Authors: LaTonya Mason
“No, no,” she cried. Her voice was fading with each refusal to eject the poison from her body. “To live is Christ,” she said
faintly. “But to die is…” Then there was silence.
AS ADAMANT AS IESHA WAS
about living a different lifestyle than before, she was glad to not have a job today. “Thank You, Jesus,” she sighed. After
staying with Charity until after midnight, she was tired. Nevertheless, she refused to complain, because she knew that in
the past when the tables were turned, her sister had been right there with her. When she and Mama Lorraine left her last night,
Charity had finally fallen asleep after hours of crying and questioning her relationship with God. Iesha was glad that Xavier
spent the night at Mama Lorraine’s, he didn’t need to see Charity like that.
Iesha turned on her bedside lamp, hoping that would wake her up.
The kids have school in less than an hour.
“Sha-Lai! Quan!” she yelled. “Wake up. It’s time to get up.”
She knew she needed to get up, too, or else she’d find the kids’ still asleep. She dragged herself out of bed and offered
a quick prayer on her way to the kids’ rooms. “Thank You, Jesus, for waking me up this morning, clothing me in my right mind.
Thank You, Lord, for my health and strength, and sparing me from excessive sorrow. In Jesus’ name—”
She felt convicted for offering a prayer mindlessly and without reverence. She asked for forgiveness, retrieved her Bible,
and knelt in the hallway to pray again. She searched her heart for words to say, and each time her mind wandered she repented
and sought all the more to hear from God. Before she knew it, she was praying for Charity. She prayed for everything she could
think of—her strength, her salvation, God’s protection and provision. She even confessed Psalm 91 over her sister, just like
Charity had taught her to do. She refused to get up until she felt God release her. When she went to wake the children, she
found them already dressed. Raquan was brushing his hair and Sha-Lai was brushing her teeth.
“Good morning,” she greeted.
The kids sang their good morning in unison.
“I oughtta pray every morning if it makes y’all get up and get ready by yourselves. Good job. I’mma go throw something on
and we’ll be ready to go. We’ll get breakfast from Burger King.”
She heard Raquan say, “Yes!” before she turned to leave. She went to her room and threw on an old sweatsuit and put her microbraids
in a ponytail.
Iesha felt good this morning and she wanted to keep it this way.
Charity had said that if Iesha wanted to be positive, she needed to put positive things into her spirit. Charity also told
Iesha that her eyes, ear, and mouth were the gates to her heart and that she needed to guard what she watched, listened to,
and read. She thought Charity was crazy for telling her to limit how much she watched the news and Lifetime TV, read the newspapers,
and listened to secular music. But she at least agreed that she wouldn’t knock it until she tried it.
She tuned her car radio to the AM setting and flipped through the stations.
“Turn it back, Momma,” Raquan said when he heard some dance music.
“I’m looking for gospel music, Quan.”
“What’s gospel music?”
“Music about God.” She turned it back to hear the lyrics. She started to turn it when she heard a reggae beat, but she listened
to the lyrics about God being an awesome God and recognized them from an older song Mama Lorraine liked.
Iesha sang along as best she could, praising God for reigning with wisdom, power, and love. She looked in her rearview mirror
and saw Raquan and Sha-Lai jamming. Raquan was doing the Harlem shakes and only Sha-Lai knew what she was doing. Iesha started
dancing too. She enjoyed the clever remix so much she hoped the host would announce the artist’s name.
She shushed the kids when the host began talking. “Good morning to you. This is Zoe and Marcus sitting in with you on Morning
Joy, helping you to have a terrific Tuesday. That was Kirk Franklin featuring Papa San on ‘He Reigns . . .’ ”
Iesha reached for her cell phone and speed-dialed Charity. She remembered that Charity had played a Kirk Franklin CD at the
open house. When she didn’t get an answer, she looked at the clock on the dashboard.
Where could she be at 8:00 in the morning?
She hung up when she considered that she could still be sleeping.
She dropped the kids off at school and headed back toward home to do some cleaning. Her cell phone rang. The caller ID displayed
Terrence’s name and number.
“Hey, you,” she greeted him with his own words.
“Hey, sweetie. Have you dropped the kids off yet?”
