried about Jacob. She’s probably worried about me, too
.

“Where’s my glass of water?” Jacob asked impatiently. “I’m really thirsty.”

Rachel hurried to the sink and filled a glass with cold water. When she handed it to Jacob, she noticed how tired he looked. Maybe he was doing too much and needed to rest more. Maybe when Jacob saw the doctor today, he’d be told to take it easy. And maybe, if Rachel kept doing all of Jacob’s chores, he would live a little longer.

As Rachel traveled to school in Grandpa’s buggy, all she could think about was Jacob. She couldn’t imagine how things would be without him. She’d have to go to school every day by herself. She would miss playing in the creek with Jacob on hot summer days. She would miss jumping on the trampoline with him, too. She might even miss Jacob’s teasing and calling her “little bensel.”

Rachel swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump she felt in her throat. She wouldn’t be the only one who’d miss Jacob if he died. Mom, Dad, Henry, Esther, Rudy, Grandpa Schrock, Grandpa and Grandma Yoder, Jacob’s friends at school—even Buddy would miss Jacob. How sad that baby Hannah would grow up never knowing her brother Jacob.

Clip-clop. Clip-clop
. The horse whinnied and plodded slowly up the road.

Grandpa clicked his tongue and shook the reins. “Get up there, boy! If you don’t get moving, you’ll make Rachel late for school!”

“I won’t be late. Riding in the buggy is much faster than walking.” Rachel glanced over at Grandpa. Did he know about Jacob’s condition? Should she say something about what she’d heard Mom say to Aunt Karen the other day? Maybe it would be best to keep quiet. If she said anything to Grandpa, he might accuse her of eavesdropping and gossiping.

Maybe I should mention Jacob’s name
, Rachel thought.
If Grandpa already knows that Jacob is sick, he might say something about it to me
.

Rachel leaned closer to Grandpa and said, “Have you noticed anything different about Jacob lately?”

“Nothing special.” Grandpa shrugged. “Although he does seem to have grown a few inches over the summer.”

“Uh-huh.” Rachel sat quietly for several minutes. She decided to ask another question. “Does it seem to you like he doesn’t have much energy these days?”

Grandpa gave the reins another good shake. “You mean my lazy
gaul
[horse]?”

“No, I mean Jacob.”

“Can’t really say for sure. Guess you’d have to ask your daed that question, since Jacob worked in the fields with him and Henry all summer.” Grandpa tugged his beard. “Jah, your daed’s the one to ask about Jacob all right.”

Rachel leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.
This conversation is getting me nowhere. Either Grandpa doesn’t know anything about Jacob being sick, or he doesn’t want to talk about it. I need to talk to someone about this, but who can I trust not to say anything?

“Whoa!” The buggy lurched, and Rachel’s eyes snapped open.

“I hate to wake you from your nap, but we’re here,” Grandpa said with a wide grin.

“I wasn’t sleeping, Grandpa. I was thinking.”

He chuckled and patted Rachel’s arm. “You’re a daydreamer, same as your mamm used to be when she was a maedel.”

Rachel couldn’t argue with that. She did like to daydream. It was fun to imagine herself going places and doing things she hadn’t done before.

She reached down and grabbed her backpack and lunch pail from the floor of the buggy. “Danki for the ride. See you after school, Grandpa.”

He nodded and smiled. “If your mamm and Jacob don’t get home from Jacob’s appointment before school lets out, I’ll be back to pick you up this afternoon.”

“Okay.” Rachel hopped out of the buggy.
If Grandpa knows Jacob went to see the doctor today, then he must know that Jacob is sick
, she thought.
I think maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it because he doesn’t want me to know. Everyone else in the family probably knows. They haven’t told me because they think I’m too young to understand. I’d hoped after Hannah was born that they’d realize I’m growing up, but, no, they think I’m still a boppli
.

As Rachel headed for the school yard, she spotted Audra standing by the swings.
Maybe I should talk to her about Jacob
, she decided.
I can’t keep the horrible news I’ve learned about him to myself any longer
.

Rachel dashed over to Audra. “I—I need to talk to you,” she said, clasping Audra’s arm.

“What’s wrong?” Audra asked. “You look
umgerennt
[upset].”

“I am upset.” Tears welled in Rachel’s eyes. “Jacob’s sick and might not make it. He’s not here today because Mom took him to see the doctor.”

Audra’s eyes widened, and her mouth formed an O. “Ach, that’s baremlich!”

“I know it’s terrible.” Rachel sniffed and swiped at the tears trickling down her cheeks. “Sometimes I get upset with Jacob when he teases me, but I still love him. I—I don’t want my bruder to die.”

“No, of course you don’t.” Audra gave Rachel a hug. “I wouldn’t want my bruder to die, either.”

