Gordianus The Finder Omnibus (Books 1-4) (87 page)

‘As do all thinking men,’ agreed Lucius. We shared a moment of silent contemplation on the crisis of the Roman state, then he eagerly launched into his tale again.

‘Anyway, when I say that the pirates have grown so bold as to kidnap Roman citizens, I don’t simply mean some merchant they happened to pluck from a trading vessel. I mean citizens of distinction, noble Romans whom even ignorant pirates should know better than to molest. I mean young Julius Caesar himself.’

‘When was this?’

‘Just as winter was setting in. Caesar had spent the summer on the island of Rhodes, studying rhetoric under Apollonius Molo. He was due to serve as an attaché to the governor of Cilicia, but he lingered on Rhodes as long as he could, and set out at the very close of the sailing season. Just off the island of Pharmacusa his ship was given chase and captured by pirates. Caesar and his whole entourage were taken prisoner!’

Lucius raised an eyebrow, which prompted a curious pattern of wrinkles across his fleshy brow. ‘Now keep in mind that Caesar is only twenty-two, which may explain how he could be so recklessly bold. Remember also that his good looks, wealth and connections have pretty much always got him whatever he wants. Imagine, he finds himself in the clutches of Cilician pirates, the most bloodthirsty people on earth. Does he cringe beneath their threats? Bow his head? Make himself humble and meek? Far from it. Exactly the opposite! He taunted his captors from the very beginning. They told him they were planning to demand a ransom of half a million sesterces. Caesar laughed in their faces! For a captive such as himself, he told them, they were fools not to demand at least a million – which they did!’

‘Interesting,’ I said. ‘By placing a greater value on his life, he forced the pirates to do likewise. I suppose even bloodthirsty killers tend to take better care of a million-sesterce hostage than one worth only half as much.’

‘So you think the gambit shows Caesar’s cleverness? His enemies ascribe it to simple vanity. But I give him fall credit for what he did next, which was to arrange for the release of almost everyone else in his party. His numerous secretaries and assistants were let go because Caesar insisted that the ransom of a million sesterces would have to be raised from various sources in various places, requiring the labour of his whole entourage. The only ones he kept with him were two slaves – that being the absolute minimum to see to a nobleman’s comfort – and his personal physician, whom Caesar can hardly do without because of his bouts of falling sickness.

‘Well, they say Caesar spent nearly forty days in the pirates’ clutches, and treated his captivity as if it were a vacation. If he had a mind to take a nap and the pirates were making too much noise, he would send one of his slaves to tell them to shut up! When the pirates engaged in exercises and games, Caesar joined them, and as often as not bested them, treating them as if they were not his captors but his guards. To fill his idle time he wrote speeches and composed verses, such as he had learned to do under Apollonius Molo, and when he finished a work he would make the pirates sit quietly and listen to him. If they interrupted him or made critical remarks, he called them barbarians and illiterates to their faces. He made jokes about having them whipped, as if they were unruly children, and even joked about having them put to death on the cross for insulting the dignity of a Roman patrician.’

‘The pirates put up with such insolence?’

‘They seemed to adore it! Caesar exercised a kind of fascination over them, by sheer power of his will. The more he abused and insulted them, the more they were charmed.

‘At last, the ransom arrived, and Caesar was released. Right away he headed for Miletus, took charge of some ships, and went straight back to the island where the pirates were stationed. He took them by surprise, captured most of them, and not only reclaimed the ransom money but took the pirates’ hoard as well, claiming it as the spoils of battle. When the local governor hesitated over deciding the pirates’ fate, trying to think of some legal loophole whereby he could claim the booty for his treasury, Caesar took it upon himself to tend to the pirates’ punishment. Many times while he was their captive he boasted that he would see them crucified, and they had laughed, thinking the threat was mere boyish bravado – but in the end it was Caesar who laughed, when he saw them nailed naked upon crosses. “Let men learn to take me at my word,” he said.’

I shivered, despite the heat of the bath. ‘You heard this in the Forum, Lucius?’

