Grinder (Seattle Sharks Book 1) (9 page)

When the song had ended and we were halfway into the next one, I sighed. His silence was enough to stall anymore pushing from me. I would not be the only one to work for this.

I pulled away from him, my shoulders drooping as I prepared to leave him standing there, half-hard, on the dancefloor.

I only made it three steps before he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back against him.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said, crushing his lips on mine, successfully stealing my breath and my will in one smooth flick of his tongue. He ripped his lips away. “Except for home with me.”

The words were an order, but his eyes asked a question.

“We’ll have the house to ourselves,” he reminded me after I hadn’t responded, a glimpse of vulnerability streaking across his eyes. As if there was ever a chance I would tell him no.

If he was going to take a step forward, I’d meet him there.

Hope bloomed in my chest, and undiluted
want
pulsed between my thighs. Not even want...
need.
I needed this man’s hands on me, his body above mine, needed him to appease the ache that had grown into an outright demand. Now was my chance, to finally have the night of my life with Gage, something I’d fantasized about for months. I could scream out his name with no fear of Lettie hearing.

“I have to tell Jeannine,” I blurted out and he instantly laughed.

“She has to know right this second? Don’t you girls usually talk about all that
after
the fact?”

I facepalmed myself. “No, ugh.” I chuckled despite myself, the tension coiling inside me relieved for a moment. “I have to tell her I found another ride home.”

His eyes lit up, brighter and hotter than the colored club lights pulsing above us.

Jeannine chatted with Warren, who’d taken my spot at the bar. I hugged her, quickly whispering in her ear the situation. She managed to only wink at me as I turned to leave, but I knew I’d have to dish tomorrow.

Butterflies flapped in my stomach as I climbed into Gage’s car, the few paparazzi outside snapping shots of us. I was used to it, but I’d usually always had Lettie with me, who shielded me with my purpose in her life. Without her—with just Gage and me in the car, heading to our home while she slept at Grammy’s—I was doused in uncertainty.

What if we did this and it really did ruin everything we’d built? What if we did this and I ended up just like all the other disgruntled bunnies? What if—

Gage reached across the space between us with his free hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. The gesture calmed my racing mind and fueled the passion burning in my heart for him.

Screw the
what if game
. I wasn’t missing my shot at something brilliant because of a stupid thing like fear.

We made it home unbelievably fast and Gage’s mouth was on mine before he opened the door. His strong hands tangled in my hair, angling me, holding me, making me a puppet to his demands, and my body trembled with delight as his kiss deepened. Gage knew exactly how to play my body. He pressed me against the stucco wall outside the front door, no question now about how much he wanted me. I hooked my leg around his hip, grinding against his hard length, the friction making him growl.

Without breaking our kiss, he managed to get the door open and grabbed my ass, hefting me up where I could do nothing but lock my ankles around his hips. He walked without a struggle inside the house, not bothering to flick the lights on as he headed toward his bedroom.

“Daddy?” Lettie’s soft voice echoed from the couch in the living room and Gage all but dropped me.

As I scrambled to find my footing, Gage steadying me, I contemplated how we had missed the car outside, though I reminded myself how distracting Gage’s mouth had been.

“I’m sorry, dear,” his mother said, returning to the room from the kitchen, a sippy cup in one hand and the digital thermometer in the other. “Scarlett has a bit of a fever.”

Gage was at Lettie’s side in a blink, who laid on the couch underneath the Shark’s fleece blanket she treasured. He pressed his lips to her forehead. “What do you need, baby girl?”

“Ice cream,” she said.

Gage whipped his head up to me, his eyes panicked and questioning. I shook my head, walking around the couch. Milk and fevers never went well for her. “It’s too late for ice cream, Lettie. How about I make you a smoothie?”

“Deal,” she said. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?” Gage ran his fingers through her hair.

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I don’t feel good.”

“Of course. I’ll put the Sound of Music on.” He kissed her forehead again, flashing me a look as he passed to get the movie set up in his room. I couldn’t tell if it was a look of regret or relief.

“I didn’t want to call you two, but she wanted to be at home,” Gage’s mother said. A flush raked my skin, wondering what would’ve happened if she’d caught Gage and me as we walked into the house.

“Thank you for bringing her. How high is it?”

“Mild. I gave her some Tylenol to help bring it down.”

