Grounded (Grounded #1) (4 page)

I could already read his next move, which, on the one hand, made me feel like he had yanked an imaginary cord attached to my belly button, drawing me closer to him. On the other, it let me know that I was as good at reading people as I thought I was. His hands cupped the sides of my face as he moved in slowly.

When our lips met, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to get lost in his softness and the burnt sparkler smell that coated his skin from helping the smaller kids ignite theirs. The kiss was too tame for the way I was feeling, yet it still made my knees shake. It ended too quickly.

“I swear I didn’t plan that,” he said, resting his forehead on mine, just a touch out of breath.

“Be fine if you did.”

Another quick peck and I was on my way. I drove up the dirt road slowly so I could watch him in the rearview. He didn’t walk away until I was far away.

Chapter Five

Two boys in two days. I didn’t come to Putnam Valley for boys, but the longer I stayed, the less I wanted to go home. Disappointment, possible punishment and a society on the brink of war waiting for me wasn’t exactly drawing me back in. I had two cute boys to occupy my time. Both liked me, both were great kissers. With Jensen, I got to see what it was like to be human, something I never thought I wanted, or even considered to be potentially enjoyable, until I met him.

Unfortunately, being with Aric didn’t automatically mean I got to be myself. I wasn’t ready for him to know everything about me, my powers, and what my people can do if he didn’t know already.

To be fair, I hadn’t given Jensen the opportunity to know all of me either. I was always myself with him, minus all the Gremalian stuff. Eventually, I had to stop kissing one of them. They’re friends—I mean, actual, real friends. That’s quite unusual for a Gobel. They don’t make friends easily, which is why their society is as contained as it is and their only interaction with outsiders, for the most part, came in the form of war.

The next weekend, the three of us decided to go to Putnam Lake. Together. As if it was totally normal to hang out with two guys you were dating. Yeah, no big deal. That was when I first noticed the bond that I’d always heard about where Gobels were concerned.

Legend had it that it was incredibly difficult for a Gobel to make friends with someone outside their own community, but once they did, it was a lifelong bond. That legend came to mind on the ride to the lake in Aric’s truck. Jensen seemed a bit uncomfortable and Aric was totally normal, joking with me and Jensen as if we were the three musketeers or something. That could have meant that Aric was being as mature about the situation as Jensen was. Or it could mean that Aric’s friendship with Jensen meant as much to him as dating me. I wasn’t sure which one I wanted it to be.

The old rust bucket Aric bought once he got to Putnam Valley rambled over the dirt road that lead to the swimming side of the lake. The other side was taken over by boaters, probably more inebriated than they should have been while operating such machinery.

The beach had already gotten pretty crowded, which wasn’t surprising considering the day had turned from warm to almost scorching before noon. Girls working on their tans in some of the skimpiest bikini’s I’d ever seen covered the sand. The guys watching said girls created a barrier between us and them.

We set ourselves up far away from the others. Jensen dropped the cooler full of drinks and snacks, then made himself at home right next to me. There I was, once again, literally in the middle of the guys. When they took their shirts off, I was left feeling self-conscious because I had to actively try not to drool over how sexy they were. I’d worn a two-piece swimsuit, not a bikini, and they were all hard abs and muscles. I always preferred the more classic styles of bathing suits. Those from the 1940s were my favorite.

Aric ran into the water, disappearing into the lake before I even turned around. I took a seat on the blanket and started putting on sunscreen. I definitely didn’t want to bake myself golden like most of the girls around me intended to. I liked a tan only through the sunscreen.

“Want help with your back?” Jensen asked, handing me a bottle of water.

I nodded. His strong hands were on my skin before I’d had the chance to prepare myself. He rubbed the lotion in slow circles. I had to close my eyes to contain the warm, fuzzy feelings spreading through my body. After covering my back, he went to my shoulders and then down my arms. I’d already taken care of my arms, but I certainly wasn’t going to tell him that. I wanted to feel the warmth everywhere, forgetting, for a second, that we were in public and not alone.

“You’re seeing him too. I’m right, aren’t I?” he said quietly as he continued to rub the sunscreen on my skin.

Jensen caught me by surprise. I figured he knew that I was dating both him and Aric, that it was something the three of us knew but didn’t mention. I preferred it that way.

