Gravity (5 page)

“I don't hear a
thing. It’s finally quiet.”

"It should do the
trick,” the shopkeeper smiles.

"How much?"
Alex di
gs into his
pockets.

"You've already
paid." The man hands him a photo. "Here's your receipt."

"Oh," Alex
stares at the photo.

It isn't a
receipt. I catches a glimpse of the photo—a girl’s face. Alex seems
content with his transaction and leaves.

The
m
an behind
counter looks at me
,
forcing my unworthy eyes to shy away. My scalp begins to prickle as
he approaches. I feel weak, like crashing after a sugar rush, but
I'm not sleepy. My heart is pumping a little faster and a strange
sensation in the front of my body makes me want to
get closer to the
shopkeeper. I never wanted to obey a
bodily craving before—it's a terrible thing, but this is different.
This is the opposite of what I usually feel with the force between
myself and another. The man has an overwhelming gravity. His
beautiful eyes
flicker
from one color to
the next like a kaleidoscope, luring me closer.

"I'm sorry,
Gabriel." The man's voice is sincere, but there is an
attracti
ve
quality
in
i
t
t
hat matches the personal
gravity that tugs my body.

How does he know my name?

Th
e invisible tension
subsides. I know this feeling is like my own lure, but how is it
suddenly diminished? If he's like me, how come the gravity stops
without him moving away?

"I'm Red,” he
holds out his hand for a shake.
I'm afraid.

"You don't have
to
be frightened." His voice
still has a character that makes me want Red to keep talking. My
eyes switch from the shopkeeper's lips to his eyes. It’s hard not
to stare at such a handsome face and such other-worldly eyes. I
look at his out stretched hand and shake it.

The touch is
not at all what I was expecting. It feels like... nothing—a first
for me and a relief. I want to ask how he made the sensation go
away and how I don’t feel anything at all now.

“You remind me of
me.” Red smiles and his eyes settle on a sapphire color.

How can that
be? I know I'm ugly inside and dirty outside. My actions are
perverted and so is my history as a human being. I can’t even keep
from losing a friend. I'm nothing. My mouth closes and tightens at
my own self-loathing. Red is mistaken.

“
No need to
beat yourself up. You are just the opposite what you think you
are.” Red’s eyes blink and this simple, yet natural bodily habit is
beyond beautiful. “Like you, I used to think I can only be one way.
But for you, Gabriel, you can be many ways. Take a garden for
instance, in each season, it changes with the climate; cold and
dormant; warm and blossomed.

My mouth parts, but not a word comes out. No
one has ever said something so kind and something so beautiful
about him in all my life. I can’t be a garden. I'm more of a weed
in a pretty garden.

“You know better
about weeds, Gabriel." Red's brow lifts.

He's right. How
does he know that? Weeds are not what they seem, yet people are
always quick to pull them out of their garden. I hate
that.

"I know you’ve
adapted—survived,” Red’s forehead creases, “without any help. For
that I’m deeply sorry. But I can see that you're strong, brave and
beautiful.”

Before
I can oppose, Red turns away to climb
a step stool.

"I have something for you." He reaches for a
small wooden box on top of a book case full of strange masks. One
of them is black with a strange grin that looks like the reflection
I ran from. He places the box on the counter. Black birds with
ornate leaves and vines carved all around it. Red pushes the box to
me. For me? I open the box and see a golf ball sized orb glowing
like a light bulb. Upon touching it, the ball disintegrates into my
fingertips. A tingling sensation rides through my hand and up my
arm until the feeling is gone.

“
I’m
sorry.”
I look up to Red. “I
didn’t mean to kill it.”

“
Those are
funny first words,” Red laughs.

First
words?
I haven't said a word
until now.

"You seem to
understand that it's living.
It’s not dead, Gabriel. It's
alive inside you. For now it will ensure your seasonal transition
from one way to another more quickly. You'll keep it until you
don't need it. When you understand who you really are, you can give
it away.

"Give it
away
? But it's inside me." How
can something be sucked into me like that? People are lured to me;
I take and take but never give. Giving means getting close, it
means...

"Don't be
afraid to let your true self out."

The thought is
frightening. Being close is the worst thing I could ever do. I
can't burden anyone ever again, especially because of what I did to
mom and Josh. Red is mistaken; he can't possibly understand what
it's like to only take.

Blood drips down Red's forehead. His fingers
touch the blood and Red looks at it with a worrisome
expression.

"
You're
bleeding."

Red fakes a
smile as if the bleeding didn't matter. "One more thing, Gabriel—"
in an instant, a girl comes to my mind. An older girl with thick
brown wavy hair, brown eyes and a smile to die for brings a strange
feeling that I care for her, but can't place a single memory of
ever meeting her. How can I care for someone I don't
know?

The
light
in the shop
flickers.

"She'l
l be looking for
you." Red shuts his eyes. More blood drips from his forehead.
"Trust her, Gabriel."

I
suddenly feel sick. Something about
the atmosphere changed. I look behind him. The black substance is
suddenly covering everything in the shop, inching closer like black
lava. Red's nose bleeds. He falls back against the
bookcase.

"Gabriel, don't be
afraid, it's only you." Red's voice is weak.

