Got You Back (39 page)

52

Katie didn't look her best, Stephanie thought, when the door opened. She looked older, more wary, less like something from a Disney cartoon. She did a definite double-take when she saw James, and who could blame her? Even Stephanie didn't understand what they were doing there together.

‘Katie, we've come to ask you to stop. I realize this must seem a bit strange. Trust me, it's not just you who thinks that. But it's gone far enough now. Involving James's parents is a step too far.’

Katie looked nervously in James's direction. ‘What are you talking about?’ she asked unconvincingly.

‘I've told him all about it. I've been trying to ring you all day. If you'd answered I would have explained — after I'd got you to promise to leave Pauline and John alone, that is.’

‘You'd better come in,’ Katie said, and backed into her front room just as Stanley, realizing exactly who was standing on the doorstep, came hurtling out and threw himself at James.

‘Right,’ Stephanie heard herself say. ‘Of course, the dog.’

It was hard for her to imagine James living in the tiny feminine cottage. It was homely enough, quaint, even, but James's taste had always been for monochrome, stark,
masculine lines and everything looking like it had come straight out of the pages of a magazine, something which had been hard to achieve once they had had Finn.

‘Oh, you've painted,’ James said, as they went in, speaking for the first time since they had got there.

Katie said nothing. Stephanie had noticed that she was avoiding even looking at James, if she could help it. Of course, she hadn't been in contact with him since it had all blown up. Stephanie, on the other hand, had got used to having to deal with him on a daily basis.

Katie banged around in the kitchen, making them coffee, which she hadn't even asked them if they wanted. James was sitting, head down, clearly wishing he wasn't there.

Stephanie decided to take matters into her own hands and followed Katie through to the tiny back room, pulling the door behind her to give them a semblance of privacy, although clearly James would be able to hear every word they were saying. Tough, she thought. I haven't come all this way just to worry about hurting his feelings.

‘I'm really sorry to ambush you like this, Katie,’ she said. ‘It's just that it's all got out of hand. OK, so we wanted to pay him back —’

‘You wanted to,’ Katie said, and Stephanie was acutely aware that James would be all ears on the other side of the door.

‘Yes, I wanted to. I know it was my idea and you would never have thought about revenge, not ever. It wasn't in your nature, I could see that. But the truth is that I've moved on, and I think you need to, maybe. And so does
James, for Finn's sake if no one else's. It's not good for a little boy to watch his father's life fall apart.’

Katie put down the mug she was holding. ‘You were right. You said it would make me feel better and it did. And that's a good thing, isn't it?’

‘Of course it is. But can you honestly say it's
still
making you feel better? Isn't it healthier to let things go?’ she added, trying to think of a way to put it that would connect with Katie's New Age sensibilities. ‘You need to… purify or whatever. You've got the new business to think about. That's something good to have come out of all of this, isn't it?’

‘I'm not really interested in the business,’ Katie said petulantly. ‘I liked things the way they were, just me and my clients, not worrying about staff and pension schemes and who's going to run reception. I just wanted him to have to sell it to me for a knock-down price. I wanted him to have to pay me back somehow, that's all.’

‘Then do it up and sell it for a profit. You can be an aromatherapist who's a property magnate on the side.’

Katie shrugged.

‘It's over anyway, Katie. Now that James knows everything it's over anyway. Just please don't hurt his parents. You're nicer than that. That was one of the first things that struck me about you, how nice you were. That's why I believed you as soon as you told me you were innocent in all this. That was why I liked you, which was, frankly, weird, if you think about it.’

‘I never had any intention of telling them anything. I haven't changed that much.’

‘So why call them?’

‘To frighten him, I suppose.’

‘Well, you achieved that. Now what?’

‘What do you mean?’ Katie said defensively.

‘Is that it or are you planning anything else?’

Katie looked at her evenly. ‘I didn't start this, Stephanie.’

‘I know,’ Stephanie said. ‘I know it was all me. But now I'm asking you to stop. Please. Katie, you're better than this.’

‘Being nice didn't get me far, did it?’