I nodded, happy she’d done exactly what I would’ve. Of course she had, she was a mom. She kissed Lettie and grabbed her purse off the end table. “I’ll leave you two to it then.” She patted my shoulder and gave me a closed mouth smile before heading out the door.

Gage came back a few seconds later, scooping Lettie up. “Movie is all set.”

“Can Bailey sleep with us too, daddy?” Lettie asked, her eyelids heavy as she leaned her head against his chest.

“Only if she wants to, Lettie-Lou. She may want to sleep in her own bed.” He locked eyes with me, and a tiny piece of hope pulsed in my chest.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I assured her. “Just have to make your smoothie first.”

Lettie smiled, and Gage did too, right before he winked at me. I left for the kitchen, my heart swelling at the ease in which we shifted from
rip-each-other’s-clothes-off-mode
to
play-house-mode
.

We fit, and with each realization of how well we did, I fell harder and harder for him. It was like simply acknowledging the possibility had sent my emotions into overdrive. But if he didn’t let me in, if he didn’t open up enough to trust me not to burn him like his past, then it wouldn’t matter how much I cared about him, he’d ruin us. And even knowing that—I was still willing to take the risk because he—and Lettie—were beyond worth it.

I
stretched
my legs out in front of me as game tape rolled on the projection screen ahead of us. We were only a few days away from our showdown with Ontario, and Coach was killing us on these things.

“You know, this would be more fun at your house with a few beers,” Warren whispered from next to me.

“I second that motion. I say we follow through after this,” Rory chimed in.

“No can do,” I said, checking my phone for the time. It was already four-thirty. My girls were going to have my head if we ran much later.
My girls.
God, I loved the sound of that—loved the feeling of being a unit, a family. Most girls would have flipped their shit if we were halfway to my bedroom and she got cockblocked by Lettie. Instead, Bailey had gotten right down to taking care of my baby, and damn if that didn’t make my insides ridiculously tight just thinking about it.

“Got a hot date?” Rory asked.

“If you’re referring to my three-year-old as a hot date,” I answered.

“That’s it for tonight, Gentlemen,” Coach called off, shutting off the TV.

“Speaking of three-year-olds, what time is her party on Saturday?” Warren asked.

“It’s at one o’clock, and if you assholes are late I’m going to let her put you in princess dresses the entire party.” I leveled them with a glare. “Ask me if I’m kidding.”

“One o’clock. Got it,” Rory saluted me

“McPherson, can I have a word?” Coach asked.

Fuck me, Bailey is going to kill me.
“Absolutely,” I answered. “Catch you dumbasses later,” I said to the guys and headed over to where Coach stood in the doorway to his office. “What’s up?”

“How are you feeling about Saturday?” He asked.

My stomach turned over. “If you’re asking about my shoulder, I’m fine. It’s been fine. It will continue to be fine.”

“It’s not about the shoulder.”

Was he going to bench me? Let the rookie start? Hell no, I’d been playing my ass off. “Look, if you’re thinking of taking me off starter—”

He shook his head and clasped my shoulder. “It’s not about that, son. You’ve come back strong, maybe even stronger than you were before the accident. My concern is Adkins.”

“I can handle him.”

“I know you can, but we both know he’s an aggressive son of a bitch, and...well, I was here when Helen left. I know what it did to you...and to little Scarlett. I just need to know that your head is in the game, and not on everything else. No one would blame you if it wasn’t.”

I couldn’t be pissed. Coach was one of the few people I’d let see me after Helen left. He’d witnessed my deterioration first-hand. “I’ll be okay. I promise. Timing is shit with Lettie’s birthday, but it’s not like Helen is going to try anything. She hasn’t so much as talked to Lettie since she walked out a year ago. I’m keeping this on the ice, period.”

He looked into my eyes for a minute, searching for something, and then nodded. “Okay, then. I’ll see you on Saturday? What’s she into these days.”

“The Sound of Music,” I answered.

“Huh,” Coach’s eyes widened. “Not sure what to get her for that.”

“Yeah, sometimes I wish she’d just get into the Frozen stuff like every other little girl, but Lettie isn’t every other little girl.”

He clapped my back. “No, she’s not. Speaking of which, you’d better get home.”

“Yes, sir, I’m sure she’s chomping at the bit.”

I broke the speed limit driving home and made it home ten minutes faster than usual. The sun still hadn’t set, which meant I might be forgiven for not being home an hour ago. I parked in the garage and was running through the kitchen door before the garage door shut all the way.

