Groomless - Part 3 (5 page)

“No,” I said softly. “I’m only having a drink with him on the terrace for now.”

She shot me a confused look. “But he just proposed to you, didn’t he? I saw him put the ring on your finger and ask yes or no.”

“Long story,” Luke said.

She nodded. “Oh. Well, I sure wish a handsome man would slip something like that on my hand and ask me for a drink. I guarantee you I’d follow him farther than the terrace!”

Luke put his arm around my waist and led me to the terrace. His touch sent adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“You rescued me yet again,” I said.

“I did?”

“Yep. First, Kate kept trying to set me up with some of her model friends.”

“You mean those guys out on the dance floor, trying to twerk in their ascots?”

I laughed. “Yup. That was them.”

“Hmm. I thought they were all here, uh…with each other.”

“Well, as if that wasn’t bad enough, this perverted chef guy kept trying to hit on us. Kate put him in his place real quick though. She’s good at that.”

“I can leave if I’m killing your game,” he said, half-smiling. “I mean, if you’d rather pick somebody up off
Project Runway
…”

“No, please don’t. I’m glad you’re here, Luke, and I really do need to apologize to you about the cake thing. If I keep acting like a bridezilla during this whole farce of a reception, please just shoot me and put me out of all our misery.”

He laughed. “You’re definitely not that. And as for the cake, it’s okay. I got you good too.”

I laughed. “Yeah, you did. You took especially good aim with the devil’s food, and I found a piece of pineapple in my left ear when I got home.”

He blushed and batted his blue eyes at me. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I was just so overwhelmed with that ring on my finger and the two of us there together, tasting cake and acting like lovers. I liked it way too much, much more than I even care to admit to you. I know it wasn’t very long at all, but for those few minutes, I realized what I lost, and it hurt like hell, so I just sort of…lashed out.”

“I enjoyed our time together too. It made me realize, yet again, what an idiot I was to leave. I imagined us planning our wedding and having a blast together. I could’ve had all of that and more if I would’ve made a different decision. I was such a jerk.”

“We can’t change the past,” I said. “What’s done is done.”

“Where do you think we’d be now if we would have gone through with the wedding? I mean, I wonder if either of us would have had to give up our jobs.”

“I’m sure we would have found a way to balance our marriage and our careers. We’d probably have a house and a dog, maybe even a cat. Heck, I might even have a baby by now. No matter what, though, I’m sure we would have been…deliriously happy.”

“I can only imagine what it would be like to come home to you every night, to our big yellow golden retriever, our fluffy white cat, and our precious baby.”

“We’d probably argue over the dog’s name,” I joked, trying to lighten the moment.

“Probably, but you’d get your way in the end.”

I smiled and took a sip of my drink. “Something else has been bothering me a lot, too.”

“What? Tell me, JJ. You know you can always tell me anything.”

“If we would’ve gotten married like we planned, my dad would have had the opportunity to walk me down the aisle, to dance with me at my real reception, to hold his firstborn grandchild in his arms. All those dreams were dashed, for him and for me, and now he’ll never get the chance.”

“I didn’t even realize how much I was giving up until right now, and it feels like a huge punch in the gut. I took so much away, ruined so many things for you, for your dad, and for myself, and it kills me every day.”

“In all honesty, you couldn’t have had any idea. None of us did. We can’t control how life works out. Sometimes stuff just…happens.”

“I know you think I left just to follow my dreams, but it was so much more than that. It really was to equip myself to be able to give you the life you deserved. We both grew up so darn poor, without two pennies to rub together. I couldn’t even afford to buy you a ring. If we would’ve gotten married then, we would have been even worse off. You deserve better, and I wanted to get out here in the world and make something of myself for you, for both of us. I wanted us to have a better life, wanted to be able to do better for our kids than our parents could do for us. I mean, I know our parents love us and all, but I wanted to give our babies more. I never thought you’d give up on me, just stop talking to me and cut me off like you did. I never wanted anything more than to be your knight in shining armor, to sweep you off your feet, but you just swept me under the rug because you thought I was being selfish.”

“What did you expect, Luke? You know, my mom loved all those old romance movies, like that Richard Gere and Debra Winger one.”

“
An Officer and a Gentleman
,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s the one. You’re such a movie buff.”

“So I’m a huge movie nerd. Sue me.”

“I could never afford the lawyers you can,” I teased, but my smile was short-lived as I continued, “Anyway, what did you expect me to do? Just go work at the local factory and wait for you to come back? Real life doesn’t work that way, Luke.”

“I told you when I left that I was doing it for us and that I wanted you to wait for me.”

“Yes, but you knew I wanted my own career. I’d told you time and time again about my desire to take my chances in New York, even though everyone in that small town told me I was crazy. Neither one of us wanted to stay in that suffocating place.”

“You’re right. We were drowning there, but don’t you see? That’s why, when I had a chance to work for the Trump organization, I had to jump on it. I didn’t want to leave you behind, but I had every intention of coming back for you as soon as I had us all set up for success. I just wanted us to have the dream life we’d always talked about.”

“I didn’t see it that way. I thought you were giving up on us. Even so, you had every right to take advantage of that lucky break. If I’d have had such a rare opportunity, I would have taken it too. I can’t blame you now, and I couldn’t blame you then. That was why I didn’t try so hard to stop you, as much as it hurt to see you walk away.”

“They liked me so much they sent me to school, and when I graduated, they offered me a job here in New York City. I’ve missed you for so long, Julia, thought about you for all these years. I thought my chance was gone, that I would never see you again. When I saw you through the window of that bridal shop, I couldn’t believe it was you.”

