Green Girl (33 page)

The two men exchanged glances and Rory said very softly:
“
I think Kurt did know. Animals do sometimes have a prerecognition of death—in themselves, and others of their kind. Was that what you sensed in Uriah this morning, Harriet, when you said you had a funny feeling about him?
”

“
Yes
...
”
said Harriet slowly.
“
He must have had that queer moment of knowing ... he looked at me
so strangely ... such
a wise look of knowledge and acceptance
...
and I
’
d been
laughing
at him—I
’
d hurt his feelings horribly and he was going to
d-die
...”

All at once she was weeping, covering her face and choking on great tearing sobs, and Duff was by her side in a moment holding her, comforting her, while Rory looked on with a wry little smile of something that might have been regret. She turned to Duff instinctively, then, as if she had suddenly become aware of him as a person, she pushed him away and got up.

“
No ... I don
’
t want you
.
..
”
she said, and ran out of the room.

They had gone long before she had awakened from her drugged sleep in the morning, and her first conscious feeling was one of emptiness and abandonment. They had all gone, Uriah, Rory, Duff, for somehow she thought of them in that order. Rory had said his farewells last night at the foot of the stairs, refusing her tentative plea to stop on until Duff returned, and later, Duff had come upstairs with hot milk and the promised sedative, and talked prosaically on a number of dull topics, made up the fire for the night, and gone away. Just when she was dropping off to sleep a strange thing had happened. She thought she heard something scratching at the door, and told herself it was only her imagination trying to persuade her that Uriah was waiting to be let in, but it came again, more impatiently, accompanied by a little whine, and she sprang out of bed and opened the door. Kurt stood there, ears pricked, tail slowly waving, eyes shining green in the lamplight. He had walked gravely into the room, smelt everything with deliberation, gave her a stately nod in passing, then lay down by the bed with his nose between his paws, heaved a deep sigh and went to sleep.

“
Kurt is a
very
extraordinary animal,
”
she said to Nonie in the morning.
“
He seems to know things in a most uncanny fashion. If I
’
d been a little younger I
’
d have thought he was enchanted.
”

“
Alsatians have a very high
I.Q.” Nonie
told her with the kindly tolerance of the already initiated.
“
They
’
re more sensitive than ordinary dogs and of course they
’
re a working breed, so when you think of how they track and guard and lead the blind and find dead bodies—in the war, that was—it
’
s not surprising that Kurt should show a little intelligence over poor Uriah.
”

“
No, I suppose not, if you put it like that,
”
Harriet said meekly, accepting rebuke for her lack of knowledge of the canine world and Alsatians in particular.

“
Besides, he was jealous. He
’
s been wanting to make friends for ages, but you rather spu
rn
ed him. Now Uriah
’
s out of the way, he knows he can have a clear field,
”
Nonie went on with that candid heartlessness of childhood, then catching Harriet
’
s rather sad little smile, added hastily:
“
I didn
’
t mean that nastily, Harriet. I was very sorry Cousin Samantha ran over him, but he wasn
’
t a terrible loss to the fancy, was he?
”

“
The fancy?
”

“
The dog-breeding world. It
’
s a name they have.
”

“
Oh, I see. No, I suppose he wouldn
’
t be, but he was a loss to me.
”

“
Oh, yes, I know, and I
’
m sorry, but you
’
ll have Kurt. He
’
s adopted you, you see.
”

Indeed, it seemed that he had. He followed Harriet everywhere, never very demonstrative as if he was still weighing her up before deciding to present her with his heart, but always there. At first she thought he had merely attached himself to her because he was missing his master, but Delsa, though she plainly felt bereft and friendless, curled up on her blanket all day and couldn
’
t even be enticed out for a walk.

“
What shall we do?
”
asked Nonie, feeling, evidently, as aimless as Harriet now her father
’
s familiar authority was removed, and indeed, thought Harriet, there was little to do that would occupy them for a whole day without the focal point at mealtimes and the masculine comings and goings which lent a pattern and a kind of solidity to the day.

“
Let
’
s build that snowman,
”
Harriet suggested, but although the morning was as bright and invigorating as yesterday, the sparkle had gone out of things for her, and Nonie soon tired of shovelling up snow, and kicked the half-finished ef
f
igy to pieces with ominous petulance. Nonie, Harriet thought, no less than she, was troubled by undigested facts and fancies, and she returned more than once to the curious plea for assurance that Harriet was not going away. She made several attempts during the day to acquaint Harriet with details of what she described as a terrible row between her father and her Cousin Samantha, but since her information must have been arrived at by listening at doors, Harriet felt obliged to discourage her.

