Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens (13 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Schaertl

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BOOK: Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens
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2
Peel the eggs and roughly chop them up into small pieces, then put the chopped eggs into a large mixing bowl. Thinly slice the white and green parts of the scallion, reserving a handful of the green parts for the garnish.

3
Add the balsamic vinegar and mayonnaise to the eggs, and fold the mixture together very gently, until just combined. Now fold in the dill and onions. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

4
Evenly cover your serving platter with the tomato slices and lightly season with salt and pepper. Top the tomato layer with egg salad, sprinkle with the reserved green parts of the scallion, wrap tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for several hours. Serve ice cold.

Wassup!
Wasabi Chicken Salad

Serves 8

The Asian-style barbeque dressing imparts both a creamy and spicy flavor, while the onions and peanuts provide a lovely crunch to the pale green salad. You can substitute slivered almonds for the peanuts without crapping out on this gourmet recipe.

Sea salt, to taste

1 pound chicken breasts, boneless and skinless

1 pound chicken thighs, boneless and skinless

½ cup rice wine vinegar

2 tablespoons wasabi powder

2 tablespoons sour cream

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger

1 clove garlic, minced

Black pepper, to taste

3 tablespoons chopped fresh mint

3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

¼ cup thinly sliced red onion

¼ cup peanuts, toasted

½ cup roughly chopped dried apricots

Napa cabbage leaves, as needed

1 tablespoon black sesame seed (the black adds color contrast to the dish)

1
Fill your 12-quart stockpot halfway with water, and put on a burner at high heat. When it begins to simmer, add 3 tablespoons of sea salt and let it dissolve.

Using your chef's knife, remove the fat from the chicken.

2
When the water comes to a boil, turn the heat slightly down. Use your tongs to gently set the breasts and thighs into the pot. Simmer them for exactly 10 minutes, then remove them with your tongs, and put them into a bowl and cover with ice. Allow them to chill for about 5 minutes and remove from the ice. Pat dry. Roughly chop the chicken into fairly small pieces, and toss into a mixing bowl.

3
Put the rice wine vinegar in your blender, and sprinkle the wasabi powder over it. Add the sour cream and pulse the mixture until smooth, and then slowly drizzle in the olive oil while blending on a low speed. Add the soy sauce, ginger, and garlic, then pulse to combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

4
Add about ¼ cup of the dressing to the chopped chicken and toss lightly to combine. Add the mint, cilantro, onion, peanuts, and apricots and toss again. Taste the salad at this point to see if you would like more dressing, salt, or pepper.

5
Cover your serving platter with Napa cabbage leaves and mound the chicken salad on top. Wrap tightly and store in the refrigerator until ready to serve. Serve ice cold and garnish with black sesame seeds.

Swap It

YOU CAN SWITCH up protein sources in your salad recipes. Make wasabi potato salad, pesto egg salad, or balsamic chicken salad. Decide what best suits your guests, your menu, the occasion, and your Crappy Little Kitchen. I envisioned these salads as picnic-style recipes, so I recommend plating them as platters, but please feel free to experiment with them on individual plates for lunch by using your favorite bread for sandwiches or topping a large dinner salad.

Exquisite
Entrées

At last, the main event! Don't let crappy service

get in the way of your gourmet dining dreams. Here you will learn how to prepare complete meals at home that look and taste like they came from a five-star restaurant.

Fine dining establishments put great effort into serving food that looks superb on the plate, and in chef-talk we call this presentation. One of the easiest ways to achieve a gourmet presentation is to add height to the food on the plate. Carefully consider side dishes and accompaniments for your entrée that will literally help your dish stand up. The Snake-Charmin' Moroccan Lamb Chops can stand on their own bones to create dramatic height, which is why they can be paired with the Saffron Couscous that doesn't have much volume, while the Stuffed Chicken Breast might need a buttery mound of Garlic Whipped Potatoes to lean on.

The key to gourmet presentation involves arranging the food in an interesting manner and garnishing the plate to add color and contrast.

Color plays an imperative role in successful presentation. Garnish and choose side dishes that will compliment the main entrée. Each element on the plate should “pop” with color as well as flavor. Trust me, where color goes, flavor follows.

I'll provide you with my recipe pairing suggestions, as well as many ideas for impressive presentations. Start out by using my recommendations, then experiment on your own. Pay attention to how your plate is composed when dining out. Try different techniques, and don't be afraid when some fall flat. The most wonderful way to learn what works and what fails in terms of presentation and flavor is by cooking and eating! Now, dinner is served.

Hunka Hunka Monkfish

Serves 4

This dish stands out for its gourmet taste and restaurant-quality presentation. Serve it to guests when you want to impress.

3 tablespoons Champagne vinegar

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1 inch fresh ginger, peeled and sliced

2 garlic cloves, sliced

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

½ tablespoon chopped flat leaf parsley

½ tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon

4 8-ounce portions monkfish fillets, boneless and skinless

Sea salt, to taste

Black pepper, to taste

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1
In a small bowl, whisk the Champagne vinegar while slowly drizzling in olive oil. Add the sliced ginger, sliced garlic, red pepper flakes, and fresh herbs.

