Groom Wanted (10 page)

Leah buttered her biscuit, smeared a dollop of the homemade pear preserves on it and took a bite. Cinnamon and nutmeg filled her taste buds as she chewed slowly, enjoying the sweet fruit and putting off the inevitable. Knowing she didn’t have much time before she headed to Jake’s, she put her biscuit down and drew in a long breath. “Mother?”

“Yes?” Mother put a spoon of stew into her mouth.

“I’m not sure how to tell you this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it, okay?”

Mother stopped chewing and looked at her. She nodded.

“A while back I placed an advertisement in
the
New York Times
.”

Mother swallowed with a gulp and reached for her water. “What kind of advertisement, sweetheart?”

Leah looked over at Abby, who nodded to keep going.

“For a husband.”

“What?” The glass clattered to the table and barely stayed upright. Mother closed her eyes and shook her head in a jerky motion. She opened her eyes and stared at Leah. “Did I just hear you say you placed an ad for a husband... in New York?”

“Yes, Mother. That’s what I said.”

“Why? Why would you do that, Leah? And why wouldn’t you ask me first?”

Abby picked up her spoon, suddenly finding interest in her stew. Leah wished she could do the same.

“Because I was afraid you’d say no, that’s why, and I have my heart set on moving back to New York.”

Her mother set her spoon down and wiped her mouth off with a napkin. “Why, Leah? Why would you do such a thing?” The anguish on her mother’s face flooded Leah with guilt.

“Because I miss New York.” She couldn’t tell her that she hated this place and why. Mother wouldn’t understand. No one would. So she dived into the other part of the story. “I knew the only way you and the boys would let me go is if I were married. So, I placed an ad, and I’ve received an answer.”

Abby’s spoon hit the table and she stared openly at her sister, soup forgotten.

“You—you have? From whom?” Mother’s face paled and she suddenly looked sick.

Even more guilt assaulted Leah. She honestly hadn’t thought her mother would take the news this badly. Yes, she knew she’d be upset but not to where it made her ill.

Bad as she felt, there was nothing she could do about it now, anyway. What was done was done. The man was already on his way. Besides, Leah didn’t want to stop him from coming. She might be a tad scared and a bit apprehensive, but she still couldn’t wait to meet Mr. Barrington and hopefully marry him. If she had to, she’d deal with consequences of that decision later. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “His name is Fitzwilliam Barrington, Mother. And he’s from England.”

“England!” Mother gasped. “You’re moving to England?” She waved her hand in front of her face, looking even paler.

“Mother? You okay?” Leah pressed her fist into her belly, which was twisting with torment for what she was putting her mother through.

“England?” Abby asked in horror. “You can’t move to England, Lee-Lee!”

“Mother? Are you okay?” Leah jumped from the table to assist her mother should she pass out, which was looking like a very real possibility at the moment.

Mother raised her hand to wave her daughter away. “I’m—I’m fine. Just shocked is all.”

Leah looked over at Abby, who didn’t look much better than her mother but still managed to send Leah a sympathetic shrug.

“Don’t worry, Mother. Abby.” Leah eyed both of them for a brief moment and resumed her seat, thankful she no longer had to stand on her shaking legs. “I’m not moving to England. Mr. Barrington moved to New York City recently and saw my ad.”

“So, you’re going to New York to meet him?” Mother’s words were spoken as if they were shards of broken glass.

Leah didn’t think her mother’s complexion could get any paler, but it had. More guilt dumped on her. “No.”

The tension in her mother’s face softened. “Oh, good. I’m so relieved to hear that.” She patted herself above her heart.

“He’s coming here with his sister. We’re going to get acquainted first to see if we are compatible. Then we’ll take it from there.”

Mother remained quiet. She pushed her half-filled bowl away from her and rested her folded hands on the table.

Leah didn’t know if she was praying or thinking. No longer hungry herself, she pushed her own bowl out of the way and laid her hands over her mother’s. “Mother.” She waited until her mother looked over at her. “Please don’t be upset. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you. I never meant to hurt you. But I am twenty-four years old. It’s time I found a husband. Everything will work out. You’ll see. I tell you what, Mother. If you don’t approve of him, then I won’t marry him. How’s that?” Leah couldn’t believe she was saying that. But she couldn’t stand to see her mother so upset.

“Leah, I know everything will work out only because I have just now given it over to God. But I am hurt that you didn’t discuss this with me first.”

Leah opened her mouth to respond, but Mother held up her hand. “I understand why you didn’t. I just don’t understand why you would want to leave me. Leave your family.”

