Grizzly Flying High (Air Bear Shifters 1) (3 page)

Amanda leaned back in her chair and shoved another fry in her mouth. “Well, if you need to hire someone to do marketing for you, I’m your girl. That’s all I did at my old job. But I did it for stuffy men in suits who always had their heads up the boss’s ass. After a while that kind of shitshow really wears on you.”

Amanda grinned and took another sip of her wine, and Sawyer wondered if her offer to work for him had been a joke. He sighed as the bartender set another whiskey in front of him. It must have been a joke, and, even if it wasn’t, he couldn’t give her a job. As much as he would love to have a beautiful, easygoing woman like Amanda around, she was fully human. And everyone else at the tour company was a grizzly shifter. The risk of exposing his clan members to the outside world would be too great if he hired a human employee to work closely with them day to day.

Sawyer glanced over at Amanda, who was taking a huge bite out of her burger, and he smiled. He loved a woman who wasn’t afraid to eat. Shifter woman usually had no problem stuffing their faces, but sometimes human woman got overly self-conscious about how much food they were eating, or whether people were going to think they were pigs if they ate too much. Amanda clearly wasn’t that type of woman. She had an appetite, and she wasn’t afraid to satisfy it.

Sawyer took another sip of whiskey, and let himself relish the feeling of excitement stirring within him. He knew the odds were against him for anything happening with Amanda beyond an evening of fun conversation. Still, he could at least let himself enjoy the rush of spending this time with her. What else was he going to do, anyway? Go back to his room and watch TV? Amanda was much more entertaining than a television show, and she made his heart beat at a thrillingly rapid pace.

If only he didn’t have so many responsibilities as alpha. And if only Amanda wasn’t so damn human.

Amanda laughed, again. Another deep, belly laugh that made her feel completely alive. She had lost count of how many times tonight Sawyer had elicited a response like this from her. When she’d sat down next to him at the bar earlier, she’d had no idea that he would turn out to have a personality that was just as gorgeous as his body. After weeks alone in the wilderness, Amanda had been craving a chance to have a conversation with another human. And Sawyer had definitely provided good conversation. But, more importantly, after years alone in her soul-sucking job, Amanda had been starving for the chance to have a real, meaningful connection with someone. And Sawyer had provided that, as well. His jokes, stories, and observations had been like a feast for her soul. For the first time in years, Amanda felt like someone truly
got
her. Like they were talking to her just for the sheer pleasure of talking to her, and not so that they could get some sort of in with her boss or some other career benefit from her.

Amanda and Sawyer had their faces pressed against the glass of the windows in her suite. The daylight in Alaska lasted a long time in July, but the sun had finally set and given way to a brilliant full moon, which was illuminating the snow-covered peaks beautifully. Sawyer was pointing out the different mountains, telling Amanda their names and recounting stories of times he had flown over them with everyone from a little old grandma on her ninetieth birthday trip, to a macho bodybuilder who hadn’t been able to handle turbulence and had been forced to use the barf bag.

Amanda turned her neck to the right to look at Sawyer. He was focused on the world just beyond the windowpane, and had launched into another story of one of his flying adventures. She was surprised at how tall he was. Amanda herself was tall, and it was rare for her to find a man who stood more than a head and shoulders above her like Sawyer did. For a moment, Amanda wistfully considered the fact that, if she had a boyfriend Sawyer’s height, she could occasionally wear heels to special events and not be looking down at her man. But as soon as the thought entered her mind, she pushed it away. She was unlikely to cross paths with him again after tonight, and he hadn’t done anything to indicate that he was at all interested in anything more than hanging out as friends for the evening.

Sawyer continued his latest story while Amanda admired his profile. She wished that she could get away with kissing him again, but she knew it was better if she didn’t. Inviting him up to her suite had been risky enough. She didn’t want to look like she was trying to make a move on him, and, hopefully, he understood that. But the bar had become increasingly crowded, and Amanda had started to feel suffocated with all the fancy suits and dresses surrounding her. It seemed a shame to sit uncomfortable in a jam-packed bar when she had this huge, comfortable suite at her disposal. She’d thrown out the idea of coming up here and ordering a bottle of wine through room service, and Sawyer had gratefully agreed. He didn’t seem like the type who enjoyed being in the middle of teeming crowds. He was too much of a free spirit for that.

Sawyer seemed to sense that Amanda wasn’t really listening to his story anymore, and he looked over to catch her staring at him. “What?” he asked, his eyes softening.

