Gravitate (7 page)

“Audi, and thanks, my dad bought it for me – h
e doesn’t drive anything else.
I think he was trying to br
ibe me into studying economics.
Was it that wall?” He pointed to the wall that edged our front garden.

“That’s the one – watch out for it, it’s evil and will tr
y to jump out and hit your car! My mum hit it once, too.”
I giggled at the memory of my dad jumping up and down as my mum had told him the car was only metal and it could be repaired.

“Evil wall. Got it.
And what exactly don’t you like about turning
right?”
Ben started the engine and reversed, very carefully, out of the driveway.

“Righ
t is so much harder than left.
You have two l
ots of traffic to look out for.
With a left turn, you only have to watch out for one lot of traffic.”

“So, if you pass your test, you’re only going to go places if you can turn left all the way there and not have to do any right turns?” He smiled as he signalled right onto the main road.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Or you could get a willing slave to drive you around?”

“I could do.”

“I’d do that for you.” He glanced over at me.
I could feel a heat burning on my cheeks that was nothing to do with passion, or attraction, and everyt
hing to do with embarrassment.
It was time to be honest.

“I wouldn’t want you to.
I mean, I don’t like
to take advantage of friends.”
I hoped he’d get the message from that.

“I don’t think you’d be taking advantage.” Clearly, the message was not received.

“Did you have any lectures today?” I tried changing the subject.

“Oh, yeah, I did, it was quite funny actually; we were doing an exploration of the roles of women in the American sitcoms of the 1950s, looking at Lucille Ball…” Ben happily rattled off the amusing facts he’d absorbed in his lecture for several minutes, requiring as little input as possible
from me.
By the time he’d moved on to talking about the subservient role of Jeannie in ‘I Dream of
Jeannie’ we were at the cinema.
“Of course, what Des, our lecturer, failed to take into account was that Jeannie isn’t a typical woman of the 1960s being forced into working for Captain Nelson, because she is, in actual fact, a genie, and the
refore she isn’t really human.
She isn’t a woman trapped by the social expectations of her generation, she’s trapped
by the rules of being a genie.
I’m boring you, are
n’t I?
”

“No, not at all, your cou
rse sounds really interesting.
If being trapped by social expectations is your thing, then you’ll love Pride and Prejudice.”

“Great, I already bought our tickets this afternoon, so we’ll have more time to talk before the film.” He smiled, and I was sure he was about to try to hold my hand, so I quickly shoved it into my pocket. “Can I buy you a red wine, my fair lady?”

“I should pay for the drinks, seeing as you bought the tickets.”

“Don’t be silly, a gentleman always pays.”

“Well, at least let me buy the popcorn in the cinema.” In my head I was screaming at myself to just tell him I didn’t see this as a date, but the longer
I left it, the harder it got.
In the bar, I had a few moments of peace as he went to get the drinks
.
I
had only one person on my mind.
I’d had Marty’s mobile phone number from when he moved in, but
I’d never had to use it before.
I quickly pulled out my mobile phone and began texting:

How’s the studying going?

I willed him to respond before Ben came
back.
Seeing something from him migh
t give me the courage I needed.
Luckily for me, there was a big queue at the bar.

Thrilling.
How’s your date going?

My heart gave an excited leap, just to see
words on a screen typed by him.
I looked up, and saw Ben
had just started ordering.
I typed my reply feverishly.

It’s not a date. I don’t like him like that.
I’m just about to tell him.

That was all I could manage to type out before Ben headed back
to the table with our drinks.

“A Merlot for the fair lady.
”
He placed the glass down in front of me, and I inwardly cringed twice; once for the ‘fair lady’ comment and again for the awkwardness of the situation.

“Thanks, Ben.  I really appreciate you taking me out tonight, I just wanted to make it clear that I’d like to be friends with you, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, or think
I’m leading you on or anything.
” I
’d
started gabbling my words
in my rush to get things straightened out
.

“Are you already seeing someone?” Ben didn’t seem angry, just confused.

“No. Well, not really.
But that’s not the
point.
I just don’t feel ready to date so soon after everything that has happened.” I didn’t
want to dig myself into a hole.
After all, nothing co
ncrete had happened with Marty.
Only that I’d fallen in love with him.

“I totally understand.
I’m just a
little bit confused.”
He looked amused and a smile was crinkling at the corner of his lips.

“Confused?
Why?”

“Well, I thought yo
u were looking for a boyfriend.
Marty told me you were single and he
thought we’d be a great couple.
He told me how wonderful you were an
d how I’d be lucky to have you.
He said he thought it was des
tiny for us to end up together.
In the short time I’ve known him I’
ve never known him to be wrong.
I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

I felt like the air had been sucked out of me and I took a comforting swig of my wine to steady me and give me a little thinking time before I reacted.

