Grim Haven (Devilborn Book 1) (21 page)

I nodded. “If you’re okay to tell me.”

“I’m fine. But it’s a long story, and I need to figure out something to do for clothes first, if you don’t mind. This is, ah, a little drafty.”

I smiled and willed myself not to blush.

“My suitcase is gone,” he went on. “My car kind of exploded a little bit.”

I tried to look calm about that bit of news. No wonder he’d been hurt so badly. “I see.” I looked him up and down, trying not to linger too long on any one part. He was taller than Caleb Thaggard, but shorter than Lance, and broader in the shoulders than either of them. And that was about the sum of the men I knew.

“I don’t think I know anyone your size, plus we don’t want to have to explain to anyone who doesn’t already know you’re here. I’ll have to shop. You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured me. “I’m sure you’re worried about Wicks coming for me, and I’m sorry to say they will, but I hope I’ve at least bought us some time. For the moment, they think I’m dead.”

So that was why he’d been so upset that Rosalie had seen him—alive, if barely. I didn’t know how fast news would travel, through the Garden Club and back to the Wicks, but there was no doubt that it would. It was even possible Marjory had spies at the hotel; she certainly seemed to know plenty about my activities.

I wrote Cooper some more protection spells, and told him to keep an eye out for a delivery from Wendy, too.

“Don’t be creeped out by the poppets,” I said. “Just put one in your pock—” But of course he didn’t have any pockets.

I looked at him, with nothing but that towel wrapped around his waist, and my stomach flipped over.

But he needs pockets.

“Cooper, where’s the seed? It’s not…”

“Still sewn into the waistband of my boxers, where it belongs,” he said. “I just didn’t want to put those clothes back on.”

“Okay. Good.” I forced my eyes away from his mostly-naked—and so nicely muscled—body again. “So. Poppets. Just, um, hold one, I guess, until I get back. I know that sounds weird, but they really are good for protection.”

I called Rosalie from the road. She claimed the Boyles and Wendy were the only people she’d told about seeing Cooper.

“I went to Lance’s suite straight away,” she said. “He seemed to think I might be exaggerating, but I told him how
bloody
Cooper was. I mean, my first instinct was to call 911, of course, but… Well, you know how Bristol is. Injuries and accidents aren’t always what they seem… and you don’t seem to get along with that little pill Asher Glass, not that I blame you, and I wasn’t sure about authorities…”

“You did the right thing,” I said. “And I appreciate it. But Rosalie, it really is important that we keep this secret. I promise, Cooper’s not running from the police or doing anything illegal. But his life could depend on it.”

At least, I hope he’s not running from the police or doing anything illegal.

“I understand,” Rosalie said. “I only asked Wendy about it because I went for a tea to calm my nerves, and I know she’s your friend. I thought she might know something. It was just so
awful
, the way he looked.”

“I know,” I said. “But it looked worse than it was. He’s okay, really. I just… need to let him rest here for a while. Undisturbed.” I had no idea whether that was true either, but it sounded good enough.

She was quiet for a second before she asked, “It’s really life or death?”

“Yes,” I said. “It really is.”

Rosalie made a noise like a frightened kitten, and I had a bad feeling about what she was going to say next.

“Then I have to confess. I may have let something slip to Jamie, too. Please don’t tell Lance! It was an accident, and I swear, there’s nobody else.”

I called Jamie next, and made sure he knew his job was on the line if he breathed a word of Cooper’s presence to anyone.

“Phearson business does not leave the Phearson,” he assured me. “I have a degree in hospitality management, you know. Respecting the guests’ privacy is like the first rule.”

I wasn’t sure I trusted him, or Rosalie either, but I didn’t have a lot of say in the matter.

I rushed through the shopping as fast as I could, no doubt making some questionable fashion choices on Cooper’s behalf. I didn’t like leaving him any longer than I had to, not without knowing exactly what kind of trouble we were facing. Or after the way I’d seen him the day before.

When I got back to my room, Cooper was sitting at my desk, in front of my laptop. He’d swapped the towel for my bathrobe.

Balls, that means he was in my closet. How messy did I leave it?

“That’s a nice look for you,” I said.

He pulled a poppet out of the chest pocket and held it up. “But it has pockets,” he said with a smile.

I averted my eyes. “Gross, put that away.”

“You said it was really good for protection!”

“It is, but they give me the creeps.”

“Bet you’re afraid of clowns too, aren’t you?”

“Everybody’s afraid of clowns.”

But more alarming than the faceless little doll was the fact that Cooper had apparently accepted its delivery. “You answered the door?” I asked.

“Wendy brought it herself,” he said. “She had a potion, too, to be poured around the door frame and windows, which I’ve done. But I actually answered the door twice.” He waved away the look I gave him. “Don’t worry, it was just Lance the second time. That guy cannot contain his nosiness.”

“Well, to be fair, you gave everyone quite a scare. What did you tell him?”

“That we’d meet him later, to talk about the fine dining place.”

I laughed. “What? You scheduled a
meeting
?”

“It was the quickest way to get rid of him.”

Cooper smiled. And it was, I realized, his normal smile. And he was making normal jokes, teasing me about clowns, laughing at Lance. Like I’d just come back from a normal errand, and we were having a normal conversation. Yesterday, even after he’d recovered physically, something had had him so tortured he couldn’t even get out of bed. And now…

Now he’s stalling. Because he doesn’t want to tell me about that something.

I hoped that wasn’t true, but I had a sinking feeling it was. Cooper was one of the bravest people I’d ever met, and he wasn’t one to shy away from difficult conversations. So how bad must this be?