“We don’t talk about you, but I’m not blind,” he said.

“Does that bother you? That I’m dating two people at the same time?” I asked him.

“Well, I don’t love it, but we don’t own you and I have a feeling either of us acting like we do would be a bad thing.”

I narrowed my eyes at him over my shoulder. “It would be a very bad thing.”

“You know you can’t do this forever, right?”

“I know,” I said quietly. I knew that, eventually, somebody’s feelings would get hurt or this blossoming alliance between the three of us would crumble. Neither outcome made me feel good.

“What are you guys up to?” Aric broke into my very pleasurable moment and Jensen’s hands were gone in an instant. Jensen didn’t seem the type to do the PDA thing, not even in front of his friend, especially since we hadn’t defined our relationship. That really needed to go on the to-do list.

“Just making sure my bases are covered. I’d hate to miss a spot and get a sunburn.”

I smiled up into Aric’s shadow. I couldn’t see him at all because he was blocking the light, like an eclipse.

“I bet.” Aric’s response got him a sunscreen bottle to the shin.

The lazy afternoon went by far too quickly. Just past dinner time, I was ready to go. We’d snacked the day away, so I needed some proper food. A dull ache had started in my forehead, the first sign I’d spent too much time in the sun.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that Aric went out of his way to drop Jensen off first. Logically, I should’ve been first, but he’d gone around the back way, which took ten minutes longer, to magically pull in front of Jensen’s apartment.

With a quick good-bye and a second look at me, Jensen made a quiet sound of frustration at the back of his throat before he jumped out, grabbed his bag and cooler from the back, and headed in. I didn’t move over, though I probably should have. I was becoming addicted to the warm prickling that Aric gave me. I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

“So, you’re taking another shortcut?” I asked as he turned in the complete opposite direction of the motel.

“Yup. Hey, you two had some alone time at the beach. I figure it’s only fair.”

I gave him a smile and shook my head. Halfway back, he grabbed my hand, not letting go until we arrived back at the motel. We talked along the way and I learned that not only did Aric have the whole treason thing hanging over his head, but he was also turning his back on his entire family.

***

The next day, as we lay on his couch and the sun began washing the room with orange hues, Aric told me, in hushed whispers, that some of his brothers were in on his plan and that I shouldn’t even worry about the rest of it.

That was what convinced me to abandon my plan of winning the war and get on board with Aric’s plan to stop it in the first place. It was also the night that I decided I couldn’t continue seeing them both much longer. If I kept it up, the whole thing would just get harder.

Instead of just hanging out that night, Aric suggested we go for a run. I wasn’t sure if he could feel the electricity building up in me, which could be dissipated with physical exertion, or if he just wanted to get out of the house. Either way, it was a good idea.

In all, I think we ran six miles. I pushed myself pretty hard. Aric kept talking while he ran, never running out of breath, so I knew he could go faster. I made a mental note of his speed, just in case all Gobel were that fast. I was able to explain everything as we made our way around the outskirts of town. Hell, if we were going to make peace happen, he’d have to know how to play his cards.

Jensen’s father used to be head of The Council and was extremely powerful, even more than my dad. Hopefully, those powers came to rest in Jensen, although no one would truly know until we got him back home. Given a few hushed conversations that I overheard, I had the sneaking suspicion there was more to the story than what I knew.

“A more powerful Gremalian than most of us have ever seen? That’s something we wouldn’t be expecting,” Aric said.

“I know. What did you think your people were worried about?”

He shook his head. “All I knew was that The Council has always feared someone returning on your side. That’s why I started to dig and how I found out about your former leader, but I couldn’t find anything about the leader’s kid, which I thought was weird. If I had to guess, I’d say I got here the same way you did. I just did it first.”

Of course he got here first. I groaned to let him know I didn’t appreciate him pointing that out, but he most likely didn’t have an overbearing father holding him back.

We curved around, completing a circle of the town, and went back to his apartment to rest. I went inside for a drink. Neither of us looked like we’d just run miles; we’d barely broken a sweat. After chugging down the cold water, we both got very quiet. The small room closed in on us. I could smell the musk he’d been emitting since we started the run, a deliciously sweet aroma that I’d struggled to ignore. We dropped our bottles and met in the middle of the room.