‘Being nice made me like you despite everything that had happened,’ Stephanie said. ‘Being nice made me believe you when you said you'd been hurt as much as I had. It's what made you
you
.’

Katie sighed. ‘OK, I'll stop. For your sake, though, not James's. You and Finn.’

Stephanie felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She put her arms round Katie and hugged her. ‘So, is that it now, then? We can all just try to get on with our lives?’

‘I suppose,’ Katie said, and hugged Stephanie back, which Stephanie took as a sign that she was telling the truth.

‘We'll get out of your way,’ she said, and moved to go back through to the living room. The sooner she was out of there, the sooner she could get home and just forget about this whole chapter of her life.

James, however, seemed to have other ideas. He was hovering just behind the door, looking purposeful, and as soon as she came through it, followed by Katie, he said, ‘I want to say something.’

Oh, God, Stephanie thought. ‘Everything's fine, James,’ she said. ‘Let's just go.’

‘No,’ he said. ‘Not until I've said what I have to say.’

He hadn't planned to make a speech. He hadn't been intending to say anything at all, if he could help it, knowing that Katie was far more likely to listen to Stephanie than to him. He was just there for moral support, ballast in case Steph needed propping up. Over the past few months he had managed to put Katie completely out of his mind. It was as if she barely existed. She was a blip. A fairly large blip admittedly. He had wanted to forget about her for Stephanie's sake. Now, faced with the reality of her in front of him, he knew that he owed it to her to explain. He had fallen for her naïvety and her sweetness and her trusting nature and then he had destroyed those very things that he had thought he loved. As much as what he had done had been unkind to Stephanie, so it had been equally unkind to Katie, and if he was trying to be a better person, he had to acknowledge that and take full responsibility for what he had done to both women.

‘Katie,’ he began, ‘I want to apologize, really sincerely and honestly apologize, for the way I treated you. It was unforgivable. I was weak and stupid and dishonest and, basically, an idiot. And a bastard. And whatever else you want to call me…’

Katie, in fact, was just looking at him impassively, as if to say, ‘I know this already.’

Stephanie was just looking like she wanted to get out of there.

‘The thing is,’ he continued, determined to say his
piece, ‘I made a terrible mistake. You see, the truth is that I never stopped loving Stephanie. I just couldn't see it.’ He glanced at her to see if she had reacted to his declaration, but Stephanie was now studying the floor.

‘I suppose it was a mid-life crisis, I don't know. I guess you'd be able to analyse my behaviour better than I can — you're good at that,’ he said, looking back at Katie, who was now looking him straight in the eye as if challenging him to lie to her any more. ‘And I used you to make me feel I was still young or attractive or something. It's pitiful, I know. And then, before I knew what was happening, I'd started to care for you. To love you, actually. I really thought I did — sorry, Steph…’ Now he looked at Stephanie again. She was still admiring the carpet.

‘Anyway, I wanted you to know that. I never meant to hurt you, either of you. I was a fool who thought he could have his cake and eat it, and then I realized that for me having what I really wanted meant having my marriage and my wife and my son. But by then it was too late. So, I want you both to know that I regret it all and I never meant to mess you around, Katie, but eventually I realized it was Stephanie who I had loved all along. And I still do. And I'd do anything if she'd take me back.’

No one said anything for a moment and James's statement stayed hanging there in the air. And then Katie turned to Stephanie and said, ‘You're not taking him back, are you?’

When James had finished his speech, Katie realized she felt nothing for him. No attraction, no anger, no resentment. It had all gone and she was left with a big, empty
sense of nothingness. If she was being honest, she would have admitted it felt good.

‘You're not taking him back, are you?’

‘No!’ Stephanie said indignantly, looking up for the first time in ages. ‘Of course not.’ And then she had cast James a sideways look and added, ‘In actual fact, I'm about to move in with someone else. Well, that is, he's moving in with me. Sorry,’ she said, looking over at James again. ‘I meant to tell you.’

James looked as if he had been hit by a large truck. ‘Michael?’ he said, and Stephanie nodded.

‘Sorry,’ she said again, and Katie started to wonder if she was hearing things.