“Yeah, well, seeing you was a huge shocker too,” I said, circling my finger around the rim of my glass. “We’ll just have to settle for being friends now. Before all the dating and romance, we were so close. I miss that. I miss our friendship and being able to talk to you about anything and everything. We used to talk for hours and hours, about everything and nothing all at once. Not having you around about killed me. I’ve got some great friends now, but I’ve never really found anyone who could fill your shoes. You weren’t just my lover, Luke. You were also my best friend.”

“I still consider you mine. I’ve never loved any woman the way I love you.”

Those words hit me hard, especially since he said them in present tense, as if his love had never ended and was still ongoing. Like all women, I desired an all-consuming love, the kind of love that would trump everything else, and ours had been a passionate love affair, the kind of love fairytales were written about, the kind of love I couldn’t live without.

“What do you say then, Julia? Can we remain friends?”

“Of course, but will you still be my faux groom?”

“Only if you promise not to smash cake in my face,” he said, wearing a smile that was even more beautiful than all the stars and the city lights twinkling across the New York skyline.

“I can’t make any promises,” I teased.

We sat there and talked for hours, just like old times. I pushed past the pain and realized we could have a wonderful friendship if I would just let the bitterness go. I somehow managed to do just that, and by the end of the night, Luke had me laughing so hard I was doubling over and couldn’t breathe. I had missed those times so badly, and I didn’t want it to ever end again. I decided, right then and there on that terrace, that I could not again allow myself to lose the fabulous guy from a few doors down. In that moment, beneath a blanket of stars and bathed in moonlight that seemed to empower me to do so, I learned how to forgive. In an instant, as I gazed into his blue eyes dancing with silvery moonlight, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and I felt the wonder of being truly free.

Chapter 6

“What do you mean, we’re dress shopping?” I squeaked.

“I mean I’m sending a car for you, and we’re going to Saks.”

“Hell no! I’m renting a dress. This is a one-night special, Luke.”

“Actually…Saks is giving you a dress, and if you aren’t there to choose it, I’ll do it for you. You might wanna come along, unless you plan to party with a huge taffeta bow on your ass.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Correction. I sooo would. Now, be ready to go when your car arrives, milady.”

“I can’t believe you expect me to go wedding gown shopping with
you
, of all people.”

“If you want me to fake marry you, the least you can do is look nice as my fake bride.”

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“Be sure to do your makeup and hair.”

“What for? Tell me you aren’t putting me on
Say Yes to the Dress
.”

He chuckled. “Nope, but there will be a photographer there. It’s all part of the deal.”

“What for? I don’t want anybody taking pictures of my push-up bra and shit, Luke.”

“Hmm. Now that’s a photo shoot I’d like to see.”

I playfully slugged him with a smile. “Calm down and go thumb through a Victoria’s Secret catalog or something.”

He laughed again. “Actually, the photographer just needs some shots of you in the various dresses. My PR people tell me that America loves this whole fairytale thing. More importantly, it will be good press for Saks, which is why they’re donating the dress, and the stockholders will love it. Apparently, I have a reputation for being kind of a dick, so this should help my image.”

“It’s not magic, Luke. It’s only a dress,” I shot back. “I need to go grocery shopping and get a haircut. You hijacked my day without even warning me. I’m not sure I like all the responsibilities of pretending to marry New York’s latest golden boy.”

“Hey, you’re getting a free wedding gown from Saks. What girl would turn that down? You can deal, even if it means putting up with me and the media. As for your hair, I guarantee we can find a top-notch stylist to make it look even more beautiful. Let me call my secretary, and she’ll arrange it.”

“No, Luke. I appreciate all you’re doing, and I understand why, but you are
not
outsourcing my hair, putting it on the chopping block for the highest bidder,” I said, pulling my eyeliner out of the drawer.

I didn’t usually wear makeup unless I was going out, and at work, when I was constantly ramming my eye up against lenses or dealing with hot lights, it just got smeared or melted off anyway, leaving me looking like some sort of raccoon by the end of the day. From what Luke told me, I was about to be in front of the camera instead of behind it, and I certainly didn’t want to look like a pathetic, grieving daughter. My dad would see the pictures, and they were really all part of my final gift to him, so I had to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Thus, a makeover was in order, and I even borrowed some of Kate’s cosmetics, knowing she wouldn’t mind a bit. I couldn’t find the fake eyelashes, or I would have used them too. By the time I climbed into the Town Car, I could have auditioned for a drag show. I was entirely blushed, lined, mascara-ed, and glossed.

When I arrived at Saks and shouldered my bag, I felt a little intimidated. I didn’t frequent Manhattan department stores; I was far more of an Old Navy kind of girl, even though I was involved in fashion photography. I only owned one dress, a little summer number that cost fifteen dollars at full price. I had never felt comfortable among $700 purses and shoes that cost a month’s rent, and I was terrified I might break something or smudge it with a fingerprint and have to take out a loan to pay for it. For that reason, I quailed a little at the thought of going up to the Bridal Department, and no amount of eyeliner or glittery eyeshadow could have possibly prepared me for that.

The driver got out of the car and opened the door for me. When I just sat there, staring at the seat in front of me, the chauffer looked down and held his hand out. “Allow me, miss. I have been instructed to take you to the bridal salon.”

“Uh…thanks,” I muttered, feeling like I was about to have a panic attack as I clung to my Walmart special handbag that had no place being carried into Saks Fifth Avenue. I was worried I might burst into flames because I’d bought my shoes at Payless.