‘Yes, it’s on everyone’s lips. Caesar is on his way back to Rome, and the story of his exploits precedes him.’

‘Just the sort of moral tale that Romans love to hear!’ I grunted. ‘No doubt the ambitious young patrician plans a career in politics. This is the very thing to build up his reputation with the voters.’

‘Well, Caesar needs something to recover his dignity, after having given it up to King Nicomedes,’ said Lucius with a leer.

‘Yes, in the eyes of the mob, nothing enhances a Roman’s dignity like having another man nailed to a cross,’ I said glumly.

‘And nothing more diminishes his dignity than being nailed himself, even if by a king,’ observed Lucius.

‘This water grows too hot; it makes me irritable. I think I could use the services of your masseur now, Lucius Claudius.’

The tale of Caesar and the pirates proved to be immensely popular. Over the next few months, as spring warmed to summer, I heard it repeated by many tongues in many variations, in taverns and on street corners, by philosophers in the Forum and by acrobats outside the Circus Maximus. It was a clear example of how terribly out of hand the problem of piracy had got, men said, nodding gravely, but what really impressed them was the idea of a brash young patrician charming a crew of bloodthirsty pirates with his haughtiness and in the end inflicting upon them the fall measure of Roman justice.

It was on a sweltering midsummer day in the month of Sextilis that I was called to the home of a patrician named Quintus Fabius.

The house was situated on the Aventine Hill. The structure looked at once ancient and immaculately kept – a sign that its owners had prospered there for many generations. The foyer was lined with scores of wax effigies of the household ancestors; the Fabii go all the way back to the founding of the Republic.

I was shown to a room off the central courtyard, where my hosts awaited me. Quintus Fabius was a man of middle age with a stern jaw and greying temples. His wife, Valeria, was a strikingly beautiful woman with hazel hair and blue eyes. They sat in backless chairs, each attended by a slave with a fan. A chair was brought in for me, along with a slave to fan me.

Usually, I find that the higher a client ranks on the social scale, the longer he takes to explain his business. Quintus Fabius lost no time, however, in producing a document. ‘What do you make of it?’ he said, as yet another slave conveyed the scrap of papyrus to my hands.

‘You
can
read, can’t you?’ asked Valeria, her tone more anxious than insulting.

‘Oh, yes – if I go slowly,’ I said, thinking to buy more time to study the letter (for a letter it was) and to figure out what the couple wanted from me. The papyrus was water-stained and torn at the edges and had been folded several times, rather than rolled. The handwriting was childish but strong, with gratuitous flourishes on some of the letters.

To Pater and to Mater dearest,

By now my friends must have told you of my abduction. It was foolish of me to go off swimming by myself – forgive me! I know that you must be stricken with fear and grief, but do not fret overmuch; I have lost only a little weight and my captors are not too cruel.

I write to convey their demands. They say you must give them 100,000 sesterces. This is to be delivered to a man in Ostia on the morning of the Ides of Sextilis, at a tavern called the Flying Fish. Have your agent wear a red tunic.

From their accents and their brutish manner I suspect these pirates are Cilicians. It may be that some of them can read (though I doubt it), so I cannot be completely frank, but know that I am in no greater discomfort than might be expected.

Soon we shall be reunited! That is the fervent prayer of your devoted son,

SPURIUS

While I pondered the note, from the corner of my eye I saw that Quintus Fabius was drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair. His wife anxiously fidgeted and tapped her long fingernails against her lips.

‘I suppose,’ I finally said, ‘that you would like me to go to ransom the boy.’

‘Oh, yes!’ said Valeria, leaning forward and fixing me with a fretful gaze.

‘He’s not a boy,’ said Quintus Fabius, his voice surprisingly harsh. ‘He’s seventeen. He put on his manly toga over a year ago.’

‘But you will accept the job?’ said Valeria.

I pretended to study the letter. ‘Why not send someone from your own household? A trusted secretary, perhaps?’

Quintus Fabius scrutinized me. ‘I’m told that you’re rather clever. You find things out.’

