Green Tea Won't Help You Now! (15 page)

I swallowed a spoonful of mashed potatoes. "It's basically barbecue. But everything's bigger. Much bigger."

"I saw her take on a thirty ounce rib eye steak once. She made it look like a cocktail sausage."

"Important quality in a woman," Randolph mused. "She'll make it through the winter."

"Everybody ready for pumpkin pie?" Amy inquired.
 

I was stuffed to the brim, but I nodded eagerly. Unsurprisingly, I tend towards excess.
 

"God, I'm going to explode..." Alex declared with a yawn and patted his stomach. I broke into helpless laughter. His eyes found mine and he snorted.
 

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, Alexander," Sam complained. "What are you two laughing about? Some inside joke?"

"Nothing in particular," I hurried to assure her. "Something we saw in a movie."

 
She did not need to know how her precious Alexander had employed the same phrase in a different context three hours earlier in the upstairs hallway.

I gobbled down three pieces of pumpkin pie with whipped cream and I could not have welcomed anything more than Magnus's suggestion we regroup in the living room.
 

I had not realised how tired I was until I sat on, or rather
in
the deep, plush couch next to Alex, who was invitingly warm and broad. His gravitational field affected me terribly, I could hardly keep myself from collapsing into his lap.
 

"Tell us the story of Thanksgiving, Ranny," Amy pleaded. "I'm sure Trixie has never heard it told by a real Comanche. But do it right, with the chanting. Mum, turn off the lights. The fireplace is enough."

"No," Randolph pleaded good-humouredly, but he stood up anyway. "Now I get why she was so happy we would have somebody else coming tonight."

"Trixie's on my side in this, I'm sorry to say."

"I am," I chirped, trying not to burp instead.

"I like it too," Sam concurred. "How lovely to have you here, Trixie. The runt, I mean, Lucy had no understanding for the mythical."

"Mother," Alex hissed sharply.

"Come on, she was a bore. She was never the right woman for you. I told you she was only in it for the money in the end. You just got so used to her."

I put on a brave smiled and produced a very British, "oh?".

"Mom, you've had too much. Dad, tell her to be quiet, please."

"Be quiet, please," Magnus said to his wife who pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows.

"I'll say no more."

Alex sighed. "Thank you."
 

Randolph saw his chance to alleviate the situation and uttered a loud war cry, followed by a resounding chant. It drowned all other noises.

I do not know when precisely I fell asleep, but it must have been at some point in the story, when Randolph chanted a slow and rhythmic melody.
 

I briefly woke up in the middle of the night, beneath the rose-coloured quilt, in a huge t-shirt that did not belong to me. I crooned and turned onto my other side. He had carried me in after all.

Nineteen

There was a knock on my door.

"Are you awake, babe?"

"Sort of..."

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, but I can't look at you because I can't roll over, I'm too bloated."

I heard the door open and close. A heavy weight settled on the mattress next to me.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"A laxative."

"Coffee and orange juice?"

"Perfect. I'll need to take a long hike later on, we sat all day yesterday."

"It's pretty cold out there, but for now the sun's shining. It'll change in the afternoon. There might be heavy snowfall."

I rolled over. "Ouch."

"I feel the same. Amy and her pack are already gone, they sent their greetings."

"What time is it?"

"Ten-thirty."

"Really? I haven't slept that long since I went into re—retreat."

"I can't offer you Everest, but there are mountains out there. We could bring my mother's dinner gong if you want to meditate. You won't need that ridiculous red coat of yours. I have a ski jacket for you in the car. It's a unique prototype with a new microcellular lining."

"Sounds ravishing."

"Get up."

"Yes, sir."

"We're now above Emerald Bay. I grew up in the town down there. South Lake Tahoe. Can you see it?" Alex pointed to an assortment of buildings on our right. "Our lodge is the one closest to the forest."
 

We had hiked to a view point far above the ranch. "Where's the cabin?"

"We can't see it from here, it's by the slopes of Heavenly." He pointed across the big lake. "Everything else is Nevada."

