Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel (16 page)

She knew exactly what that felt like. “Sometimes, when the pain is so hard, it makes the world dark.”

“That was how my life was. Filled with darkness instead of light. I had shut him out. As soon as I realized that if I trust him with so much, I should also trust him with my pain and burdens, too … and I felt better.”

“I’m glad for that.” Looking at their hands clasped together, thinking about how much easier it was to talk to each other, she shyly added, “Tonight, you seem different.”

“I feel different, too. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“In the back of my mind, I had been counting the hours until I would leave. I’ve been uncomfortable here, seeing all the other couples. This inn has been nothing that I imagined.”

“For me, too. For some reason, I had hoped that I could fade into the woodwork and not be seen.”

“I had thought we’d be one of many guests.”

Looking at their linked fingers again, she said, “Instead, we stick out like sore thumbs.”

“But now, I’m determined to enjoy each day to the fullest. I don’t want to wish away Christmas. I want to enjoy these last moments of Advent and look forward to Jesus’s birth with anticipation.”

“I, too, am eager for that.” After squeezing her hand, he released it.

“There seems to be a bond between us. Maybe it’s because we both know hardship and pain. Melody, can we make a truce of some kind? Can we decide to become friends?”

“I would like that. It would be
wunderbaar, jah?”

He grinned. “It would be
wunderbaar schee.”

Melody smiled right back. It would be wonderful nice, indeed.

December 23, 6:30
P.M.

Leah grimaced as her mother let loose another emotional tirade. “Mother,
no.
I do not want you to meet me in Cincinnati. I’m fine.”

“I don’t think so. Everything you’ve been doing is completely out of character for you, Leah. You don’t hang out with men you’ve hardly met. Remember what happened to Melody?”

Like she could ever forget. “This isn’t the same situation, Mom. You and I both know that. Plus, I know Zack well now.”

“So you say.” Her voice lowered. “Are you in trouble? Do you feel like he’s forcing his company on you?”

“Uh, no. Mom. I’m a sensible person. I don’t do things without a reason.”

“I used to think that, but now I’m not so sure. You’re worrying me. I can’t believe you are going to visit Melody in the company of a man you hardly know. What will she think?”

Leah prayed for patience. “Now we’re worrying about Melody’s opinion of me? Mom, don’t you think you’re taking things a little too far?”

“I don’t think far enough. Please, why don’t you reconsider this journey you’re on?”

“I think differently. And it is a journey. I truly feel that
God has been in charge of this trip of mine since the moment I left our driveway. There’s been too many coincidences to think otherwise.”

“You sound like your head’s in the clouds.”

“Well, maybe it is.” Gentling her voice, she said, “Mom … Zack is different. He’s a good man. He’s a police officer.”

“That means nothing. It doesn’t mean he’s perfect.”

“I don’t want perfect.”

“You should in this case. Leah, you really do need to rethink these sudden decisions of yours. I’m afraid you’re going to look back on this moment and really regret it. Be smarter.”

Leah knew everything her mother said made sense. She knew everything her mother said was from concern, too. Because she cared.

But that didn’t mean she was right.

The strained silence that fell between them felt awkward when she hung up the phone and breathed deeply. She and her mom had rarely ever fought. Their relationship had been a unique one in Leah’s circle of friends.

Usually, her mom seemed to “get” her. She usually trusted Leah, and the feeling was mutual. Leah trusted her mother’s instincts about people, and about making the right choices in life. She’d always felt like she could tell her mom anything.

But this time, she regretted doing so.

Maybe it was all that coaching that her mom had done over the years, coaxing Leah to be strong and independent, persuading her to think for herself—because, right
now, she felt she wasn’t making a terrible mistake by going with Zack.

As Leah walked back to the truck from the gas station they had stopped at, Zack saw the look on her face. “Uoh. What happened?”

“Do I look that obvious? Sorry. I just got off the phone with my mother.”

“And?”

“And she doesn’t think it’s very smart of me to go anywhere with you.”