“Please promise you won’t—”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

“There’s the school bell. We’d better get inside.” Audra gave Rachel’s arm a pat and hurried away before Rachel could finish her sentence.

I hope Audra doesn’t tell anyone what I told her about Jacob
, Rachel thought as she blew her nose and trudged up the schoolhouse stairs.

“Good morning boys and girls,” Elizabeth said after the scholars had taken seats behind their desks.

“Good morning, Elizabeth,” everyone said.

Audra’s hand went up.

“What is it, Audra?” Elizabeth asked.

“Jacob Yoder’s not here this morning because he went to see the doctor.” Audra looked over at Rachel and said, “Tell Elizabeth what you told me about Jacob.”

Rachel’s heart pounded as she shook her head. She hoped Audra wouldn’t repeat what she’d said.

“What’s this all about?” Elizabeth asked, moving closer to Audra’s desk.

“Jacob’s sick and might not make it,” Audra blurted.

Elizabeth’s forehead wrinkled, and she looked over at Rachel. “Is that true?”

Rachel nodded slowly as a lump formed in her throat. Now the whole class knew. They were all looking at her with sympathy on their faces.

“I had no idea Jacob was sick,” Elizabeth said. “What’s wrong with him, Rachel?”

Rachel shrugged. “I–I’m not sure. I just know that he’s sick and might not make it.”

“I’m real sorry to hear this.” Elizabeth’s eyes looked watery. Rachel wondered if her teacher might break down and cry in front of the whole class. Rachel hoped not, because if Elizabeth started to cry, then she’d end up crying, too.

Elizabeth moved over to Rachel’s desk. “As soon as we’re done with the morning songs and have said the Lord’s Prayer, I’ll have everyone in class make Jacob a get-well card.”

A get-well card? Oh no
, Rachel thought.
Now Mom will know I was listening to her conversation with Aunt Karen
.

When Rachel arrived home from school that day, her stomach felt as if it were tied in knots. Jacob hadn’t come to school at all today, which made her think he’d probably gotten sicker. To make matters worse, Teacher Elizabeth was planning to come over this afternoon with the get-well cards the scholars had made. Once that happened, Mom would guess that Rachel was the one who’d told. Then Rachel would be in trouble for eavesdropping and gossiping.

“You can go up to the house to change your clothes and have a snack while I unhitch the horse and get him put away,” Grandpa said. “Then after you get your homework done, I could use your help in the greenhouse.”

Rachel nodded. Maybe she’d be working in the greenhouse when Elizabeth came over with the get-well cards. That would keep her out of trouble with Mom for a little while.

Rachel hurried into the house and slipped quietly upstairs to her room. When she’d changed out of her school dress, she took her homework out of her backpack and flopped onto the bed.

She’d just opened her spelling book when she heard,
Tap! Tap! Tap!

“Rachel, are you in there?” Mom called through the closed door.

“Jah, Mom. I’m getting ready to do my homework.”

“Come down to the kitchen to do it,” Mom said. “I’ve got some fresh fruit cups and milk waiting for you.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Rachel stayed on the bed a few minutes longer, thinking things over; then she finally gathered up her spelling book and left the room.

Downstairs, she found Mom and Jacob sitting at the kitchen table. Mom had a cup of tea, and Jacob had a glass of milk. The left side of Jacob’s face looked kind of puffy. His eyelids looked heavy, too, and his shoulders were slumped. He didn’t look well at all!

Rachel touched Jacob’s shoulder. “I—uh—want you to know something.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“I’m sorry for anything I’ve ever said or done to upset you.”

Jacob leaned back in his chair and looked at Rachel with an odd expression. It made her want to cry and beg him not to die. “What’s wrong with you, Rachel?” he asked, tapping her arm. “Are you
grank
[sick]?”

“No, of course not. I’m just real sorry that you—”

“Oh look,” Mom said as she peered out the kitchen window, “your schoolteacher’s here.” She looked at Rachel and frowned. “You didn’t do anything wrong at school today, did you?”

Rachel gulped. She had done something wrong. She’d blabbed to Audra about Jacob being sick, and then Audra had told their teacher. Now Elizabeth was here, probably with the get-well cards the scholars had made for Jacob.

Rachel figured she’d better explain things before Elizabeth came inside, but before she could open her mouth, Mom rushed out the door.

“I need to tell you something,” Rachel said as she stepped onto the porch behind Mom.

“Later, Rachel. I need to see what your teacher wants.” Mom hurried down the steps and out to Elizabeth’s buggy.

Rachel quickly followed.

“Hello, Rachel,” Elizabeth said as she stepped out of the buggy. “Did you tell your mamm that I’d be coming by this afternoon?”

“Uh, no. Not yet,” Rachel stammered.

Mom looked down at Rachel. “You knew Elizabeth was coming by and you never mentioned it?”