Grapes of Wrath (Billionaires' Secrets Book 2) (19 page)

He took a step toward her. “Somewhere you have more distance. More control.”

Her belly, contracted as he stepped into her personal space. His scent assaulted her, brashly male, soap and skin and sweat from a long day.

She blinked, trying to fight off a rush of feelings. “I don’t want to harm the growing relationship between you and Tarrant. But I don’t want to destroy your relationship with Ignacio either.”

“It’s always about someone else, isn’t it? It’s never about
you.”

She faltered. “I’ve just been a messenger here. A facilitator. But I can’t play that role anymore, so I’m leaving.”

“Huh. Like your parents. Bringing the word of God— or Tarrant Hardcastle in this case—to change the lives of everyone around them. Then they pack their bags and move on.”

Susannah stood speechless. “This has nothing to do with my parents.”

“No? I think you learned to live as a permanent tourist. Always on the outside, looking in. Offering advice and keeping a scientific distance.”

He took one step closer. She could feel his body heat, almost hear his pulse in the air. Her own heartbeat raced and thundered.

“Until you met me.” He seized her around the waist and pressed his lips to hers, hard, hot and unrelenting. She tried to push back, to regain control, but her legs buckled and suddenly her arms were around his strong back, clinging to him.

Emotion flooded through her, devastating in its intensity. Even as she kissed him back with force, she couldn’t help hating him for this last show of the humiliating power he had over her.

He pulled back as fast as he’d started. Stepped away. Left her shivering and tingling and gasping for breath. “It’s just sex isn’t it? Simple lust.” Eyes narrowed and mouth savage, he stood a couple of feet from her.

She nodded.

“I’m sure you can analyze it out of existence if you try hard enough. Leaving is a good start.”

He stared at her. Daring her to just turn and go. To put him and Tierra de Oro behind her and get on with her life. To go where she felt safe, protected from the emotional storms she’d helped unleash and which had now buffeted her own life right off course.

He looked at her feet. Perhaps waiting for them to move. To start walking along the brick walkway to the house. Someone, possibly Amado, had driven her car back to the house from the vineyard. Her bag was already in the trunk.

But as his eyes rested on her feet—low-heeled ballet flats now covered with sandy dust—she couldn’t help but remember that foot massage he’d given her on her first night. She was a stranger, an obnoxious and rather arrogant one from a foreign country, with a crazy tale that insulted his family, and he’d taken the time to help her relax and feel at home. In his bed.

Emotion welled up and spilled out into words. “It’s your fault too. I didn’t ask to be seduced. I’ve never slept with anyone, ever, on any of my business trips. You started it!” Her playground-style accusation rang in the air.

“Of course. I led you astray. I apologize.” His dark eyes glittered.

“I thought it would be fun,” she blathered on. “I didn’t realize—” She paused and swallowed hard.

“Didn’t realize what? That you’re a woman, capable of feelings?”

Her breathing was audible and she could barely control it. She blinked as the sun slipped behind the barn roof and sent a sharp ray directly into her line of vision. “Yes,” she whispered.

Feelings. That simple word really didn’t describe the disturbing and confusing array of sensations and emotions that bedeviled her whenever she even thought of Amado.

Why couldn’t they say goodbye nicely? Why did he have to be so hostile? She’d simply done what she was asked to do. She hadn’t meant to hurt anyone.

Her chest constricted. “I’ll never forget our time together.” Unable to stand there a moment longer without bursting into angry and ashamed sobs, she turned and ran along the brick path, blinded by hot tears.

Chapter Seventeen

A
mado stared after Susannah as she ran. Anger surged through him. She could just run away and leave? In a few hours, she’d be on a plane. Back in the States. Getting on with her life.

I’ll never forget our time together.

A shocked laugh fled his lips. He was just another snapshot in her mental photo album. She dismissed their deep connection as just another of his “affairs with foreign visitors.”

He’d brought her here to get her out of his system. To slake the crazy lust she aroused in him. He’d planned to enjoy her until he grew tired of her charms, then send her on her way.

And now she was leaving because she didn’t want to
deal
anymore? She’d quit the job she loved to get away from
him
?

“Hey, fool, why aren’t you running after her?”

He spun around to see Rosa standing on the path, a bowl of fresh eggs in her hands.

“Run after her? What for? She’s dying to get away.”

“Maybe she thinks she is, but you know better.”

“What are you talking about, you crazy old woman?” She walked toward him, looked right at him with those penetrating dark eyes that could read his mind since he was a barefoot brat.

“She loves you.” She said it quietly. The words rested in the air between them for a few seconds.

“No, she doesn’t. She’s leaving of her own free will.”

“Just like Valentina left of her own free will all those years ago?” She shook her head. “You could have gone away with her, but you didn’t because you knew that your place was at Tierra de Oro.”

“She turned me away.”

“She did it because she loved you and she wanted to keep your family together.”

Her words cut deep. The truth hurt. “Ignacio drove her away.”

“And now you’re going to let him do the same thing again? I’ve worked for this family since I was a girl and Ignacio’s always been too stubborn and pigheaded for his own good. He loved Clara for ten agonizing years before you finally came along and brought them together in a so-called ‘business arrangement’. It was pathetic the way the two of them pussyfooted around each other, pretending they didn’t love each other for all those years. If you hadn’t come along, they’d probably still be moping about and sleeping alone.”

She blew out an exasperated snort. “I’m too old to watch another Alvarez push away the woman he loves because of his stupid pride. Run after her!” She gestured with a gnarled hand.

