Gorgeous Consort (23 page)

Troy

My life was awesome.

I had the girl of my dreams, the nightmares were gone, and I felt whole for the first time in years. Sex with Harper was only getting better, and now I had a woman who was also my best friend. My parents were getting along with Kyle and they were really making an effort to accept him and Mark.

I had absolutely no complaints.

Harper wasn’t thrilled about what I did for a living, but what woman would be thrilled about that. I couldn’t quit even if I wanted to. I had five other guys to think about, and if I dropped from the ranks, how would they fill in the hole. I loved Harper and would do anything to make her happy but I couldn’t do that. Thankfully, she let it go.

I spent the next few weeks spending every spare moment with my girlfriend. I took her out to dinner, the movies, and my bed—repeatedly. Being close to another person was extremely enjoyable, and I forgot how good that felt. I never wondered if she was lying to me or if she was doing something behind my back. I trusted her, and I honestly didn’t think I could trust anyone again.

But Harper changed my life.

***

When harper was at work during the day, I lay around the house and watched TV. Since I worked nights, my only time to relax was when the sun was out. I made breakfast then I watched TV until my phone rang. I knew it was Harper, asking me to go to lunch.

When I looked at the phone to answer it, I stilled.

It was Alexia.

I sat up quickly and almost fell over.

Why was she calling me?

What did she want?

Should I answer it?

Why was I panicking?

I shouldn’t answer it. What could she possibly have to say to me? But I answered it anyway. “Hello?” My voice was steady and slightly angry, the usual tone I made when I spoke to her.

“Troy?” Her deep voice echoed over the phone.

“Present,” I said like a smart-ass.

She paused for a moment. “How are you?”

“Why the fuck do you care?” I snarled.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” she said. “And you must care about how I’m doing otherwise you wouldn’t have answered the phone.”

I ground my teeth because I knew she was right. “How can I help you?” Condescension was in my voice.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“I’m confused…what are we doing now?” I would never stop being an asshole to her. It was physically impossible.

“In person,” she said.

“About what?” I barked. “There’s nothing to say.”

“I beg to differ,” she said calmly. “Please just meet me. Dinner tomorrow night.”

“Why do we have to have dinner?” I asked.

“Fine, coffee. Whatever you want. I really think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

I rubbed my temple because I was irritated I was still on the phone with her. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“We aren’t friends, Alexia. We never will be.”

“The conversation has nothing to do with friendship.”

Her words echoed in my mind long after she said them. I hated this woman for what she did to me, loathed her, but yet, I was curious as to what she had to say. Perhaps it would give me closure. Perhaps it would help me understand why she hurt me so much to begin with. I could ask her when our relationship fell apart and what led her to find someone else. They were questions that plagued my mind for years and now I could finally reach the truth. “When and where?”

***

The impending conversation with Alexia plagued my mind all day. Stress weighed on my heart, and I felt nervous with every passing hour. What would I say and what would she say? What should I wear? How should I act?

And then there was Harper.

I told her everything. Should I tell her about this? I feared if I did she would get the wrong idea. She might assume I was meeting Alexia because I wasn’t really over her. I was over her, and Harper was the woman in my heart. Would she understand my need for closure? Or would she push me away? I didn’t know what to do.

Maybe I should tell her about the conversation after it happened? But would that piss her off even more? I didn’t know what to do. I considered blowing off Alexia altogether. If it affected my relationship with Harper it wasn’t worth it.

I decided it was best if I didn’t tell her at all. I wasn’t doing anything wrong and I loved only Harper but I had questions that needed to be answered. That was understandable, right?

But then the guilt would plague me. How would I feel if she saw her ex and she didn’t tell me about it? I think that would hurt more. If I explained why I was meeting Alexia, Harper would understand. There was no romantic intention at all.

So I decided to tell her.

Harper understood me. She would know why I wanted the conversation to happen. She was my best friend. There was no reason to be jealous.

When Harper came over that night, I wasn’t myself. I was dreading the conversation because I feared it wouldn’t go over well. My body was tense and I felt skittish.

Harper picked up on it. “Are you okay?” She eyed me from her side of the couch.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just a little tired.”

“Well, you don’t seem tired. You seem terrified.”

Dammit, why did she have to know me so well?
“Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay…” Now she seemed terrified and tense.

“It’s nothing bad,” I said quickly.

“Well, it’s got you all worked up…”

“I’m more worried about your reaction, that’s all.”

“Can you just tell me?” she demanded.

“Okay…”
Here it goes.
“Alexia called me earlier today and she wanted to meet tomorrow night to talk.”

Her eyes widened. “That bitch has a lot of nerve. You told her to go fuck herself, right?”

So, she was going to be pissed off.
“I did…in the beginning. But she said she wanted to talk and wouldn’t say what it was about.”

Her eyes lit up in flames, and if she had a gun, she would shoot me. “What difference does that make?” Her hands went to her hips and she gave me a look of menace. She was tiny, but she terrified me sometimes.