She didn’t want to leave her mother or her family—just this place. The idea of leaving them hurt, but when she considered the nightmares and the guilt that haunted her, leaving her family was her only option. “Mother, this has nothing to do with you or with the family. It has to do with me. I’m sorry if you feel I’m doing this to you. I never meant it to be that way. I’m doing this for me. It’s something I’ve dreamed of for a long time. Besides, I’ll come back often. Mr. Barrington wants to travel, too. I’m sure he won’t mind traveling back here. Okay, Mother?”

Mother said nothing— She only stared at her. The minutes ticked by agonizingly slow until Mother finally spoke. “God’s will be done.” That was all she said. But it was the way she said it—with so much confidence and assurance— that made Leah nervous.

Judging from past experience, when her mother prayed, things happened—and not always the way her children had wanted them to. Mother prayed fervently for Haydon, and he’d done something he said he’d never do again—get married.

Mother prayed for Michael to love Selina, something he said he could never do, and then Michael fell deeply in love with her. Both were wonderful answers to prayer. Still, Leah couldn’t help but wonder how or what Mother was praying for her and why she had that knowing smile on her face.

“Oh, before I forget, girls—” Mother dropped a glance onto her and then one to Abby “—I won’t be here for dinner this evening. Mr. Barker’s invited me to dine with him.”

“You sure have been seeing a lot of him, Mother,” Abby said with a wide smile.

Her mother returned the smile with dreamy eyes. “Yes. Yes, I have.”

“Do you like him?” Although Leah hated the idea of her mother with another man, she had to know the answer to the question.

“Yes, I do. Very much so. In fact—” her mother picked up her coffee and took a drink before setting it down again “—I’m hoping our relationship will develop into something more very soon.”

Why did it suddenly feel like the situation reversed? Leah’s head spun with the thought. “You mean marriage?”

“Yes. I mean marriage.” Mother’s face glowed.

“That’s wonderful, Mother!” Abby jumped up and threw her arms around her.

Leah wished she could share her sister’s enthusiasm. Seeing her mother on Mr. Barker’s arm at Phoebe’s wedding had been hard enough, but to actually hear her mother say the
m
word... That she couldn’t bear.

Chapter Nine

J
ake sat on his front porch listening for the sound of horse’s hooves, but only the creaking of the rocker and an occasional bee buzzing by filled the quietness around him. That is, until Meanie started that frustrated bleating she so often did when he locked her in a stall to keep her out of trouble. Trouble. That was all the little critter had been since he’d taken her in. He could do nothing short of letting Meanie loose to fix that situation, but he’d never do that. Truth is, he’d grown kind of fond of the ornery goat.

He glanced at the copy of
Pride and Prejudice
sitting on his lap. Curious about what type of man Leah was interested in, he began to read. It was slow going, but determination prodded him on. The more he read, the more he wanted to slam the book up against the wall, to burn it, to do anything but read about some prideful, arrogant man who only cared about position, power and money.

All the things Jake despised in a man.

How could Leah be attracted to that? He shook his head in disbelief and bewilderment. Knowing Leah like he did, nothing about the kind of man she said she wanted or anything else was adding up or making any sense. Jake sent up a silent prayer for her, then glanced down the road to see if there was any sign of her yet. When there wasn’t, he continued reading to see if Mr. Darcy had improved any.

Ten pages later buggy wheels crunched on gravel and Banjo barked. Jake turned his attention to the road. Leah. He glanced at the book in his hand. Not wanting Leah to know he’d purchased
Pride and Prejudice
, he darted into the house and shoved the book under his pillow. Outside and down the steps he dashed, arriving just as Leah pulled her carriage in front of his house.

“Hi, Jake.” Abby greeted him with a smile and a happy wave. Before he had a chance to help her down, she jumped down from the buggy, crouched and rubbed her nose on Banjo’s.

“Howdy-do, Abby.” Jake turned his attention to Leah and offered her his hand. She shifted the reticule onto her wrist and laid her hand on top of his.

“Hi, Jake.” Those dimples made an appearance again.

He helped her down and released her hand. “You ready for this?”

“I sure am.” She looked pretty, all gussied up in her dress with the curly-tailed teardrop design. Paisley. That’s what he’d heard someone call the pattern, though he didn’t know much about material or dresses. It didn’t matter what it was, she looked beautiful in it. Of course, as far as he was concerned, she’d looked pretty in just about anything. Even an old, worn-out grain sack. Leah was a beautiful woman. A woman any man would be proud to have on his arm.

Before he allowed any more thoughts of her to enter his mind, he reined them in like he would a runaway horse and anchored his gaze onto the porch.
She’s here as a friend, Jake. To help you choose a wife.
Forgetting that again might be the death of him.

Side by side they climbed the steps. Leah stopped at the top of them and turned around, her dress swishing at her ankles. “Abbs, do you want to join us?”

“No. If Jake doesn’t mind, I’d like to go down to the barn and see Meanie.”