Amado couldn’t help turning to look down the path. Susannah was already out of sight. A fierce pang of loss kicked him in the gut. “She doesn’t love me.”

His words came out low and kind of choked. Humiliating. He couldn’t even believe he was arguing with his ninety-something former nursemaid over this.

“She does, and she’s showed her love by trying to save your family, even if it means leaving here for good.”

He frowned, squinting in the sun. How did Rosa always know everything?

She raised a hand in the air. “And you love her too, even if you’re too thick-skulled to realize it right now. Now, get out of my way before these eggs turn sour. Shoo!”

A rough volley of barking propelled him along the path back to the house. He jogged, but didn’t run. He wasn’t going to chase after another woman who could walk out of his life without a backward glance.

But when he saw the scene in front of the house, he broke into a sprint. Castor and Polux had Susannah pinned to the gravel beside her rented car.

“Help!” Her voice rose through the gruff barks.

Castor leaned over to lick her face. Amado stopped running. A smile crept across his face. “They’re not hurting you.” The dogs seemed to be lavishing her with affection.

“They don’t know their own strength. And one of them is standing on my dress so I can’t get up.”

Polux had planted himself neatly over her legs, pinning her on both sides and in the middle by standing on the skirt of her floaty dress. His dogs turned to look up at him with their mournful, doting stares.

Did we do good, Daddy?

He couldn’t keep a raw burst of laughter from leaving his mouth. “I don’t think they want to let you leave.” He summoned the dogs off her and offered his hand.

She took it. As he pulled her to her feet he noticed her face was streaked with tears.

His stomach coiled into a knot. “What happened? Are you okay? My dogs don’t usually act like this.”

“I just wanted to pet them goodbye. Give them a hug.” She inhaled shakily. “And they got carried away and knocked me over.”

“They’re affectionate dogs.”

“I know.” She blinked and two fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “I still remember their enthusiastic greeting on my first visit. I’ll miss them.”

The rift of loss in Amado’s gut opened into a chasm.

You can’t leave.

Could Rosa be right? He frowned, trying to gather his thoughts. He tended to get overwhelmed by emotion and sensation around Susannah and he couldn’t think straight.

Was this love? It felt more like madness.

Susannah looked right at him, her eyelashes glittering with tears. “I’ll miss you very much.”

Her raw, personal confession kicked him where it hurt. Right now he couldn’t imagine life without her. He wanted to take her to his bed. Not even for sex. Just to hold her.

“Why do you have to leave?” The words departed his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. They came out gruff and demanding.

“I’ve caused enough trouble. I thought I was helping, but I’m not. I’ve made a mess and I don’t know how to fix it.” Her shoulders shook as a sob racked her. “I got personally involved when I shouldn’t have.”

“Who says you shouldn’t have?” He took a step toward her. Fought the urge to bury his hand in her loose dark hair.

“You.” She lifted her chin.

He stopped. He had told her to stay out of his business. To leave Clara and Ignacio alone. Her meddling attempts to repair his broken family suddenly touched him.

“And you’re right,” she continued, head held high. “I don’t want to tell you what to do with your vineyard. I especially don’t want to tell you to do something that I don’t think is right.”

“I value your advice.”

“I know.” That familiar little groove appeared next to her brow. “You’ve taken my unwanted advice with such good grace. Treated me with respect and offered me your hospitality. It was all okay as long as I was just doing my job, representing my boss.” She paused and he watched her chest rise and fall inside her delicate dress.

Longing mingled with desire choked him.

“But you’re right. I can’t go through life being someone else’s representative. I have to do what I, Susannah Clarke, think is right. I couldn’t live with a clear conscience if I did anything to hurt the estate or the people who love it.”

“Because you also love Tierra de Oro.”

She bit her lip, that thoughtful line still deep. “Yes, if you can love a place on such short acquaintance.”

He could see her attempting to analyze and understand. Her busy mind trying so hard to tackle something that could never be understood, only felt. The urge to hold her, to simply take her in his arms, was almost unbearable. “Some people say you can fall in love at first sight.”

“That’s not love. That’s attraction.” She tilted her head. “But it invites you to explore. To seek out the spirit of a place. Or to wait for it to reveal itself to you. That doesn’t take long.”

“Maybe only a single day.”

“Or one night.” The tears appeared again.

They weren’t talking about just a place, anymore.

I’m too old to watch another Alvarez push away the woman he loves because of his stupid pride.
Rosa’s words buzzed in his confused brain, tangled with the thoughts and feelings gathering there.

Ever since Susannah had come to Tierra de Oro on her difficult errand, he’d been unable to get her out of his mind. When she wasn’t around, he missed the light that sparkled in her dark eyes. He hungered for her thoughtful opinions and craved the touch of her gentle hands.

“Susannah.” He stepped forward and picked up her hand, which trembled in his. “You coming here awakened something in me. Something good and something bad.” He frowned, trying to organize his thoughts. “Bad because I learned I’d been lied to by the people I loved most. But good, because in testing those relationships I realized how much I have to lose.”

His heart ached almost to bursting as he struggled to put his feelings into words. “I think the worst thing that could happen, Susannah—” he squeezed her hand, too hard probably, as adrenaline spiked through him “—would be to lose you.”

She stared at him, blinking. Confusion fluttered across her always-composed face.

“What I’m trying to say is...” He dragged in a breath. “Is that I love you.”

His words reverberated in the air, and seemed to bounce off the old stucco facing of his familiar home, off the gravel of the road and the sharp blue sky.

“I love you, too.”

Her reply startled him. He was still wrapped up in his own pronouncement. In how true it felt and what a huge relief it was to get the confession off his chest.