"Have you always lived on the Californian side?"

He shoved me playfully. "Blasphemer! Of course I have!"
 

"You were right with your prediction. Those clouds look pretty dire to me. How sad, I'd love to see more."

"We have two more days. It's even prettier with fresh snow."

"At least I'm not going to be cold. Not ever."

"The jacket's great, right? It stores your body heat and feeds it to the fibres."

"It's very, very yellow, too."

"That's for the psychological effect. People feel much warmer in sunny clothes."

"Pure conjecture, I'm sure."

"Yeah, it is, but it sounds good, doesn't it?"

We descended to the ranch, where we collected our stuff and loaded it into the car.
 

"What will you be doing today?" Sam asked us when we returned to the house for refreshment.
 

I concentrated on my glass of water and hoped Alex would give a diplomatic answer. My mind was fixed on the cabin, but I did not intend to reveal my craving for the golden boy's man parts to his parents.

"I'm going to show Trixie what we do here in Tahoe when the sky is overcast."

"Ah," Sam winked at me. "That's a good idea. It'll get your blood up."

I gulped and blushed to the tips of my hair.

"Are you ready?" Alex asked. "We should be going if we want to make good use of the day."

"Oh. Uh. Right, yes, I think I am. Thanks again Sam for having me, it was such a wonderful Thanksgiving. Thank you, Magnus."

"Oh, how prettily she behaves."
 

"Have a good time," Magnus shook my hand. "Don't overdo it! We don't want to have to come to the rescue"

"Magnus, your son will take good care of her, I'm sure."

"Yeah. He's loaded enough." Now Magnus winked.

"Aha. Yes... Goodbye then."

"Bye, bye. Let's hear how it went."

Somewhat befuddled, I got into the car.

"Here we go." Alex got in on the driver side and steered the Cherokee into the forest.

"How far do we need to go?"

"Oh, not far. A quarter of an hour max."

"Great. I—"

"What?"

"Nothing." I had wanted to tell him how I could not wait anymore, but I could not get over being English, not in matters of the heart (and the other relative organs).

We drove on through the forest. Sometimes we passed a lonely cabin. Once, we even overtook a carriage drawn by two heavy draft horses.

"How lovely and calm it is... how remote. As if civilisation had never heard of this place."

He chuckled.
 

"Don't mock me, I'm praising your home."

"I see, I see."

"We passed through South Lake Tahoe which turned out to be a tiny wild west village with a few shops and restaurants, all built from wood.

"I feel as if we were Pioneers!" I cried in sheer delight.
 

Again, we were in the untouched forest. A sign said "Heavenly, turn right", but Alex ignored it.

"Aren't we going to Heavenly?"

"Not yet."

"I thought— I thought you wanted—"

"I want to show you what we do when the sky is overcast."

"Yes, I had supposed we would—"

"Hush... just watch."

There was a sharp turn in the road and we rounded a corner and saw what lay ahead of us.
 

"What the heck!" I screamed.
 

"Welcome to Nevada!" Alex roared as we crossed the state line.
 

High rise buildings loomed on either side of the road, each of them sporting super-sized, blinking neon lights. Half of them said,
CASINO
.
HOTEL
the other half.

"This can't be real. We did hit the rock and I'm in a coma."

"You're not, but I hope you will be. Nothing better to get your blood up than a few rounds of gambling. And don't worry, my parents won't have to rescue you, because I'm loaded."

"Oh, you fiend! You bastard! You horrid, horrid devil! You
knew
what I was thinking they were thinking." I punched his arm and hurt my hand. He did not even flinch. "How awful."

He still roared with laughter, then he ruffled my hair. "You can be sure, they did not think what you were thinking they were thinking."

"Jesus bloody Christ!"

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain..."

"ARGH!"

He parked at a place called The Lake Hotel and Casino.

"I hate you," I declared in high pique as I alighted.

He had already walked around the car and caught me in his arms. "No, you don't"

"Yes, I do."