When our lips met, Aric lifted me off the floor. The prickling that accompanied being near a Gobel made everything more intense, causing me to shudder. He took me to the couch in the living room. His mouth never left mine, his tongue brushing my lips, asking for permission that I willingly gave, an assault of knee weakening kisses.

I tried really hard not to compare him to Jensen and keep my head in the moment. No matter how hard I tried, Jensen was always somewhere lurking in the corner.

His hands started up my shirt, stopping to squeeze the sides of my rib cage. His skin on mine felt warm enough to melt my insides. When I pulled back, his lips moved to my neck, making a trail to my collarbone, then over to my shoulder, not missing a spot. It felt good, but if he was kissing me and I was thinking of Jensen, that meant something. I didn’t think about Aric when Jensen kissed me.

“Aric…” I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. “Aric!” I said louder. I pushed against his chest.

“What’s wrong?” His face was so close I had to sit up to put some distance between us.

“Nothing, but we need to stop.”

“Why?” His eyes narrowed. I dropped mine as an answer, hoping he’d figure it out and I wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“Ah…” He sat up as well. “Jensen?” I nodded.

He groaned. “He watches you when you’re not looking and he’s said a few things.” Warmth rose up my face until I felt I was covered by it. “Vague things, but I think I get the picture.”

He scooted to the right, farther away from me. Instead of trying to deny anything regarding Jensen, I got up and headed to the door to leave.

“You’ll have to choose eventually, Alyssum.” He was suddenly right next to me, his breath warming the side of my face, sweet and hot. “I just want to make sure you know that I’m one of the choices.”

My eyes met his, chocolate and kind. I could get lost if I wasn’t careful. Then he kissed me one last time, just a soft one on the lips, before I tore ass out of there.

Chapter Six

Since I wasn’t expecting anyone, the knock on my hotel room door took me by surprise. I tiptoed over to peek out the window in case it was Dad or Sage or just some random murderer. Standing there in the moonlight, Jensen couldn’t have been hotter. I snapped myself out of that mind-set. The last two days, I’d been trying to think of Jensen and Aric in more objective terms. Yeah, it wasn’t working out so well.

“Hey.” I swung the door open with a smile.

“Hi.” He looked me up and down and I was suddenly thankful that I kept the cute shorts and lacy, pink cami on instead of changing into a pair of ratty old pajamas. “Sorry to just drop by.”

“That’s okay,” I gave him a flirty smile, “but if you think you can just come to my hotel for a—”

He shook his head quickly, cutting me off. “I wasn’t thinking that.” He was almost too easy to tease and I loved that about him. Wait, there were things I
loved
about him? Oh, man, I was in trouble.

“I’m just messing with you. What’s up? Do you want to come in?”

I moved aside and swung my arm as further invitation.

“Now I don’t.” He tried to cover his embarrassment with a scowl and it made me smile. Just the fact that the situation made him uncomfortable confirmed how much he liked me.

“I came to see if you want to go for a ride.” I dropped my jaw and widened my eyes, pretending to be shocked. “I mean on my motorcycle. Geez, you make things hard.”

I smirked and it took him a few seconds to get why. A smile played on his lips, then the rest of his face dropped. Jensen turned a nice shade of pink, like bubble gum, before backing away from my door to leave. “I think I’m just going to leave now.”

“Wait, Jensen, wait,” I said through fits of laughter. I shoved the room key in my back pocket and grabbed the pink sweater that went with the cami to run him down. It wasn’t a particularly cool night, but I thought the sweater might come in handy when speeding down the highway on the back of a motorcycle. When I caught him, he was already sitting on his bike, about to take off.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’d love to go for a ride. I’ll be good, I promise.”

That time
he
smirked. “No one said you had to be good.”

Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth. Though I took him off guard, he responded in kind. My hand went to the side of his neck as I pulled away. I held his gaze for as long as possible. He handed me his helmet, started the bike and we roared off into the night.

I don’t know how long he drove with my arms wrapped tightly around him, my body pushing against his back. It wasn’t long enough, as far as I was concerned. I rode with my eyes closed—stupid girl.

At some point, we stopped. He didn’t move at first and I didn’t notice that the bike was no longer running. I finally realized he was waiting for me to get off first, so I did. I pulled the helmet off and saw we were at a park with a small pond. The swings moved in the breeze like they carried the ghosts of the children who played there. The moon reflecting in the rippling water was peaceful and beautiful.