‘Why are you apologizing to him? And who's Michael?’ She felt irritated with Stephanie. Not just because of the U-turn she seemed to have performed where James was concerned or the fact that she had chosen to reveal their whole plan to him without checking that that was an OK thing to do but because, she now realized, Stephanie had managed to move on to the extent that another man liked her enough to ask her to live with him. It was jealousy, pure and simple. Stephanie's life had worked out OK while Katie had merely humiliated herself by chasing after someone who wasn't interested. The old Katie — the real Katie — would have been delighted for her, would have taken pleasure simply from the fact that there were still happy endings to be had out there, whoever they were for. She had to try and get that other Katie back from wherever she had gone. That other Katie had been happy.

‘Wow,’ she forced herself to say when Stephanie told
her, and she thought she even sounded as if she meant it. ‘I'm really pleased for you. That's great.’

James made a sort of grunting noise, kind of like an animal in pain and Katie saw that this news had devastated him. Had he really thought he'd had a chance of winning Stephanie back? After all that had happened? She realized she actually felt sorry for him. Now that she had let go of all the negative feelings, something of her old kind self was returning and she was able to feel bad for him in a way she had never imagined she could. Unrequited love was a terrible thing to suffer from, especially when you'd had it once and lost it. She managed a half-smile of sympathy for him and he responded with a look that contained so much relief, so much gratitude, that she instantly felt good about herself.

Stephanie was edging towards the door. ‘I really need to get going,’ she said. ‘I've got to be back before Finn gets home.’

‘Come back in the car with me,’ James said. ‘Or I can drive you to the station if you'd rather,’ he added nervously.

Once Stephanie had agreed that it made no sense for her to get the train when he had his car right outside the front door, he went off to the bathroom, leaving her and Katie alone.

‘What a mess, eh?’

Katie, buoyed up by the satisfaction that came from knowing she was being a good person, smiled. ‘He's changed, I think. He sounds like he's learned his lesson.’

‘Hey,’ Stephanie said, smiling back at her warmly, ‘Katie's back.’

53

Neither Stephanie nor James mentioned his outburst in the car on the way back. Stephanie decided that the only thing she could do if she was to survive the journey was to turn up the radio and pretend to be asleep. She didn't want to have to tell him there was no chance.

They had stopped off briefly at Sally O'Connell's house, and James had made a genuine and grovelling apology, which Sally had accepted with good grace.

‘I could have sued you for wrongful dismissal apparently,’ Sally had said, ‘but I never would have done something like that.’

‘That's because you're a nicer person than I am,’ James had said. ‘Or, at least, than I was. I'm trying.’

By three it was obvious that they weren't going to make it back by the time Cassie brought Finn home after school, so Stephanie called and asked her to stay on until they arrived, which luckily she agreed to do because Stephanie wasn't quite sure what she would have done otherwise. She really hadn't thought this through when she'd jumped on the train this morning.

By the time they got to the house she was exhausted, but James wanted to come in and say hello to Finn and she knew she had no right not to let him. Once Finn's tea was ready it seemed churlish not to offer James something, and it was only when they were all sitting round
the big kitchen table that she remembered what he had said to her that morning. ‘Did you say you had a new job?’ she asked. The morning seemed like a year ago.

‘I did!’ He looked delighted with himself, his face lit up with enthusiasm in a way she hadn't seen for months, possibly years. ‘It's only three days a week and it doesn't exactly pay brilliantly, but it's at the Cardew Rescue Centre in Kilburn. It's a charity and they see local people who can't afford vet's fees as well as taking in strays. No more dogs in handbags or cats that've had their claws removed in case they snag the silk cushions. Real stuff, you know.’

‘ That's great,’ she said. ‘I'm really pleased for you.’

‘Can I get a dog?’ Finn said, wide-eyed. ‘One that someone brings in that no one else wants. An old one or one with three legs or something.’

James laughed. ‘Maybe. Ask your mum.’

‘Mu —’

‘No,’ Stephanie said, before he could finish. ‘At least, not for a while.’

‘Tell you what,’ James said, ‘if one comes in with
two
legs I promise you can have it.’