His face became a mask as he continued forward. Leah stepped to the side when he opened the passenger door for her. Then he turned to her. “Do you want to go by yourself now? If you do … I’d understand. We can turn around.”

“I don’t know,” she answered quickly. Not because she wanted to do anything but go to Adams County with him. But because now, suddenly, she wondered if she had been acting too rashly.

With measured movements, he straightened and closed the truck’s door, then walked around to his side. “What are you unsure about?” he asked quietly as he settled into the driver’s seat.

“I guess we don’t know each other all that well.”

“Ah. Well, okay. Is there anything special you want to know?”

“You know that’s not how it works. You don’t get to know someone by asking each other twenty questions.” She winced as she heard the last of her comment. She sounded sharp and shrill.

Maybe even immature.

But instead of losing patience, Zack seemed to turn even more understanding. “Leah, I wouldn’t have offered to take you to the inn if I didn’t want to be with you. I told you before, I don’t pick up girls on the highway. Everything that’s happened between us, it’s not the norm for me.”

“It’s not for me, either.”

“I know. That’s why I brought you by my parents’ home. I wanted you to meet them, and for them to meet you. I’m not hiding anything, Leah.”

His words made sense. “And here, I thought it was all about those puppies,” she said, lightly teasing.

“I hoped you’d go for the puppies. I hoped when you got there, you might feel more comfortable around me.”

“I do. I’m not afraid.”

For a moment, his gaze warmed. Her breathing quickened. For a moment, his eyes drifted over her face, glanced at her lips.

In that second, she knew he was thinking about kissing her. Instinctively, she knew that she would have let him. There was that strong of a pull between them.

But he didn’t. “So, are you ready?”

“I am.” She looked in the backseat. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s in the cooler?”

“Snacks and sandwiches and a couple of bottles of water. My mom’s idea. Even though I’m on the highway all day with my work, and could really use a sandwich every now and then, as soon as I tell her I’m traveling across the state line, she starts packing supplies.”

“Then we won’t go hungry.”

Zack buckled up and turned on the ignition. “You’re exactly right. No matter what happens, we won’t go hungry.”

Leah’s stomach knotted. It was probably her imagination, but for a moment there, his words sounded extremely ominous.

December 23, 7:00
P.M.

Later that evening, Melody spied Levi sitting on the floor with Mary Lundy, Katie and Jonathan’s eldest daughter. Around them was a mountain of yarn, all of it twisted and tangled.

“What are you two doing?” she asked as she came to join them.

“Sorting yarn,” he replied. “Please join us.”

Levi looked so overwhelmed, surrounded by the mountain of string, that Melody couldn’t resist his cry for help. Or tease him a bit. “I will … if you’re sure you don’t mind?”

“Please. Have a seat.”

“All right.” Knowing better than to sit on the floor—if she did that, she wouldn’t be able to get up—she sat
on a nearby chair and grabbed a fistful of yellow, orange, and green. Strands snaked around and popped out like in a photo of a giant squid she’d seen in a textbook. A few longer pieces continued through to the ball on Mary’s lap. “These are tangled horribly! Mary, how did it get this way?”

“Our cat found my
mamm’s
yarn basket and played with it last weekend.” With a dramatic grimace, she added, “Katie was terribly upset, I tell ya. She said Patches almost ruined it all.”

“Patches sure tried his best,” Levi muttered.

Mary ignored him. “As my Christmas gift to her, I offered to sort it.”

Melody nodded in her direction seriously. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind if Levi and I stayed for a bit to help?”

“I wouldn’t mind, but Katie might get mad. This is my job.”

“If she spies us, I’ll tell her I offered. Untangling all this yarn is a difficult thing.”

“It’s awful! I’d throw it all out and go buy new yarn if I could.”

“That would be a waste of good money,” Levi murmured. “I don’t mind sitting here and helping. Do you, Melody?”

His dark eyes flickered her way. Once again inviting her closer. Inviting her to reach out to people. To enjoy the other’s company instead of feeling overwhelmed. “I don’t mind at all. It will be fun.”

Mary snorted. “This ain’t fun.”