“Is this a play date?” I handed him the helmet and he swung a leg over to stand up. “I mean it’s beautiful, but—”

“It’s quiet.” I felt his eyes on me. “We can go somewhere else.”

I started to slowly walk toward the swings. They’d always been my favorite when I was a kid, back when I could swing higher than any of my friends.

“I’m just kidding,” I said over my shoulder so he’d follow.

“Do you always do that?” I threw him a questioning look. “Joke about everything.”

“Not always.”
Honesty, Alyssum,
“But when I feel awkward I tend to. Defense mechanism and all that.”

“You, awkward? Please.”

I smiled at that. It was nice to know that my tough, confident exterior wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

We slowly swung next to each other, talking over the sound of lapping waves. Aric was right. Jensen was a great guy. I started to feel guilty, like I was manipulating him or something, but I wasn’t. I liked him from the start, and it just so happens he can help save my life and our people. He just doesn’t know it yet. How I was able to argue with myself, listen to him and make witty conversation was beyond even me.

After a while, we made our way back to his bike. He looked over to me after getting on first. It’s the only time we were roughly the same height, and something took over. I pounced, smashing my lips to his.
Real subtle, Alyssum.
I climbed on his bike and straddled him. When his hands cautiously slid up my thighs to rest on my hips, I felt his tongue on my mouth. My fingers pulled at his shirt just enough to allow my hands access to the silky, hard skin beneath. I didn’t even notice I was crushing our bodies together until his chest was almost against mine.

“Wow,” I said, pulling away. I was breathless. “Moms are right. You can’t trust a guy on a motorcycle.”

His eyes sparkled. His voice got low and husky. “You attacked me.”

“But you didn’t stop me.”

“Now, why would I do that?” He kissed me again, soft and chaste, yet his eyes were intoxicating. I couldn’t bring myself to close mine.

Damn it. I was falling…hard.

On the way home, I hugged him as he drove. My hands found their way under his shirt, just above the waistband on his jeans. A pinky finger may have slipped underneath. It was just one finger, but the motorcycle left the road. We skidded to a hard stop. He turned to me without getting off. There must have been a look of surprise on my face because, seriously, I hadn’t been prepared for the quick stop.

“Yeah, you can’t do that.” His face was totally serious and I couldn’t figure out what he was referring to. I hadn’t done anything, had I?

“What?”

“Your hands.” He looked me pointedly in the eyes. Oh, it
was
all my fault.

“Oh…sorry?” My apology came out as a question because I wasn’t really sorry. I liked that my touch distracted him, liked how he felt on my skin, but maybe I shouldn’t distract him with my touch while he was driving. Yeah, that might not be such a stellar idea. “Got it. Hands to myself.”

I held on to the side of the seat, leaning away from him.

“No, no. I want you to hold on to me, but on top of my clothes so I don’t kill the both of us.”

“Oh, you and your rules.” As soon as he sat back down, I wrapped my arms around him. I abided all of his rules and laid my head on his back. For a quick second, he folded one of his hands over mine, then returned it to the handle bar.

***

By midweek, the heat kicked in full force, adding enough humidity to make being inside truly uncomfortable. Being in the company of each of my “gentlemen callers,” as my grandmother would have called them, was so different. Enjoyable, yet different. Though I wasn’t the kind of girl to get confused about guys, confusion still settled in. Aric was causing me the most grief.

Since he was a Gobel, I don’t know what I was thinking, letting him get to me that way. Instead of sitting around the small motel room, its antiquated air conditioner humming loudly in the corner, I went to a movie. I hadn’t seen one in quite a while. New releases don’t really make their way to my part of northern Michigan. Even better, I get to mooch off the theater’s cool air. Win-win.

After paying admission and getting a cold diet pop, I went in and found a seat. Then I saw Jensen. He stood there with a sort of surprised look on his face, which I didn’t understand at first, so I put on my best smile and went over to his end of the aisle on the other side of the theater.

“Hi.” I made sure to catch his eye in hopes of figuring out what his weird reaction was about. I’d been told my eyes are a great feature. I was really happy to see him.

“Hey.” Jensen shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight nervously, which confused me even more. “So, you found the theater.”

“Yeah, I passed it the other night.”