I nodded at the laptop as I handed him the bags of clothes. “Have you been in touch with your father?”

“No. I don’t like to be cruel, but I think it’s best if I don’t surface at all until I have to. I was just reading news.” He rummaged until he found jeans, boxers, and a t-shirt. “I’ll get dressed.”

While he did that, I unpacked a couple of subs I’d brought back and poured us both some sweet tea. When we were finally settled Cooper said, “Thanks, by the way. For the clothes and everything.”

“No problem.”

For a few minutes, he didn’t say anything more. I was just trying to think of a gentle way to prompt him, when he finally started talking.

“I thought I’d lost them. The Wicks. I did all the right things, kept moving, used the right routes, communicated through the right channels. After the first day or two, there was no sign of them. No sign that anyone was even looking for me anymore.”

“So you did lose them,” I said.

Then how did you end up with your guts spilling between your fingers?
I swallowed back that question.
Let him get to it in his own time.

“Not without help,” Cooper said. “They got distracted.”

“By what?”

“A call from Talon, if I had to guess. Saying he found Crawford. He didn’t make the same mistake Kestrel did, and try to bring my cousin down on his own.”

“So they gave up trying to catch up with you,” I said. “At least temporarily. To go after prey whose location they were more certain of.”

“If I had to guess,” Cooper said again. “The only thing I can really tell you for a fact is, a few days after I left here, I got a message. That Crawford was dead. Headshot. There’s no healing that.”

He put his own head in his hands, and I finally understood. This wasn’t grief for his cousin, but for something else.

“And Crawford was carrying a seed,” I said.

Cooper nodded without looking up. “The South Seed. They’ve got it.” He sighed. “One down, three to go.”

“But I still don’t understand. What happened to
you
? Did they track you down again, after they killed Crawford?”

He met my eyes, his own brimming with rage and something else, something that looked an awful lot like disgust. “You have to understand. My clan has been guarding these seeds for centuries.
Successfully
guarding them. The Wicks have caught and killed Blackwoods before, but only rarely, and never anyone who was carrying. They’ve never so much as touched one of the seeds. Until now.”

I frowned. “So you feel like you’ve failed your duty, is that it? But you can’t blame yourself for Crawford, surely, if it was Talon who was hunting him—”

“It’s not that,” he interrupted.

“What is it, then?”

“I’m just trying to explain why I… did what I did, when I found out. I went kind of crazy, I guess. Remember I told you before, things are different lately, and I don’t understand why?”

I nodded. “You said Kestrel knew you had a seed, and you couldn’t figure out how she knew the things she did.”

“Right. So I was already… jumpy… I guess. And then Crawford…” He got up with so much force he almost knocked his tea off the table, and walked over to the window, his back to me.

Almost like he didn’t want to look me in the eye.

Which was when it dawned on me. The disgust in his face was real—and it was self-disgust. “You were afraid,” I said. “And you hate yourself for it. And you’re thinking I’m going to judge you for it.”

For a few seconds he just stood there, back and shoulders rigid, and didn’t answer. Finally he said, “I told myself it was caution, not fear. They know I have a seed. They got to Crawford. There was nowhere I could go, nowhere I could be safe—”

“So you came back here. Looking for sanctuary, I’m guessing.”

Balls. And here I’ve failed to provide it.

I thought of the night before, the hungry faces of Madeline Underwood and my father. The spiders. And suddenly I felt a wave of hopelessness I prayed he wouldn’t turn around and see in my face.

“Not right away,” Cooper said. “I knew they’d look for me here, and I didn’t want to lead them straight back to you or Bristol, even as strong as you are. Not without doing something first.”

“Doing what?”

“Getting off their radar. Erasing myself from their plans. At least for a little while.”

The last piece fell into place, and I was chilled to the bone.

“All that blood,” I said softly. “Your broken body. Your
guts
. Your car
sort of
blowing up
a little bit
? Balls, Cooper, you did that to
yourself
?”

He turned to face me again, his expression almost sheepish, and shrugged. “If you want to fake your death, you can’t really do it halfway. It had to be messy.”

“But you could have died for real! You almost did!”

How could you do that to yourself?

How could you do that to me?

“I’ll admit, it got a little messier than I anticipated,” was all he said to that.

“And what if it had gotten so
messy
that you lost the seed?”

“It’s indestructible,” he reminded me. “All I had to do to keep it safe was make sure I could crawl away with my underwear intact.”

I shook my head, and marveled that he could be kicking himself now for being afraid. Because it sure seemed like bravery to me, to willingly, deliberately put himself through that kind of pain to protect his secrets. So much pain, and so much
risk
. He had no way to be sure that injuries of that magnitude wouldn’t kill him faster than he could heal them.

But that was just it: he hadn’t been sure of anything. Because he hadn’t thought it through. He’d acted from sheer panic, and that was why he was so angry with himself.

I wanted to kiss him and punch him and scream at him and put my arms around him and never, ever let go of him. But as I had no idea which of those things I wanted more, for the moment I refrained from doing any of them.

“Anyway, it was all for nothing,” Cooper said. “Because after all that, I couldn’t manage to sneak in here without being seen.”

“Speaking of which…” I told him about my conversation with Rosalie, but he didn’t seem surprised by any of it.

“Lance told me pretty much the same thing, when he came by. So that’s what? Five people, that we know of, who know I’m here?”

“Besides the two of us, yes. We know we can trust Lance, Agatha, and Wendy. And I think Rosalie got the point. I don’t know Jamie very well, but he seems like a nice enough guy, and he likes his job here. I think there’s a good chance word won’t spread too fast.”