“Yep, I’m on my way back home.”
“I think I have your schedule down pat now. Did you eat breakfast?”
“Sort of.”
“Does that mean you’d like to eat with me, or at least watch me eat?”
She looked down at her clothes. “Uh, I don’t think I should be out in public with what I have on.”
“Please, it’s not the clothes that make you look good. You make them look good. I’m sure you’re fine. Do we have a date?”
“If you don’t mind being with an old Mary J. Blige wannabe,” she chuckled.
“Okay, Mary, meet me at Eat Well on Freedom Drive. That’s your side of town, right?”
“Yes. How long will it take you to get there?”
“Don’t even think about changing clothes. You go straight there. I might get there before you.’’
After they said their good-byes, she offered up prayers of thanksgiving. God had more than answered her prayers. Not only
had He given her a wonderful man, but this man was also fine, financially stable, and fun. Not to mention, saved. She arrived
at Eat Well just a few minutes ahead of Terrence. She walked over to his sky-blue Honda Accord.
He kissed her on the cheek. “Girl, Mary J. Blige wishes she looked like you.” Iesha blushed and followed him into the restaurant.
“I’ve got a nine-thirty delivery to make this morning. Will you make the run with me?”
“Well, I was thinking about going to check on my sister this morning.”
“How about we do it together after my run?”
Iesha agreed when Terrence gave her a charming look. “Okay, I’ll go. But don’t make that look no habit. It doesn’t work for
my kids and it’s not gonna work for you.”
“I’ll have to teach Raquan and Sha-Lai how to do it correctly,” he laughed.
She was impressed that he remembered their names. “You have a good memory.”
“Only when it comes to what’s important.”
She just shook her head when she considered how mindful God is of her. She finished her hot chocolate and waited for him to
finish his breakfast. Iesha begged to leave the tip while he paid the bill. She’d heard Charity talk about sowing seeds and
she wanted to give it a try. When he finished his food, he suggested she leave her car at the restaurant and ride with him.
“If you’re delivering something, why aren’t you driving your truck?”
“I kept my schedule light today. I just have this nine-thirty and another one later. I let the guys take my load today.”
“Oh.”
“You think I’m up to something?”
“I don’t know. You tell me!”
He smiled. “You didn’t tell me you were paranoid. Anything else you think I should know?”
“No that’s about it.”
“You sure? ’Cause I hate to find out—”
“Oooh oooh, turn that up!” She interrupted when she heard the song that she and the kids were listening to earlier.
Terrence turned up the volume of his CD player. “A Kirk Franklin fan, huh?”
“I heard that song for the first time this morning. I like it.”
“Oh, you should hear the whole CD. It’s nice. This is my favorite track.” He pushed a button a couple of times. “This is called
‘My Love, My Life, My All.’”
They rode in silence, listening to the confessions of adoration and praise.
“That is beautiful,” Iesha agreed. “I was going to ask my sister if I could borrow her CD. May I borrow yours?”
“Borrow? You can have it. I’ll get another one.”
Terrence parked the car and walked around to Iesha’s door, She observed where they were. She had never been inside of the
“gold building” as her friends called it. He went to the trunk to grab his clipboard and a box. He dropped his clipboard.
They bumped heads as they both bent down to pick it up.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “It ain’t like this box is heavy.”
“You need me to carry something?”
“No, I’ve got it.”
She looked at him crossly. He seemed fidgety and nervous. “This ain’t no drug run, is it?”
He laughed. “No. Come on before you call the police on me.”
“And you know this.”
They rode the elevator to the fourth floor. “I’mma wait for you on the elevator in case something goes down,” Iesha joked.
“Come on. I brought you along because I wanted you to know what I do.”
“I’ll hold the elevator so I can see.”
“Girl, come on here.” He gently pulled her out and led her to Diamonds Direct.
“Heck no, I ain’t going in there,” Iesha said, pulling back when she saw a man with a long ponytail in a suit working behind
a jewelry counter. “He look like he work for the Mafia. You deliver your package by yourself.”