Instead of correcting her surly attitude, Levi just laughed. “There are worse chores to do, I promise you that.”

Melody dug through her clump. After pulling apart strands and searching, she uncovered what she was looking for, just like a prize. “I’ve got the end of the yellow.”

“I have the green,” Mary offered.

“And I have brown.” Levi’s eyes twinkled. “The most masculine color.”

“It suits you,” Melody quipped.

He grinned at her, his expression revealing his surprise. “I didn’t know you could joke.”

“I might have forgotten, but I do have a sense of humor,” she murmured. “There was a time when I used to always tease people around me.”

“I used to laugh more, too,” Levi said.

In between them, Mary sighed.

Melody glanced at Mary. “Are we boring you, child?”

“No,” she said quickly, obviously too polite to speak her mind.

But five minutes later, when her little sister peeked in, the look on Mary’s face was priceless. “Hannah, do ya need something?”

“Winnie’s going to take me for a walk to gather pin-cones. She said you could come.”

Glaring at the yarn, she shook her head. However, the rest of her looked wistful. “I best not.”

“Why don’t you go, Mary?” Levi surprised them by saying. “There’re plenty of knots here. They’ll be some when you get back still.”

She looked from one to the other. “You don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Melody said, surprising herself. She was eager to be alone with Levi. Eager to learn more about
him, and about how he used to be, without Mary’s ears.

“Go now,” Levi prodded. “Holidays are for spending time with your family and friends. Go enjoy yourself.”

That seemed to be all the encouragement she needed. With a swish of her skirts, she was off and running.

The moment it was just the two of them, Levi stood up with a groan. “Never again let me ever complain about women’s work. Sitting here, trying to sort out those strands, is tiring. I need to stretch.”

“It is kind of you to even help her as much as you did.”

She started to move his pile of yarn toward herself.

“Don’t—” He reached out and covered her hand with his own, stopping her. When their fingers touched, she stilled.

He pulled his own hand away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab at you like that.”

The proper thing to do would be to pretend nothing had happened. But try as she might, she couldn’t. “You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t grab.”

“I don’t want to frighten you.”

If the memories weren’t so hard to bear, she would have told him just how different his touch had been from the other man’s. “You didn’t frighten me. I promise.”

Then, because she was learning a bit more about herself … and because she knew he was suffering in his own way, she reached out to him. This time, she carefully placed her hand on top of his. Not to caress. Just to still.

But just the same, his hand trembled slightly. It was obvious he, too, didn’t know where their boundaries lay.

Quietly, she said, “Ever since I was raped, no one—man or woman—dared touch me. At first I was grateful for it.”

“But now?”

“Now I have to admit to missing human contact. Being scared and unsure, it wasn’t who I was. It wasn’t who I used to be. Deep down, I don’t think it’s who I am now.”

Ever so slowly, he rotated his hand so her palm slowly perched inside of it. “Used to be, I wasn’t so stern. I wasn’t so judgmental. Far less used to make me frown.” He swallowed. “And I never, ever shied away from my wife’s touch.”

As if their hands belonged to other people, Levi’s fingers spread and she slipped her fingers through his. Linking their hands. Heat rushed through her skin, sinking into the fine muscles of her palm. Sinking into her bones.

They were connected.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something. Your hand, it feels good in mine,” he murmured. She heard a thread of wonder there.

The same wonder she felt. Unable to speak, she nodded.

Just as slowly, their hands loosened. She pulled her hand away. Dug it into the wad of string. “Back to work?”

He pulled up a chair and sat near her. “Back to work,” he murmured.

However, he didn’t look that upset about it.

Neither was she. In fact, it was so nice sitting with him she could almost ignore the twinges of pain she’d started to feel in her back.

As well as the fact that they seemed to be coming at regular intervals.

December 24, 1:00
A.M.

Jonathan rolled over and opened one bleary eye. “Katie, is the storm keeping you up?”

As the wind whipped another burst of snow and ice against the windowpane, she shivered. “The storm’s bad, but I’ve been worried about our boy.”