For a split-second, Amanda considered throwing caution to the wind and moving in to kiss Sawyer again. What did she have to lose, really? She would probably never see him again, so if he refused her advances, the sting wouldn’t be too bad. And if he was interested in having a little fun, well, they both might have an even more enjoyable night than they already had.

But Amanda stopped herself. Tonight had been magical. She had enjoyed good food, good wine, and good company. She hadn’t had a night like this in what felt like forever, and she didn’t want to cloud the memory by introducing physical pleasure. She didn’t want tonight to be about anything other than two souls, so different and yet somehow so similar, coming together and filling each other’s lives with laughter and happiness for one evening. So she shrugged in Sawyer’s direction, and smiled.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about how tall you are,” she said.

Sawyer chuckled. “I get that a lot,” he said. Then he glanced at his watch. “Oh, jeez. It’s well after midnight. I should get going and let you get some rest.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t have to get up early tomorrow or anything.”

“Still,” Sawyer said, walking to the coffee table and setting down his now empty wine glass. “I don’t want to be rude.”

Amanda let out an imperceptible sigh, sad to see their time together coming to an end but knowing it was inevitable. She followed Sawyer to the door, where he paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned to face her.

“Thanks for tonight,” he said. “I had a great time. It’s been a long time since I just spent hours talking and laughing like that with a girl.”

Amanda didn’t miss the fact that he had added “with a girl” to his sentence. Despite all of her lectures to herself about not doing anything further with Sawyer, she felt her heart beginning to pound. She noticed his eyes dropping to her lips, and she wanted nothing more than for him to sweep her into his arms and kiss her.

The room filled with electricity, and the air around Amanda seemed to almost crackle with the charge. She couldn’t concentrate on anything except Sawyer’s face, and the invisible connection between them that seemed to be growing stronger by the second. Sawyer slowly took a step toward her. When he was standing right in front of her, he seemed impossibly tall. Impossibly strong. He raised one hand and slowly traced his index finger down the right side of Amanda’s face. The simple, sweet gesture set her face on fire. A trail of heat followed his finger, and then radiated out to the rest of her body. Her breathing grew rapid and ragged as he slowly leaned in, his lips stopping mere centimeters from hers.

Their eyes met, and the look of passion and desire that filled his fierce, dark eyes took Amanda’s breath away. She held his gaze, full of wonder and wanting nothing more than for Sawyer to throw her down on the pristine couch in the middle of the suite and tear her clothes off. Feelings like this were a new experience for her. She had never been filled with desires this strong before. The force took her breath away, and she closed her eyes to try to regain her sense of gravity.

The moment her eyes closed, his mouth was on hers. Fiery heat and electricity flowed from his lips to hers, and Amanda felt herself being swept away by the feeling. In that instant, she finally understood what people meant when they said they “had chemistry” with someone. She lost herself in the feeling, wanting the kiss to last forever. But after a few glorious moments, Sawyer broke away. His eyes were blazing, but they looked sorrowful, too.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice husky and deep. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not?” Amanda asked. “That was pretty much the most incredible kiss of my life.”

Sawyer ran his fingers through his dark hair and took a step backward. “Mine too,” he said. “In fact, you’re the most incredible woman I’ve met in my life. But…”

Amanda waited patiently as he trailed off, but he didn’t continue. He stared up at the ceiling with a pained look in his eyes. “But?” she finally prompted.

“But I was born into responsibilities that I can’t abandon. Responsibilities that make a relationship hard. I can’t drag you into my life. You want to be free. To find yourself. I don’t want to get in your way.”

Amanda started to protest, but then stopped. She had promised herself that she would never compromise for a relationship. And if she had to beg Sawyer to take a chance on this, then she felt like she was compromising. As hard as it was, she stepped away from him and walked to the large desk in the corner of the suite. She picked up a pen, and wrote her email address and mobile number on one of the sheets of paper with the hotel’s letterhead printed on it. She folded the paper into a small square, then walked back to where Sawyer was standing, still watching her.

“Here,” she said, grabbing his hand and putting the piece of paper into it. “If you ever feel differently, you have my contact information.”

She folded Sawyer’s fingers over the paper, doing her best to ignore the feeling of electric heat that shot through her body when her hands came in contact with his. Sawyer looked down at the paper, then back at Amanda. He put the paper in his pocket, and then, without another word, he turned and walked out the door of the hotel suite.