“That’s fine. Just don’t let her out of the corral. She’s a tricky one.”

“I’ll be careful.” With those words Abby scurried toward the barn with Banjo prancing at her side.

“Sure sweet of Abby to accompany you here every time.”

“It sure is. She says she does it because she likes your company, but I think it’s the animals’ company she likes most.”

“Think you’re right.” They chuckled.

He gave a yank of his head toward the door. “Wanna go inside or sit here on the porch?”

“Out here would be great. It’s too nice a day to be cooped up inside.”

“I agree. Let me just grab us something to drink and the letters and I’ll be right out.” He disappeared into the house and peeked back to make sure Leah couldn’t see him before he swiped his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans. What was with him today? Emotions he couldn’t decipher were whirling through his brain like a destructive dust bowl.

Jake hurried to get everything he needed. When he stepped outside, Leah was sitting in the chair with her reticule resting in her lap, rocking, staring out into the trees, looking every bit like she belonged there. But she didn’t. And never would. Not because he didn’t want her to, but because she didn’t want to be here. Her rejection still stung. But, no sense dwelling on that now— It was a well-traveled road that went nowhere.

“Here you go.” He handed her the letters, set their drinks on the stand between the two rockers and sat down.

Leah took a long drink of her water.

“Must’ve been thirsty.”

“I sure was. It’s so dry that on the way over here I think I swallowed a bucket of road dust.” She took another drink, then set the glass down.

“Jabber-jawed that much, huh?”

“Hey.” She reached over and whacked his arm with the backs of her fingers.

He chuckled at the smile twinkling in her beautiful blue eyes.

“Oh, before I forget, I have something for you.” She opened her reticule and pulled out three brand-new handkerchiefs and extended them toward him.

He glanced down at them and then his attention trailed to her face. “It ain’t my birthday today.”

“So.” She shrugged with a grin. Then she grabbed his hand, laid the handkerchiefs in his palm, folded his fingers over them and pushed his hand back.

Jake slowly opened his hand.

The initials
J.L.
stared up at him. “Um-hm.” He cleared his throat to choke back the rising emotion. He’d never had anything so nice before. He ran his fingers over the raised letters and was deeply touched not only by the detail, but also by the amount of time it must have taken her to make these. But how could he accept such a gift? He looked over at her. “I can’t accep—”

“You have to take them, Jake.” Leah stopped him. “There’s no giving them back. It’s your initials that are on them, so they belong to you. Besides, I don’t know any other J.L.’s to give them to. Sorry, mister,” she said, “but you’re stuck with them.” With a dramatic sigh that would rank right up there with one of Abby’s, she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, looking playfully smug.

Truth was, he really didn’t want to give them back. He’d treasure them forever. There was only one problem with them— They were too nice to use.

“All joking aside...” Leah sat forward. “Please accept my gift and use them until they look as worn as your old ones.”

His gaze flew to hers. Had she read his mind? “Not sure I can. Don’t want to ruin them.”

Leah wrinkled her nose. “Huh? But that’s what I made them for, for you to use. It would mean a lot to me if you did, Jake. It isn’t much, but it’s my way of showing you how special you are to me. I’ve never had a friend as wonderful as you before. Now—” she shook her finger at him “—if you don’t use them, I’m not going to help you with your letters. So, are you going to use them or not?”

Mischievousness snaked through Jake. Keeping his eye on her, with a quick snap of his wrist, he unfolded one of them, raised the kerchief to his nose and using his voice only, he pretended to blow into it. He folded it up, not so neatly either, then flashed her a smug smile. “Feel better?”

Leah tossed her head back and laughed. “I sure do,” she said when she stopped laughing. “Thank you, Jake.”

“No. Thank
you,
Leah.” The humor had gone from his voice, replaced with gratitude.

“You’re welcome.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, then Jake broke the connection. “Oh, how’d the talk with your mother go?” He picked up his glass and took a drink before setting it back down, being extra careful not to spill it.

Her dimples disappeared, and lines formed around her eyes.

“That bad, huh? Wanna talk about it?”

She nodded, then looked away, off down the road. “I felt so bad for Mother. I honestly didn’t think it would affect her the way it had. I thought she was going to faint.” She paused and drew in a deep breath. “I think Mother was mostly hurt that I didn’t say anything. But, when I told her he was coming here, she seemed to feel better about it, although she doesn’t understand how I could want to leave her or the rest of the family.”

He heard the melancholy in her voice and dipped his head to get a better look at her face. “That bother you, Leah? Leaving your family?”

“Yes. But not nearly as much as the idea of staying here bothers me.” She turned her attention back on him. “Know what Mother told me and Abby?”

He shook his head.

“That she likes Mr. Barker a lot and is in fact hoping for more than a friendship with him.”

“As in marriage?”