I
clench the box in my hands, looking
for an exit, but there's nowhere to go. The black stuff reaches
behind the shop keeper's counter, creeping up the walls. It's going
to swallow me up. The antique shop goes dark. I tremble as the
substance grabs hold of my ankles and creeps up my legs. Unable to
move, I shout for Red. My arms stretch out in the direction behind
the counter where he had stood. The warm sticky substance covers my
body until I feel it swallow my head and force its way into my
mouth.

I
wake up sweating and my heart beats
out of my chest. I've never felt so relieved to be in my room. I
can't shake the feeling someone is watching me. I search the room,
but the inspection turns up empty. An instinctual feeling that
something actually happened to me nags me at the back of my
mind
.
A tingling sensation runs up my arm
and down my spine like that strange ball of light in my strange
dream.

Gabriel

G
oing to school
is
a bad idea
, but I
need to see Josh.
I need
to explain. I need
to
re
connect our
friendship
somehow
. I know it's
impossible to salvage but I want to at least try. I'd run into Josh
sooner or later
.
Th
e whole day was a
bust
;
Josh didn't show for
his classes.

After
school
,
I figure we
'd
meet at the bookstore. I'm haunted by the idea of not being
friends with him. I'd be alone, talk to no one and never visit the
Masterson home again. I was friends with him the longest and it
breaks my heart to think we can never be friends again. How will I
confront him?—
Sorry
I made you want to have sex with me.
It sounds so stupid.

I stand in front of the bookstore like an
idiot. I lean against the wall, debating on going inside because I
can't go home. I decide to go in considering the odds of seeing
him; dealing with Josh is better than dealing with my psychotic mom
and perverted stepfather.

I drop
my
book bag on the floor
thinking about how we could start over if we're to meet here
tonight. The empty adjacent space where my best friend used to sit
makes my chest hurt. I check the time. He should be here by now I
scan the area for a sign of him.

Movement
catches my eye behind bookcase. A
small perso
n
wearing a baseball cap and an
oversized hoodie
is
watching me. I suspect it's
someone from school
.
From the small frame,
round jaw and pouty lips, the spy is a girl. She’s pretending
to
read
while her eyes glance at me every few
seconds.

H
ow awkward.
I hope I didn't accidently graze
her
. I
don't need another stalker.
I
f i
gnore
her
,
she'll eventually go away. But after
two hours she doesn't. Every once in a while I'd peek up from my
comic book and there she is, pretending not to spy. She’s terrible
at it. I stay until the store closes
. Thankfully,
the girl keeps her distance. It’s dark when I leave the store
and of course the girl follows me. I was extra careful today at
school; it was clear of any close calls and touching, so why is
this girl following me? Even if I did graze her, her curiosity
would've withered away by the day's end. It’s just a girl. She’s
smaller than me, so if she’s trouble, I can out run her. Knowing
these streets better than anyone, I
'll l
ose
her.

I
turn down an alley swiftly and darts
to the end and hide behind a dumpster.

The
stalker
pauses
at the alley
opening
,
but decides to walk
pas
s.
I wait before leaving my hiding spot,
exiting the other end of the alley. She isn't around;
she must be still prowling on the
main street.

Turning the
corner quickly, I
smack in to
someone. My body vibrates like the hum of a drum. The sensation
doesn't settle but builds far too quickly for me to get a handle on
m
y
equilibrium.#
I'm pulled
forward by an unseen force. This is far different and far more
powerful than the usual sensitivity. It peels away just as quickly
as it came. I advance to the stranger in pursuit of gratification,
but to my surprise the person steps back. I've never been resisted
before. People always obey the body's requests for
pleasure.

"Stop!"

It's the
stalk
er.
She backs away, breathing heavily
from the contact. Her heart must be beating a
s
fast as mine. I want gratification. I want her. She must have
an appetite. She notices my hand grasping my belt and her
distressed eyes look to my face. A soft peep from her mouth alerts
me that's she's frightened. I've only seen that face on my brother
when that monster went after him. Am I just like my stepfather? Am
I about to hurt her? I
'm o
verwhelmed with
shame. I can't believe what I was about to do. I hide behind the
dumpster to fight my body
n
eed
s
to finish. I listen for the girl, but
it's quiet. Did she leave? I'm afraid of facing her. I don't want
to find out
even
if
my body is begging me to. I
don't trust myself. My hands tighten around my backpack straps to
push back the desire to please myself. It's the second time I've
held back.

I
look down the alley. I can run... or
I can find that girl and we could do it right here in the
alley
.
She'd want to. I recall her
expression. She didn't seem to want it. I would be hurting her for
sure if I seek her out. I grip the backpack straps. I look down the
alley. I have to run. I have to shake this off.

Before my body
changes my mind I get up and run
. The
t
ension
releases
and I feel lighter because of it.
Footsteps follow behind me. I can't believe it. It's
her.

"Gabriel!" the girl shouts.

She has to be from school. How else would she
know my name?

I quickly
turn
down an alley and hide
behind another dumpster to catch my breath. She's surprisingly
fast.

"Gabriel,
please I am not going to hurt you."
She shouts down the alley.

I
want to laugh. Of course she isn't
going to hurt me. I'd be the one hurting her.