Green Lake (13 page)

Now he sat, listening to a blonde-haired white woman who stood no taller than his collar bone and was no more Indian than the actors in black and white Westerns, while she told him about his ancestors.

When she paused he sat forward and put his Diet Coke down on the cocktail table.

“I have to go, Madeleine.”

Her mouth fell open and she looked at him in surprise. “Why?”

He got up and walked to the door, unable to tell her what he was feeling, unable to make himself seem small or childish to her for having such problems dealing with his lack of identity and his anger toward people he had never even met. She would not understand.

“Eris?”

The hurt and confusion in her eyes nearly made him stop and go back, fight his way through his feelings just to be near her a while longer.

But then she was confusing him even more, making him wonder if she needed to do exactly what she was doing, if he was, after all, someone she wanted to be friendly with because their interests were ostensibly the same, him being an Indian and all her degrees and work having to do with Native Americans.

“I can't learn from you,” he said as he opened the door. “And I can't tell you why.”

He turned to leave then, and the breath left him in a whoosh a second later as a tremendous force struck him square in the middle of the back. He wheeled in surprise and saw a book lying on the floor behind him. Madeleine was picking up another book to throw at him, and he took one look at her flushed cheeks and trembling mouth and said, “Don't.”

Too late. The next book struck him in the face, glancing off his still sore cheekbone and causing his ear to begin ringing. She picked up another book and he hurried to take it away from her before she could wing it at close range. He grabbed her by the wrist and squeezed until she cried out and dropped the book.

“Stop,” he said, his tone warning.

“You stop,” she said fiercely. “Who's using who, Eris? And what are you using me for? As a whipping post for the people who've mistreated you? What do I have to do to get through to you?”

He stared at her, his hand still holding her wrist, and when he spoke, his voice didn't sound like his.

“I don't understand what you want from me.”

“I don't either,” she said. “How can I? You're not exactly constant in the way you treat me. How am I supposed to understand anything to do with you when you can't make up your mind how to feel about me?”

Eris dropped her wrist and said, “I know exactly how I feel about you.”

Madeleine blinked, and the anger in her slowly diminished as she looked into his face. “Don't say that. Don't say you know exactly, when you have to be just as confused as I am. You keep running away from me.”

“What I know, Madeleine,” said Eris “is what I want to do with you. What I don't know is how you'll react if I try.”

She froze, as if the breath had been knocked out of her, and Eris felt suddenly damned, believing he had gone too far and said too much, scaring her with his confession.

“Are you saying that's all you want?” she asked her voice breathless.

“No.”

Her lashes lowered and she looked at the floor, and Eris found he was thinking this was the part where she explained she wanted to be just friends.

She said, “I know I said I was going to examine why I feel the way I do about you, but I'm no clearer now than I was a week ago. I still think you're a good man.”

Eris's heart began pounding. He lifted a hand to touch her on one cheek, causing her to lift her head and look at him. He searched her eyes while she gazed at him, and Madeleine suddenly lifted herself on her tiptoes to place her arms around his neck. She raised herself up and kissed him on the center of his chin, her lips soft and moist. She moved to his cheek, and along his jaw, planting kisses on the scarred skin of his face while he tentatively placed his hands on her waist and fought to breathe.

When she came to his mouth, she placed a light kiss on his lips and looked at him. He sensed her waiting, and he gently picked her up in his arms and lifted her against his chest, bringing her mouth to his.

Eris nearly came to orgasm just parting her lips. When she made a noise into his mouth and touched her tongue to his, his knees threatened to buckle. His limbs began to shake as he held her against him and kissed her, and when he felt her press herself along the length of him he thought he would fall down. He had never tasted anything sweeter, or held anything softer.

While he could still walk he carried her to the sofa and sat down with her, tearing his mouth away from her lips long enough to ask if he could touch her.

Madeleine guided his hand to her breasts and reached behind herself to unzip her dress. His hand covered hers, and once the zipper was down the two of them pushed the dress over her hips until she was free of the garment. Eris touched the silky skin of her breasts and fought for control while she tugged his pullover free of his jeans, kissing his mouth and neck until he pulled the shirt over his head. When his chest was bare she wrapped herself around him, pressing her naked breasts against him and sweetly pushing her face against his neck and the underside of his jaw.