“I want to talk about our relationship and where it went wrong. I want to know so I can have some closure.”

She gripped her skull. “You’re unbelievable.”

“What?”
What did I say?

“You shouldn’t care about why your relationship ended. She cheated on you. The end.”

“But I—”

“If you’re over her, what does it matter?”

“It matters because I spent three years of my life with her. You don’t think I haven’t wondered what went wrong every single day since she dumped me? Don’t you think I want to know?”

“Oh my god…you aren’t over her.”

“I am over her, Harper. I love you.”

She covered her face for a moment like she couldn’t bare it if I looked at her. “The only reason you’re going is because you know she wants to get back together. What other reason could it be?”

“I don’t care if she wants to get back together,” I argued. “I want answers.”

“Fuck you, Troy. I can’t believe I trusted you.”

This was going south
. “Harper, calm down. I don’t want her anymore. I only want you. Listen to the words coming out of my mouth.”

“Your actions are more important,” she hissed. “You shouldn’t want to see her.”

“It’s not that I
want
to see her,” I argued. “You’re totally blowing this out of proportion.”

“Am not!”

“Harper, if I was really a sleazebag that wanted to get back together with my ex I wouldn’t have even told you about it. I told you why I wanted to see her. There is no other reason.”

“You are in denial.”

I tried to remain calm and not scream. Harper had a right to be a little uncomfortable. “Harper, I told you I loved you. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Of course it does but—”

“You have no reason to be scared.”

“This is Alexia were talking about. What if she apologizes for everything and asks for another chance?” she demanded. “This is a woman you were going to marry.”

“Things change,” I said simply. “I’ve fallen in love with someone new—someone better.”

Her eyes softened for a moment and the anger disappeared.

“Harper, just because she and I are over doesn’t erase what we had. Our relationship meant something to me, and I want to know what happened between us. Where did it go wrong? That relationship affects my new relationship with you. If I did something wrong, I want to know what it was. Why? Not because I still love her. It’s because I don’t want to make the same mistakes with you. Can you understand that?”

She crossed her arms over her chest, closing off from me. “You didn’t do anything, Troy. She’s just a bitch. You need to accept that and move on. You keep hoping that something is going to change, that she’s going to wake up and realize what she lost. Now that you think that’s a possibility, you want to see it through. If you want to get back together with her, then fine. But don’t lie about it.”

“Harper, I don’t. Listen to me, goddammit!”

She turned red in the face. “You want to meet her so bad, fine. Go ahead.”

“It doesn’t mean anything, Harper. It hurts that you don’t trust me.”

“Well, you aren’t giving me a reason to,” she hissed.

Now I was getting mad. “I understand you’re a little uncomfortable about the situation but you need to calm down.”

“Calm down?” she asked incredulously. “You know what? Fuck you, Troy.”

“Harper!”

She marched toward the door. “Have fun with the girl who fucked you over while the only woman who’s ever actually loved you walks away.”

I growled then grabbed her before she could storm off. “Harper, you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“Then don’t go. You want me to calm down?” She got in my face. “Then don’t go.”

“You think I’m going to cheat on you or something? I won’t touch her.”

“You can cheat on someone without touching,” she said. “A look is enough.”

“Maybe you should take a break and cool off. Then you’ll realize you’re overreacting.”

That didn’t help the situation. “Yeah, I’ll cool down,” she said with a voice full of disdain. “I’ll take a long break, an indefinite one, actually.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“Then don’t see her,” she countered.

“I’m just looking for closure,” I argued. “Nothing more.”

“Then get your closure.” She walked out and slammed my door so hard I’m sure my neighbors heard.

***

I understood why she was mad. It was enough to make anyone uneasy. But she blew it way out of proportion and made it into a bigger deal. If she really thought I was going to cheat on her so easily then she never trusted me. I didn’t want to be Alexia’s friend and I didn’t want her in my life again. Harper was freaking out over nothing

And her reaction pissed me off.

The fact she thought I would even consider betraying her hurt—bad. For a person who’d been cheated on, I definitely didn’t want to do that to another person, especially to someone I loved. I didn’t even want to get back together with Alexia. Perhaps Harper didn’t understand my need to see Alexia because she’d never been in a serious relationship. No matter how it ended, three years was a long time to be with one person. She shaped who I was and affected my personal relationships. If I could just get some closure, perhaps I would never think of her again.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Was I?

***

I tried calling Harper a few times but she didn’t answer. I went by her apartment but she never answered. When I went to Aspen’s place, she said she wasn’t there and hadn’t seen her. I had no idea where she would go, but she was clearly determined to avoid me.

I couldn’t sleep that night. All I could think about was Harper. This was just a fight and it would pass. I loved her and she loved me. After my conversation with Alexia, I would tell Harper nothing happened, just like I promised. Then she would realize she was making a big deal out of nothing. The anger, resentment, and annoyance kept me up all night and I barely closed my eyes for longer than ten minutes. That’s how mad I was.