2
Place the monkfish into a gallon-size storage bag, and completely cover the fish with the marinade. Refrigerate to marinate for 15 minutes, massaging the fish once during those 15 minutes, making sure it is coated evenly. Don't leave it marinating longer that 25 minutes or the vinegar will begin to cook the outside of your fish.

Did You Know This Crap?

Always use fresh, never frozen fish. Fish is especially damaged by freezing because of its high water content. When frozen, that water inside the fish obviously freezes—expanding and tearing the delicate flesh of the fish. When the fish is defrosted, the water just runs out of those tears along with much of the flavor. The texture will now be inferior along with the taste, and whatever cooking process you use will definitely dry out your dinner.

3
Put your 12-inch sauté pan over medium-high heat. Take the monkfish from the marinade and remove the chunks of garlic and ginger. They will not only burn in the hot pan but neither you nor your guests want to bite into a big slice of ginger or garlic. Season each fillet lightly with salt and pepper. While the pan is warming up, add the butter and swirl it around as it melts to coat the pan completely.

4
Once hot, carefully add your fish to the pan making sure the fillets don't touch each other and that the most attractive (the smoothest side) goes down first. Sear the fish on this side for 5 minutes, turn the fillets over, and reduce the heat to medium. Spoon the pan juices over the fish several times while it cooks on this side for 5 minutes without moving it. Since monkfish is thick, you should sear all four sides. Carefully balance the fish on one side and, cook it for 2 minutes and then cook the other side, completely searing the fish, and basting often with the pan juices.

Chefology

MONKFISH A sneaky little devil, the monkfish lies partially buried on the sea floor twitching to resemble a worm to attract smaller fish into its large, hideous mouth. Also known as anglerfish, frogfish, sea devil, and goosefish, it is low in fat, firm-textured, and has a mild, sweet flavor that has led to the term “poor man's lobster.” Once a fish thrown back for his hideous appearance, the monk fish is not only affordable but it comes skinned and ready to go! Super CLK friendly.

5
Using your chef's knife, cut each portion into ¼-inch slices at an angle. The outside will be crisp and brown, while the inside is soft and sweet. Fan out the slices over the side dishes you have chosen for the plate, perhaps bright steamed vegetables (p. 168) and Sweet Potato Gnocchi (p. 182). Serve immediately. This moist and delicious fish requires no sauce.

Barbequeless
Barbequed Salmon

Serves 4

If you have a patio and grill—even a small hibachi grill works great—use it.

If not, don't despair. I simply use my large sauté pan on the stove. No need for those special grill pans, all they do is add fake grill marks.

¼ cup rice wine vinegar

¼ cup soy sauce

¼ cup sake

1 tablespoon minced garlic

2 teaspoons peeled and minced fresh ginger

1 tablespoon honey

¼ cup sesame oil

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons olive oil

¼ cup hoisin sauce

3 tablespoons Sambal chili paste

Sea salt, to taste

Black pepper, to taste

4 8-ounce portions salmon fillets, boneless and skinless

1
In a large bowl, whisk together the rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, sake, garlic, ginger, and honey. Slowly drizzle in the sesame oil and then 1 cup of olive oil. Whisk in the hoisin sauce and chili paste. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

2
Place the salmon into a gallon-size disposable bag and coat the fish with just enough sauce to cover. Reserve the rest of the sauce. Refrigerate the salmon to marinate 15 minutes.

3
Put your 12-inch sauté pan over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, add 2 teaspoons of olive oil and swirl it to coat the pan.

4
Season each fillet lightly with salt and pepper. Carefully add the fish to the pan, making sure the pieces don't touch each other and that the most attractive side (the smoothest-looking side with no gray or fat showing) goes down first. Sear the fish on this side for 7 minutes, turn the fillets over, reduce heat to medium, and cook this side for 7 minutes for medium-rare salmon.

5
Serve immediately sitting atop a tight, round pile of Sautéed Vegetables (p. 170) with extra barbeque sauce drizzled over the fish.

Ya Mon Jerk Chicken

Serves 12

Invite a hungry crew because this recipe makes a lot and is a real crowd-pleaser.

2 tablespoons minced fresh thyme

1 tablespoon ground allspice

1 tablespoon black pepper

2 teaspoons sea salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon a pinch ground nutmeg

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon dry mustard

2 tablespoons orange zest

2 tablespoons lime zest

1 scotch bonnet chili, seeded and minced

2 tablespoons dark brown sugar

3 tablespoons minced garlic

2 cups minced scallions

¼ cup beer (can substitute chicken stock)

¼ cup apple cider vinegar

½ cup extra virgin olive oil

3 pounds chicken thighs, bone in and skin on

3 pounds chicken breasts, bone in and skin on

White Rice (p. 176)

1
In a large bowl, combine all of the dry spices with the zests, chili, sugar, minced garlic, green onion, beer, and vinegar. While whisking the mixture, slowly drizzle in the olive oil to complete the marinade.

2
Place the chicken in the marinade. Thoroughly wash your hands, and massage the marinade into the chicken. Cover the bowl tightly and refrigerate it overnight.

3
The next day, preheat the oven to 350°. Remove the chicken pieces from the marinade, and layer them in your roasting pan. Reserve the marinade. Cover the pan with a lid or foil and place it in the oven to roast 30 minutes. Then remove the cover and allow it to brown for another 30 minutes.

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