“Iesha,” Terrence called her name in a tone she had not heard him use. “Baby, this has nothing to do with my job. I brought
you here because I love you and I want to spend my life with you.” Even though she was no longer resisting him, she was not
quite sure she understood what he was saying. He continued, “You said yesterday that if I asked you to marry me, that you
would.” He put the box and clipboard down and kneeled on both knees. He took her hands. “Iesha, will you make me an even more
blessed man by agreeing to be my wife? Marry me.”
She swallowed hard and looked around to see if anyone was watching. “Terrence, you are a wonderful man of God, more than I
could ever deserve. But it’s just been one week to the day and I have kids that you haven’t even met, you don’t even know
my background, I just lost my job—”
By this time the man with the ponytail was coming out of the store toward them.
“None of those things are relative when God is involved. I believe that you’re the woman that He has preserved for me. And
I’m more than willing to accept and love everything about you, including Sha-Lai and Raquan. I’ll ask you one more time, and
if you say no or wait, that’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Are you ready?” She nodded. “Will you marry me?”
She looked into his eyes and saw that he meant every word. She considered what her parents, Charity, the kids, and even her
friends would say. She shut out all of their voices and responded, “Yes, I’d be honored to be Mrs. Terrence Davis.”
“Congratulations,” the man with the ponytail greeted.
But Terrence and Iesha were too entwined in an embrace to pay any attention to him. When they released their lips from the
kiss Terrence had initiated, Iesha held his face in the palms of her hands and wiped his tears.
“Congratulations,” the man again offered.
They both thanked the man and accepted his handshake. He led them into the store and after about two hours, Iesha selected
a wide-band solitaire wedding set.
“I should call my mom,” Iesha suggested on the way out.
“That’s too impersonal. Let’s prepare dinner for her or take her out.”
“Okay. But that means we’ll have to wait until the weekend to drive up to West Virginia to tell your parents.”
“Oh no. We can call them. They already know.”
As they walked toward his car, Iesha’s cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. “Speaking of the devil. It’s my mom.”
“Momma, I’ve got some news, are you sitting down?” When she didn’t hear a response, she thought they had been disconnected.
“Momma, can you hear me?”
“Yes. Esha,” she said between sniffles, “Cherry’s in the hospital.”
“Noooo. Is she all right? What happened?” Iesha could see the concern on Terrence’s face. She held her hand over the mouthpiece.
“My sister’s in the hospital.” He slowed their pace and put his arm around her shoulder. “What’chu say, Momma?”
“She tried to kill herself,” Mama Lorraine said.
Iesha stopped in her tracks as tears fell. Terrence bowed his head.
“She overdosed on some pills,” Mama Lorraine continued. “Pastor King just called.”
“Pastor King? How’d he find out before us?”
“Just meet me at the hospital. We’ll talk then.”
“Is she going to be all right?”
“Right now she’s in ICU.”
“Oh God. Momma, I’ll see you in a little bit.”
When they got back to Terrence’s car, Iesha told him what her mom had said. She tried to be strong but when he leaned over
and laid her head on his chest, she just couldn’t hold back the tears.
HE WAS BEING STRONG FOR GRANNY AND AUNT ELISA.
He knew that if they saw him crying, they would lose it. Granny and her ex-
husband, Emmitt’s grandfather, were first in the processional line to the funeral home. Aunt Elisa and her teenage sons were
next. Emmitt and Shawanda were behind them. As best as he could, he blocked out the sniffles, coughs, and choking sobs behind
him.
I can do this. I can do this
. The closer he got to the champagne- colored casket, the more he felt like a Spike Lee movie character, being rolled onto
a set instead of walking. He was glad to see that Granny was composed. She bent down and kissed her restful daughter on the
cheek and went to sit on the first row. He watched Aunt Elisa approach and survey her lifeless sister, Elaine. He could tell
by her shuddering shoulders that she was crying.
Oh Lord, please don’t let her show out
.
It looked like Aunt Elisa was getting ready to kiss her, but the shrill of her scream pierced his heart. “Take me, Lord. Take
me now, Jesus! Don’t leave me, Elaine.”
Emmitt looked back to see how far he was from an exit. The waiting line was too monstrous. Wailing and sobbing could be heard
as far back as the line extended. The louder Aunt Elisa got, the louder the crowd became. When he turned around to check on
his aunt, three female ushers were wrestling to get her out of the casket.