“I’m home!” I called out.

“Daddy!” Lettie came sprinting in from the living room, dressed in the cutest little Austrian outfit I’d ever seen, complete with puffy sleeves and some kind of patterned overall dress. Her hair was done up in a crown of braids, and her eyes were lit with the kind of excitement that only Halloween could bring.

“Look how beautiful you are!” I said, scooping her up into my arms. “What a pretty dress.”

“It’s a dirndl! Bailey made  it for me!”

“Well, it’s almost as pretty as you are,” I promised.  

“You’re late,” she said, her eyes deeply stern.

“I know, Greta,” I said just as solemnly.

“I’m Gretl!” She corrected, her nose crinkling in laughter.

“You’re late!” Bailey called from down the hall.

“Uh-oh,” I whispered in conspiracy. “I’d better go before Bailey gets mad.”

“You’d better! We have to go soon!” Her little hands were on her hips, and she gave me the same exact look Bailey did when she was feeling stubborn. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, okay.” I kissed her nose and walked down the hall.

“Here,” Bailey said, thrusting a garment bag at me. “And hurry up!”

“Wait,” I said, seeing her full-length black dress with the striped apron that Maria had worn in The Sound of Music. “What about the other dresses she wears? The flowy sexy ones?”

She arched an eyebrow at me. Yup, that’s exactly where Lettie had gotten it from. “This is iconic. Now go!”

I raced upstairs and threw on the costume as quickly as possible as the doorbell rang. Shit. Trick-or-treaters were already out, which meant Lettie was about five minutes away from barging in and demanding her turn. This was the first year she was really old enough to understand the insanity of Halloween, and she was all about it. I couldn't wait to see how fun Christmas was going to be with her this year—decorating the tree, building gingerbread houses, baking with Bailey—

I stopped myself mid-button on the green, emblazoned blazer that looked like an exact match for Captain Von Trapp. I wasn’t just picturing tonight with Bailey, or tomorrow, or this weekend. I was picturing Christmas. Seeing major life events playing out with her and Lettie.

It wasn’t a coincidence that I now smiled as I drove home from work, knowing that both my girls were here waiting. Shit. I should be terrified, should be doubting, should be questioning everything I was leading us towards.

Instead, I was simply grateful for the ease at which everything seemed to fall into place. Yes, I wanted Bailey. But it wasn’t just the need to fuck her—which was my normal drive for thinking about any woman. I wanted her with me when Lettie was fevered, wanted her in the stands when I scored, wanted to sit and watch her paint with my daughter. I wanted everything that I’d forced out of my head as even an option when Helen walked out.

I wanted it all—the sex was just the bonus.

It was going to be a ridiculously hot bonus, I had no doubt. Hell, we were on fire the minute we touched, like two live wires that simply waited to spark, but it wasn’t just the attraction I had to her—no matter how incredibly sexy she was—it was also the friendship we shared, the mutual respect that made me pause before I made any rash decisions when it came to us. Fuck, it felt like teamwork, and family, and...perfection.

Shit. I was already with her in everything but name—and sex. Bailey was the one I came home to. The one I told about my day. The one I tucked my daughter in with, laughed with and kissed the hell out of. It wasn’t like I was seeing anyone else—if I could even get it up for anyone else. Right now everything I wanted was centered in that petite brunette who drove me wild with a single smile. We might not have put a label on what we were, but that didn’t change that we were already in a relationship...as complicated as it might turn out to be.

So now all I could do was my best not to fuck it up.

Or at least wait as long as possible for the inevitability of me screwing this up.

“Hey, you need any help?” Bailey asked, opening my bedroom door just a crack.

“I think I have it, but come on in,” I said, straightening the tie.

“Well, hello, Captain Von Trapp,” she said, with a grin.

“Hello, Maria,” I answered, my hands framing her tiny waist. “Is it wrong that I’m already wondering how long it’s going to take me to get these skirts above your waist?”

Her eyes darkened, and I was instantly hard. How the fuck could she do that to me without so much as touching me? It wasn’t fair. I leaned down and brushed my lips across hers once. Twice.

Then I groaned and sank into her, cradling her face, and trying to remember not to fuck up her braided hair. She opened for me, and I stroked her tongue with mine, tasting the peppermint of her toothpaste.