He lifted me off my feet and held me up.
 

"Say you don't, or I'll leave you hanging there for all eternity."

"Hmpf."

"Come on, say it."

"All right, I don't."

He lowered me down until I could wrap my arms around him and give some credence to my words.

I had been to Las Vegas several times in my life, so the casino itself was not much of a new experience to me. And God only knows how many times I have been to the Monte Carlo Casino, (where I usually lost several ten thousand Euros and snorted cocaine in the ladies room).

 
I
did
make a new and very pleasant experience eventually: I won three-hundred dollars.

"I won three hundred dollars!" I kept congratulating myself loudly. "I never win anything. Look here Alex, I won three hundred dollars without losing anything. I'll buy a ridiculously expensive tea pot with it."

"Maybe you should buy something more sensible," Alex suggested and he was not joking. His face was stern.

"I never win anything!" I jubilated, ignoring his boring advice and hopped merrily from one foot to another.
 

"We should stop playing now before you lose it again."

"Oh, how boring. Where do you want to go next?"

"To the cabin."

I sobered instantly. "To the cabin."

Without another word we walked out of the casino and I think Alex forgot there was a speed limit on the streets of both Nevada and California. We raced up a steep, narrow road, higher and higher into the mountains. He halted so abruptly in front of the cabin (I will spare you the detailed description, it was a pretty chalet like a million others), a good many pebbles and some sand went flying all around us.
 

I had hardly undone my seat belt when I was seized. I wound my arms and legs around him and he carried me up the flight of wooden stairs to the door. I had his jacket off (
and
mine) before he had even unlocked the door. I did not care for the surroundings. I clawed at his clothes while he transported me into the house. I landed on a soft surface, most likely the bed, and pulled his shirt over his head. I admit, I had watched him ski down a mountain of ice-cream in nothing but a pair of boxers about a trillion times on Youtube, but the reality was so much better.

"Always make me feel like sum—," I moaned but his mouth covered mine and his hands unbuttoned my jeans, so I focused on doing the same to his.

We were both naked. He was above me, kissing me. I was squirming, moving myself into the right position for the final act.

He lifted his head and his icy glare penetrated my soul as I knew he would penetrate my body.

His voice was rough. "Is there anything you want to say?"

I smiled. "I won three hundred dollars."

"Shut up," he said. And I did.

Twenty

It will not come as a great surprise to the enlightened reader when I confess we did not leave the cabin for the remainder of the weekend.

Somebody had thoughtfully supplied our abode with food, drink and toiletries. It must have been Amy, for we found supplies of another variety there too... necessary implements of the rubber kind, if you get my meaning. I doubt they came from Sam and Magnus. What would the Lord have said?

Twenty-One

Making raunchy, steamy love in front of the Los Angeles skyline is a pleasure I would wish everybody could enjoy, alas, only the fewest will ever have the occasion.
 

Gladly, I had. Or so I thought. Had I but known what was to come.

Lounging on top of my hunky lover, I sipped a coke and watched the square pattern of orange light that is LA in the darkness.

"Damn," the lover complained.
 

"What happened?"

He was wearing his reading glasses (mega sexy) and went through his emails.

"I have to call this Jacob guy. He says he needs to tell me something urgent. Man, I can't wait for Wednesday to be over. I've had it up to here."

It was Monday night, the day after we had returned from Lake Tahoe and the night before Alex would fly off to NYC for the big event.

I shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"Brain freeze, coke's too cold."

He reached for his phone.
 

"You can't call a man in New York at this hour," I tried.

"These dudes never sleep." He dialled.

I held my breath. I could hear Jacob's voice on the other line. He was always one to shout into the receiver. He asked Alex whether he'd had a good Thanksgiving.

"Hi. Yes, like every normal person in the United States, I was with my family. I hope you were, too."

"Yes. Alex," Jacob had no sense for irony and he ignored every remark he did not understand. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I have orders from above to sell out as soon as we go public."