“Yes. Seeing her with Mr. Barker has been hard enough. But to actually hear her say she wants to marry him. Well...” Her fingers fiddled with the strings on her reticule. “I know we talked about this the other night... And maybe you were able to handle your mother getting married, but I’m not sure I can. I’m trying. Honest I am. But—but...” She slammed her eyes closed and frustration ripped across her face. “Aaaccck! I can’t stand this! I’m so tired of feeling this way. Tired of feeling guilty because of my emotions.” She uncrossed her legs.

His heart softened for her pain and the confusion she was feeling. He’d been there once, too, and it wasn’t a fun place to be. “It’s a normal reaction, Leah. But I promise you, it does get easier.”

She shrugged as if she had her doubts, which she probably did. All he could do was pray for her and be a friend for her. As long as he could, anyway.

“I’m just glad I won’t be here when and if she does marry Mr. Barker.”

Again he was reminded of her leaving, and it was like a gunslinger’s bullet to his chest. “Does your mother know how you feel?”

“No, and I would never tell her, either.”

“How come? Maybe it would help to talk to her about it.”

“No. No, it wouldn’t.” She shook her head. “Nothing would help me feel better about this. Nothing.” She raked in a breath and let it go. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s just too upsetting. Now.” She picked up one of the envelopes, slid her finger under the seal and pulled the paper out. “Let’s find you a wife. I’ll feel much better about leaving if I know my dearest friend is happily married.” The smile she gave him was a forced one because no dimples showed up.

At that moment, Jake silently sent up a prayer that God would give Leah grace and mercy to help her to deal with whatever decision her mother made regarding Mr. Barker. Jake’s attention shifted back to Leah when she started to read.

Dear Mr. Lure,

Your ad said, “When you write, tell me about yourself.” Well, my name is Blossom Pearson. I’m twenty-five years old, five foot nine and weigh 145 lbs. My hair is brown and my eyes are green. You didn’t say nothing about a picture, but I thought I’d send you one.

Leah stopped reading and peered into the envelope. “Sorry, Jake, I didn’t even see this.” She handed him a small picture without looking at it.

Jake’s eyes trained in on the woman in the photo. He had to admit she was a beauty. Stocky, too. Looked like she could handle just about anything. Something about the softness in her eyes drew him. He’d like to hear more about her. “What else she say?”

“That pretty, huh?”

Jake snapped his attention over to Leah. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Sure it doesn’t. If you say so.” She giggled. The dimples were back.

If she wasn’t a female, he’d smack her on the arm like she had done to him earlier. But she was definitely a woman. With all the right curves in all the right places. “Just keep reading, woman.”

She giggled again. “Okay. Let’s see.”

I was born and raised on a farm, so I’m used to hard work. And I’m strong as an ox. I can manage a plow, milk cows, garden, do canning, cook and do just about any kind of farm work that needs done. I’m real good with animals. Especially horses. Broke a few myself. Well, that ain’t exactly true. I think it was more like they broke me. Or maybe we broke each other.

Jake laughed. The woman had a sense of humor. That was good.

Well, don’t know what else to say except hope to hear from you soon.

God bless you through Christ our Lord.

Blossom

P.S. Yes, Blossom is my real name. If you want to know why, you’ll have to send for me to find out.

Leah folded the letter. “Jake, she sounds perfect for you.”

“Think so?” He searched her face for any kind of doubt.

“Yes, I do. I think you should write her right away.” A seriousness permeated her voice that hadn’t been there before.

“You do?” He had hoped she would at least show some sign of disappointment at the idea of his getting married. After all, once he did, their friendship would have to end. Neither of their spouses would allow them to continue on like they had been. Jake wondered if Leah had ever considered that, and if she had, how did she feel about that?

“Did you want to me to read the rest of these?”

He flipped his mind back to the task of finding a wife. None of the posts he’d gotten so far intrigued him like Blossom’s had. One thing was for certain—after hearing her letter, he knew he wouldn’t write to Raquel. He wasn’t even sure he’d write Blossom back, either. Or any other woman, for that matter. What he really wanted to do was to wait and see what happened between Leah and that Barrington fellow. Call him a fool, but somewhere deep inside of him, he still hoped for a chance for him and Leah to marry.

Not that it would ever happen, but he would hold on to that hope a little while longer. After all, Leah wasn’t married yet. In the meantime, he’d concentrate on finding someone else just in case things didn’t work out as he hoped they would.

Time and again, Jake had seen men and women marry for convenience, and somehow it had worked out. All he had to do was look at Michael and Haydon, who were both happily married. And although Jake would rather marry Leah, someone he knew and respected, rather than a total stranger, he knew better than anyone else that probably would never happen, so he needed to stop dwelling on it. Brooding on it would only lead to more heartache.