She pushed into me, and I gripped her skirt with one hand, and sent the other under it, feeling the silky smooth skin of her thighs. “Fuck,” I groaned when I encountered a shorter, lacy skirt underneath. “What are you wearing under here?” I asked against her mouth.

I could feel her smile against my lips. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll show you after I get back tonight.”

“Jeanine’s party,” I remembered, a slight pout entering my voice. I’d never waited so long to get inside any woman I’d been interested in, but I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted Bailey. “You’ll come home after?”

She nodded and stepped back. My hands slid along the smooth skin just under her ass, but I gave up my hold as her skirts covered her again. “I’ll be home after. You sure you don’t want to ask your mom to sit? You could come with.”

I shook my head. “Mom is here handing out candy. I don’t want to ask any more of her.”

She stroked her hands through my hair, finger-brushing it to the side. “I know you take a huge amount of pride in caring for Lettie, but you know it doesn’t make you any less of a badass if you let people help you out every once in awhile.”

“I have you,” I said, pulling her toward me. “Then again, the way I feel about you borders on sexual harassment. Do you feel like I’m taking advantage of an employee?” I joked, but there was a hint of seriousness in the question.

She shook her head. “Trust me, it’s more like me wanting to take advantage of you.”

Her tongue traced the line of her lower lip and it took every ounce of restraint not to jump her. Fuck, I wanted this woman. I needed this woman.

“You know, if Captain Von Trapp felt the way about Maria that I do about you, I have a feeling it wouldn’t be such a family-friendly film.”

She laughed, and I couldn’t help but join and marvel at the fact that I was as hard as I’d ever been for a woman, ready to lift her ass to my dresser, shove her skirts aside and bury myself inside her—and yet we could laugh like the friends we were.

“Daddy? Bailey?” Lettie called out. “Is it time?”

My gaze dropped to Bailey’s.

“Yeah, it’s time.”

* * *

“
L
ettie
, wait!” Bailey called out as Lettie tried to lurch ahead for the next house. We’d already covered five of the blocks on our streets and two blocks over. The kid was the candy-bandit.

“There’s so much more!” She said, her tiny hands pointing to all the houses. “This is the best night ever!”

“You know she thinks she’s going to get to eat all this candy tonight,” Bailey said as Lettie ran a few feet ahead to the next porch.

“Those Reeses are mine.”

Bailey’s jaw-dropped.

“What? There are some perks to fatherhood on Halloween.” I shrugged as Bailey laughed. “Besides, I’m going to need some massive calories to get me through that giant swingset.”

“I’ll have her out of the house all day tomorrow as planned. Are you sure you guys can get it put together in that amount of time? Her party is the day after tomorrow.”

“I have half the Sharks coming over. We’ll be okay.” I blinked. “We probably need to pick up some beer.”

“You guys are a giant, overgrown frat.”

“Just without the regulations,” I agreed.

Lettie ran back down the sidewalk, “Look, Daddy! I got you another Reeses!”

“High five!” She met me mid swing. “See,” I said to Bailey, “she knows.”

Bailey rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable.”

“You are just too adorable!” an older woman said as she knelt down to Lettie. She had to be in her late sixties. “Gretl, right?”

Lettie nodded enthusiastically. “You know the movie?”

“Of course!” She stood easily and glanced from Lettie to Bailey. “Oh my, you are just the cutest Von Trapp family! And you look just like your mommy,” she said to Lettie.

“Oh,” Bailey flustered. “I’m not her—”

“That’s my Bailey,” Lettie said as if that explained everything. In her world, it did. How simple everything was in her mind. In that moment, I wanted to see the world just like she did.

“Well, she’s lovely,” the woman said. “And you make a very dashing Captain Von Trapp,” she said with a wink before passing us on the sidewalk.

Lettie took my hand and we started walking again. “Did you hear her?” I asked Bailey with a wiggle of my eyebrows. “She thinks I’m dashing.”

Bailey looked down at her feet and then straight ahead. “Yeah, well she also thought I was Lettie’s mom.”

We stopped in front of the next house and Lettie ran up to the porch. “Okay? I’m not mad, Bailey. Look at us, we look like a family.”

“But we’re not,” she whispered. “I’m not Bailey’s Mom, and I don’t want her feeling weird about that.”

I turned Bailey so she could see Lettie skipping back down the path toward us. “Look at her. Does she seem like she’s bothered?”