Amanda watched him go, and watched the door swing shut behind him. Then she turned and leaned against the door, staring out at the room that now felt so empty.

“Get it together,” she told herself. “You barely even know him. You had a fun evening, so leave it at that and move on.”

But even as she said the words, she knew they weren’t true. She
did
know him. He was the person she had been searching for her whole life, and she had just let him get away.

* * *

The next day, as Sawyer began his preflight checks on his airplane, his mood grew progressively worse. The paper from Amanda, with her number written on it, was burning a hole in his pocket. He had grabbed it on his way to the plane, trying to decide whether he wanted to give her a call or not. He had talked himself into and out of the call about a dozen times already, and, finally, decided to just say to hell with it and make the call.

He whipped out his mobile phone, and started dialing the numbers on the paper, then hit the call button before he could change his mind. But before the call could connect, he heard someone calling out his name.

“Sawyer, buddy, how’s the weather? Everything looking good for an on-time departure?”

Sawyer cursed under his breath, then hit the end button on the phone, quickly shoving it back into his pocket. One of the guys from the corporate group had just shown up in the hangar, and Sawyer recognized him as the most talkative of the bunch. Odds were good that he would be chatting nonstop until it was time for takeoff. Sawyer sighed, and returned to his preflight checklist. Maybe that was the universe’s way of telling him that his first instinct had been right—his life wasn’t set up well for romance, much less romance with a full human.

“Weather’s looking really nice,” Sawyer answered, coming around the nose of the airplane to greet the man with a hearty handshake. “We can probably even take off a bit early, if you guys all want to.”

“That’d be good,” the man said. “We’re supposed to be staying at another nice hotel over in Kodiak, and I’d like to get checked in and settled for the night sooner rather than later.”

Sawyer nodded politely. “Sure thing. I should be ready to go in about a half an hour. We can leave whenever you guys want after that.”

The man smiled, and then excitedly began talking Sawyer’s ears off with a random list of facts about small airplanes, much of which was incorrect. But Sawyer let him talk and didn’t bother to correct him. It’s not like it was really hurting the guy to have wrong information in his head regarding the planes, and Sawyer had learned long ago that the best way to make his tour business thrive was to make the customers feel good about themselves. Talking about airplanes with a pilot clearly made this guy feel good, so Sawyer smiled and worked silently, never interrupting.

Sawyer wasn’t sure why these guys had even come up to Snow Valley. Their wilderness “getaway” had consisted mostly of PowerPoint presentations in the hotel’s meeting rooms. They had gone on one short “nature” walk, which had lasted less than half a day and had ended with a catered lunch in one of Snow Valley’s fanciest restaurants. These guys hadn’t seen much nature at all. In fact, they had probably seen more wilderness in their flight over than they had during their whole “retreat.” Now they were in a hurry to get back to their hotel in Kodiak. From there, they would probably head straight back to Anchorage and fly home.

It was a lot of traveling around for very little time actually seeing the wilds of Alaska. And yet, when they got home, they would probably tell all of their families and colleagues about how amazing Alaska was and how the time in nature had rejuvenated them. Sawyer shrugged to himself as the man kept following him around the airplane, merrily discussing the pros and cons of a certain type of single engine four-seater airplane. Whatever. At least the guy was happy.

Less than an hour later, all of the men from the group were on board, and Sawyer was speeding down the runway for takeoff. He could hardly wait to be home. Between Ben’s wedding and this trip, it had been several days since Sawyer had slept in his own bed. He could hardly wait to sink into its familiar softness and relax for a bit. He also had several business matters for the clan that he needed to take care of. Sometimes the strain of it all didn’t seem worth it. Life would be so much easier if he had a lifemate to support him in his leadership role. But Sawyer loved his grizzlies, and, no matter how much work it was to keep things running smoothly by himself, he wouldn’t trade being alpha for anything. His bears were worth it.

The flight back to Frost Peak was uneventful. Sawyer’s passengers were all in a jovial mood, and didn’t even seem to notice the amazing scenery passing by below them. Sawyer didn’t bother trying to point it out. If they would rather discuss upcoming accounting meetings than see views that many people only dreamed of seeing, well, that was their choice. After landing, Sawyer thanked the men for their business, and they heartily praised his flying skills. Then they climbed into their rental car to head back to Kodiak. It would have been faster for them to have had Sawyer pick them up and drop them off in Kodiak, but they hadn’t realized this at the beginning of the trip. They had rented a car to drive over before anyone could advise them otherwise.