I had no intentions of mentioning I was with Aric at the time. Although I was supposed to be pulling back from both of them, and my time as center of the universe was coming to an end, I still didn’t want to flaunt one in the other’s face.

“I haven’t seen a movie in forever and didn’t have any other plans tonight,” I said.

I definitely wouldn’t mind having him next to me in a dark theater. He didn’t get the hint I was throwing, the one that said ‘hey, drop whatever dud friends you came with and sit with me.’ My whole body tingled with anticipation but…nothing. Damn.

“Yeah…” His voice trailed off while he looked around, avoiding my face.

Just then, a girl with legs as long as I was tall, chestnut hair and deep set eyes bounced up beside him, threading her arm through his.

“There you are,” she said in a child-like voice with a sing-song quality, the kind that made you want to stab someone with a fork. Her voice sounded as fake as the smile she threw once she took the time to notice me standing there.

“I’m Ashley.”

“Alyssum,” I answered.

I already didn’t like her and really hated what I was feeling. I could eviscerate her before anyone knew what was happening. I wouldn’t. Sometimes I wished I was more violent. That feeling had a name. Jealousy. I was jealous of some mousy girl for no other reason than she was with him. I’d never been jealous of anyone my whole life. It just wasn’t me.

“Um, anyway,” I said, somehow managing to keep the smile on my face, “I’m gonna go find a seat.”

“Enjoy the movie,” she chirped.

“You too.” Then I gave him a hard look, steeling myself against his blue eyes and the way they made my insides liquefy. “I’m just glad Aric showed me the other night.”

Why did I say that? It came out before I could stop it, but, in that moment, I wanted Jensen to feel what I was feeling. The look that flashed in his eyes let me know I’d succeeded. They each knew of my involvement with the other, though they never, and I mean never, talked about it. By how hard his jaw was set and the way his lips pressed together tightly, I knew that reminding him about Aric and me bothered him. I was such an idiot.

I moved through a group of people who’d sat in my row while I had my back turned until I collapsed into a red cushioned seat on an aisle all the way on the other side, halfway to the screen, which wasn’t actually very far from where Jensen was sitting with Ashley. The theater wasn’t large enough to offer me the distance I craved. Partway through, I felt eyes on me.

At first I brushed it off as ‘new girl in a small town’ curiosity since the feeling waxed and waned. Then I caught the person paying me too much attention.

Jensen was with his date in the row in front of mine, off to my right. When he looked at her, he could see me in his peripheral and even look at me full on without her noticing. I caught him once and our eyes locked. I knew I should look away immediately, but, for whatever reason, I didn’t.

Ashley leaned in to whisper something in his ear, which finally broke our connection. The fun of watching the movie and soaking up some free air wore off and I had to get out of there. Right as I hit the door to the street, he called my name. While instinct told me to keep walking, my feet didn’t listen. I halted where I stood. Now I was losing control of my own body?

“Alyssum, hey. Where ya going?”

“Home…the motel.” He nodded and didn’t say anything else. “You do realize you’re on a date, right?”

Jensen smiled that great smile he breaks out every now and then. Again, with the melty insides.

“Yeah.”

“So, what are you doing out here?” I asked.

“Officially using the restroom.”

He leaned his shoulder on the wall next to me, which just happened to keep us out of sight. We were blocked by a red velvet curtain. I noticed that he was hiding me. Back home, most guys would have announced to the world that they were close to me just because that meant they might be in good with Dad. Though I hated to admit it, it felt good not having to worry about the intentions of the people I was interacting with. I could get used to that.

“So, if you’re ‘officially’ using the restroom, what are you doing here with me in a dark nook of the movie theater lobby?”

“I have no idea.” He sighed. “Ashley—”

“You left a girl in there to come out here to talk to me about her? Wow. I guess I seriously misjudged a few things.”

I needed to get out of there before I did something drastic, like cry or punch him in the face. The latter was more likely, so I headed for the door. I had no right to be saying these things to him. No right, not when I had admitted an hour ago that I had been with Aric the other night. It was such a double standard and I wasn’t really mad at him anyway. I was mad at myself for feeling this way about him being on a date. I hated that he might have the same feelings when he knew I was with Aric.

“Alyssum,” he said, “you were on a date with Aric the other night?”