Eris held her that way a moment, their heated flesh melded together, his hands caressing the skin of her back and the curve of her waist and hips, and soon he felt her fingers pulling at his hair band and tangling themselves in his hair. She pulled his head back until they were looking at each other, and then she placed her mouth on his and kissed him so deeply he felt he would lose part of himself to her. Her hands were on his face and she was on her knees on the cushion between his thighs, kissing him as he had never been kissed, and when she lowered a hand to unzip his jeans and reach inside his briefs, Eris abruptly lost control.

Madeleine didn't pause in kissing him, only held on to him while he jerked and went on touching when he stopped.

Eris clutched her to him and then groaned when she left him to pull off his shoes and the rest of his clothes. When she climbed back onto the sofa with him he slid his hands down over her hips to remove her underwear. One hand went back to caress the area uncovered, and he shuddered when his fingers encountered evidence of her arousal. Madeleine moaned and pressed herself against his hand, and the movements of her body soon had Eris erect again and wanting to know the inside of her.

She tangled her fingers in his hair and breathlessly kissed one ear before he lifted himself up. Madeleine shuddered as he gently probed and then began to push himself inside her. She gasped and clutched at his forearms, and Eris saw her lips part and her eyes squeeze shut, and his mouth went dry as he realized she had come to orgasm just by having him inside her.

The knowledge overwhelmed him, and he kissed her as passionately as she had kissed him, only beginning to move when her hands pulled at him and her hips raised to prompt him. After that he wasn't aware of anything but the taste of her lips, the sounds from her throat, and sensation.

When he stopped his breathing was labored, and Madeleine's chest was heaving. They were silent, looking at each other in the dimness, Eris still inside her and Madeleine's arms wrapped around him.

Suddenly the beeper attached to the belt on Eris's jeans shattered the stillness.

Madeleine jumped but Eris didn't move. He went on looking at her face. Madeleine tightened her arms around him until the beeper repeated. He kissed her on the lips and for the second time that evening said, “I have to go.”

He slid away from her and Madeleine reluctantly let him go. She sat up and watched as he dressed, and before he left her, he moved to cup her face with his hand. She turned her lips into his palm. Eris drew a ragged breath and walked away.

Someone was out spot lighting deer that night. Several shots had been fired. Eris hung up the phone in the kitchen and thought if he caught the persons responsible he would probably kill them.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Madeleine lay awake for hours after Eris left, hugging the pillow beside her and reliving every moment he had been with her. She loved his mouth…and his body. The size of him had nearly driven her wild with pleasure. She had never been with anyone like him, never known what it felt like to be filled so completely or kissed with such emotion.

Her own passion had been a surprise. She had known she was attracted, but not until his naked flesh was against hers and her hands were trapped in his hair did she realize how utterly and completely she wanted him, how badly she wanted to hold on and keep holding him, so that whatever barriers he threw up between them would have no place.

Like his problem with her teaching him. Madeleine didn't understand what that was about. She only knew there was a moment when he had looked at her and seen not Madeleine, but a white woman.

Madeleine had faced similar situations before, but never with anyone she cared about. It drove her into frenzy when he simply got up and said he couldn't learn from her and couldn't tell her why.

He wanted to spend his passion on her, but he wouldn't talk to her about himself.

Suddenly Madeleine wondered if she was making a big mistake, if he even cared about her at all, beyond the fact that she was a woman romantically interested in him.

And she still didn't know why she was interested. Because he had spurned every overture on her part and piqued her curiosity? Because he was a tall, dark Indian and she had a point to prove about not being afraid anymore…or was it because he gave and gave an
d never took anything in return, because he treated everyone alike, from kittens to earthworms, and because he was human enough to get sick after fishing a little girl's body from the lake.

Madeleine had never known anyone so capable, so able to handle any situation, from conducting a search party to babysitting a woman sick with fever. She wondered if there was any situation he couldn't handle, anything he wouldn't face with the same quiet determination. She doubted it. He was as solid as the earth.

She covered her eyes as she lay in bed, wondering what she was going to do when she had to leave him. She couldn't live in the cabin indefinitely. Her funds were running out.

Madeleine hated even to think about leaving. She hated the thought of being where she wouldn't see him every day.

But she had to get back to work. What money she had would be gone completely by summer's end, and there was no more coming in. She couldn't buy or do anything without having to worry about whether the cats would starve.