‘It hardly requires someone clever to deliver a ransom.’

‘Who knows what unexpected contingencies may arise? I’m told that I can trust your judgment . . . and your discretion.’

‘Poor Spurius!’ said Valeria, her voice breaking. ‘You’ve read his letter. You must see how badly he’s being treated.’

‘He makes light of his tribulations,’ I said.

‘He would! If you knew my son, how cheerful he is by nature, you’d realize just how desperate his situation must be for him even to mention his suffering. If he says he’s lost a little weight, he must be half starved. What can such men be feeding him – fish heads and mouldy bread? If he says these monsters are “not too cruel”, imagine how cruel they must be! When I think of his ordeal – oh, I can hardly bear it!’ She stifled a sob.

‘Where was he kidnapped, and when?’

‘It happened last month,’ said Quintus Fabius.

‘Twenty-two days ago,’ said Valeria with a sniffle. ‘Twenty-two endless days and nights!’

‘He was down at Baiae with some of his friends,’ explained Quintus Fabius. ‘We have a summer villa above the beach, and a town house across the bay at Neapolis. Spurius and his friends took a little skiff and went sailing among the fishing boats. The day was hot. Spurius decided to take a swim. His friends stayed on the boat.’

‘Spurius is a strong swimmer,’ said Valeria, her pride steadying the tremor in her voice.

Quintus Fabius shrugged. ‘My son is better at swimming than at most things. While his friends watched, he made a circuit, swimming from one fishing boat to another. His friends saw him talking and laughing with the fishermen.’

‘Spurius is very outgoing,’ his mother explained.

‘He swam farther and farther away,’ Quintus Fabius continued, ‘until his friends lost sight of him for a while and began to worry. Then one of them saw Spurius on board what they had all thought to be a fishing vessel, though it was larger than the rest. It took them a moment to realize that the vessel had set sail and was departing. The boys tried to follow in the skiff, but none of them has any real skill at sailing. Before they knew it, the boat had disappeared, and Spurius with it. Eventually the boys returned to the villa at Baiae. They all thought that Spurius would turn up sooner or later, but he never did. Days passed without a word.’

‘Imagine our worry!’ said Valeria. ‘We sent frantic messages to our foreman at the villa. He made inquiries of fishermen all around the bay, trying to find anyone who could explain what had happened and identify the men who had sailed off with Spurius, but his investigations led nowhere.’

Quintus Fabius sneered. ‘The fishermen around Neapolis – well, if you’ve ever been down there you know the sort. Descendants of old Greek colonists who’ve never given up their Greek ways. Some of them don’t even speak Latin! As for their personal habits and vices, the less said the better. Such people can hardly be expected to cooperate with finding a young Roman patrician abducted by pirates.’

‘On the contrary,’ I said, ‘I should think that fishermen would be the natural enemies of pirates, whatever their personal prejudices against the patrician class.’

‘However that may be, my man down in Baiae was unable to discover anything,’ said Quintus Fabius. ‘We had no definite knowledge of what had become of Spurius until we received his letter a few days ago.’

I looked at the letter again. ‘Your son calls the pirates Cilicians. That seems rather far-fetched to me.’

‘Why?’ said Valeria. ‘Everyone says they’re the most bloodthirsty people on earth. One hears about them making raids everywhere along the coasts, from Asia all the way to Africa and Spain.’

‘True, but here, on the coast of Italy? And in the waters around Baiae?’

‘It’s shocking news, I’ll agree,’ said Quintus Fabius. ‘But what can you expect with the problem of piracy getting worse and worse while the Senate does nothing?’

I pursed my lips. ‘And doesn’t it seem odd to you that these pirates want the ransom brought to Ostia, just down the Tiber from Rome? That’s awfully close.’

‘Who cares about such details?’ said Valeria, her voice breaking. ‘Who cares if we have to go all the way to the Pillars of Hercules, or just a few steps to the Forum? We must go wherever they wish, to get Spurius safely home.’