So the day wore on to a close and for Harriet the evening brought the thoughts which she had pushed aside all day into sharper focus. She could no longer ignore Duff
’
s absence when she ate alone in the brea
kf
ast-room, and afterwards faced his empty chair in the snug. The huge house seemed more silent than ever, Rory
’
s gay laughter a ghost that mocked her, and the pain in Duff
’
s face as she had accused
him
of not minding that it was he who had to end poor Uriah
’
s sufferings became a nagging pain in her own heart.

She tried to remember those things he had said when she flung her accusations at him, but she could scarcely remember her own bitter words, or that she had made it impossible for him to afford the comfort she had so much needed. Tired out in mind and body, she could only cling childishly to a growing sense of outrage that he should have left her summarily in her moment of distress. That business trip could surely have been postponed. Any husband who loved his wife would have put off his affairs for a day or so to cherish and comfort, but she had to remind herself at this point that there had never been any question of love between them, and that the trip to Dublin had been connected with Samantha however true it might have been that he had forbidden her his house.

Well, she had asked for it, Harriet supposed, eyeing the dying fire but not disposed to replenish it and prolong an unrewarding evening. She had known when she married him that Duff had no more to offer than tolerance and the protection of his name; it was not his fault if she had so far forgotten her own role as to fall in love with him.

There was a fresh fall of snow in the night, and Molly, when she brought up the morning tea, observed:
“
I don
’
t envy that felly on the run if he
’
s still hidin
’
up in the hills.
”

“
He must have got away from here, besides, it
’
s five days now—how would he get food in the hills?
”
Harriet said, and Molly shrugged, no longer very interested now the first excitement of an escape had worn off.

“
They say he had a gurrl hereabouts who
’
d maybe bring
him
food an
’
get him away when things are quiet again, but meself, I
’
d say you were right an
’
he
’
s away an
’
out of the country by now. Isn
’
t it the foine thing the way Kurt has taken to you, ma
’
am?
‘
Tis as if he knows you have the sore heart, the craythur.
”

“
Yes, I have the sore heart, Molly,
”
Harriet said, and the girl
l
ooked at her with a hint of mischief.

“
You
’
d be missm
’
himself more than, the poor little dog, I
’
m thinkin
’
. A house without a master
’
s like an egg without salt, Agnes says, an
’
the same goes for a woman without her man. Well, he
’
ll be home tomorrow, so you
’
ll not need to mope much longer,
”
she said, and went cheerfully away with the tray, spilling the milk as usual.

Rory had said it was time to take stock. Harriet took stock, examining her emotions carefully, retaining some, discarding others, remember
in
g that a new year was upon them, and resolutions were expected. Molly had been right. She had been moping as much for Duff as for poor Uriah, but her bitterness and sense of rejection had stood in the way of acceptance. Agnes, too, was right with her curious analogy; Clooney without a master was indeed like an egg without salt, and she, without the familiar if sometimes intimidating pattern of Duff
’
s protection, was anchorless and lost. She saw now that Rory had been right to go, that her innocent pleasure in his company might well have hurt a man who, although unable to offer love himself, had even without that shown fondness and moments of tenderness.

He had said;
Perhaps some of your faith in miracles will rub off on me
...
Was it too much of a miracle to expect that in time a little of her love might rub off on him, too? It was then that she remembered his words as she had knelt by Uriah in the snow ... he had
called her his love, like any other concerned lover, and afterwards she had said bitter things, pushed him away and thrown his comfort in his face
...

Nonie came into the room as she finished dressing and stood fingering the things on the dressing-table, aimlessly opening and shutting drawers, clearly still in yesterday
’
s mood of petulance.

“
What can we do today?
”
she kept asking, and Harriet, who had just brought herself to a more sensible state of mind, felt irritated at the prospect of having to cope with Nonie
’
s indecisions.

“
What do you do when you go off on your own and only appear at mealtimes?
”
she asked briskly.
“
Today
’
s no different from any other.
”

“
Father
’
s not here.
”

“
Well, when he is, you don
’
t see much of him—neither do I when he
’
s busy about the estate. Are you missing your Uncle Rory?
”

“
Yes, of course. You miss him, too, don
’
t you, Harriet? You don
’
t like Uncle Rory better than Father, do you? I used to, you know.
”

“
And you don
’
t now?
”

“
No.
”

“
That
’
s good. Now, if you
’
ll just move out of my way, I
’
ll turn down my bed and then we
’
ll go down to breakfast.
”

Harriet had successfully dodged the child
’
s question, but she suspected, as she had before, that
Nonie
’
s methods of gleaning information of what went on in the house might have resulted in uncomfortable conclusions.