She was out of cat food, as a matter of fact, and she had hoped Manuel and Jacqueline would bring some. Since they hadn't come, the babies were going to have to make do with table scraps. And maybe she could catch a fish or two, she thought, remembering having seen a cane pole in the garage. Perhaps Sherman Tanner could give her some tips on where to dig for worms.

A chuckle escaped her lips, and Madeleine wondered if any studies had been done on tiny lake communities like the one in which she was now living, an anthropological study, comparing the village communities of America past with present day counterparts.

Might be something to think about, she told herself. God knew there was a different breed of people out here among the year-round crowd. Maybe it was something she could work on in her spare time, just to keep herself occupied. Go out and talk to the people, see how they lived. She knew how Eris Renard and Sherman Tanner lived, and since both of them were out of the norm she could only imagine what else she might encounter.

A shiver passed through her as she thought of Eris asking if he could touch her. Who would do such a thing but a man unused to touching a woman?

She squeezed her eyes shut and warned herself to tread with caution. She already knew she was in emotional danger, not because she felt vulnerable after Sam, or because her sexuality had been tapped, but because he was Eris, totally unpredictable and unlike anyone she had ever known.

He had not offered to come back when he was finished, or made a promise to see her tomorrow, or said anything at all to her indicating she would see him again soon.

It was typical of him.

Madeleine yawned and wondered if the difference in their ages would ever come into play. As she drifted off it occurred to her that she had not used her diaphragm, and as she fell into slumber a tiny frown creased her brow.

When she awakened it was midmorning and full sun was coming in her windows. Her first thought was of the night before, and she sighed into her mattress before forcing herself out of bed. A sudden, insistent pounding on her door made her shake a leg, and she grabbed a robe out of the closet and threw it on before hurrying to open the door.

Dale Russell smiled at her. “Morning, sleepyhead. Did I get you out of bed?”

Madeleine's shoulders drooped in disappointment.

“What brings you out, Dale?”

“I was in to see Renard this morning and thought I'd stop and see how you're getting along.”

“He's home?” Madeleine said in surprise and looked toward his house.

“He left a while ago. Guess he had
a late night, out hunting spot lighters. Did you hear about the hoax?”

“What hoax?”

“The missing little girl wasn't missing at all. Her disappearance was faked by her father and his mother. They were after money.”

Madeleine was confused. “Then how did she end up in the lake?”

“Seems Lyman's mother left her in front of the Haven, knowing someone would come and find her, probably take her to the authorities. The wrong person found her.”

Madeleine shook her head.

“Makes you sick, doesn't it?” said Dale.

“It makes me angry,” Madeleine told him.

“Angry?”

“At the man responsible.”

“What makes you think it was a man?”

“Last time I checked, women weren't capable of producing semen.”

“You know about that, huh?”

“Everyone on the hill knows about that. Sherman Tanner keeps us all informed.”

Dale frowned, and she realized he didn't know who she was talking about. It was just as well.

“Shouldn't you be out on the lake?” she asked.

“Trying to get rid of me?” he said with a grin.

“Yes,” she said bluntly. “Honestly, Dale, you're very charming, but I'm just not interested.”

“Why?” he asked, just as bluntly.

Madeleine decided on the facts as opposed to the truth.

”A few months ago my husband committed suicide. Is that enough for you, or do you want the details?”

Dale backed up slightly. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize.”

“Now you do. I'm flattered, Dale, believe me, but that's all I am.”

“Okay. Well, wow, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I guess.” He paused then. “Do you need a friend, Madeleine? Someone to talk to?”

“I'm fine,” she said.

“Because sometimes I do,” he said, as if he hadn't heard her. “Sometimes I really need someone just to listen while I talk. If you ever need that, think of me. Will you do that?”

Madeleine was groaning inside, wondering what she had created. “Yes, Dale, I will. Thank you. Goodbye now.”

“Goodbye, Madeleine.” He reached forward and gave her an impulsive hug. She stiffened and did not move until he released her.

When he was gone, Madeleine jerked off the robe and stepped into the shower, thinking perhaps it was because of Sam that handsome men now gave her the creeps.

At
noon she ate a sandwich and then went outside to dig worms. Eris hadn't come home for lunch, but he wouldn't, since he had gotten such a late start. She came up with six good-sized worms under the railroad ties bordering Eris's coleus. Sherman Tanner came to see what she was doing and to warn her how Renard felt about his plants.