“When did he say that?”

“A few day
s ago; just before he moved in.
I guess he didn’t know as much a
bout you as he thought he did.
Look, let’s just forget about who said what and
just have a nice evening out.
Friends?” He smiled and I couldn’t see any animosity in his eyes.

“Friends.” I smiled back and
held out my hand to shake his.
He bypassed my hand and punched me on the arm.

“That’s
what friends do.
Now, about this popcorn…”

It had turned into a pleasant evening; the film had been good, and I’d managed to put my emotions
on hold for a couple of hours.
After Ben dropped me back home, how
ever, it was a different story.
I felt myself begin to tremble with ang
er as I put my key in the door.
It was nearly eleven but I knew Marty was still up, as I’d seen the TV
flickering through the window.

“Marty?”
I called out, rage seeping into my voice.

“Claudia!
I was just wond
ering how your date was going.
Since you didn’t reply to my message
, I assumed it had gone well.”
He looked so innocent, I was sure I could see a
halo if I looked hard enough.

“You didn’t get my reply?” I grabbed my mobile phone out of my handbag and, sure enough, my second message to Marty wa
s sitting in my drafts folder.
I hadn’t hit the send button. “Well, I told him I didn’t want to
be anything other than friends.
Then we had a very interesting conversation about how you’d told him all about me, how much I needed a boyfriend and how he should be it,” I could feel the anger taking over and my words spilling out without perm
ission. “What are you, my pimp? Seriously, what is going on?
Is
it a try before you buy thing?”
I could feel the humiliation spreading throughout my body and
tears springing from my eyes.
Marty stood up and calmly walked across to me.

“Have I ever done anything to make you think I would want to hurt you in any way?” He cupped my face in his hands.

“No,” I tried to catch my breath. “Not until I heard this.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I always had your best interests at heart?”

“Yes.” I could only manage one word answers now.

“And would you understand that sometimes the thing that is in your best interests is not the same as what is in my heart?”

“Huh?” He’d lost me, and in spite of the situation, I laughed at my response.

“Dear Claudia.
Dear, s
weet, funny, delicate Claudia.
Who would have thought that little Claudia Lee would be my undoing?” He wiped
the tears off my cheeks again.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” I whispered.

“I th
ink the damage is already done.
I’ve broke
n the only rule I had to keep.”
He looked so serious; it looked like he was in pain.

“What rule was that?”

“I wasn’t meant to fall in love with you.”

“You are?
I feel the same way a
bout you.” I beamed despite my tears.

“Shhh. You can’t say it to me.
Please.”

“I don’t understand.
Who made this rule?” It had all seemed so bright a moment ago.

“To explain that, wo
uld be to explain why I’m here.
And I don’t know if I can do that. If they find out, it coul
d jeopardise my very existence.
Whatever you do, Claudia, d
o not tell me that you love me.
Will you promise me that?”

“Of course. I trust you.”
Despite knowing so little about
him, I trusted him completely.
He’d left me with more questions than
answers, but it didn’t matter.
I had
the only answer that mattered. He loved me.
I moved my hands up his chest and linked them around the back of his neck; h
is hands slid down to my waist.
Our bodies felt so right pressed up together
, heartbeats falling into step.
We stared into each other’s e
yes, and our lips moved closer.
O
ur breathing was synchronised.
The rest of the world, and all the obstacles in our way, were instantly
forgotten the moment we kissed.
Nothing else mattered.
We were together.

Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning env
eloped in warm, fuzzy feelings. It had been real. He loved me.
I breathed in the morning air, with a wonderful feeling that all was right
with the world.
I had questions, but there were no answers th
at would change the way I felt.
The clouds had parted and the sunlight filtered into my world.

I rolled over and saw Marty, awake, on the other side of the bed, but on top
of the duvet I was underneath.
The last night dri
fted back through my memories.
My anger, his honesty, and the kissi
ng. Lots and lots of kissing.
He’d carried me up the stairs and we’d kissed u
ntil I fell asleep in his arms.
I knew, without looking,
that I was still fully dressed.
Our connectio
n was more than just physical.
A love like ours needed no rushing, as it knew no time.

“Good morning
.” Marty’s wide eyes smiled at me.

“Good morning. I’m glad you’re still here.”
I couldn’t hide
my excitement at his presence.

“I’m glad to be here.
I’ve never been more glad to be so
mewhere in my whole existence.”
His d
imples became more pronounced.

“I’ve never been more glad to see anyone in my room in the morning.”

“I’m not imposing?
You wouldn’t let go of me last night, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I do
n’t ever want to let go of you.
You will never be imposing on me.”

“Well, I certai
nly don’t want to go anywhere.
Aren’t you even bothered that I haven’t told you any details?”