“I'm not hurting anything,” said Madeleine.

“Neither was I. I was just doing some thinning.”

‘‘You told me he said you could take the plants.”

“He did. He said to ask.”

“Before or after you took them?”

Sherman gave her a pinched look and walked away, his shoulders straight and his head held high. Madeleine smiled to herself as she watched him go, and then went to fetch the cane pole from the garage.

She found a bobber and a stringer, and noted that a tiny lead weight was already attached to the line. She let the kittens out to play and then carried everything down to the lake in a straw bag, looking as she went for the perfect spot to sit and fish.
Vista Bay was too crowded, and the swimmers near the swimming area would scare any fish away. She walked awhile longer and finally found a quiet little cove, where the water was still and looked just right for fishing.

A tiny perch hit on her worm the minute she dropped it in the water and Madeleine gleefully jerked it out and removed it from the hook to place on her stringer.

“One little fishy for my kitties,” she sang to herself, and stuck another worm on her hook. Fifteen minutes later she had one fish for each worm, not one of them bigger than her hand.

When her fish were on the stringer, Madeleine fixed her pole and prepared to leave. Then she saw Dale Russell come motoring up to her in his boat.

She held up her stringer. “Look what I caught.”

He didn't smile. “Do you have a fishing license, ma'am?”

”A license? No, I don't. Do I need one?”

“You do. Put the fish back or pay a fine.”

“What?” She couldn't believe he meant it.

He did. “You heard me.”

“But, two of them are dead already. Can't I at least take the dead ones?”

“Put the fish back or pay a fine.”

“Why are you being like this? Because I hurt your feelings earlier?”

His face remained implacable. “I assume you want the fine?”

“No,” she said, angry now. “I don't.” She dropped her stringer in the water and released all the fish, even the dead ones. Without looking at him, she took her pole and carried it up the bank, furious with him for being such a jerk. He was paying her back for not responding to him, for leaving him looking as ridiculous as she felt right now.

“Dammit,” she swore as she walked back up the hill.

She was a hundred yards from the cabin when she saw something that made her drop everything and start running. Sherman Tanner's little terrier mixture mutt had one of her kittens in its mouth and was tossing it about like a rag doll. Madeleine screamed and charged at the dog, aiming a kick at its side and seeing it dart away from her, the obviously dead kitten still hanging from its mouth.

“Tanner!” she screamed, her voice raw as she looked helplessly about for the other kittens. She found another one dead in the grass just beyond the porch, half its little face torn away. “Tanner!” she screamed again, tears of rage streaming down her face. A mewing sound made her head swerve and she jerked around to find the tiny black kitten in a tree, calling plaintively to her.

The little terrier mixture dog was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Madeleine went to the tree and took the kitten down to put it in the cabin before she went striding down the hill again to stand and pound on Sherman Tanner's door.

A thin woman with close-set eyes and a long nose came to the door, her brows lifted in annoyance.

“What is it?”

Mole woman, thought Madeleine. The Earthworm and Mole Woman lived together.

“Your dog killed two of my kittens,” Madeleine said. “He was in my yard just a moment ago with one of them in his mouth. He ran away when I tried to catch him.”

Mrs. Tanner was already shaking her head. “Not our dog. He's been right here the whole afternoon.” She stood aside and gestured into the living room, where Madeleine saw the dog sitting on Sherman Tanner's lap as he reclined in a chair before a television.

“That is the dog,” said Madeleine firmly and succinctly. “No two animals could look like…that.”

‘‘You're mistaken,” said Gudrun Tanner. “Go and beat on someone else's door.”

Madeleine put a hand out when the woman would have slammed the door.

“I want the other kitten. You're not going to add him to your little bone yard.”

Gudrun appeared shocked. “Sherman, call the police. This woman is harassing us.”

“Give me the other goddamned kitten!” Madeleine yelled. “I'll call the police myself and get a warrant to search your yard for body parts!”

Sherman Tanner snorted and came to the door.

“Run along, Miss Heron. It's your word against ours.”

“Give him back,” Madeleine demanded.

Tanner only smiled. “Guess you'll watch what you say and mind your manners a little better now. You still have one kitten left, don't you?”

Madeleine felt her eyes grow round. “You did this on purpose? You turned your dog loose on my kittens because of what I said to you about the goddamned coleus?”