Read Good Morning Heartache Online
Authors: Audrey Dacey
Good Morning Heartache (9 page)
“You know you're pretty good
when you're on the defensive,” she remembered aloud. “When I came up to you at
the wedding and when you sat down at breakfast the next day, you participated
in some pretty advanced colloquy.”
Ryan warmed her with a
smile. She forgot for a moment that she wasn't wearing makeup or anything sexy,
and she let him make her feel precious. It wasn't something she was in the
habit of letting men do, but it wouldn’t hurt for a few seconds. If he’d shut
up and smile, he’d seem perfect to anyone with eyes. Well, at least to anyone
with a vagina.
“You know, you're right.
There's something about your abrasiveness that sets me at ease.” He ran his
eyes over her body sending warmth to the parts he eyed. “You don’t appear as
abrasive tonight. Maybe that's why I came off as awkward at first.”
No one had ever called
Alexis abrasive. She thought that she came off as confident, sexy, and
occasionally brazen, but not in an aggressive way. At least not an
aggressiveness that wasn’t appreciated later.
“I'd like to have dinner
with you,” he spoke, suddenly confident.
“What? Why?” She was truly
taken aback by the statement, and the little hairs along her spine rose to
standing.
“I need to practice being
socially competent. I think that you would be great to practice with.” Alexis
glanced behind her to see if the woman with the obstructive cart had left, but
she had moved only slightly toward the end of the aisle, not giving her an out.
“We had a deal. No strings.
I don't date.” She grabbed the blue hand basket she had set on the floor in the
middle of the aisle and began backing away.
“It's not a date. It's
dinner. Between two friends of friends, so one of them can practice social
skills.” His tone was disarming, but Alexis couldn't help but feel like he was
tricking her.
Despite the fact that she
was moving backward, Ryan didn't move forward. He held his ground, so she
stopped moving and said, “It sounds like a date. I don't date. What about
lunch? Lunch is friendlier.”
“As you pointed out, I'm an
ass during the work day. Remember? Give me a fighting chance at making
reasonable conversation.”
Alexis laced both arms
through the basket and held it high to her chest. “I don't think so. It's been
really nice talking to you again, but I’m going to go now.”
To her surprise, Ryan moved
out of her way.
Why did men have to do this?
She wasn't a great person. She made that abundantly clear, at least she thought
so. Why did they want to date her?
“We'll go early. 5:30.” He
called after her, but Alexis kept walking. “To McDonald's.”
Alexis turned on her heel to
look at him with a raised eyebrow. “McDonald's?”
“Absolutely. In separate
cars.” He ran a hand through his dark locks and scratched the back of his neck.
She considered him with a
narrowed gaze for several moments. He didn’t seem dangerous, but neither had
Richard. “There's one on the 68 in Gardner. If you're not there by 5:35, I'm
leaving.” She wasn’t sure why she said it, but now that she had, she was going.
Whether she liked it or not.
“Deal.” He smiled again, but
this time, she shivered.
“See you tomorrow then.” She
turned and walked out of the aisle, questioning herself as to how he was able
to penetrate her defenses so well. There was something about this man that intrigued
her, and that was dangerous. From the moment she chose him at the wedding
reception, she knew he was a threat to her rules and restrictions, but she had
ignored the little voice inside her telling her “no”. For whatever reason, she
ignored it again tonight.
It was a date. It had to be
a date because that is what he was dared to do. He didn't want to do it and
figured he could be enough of a hermit in this small town that avoiding her for
the remainder of his stay would be easy. Of course that plan involved him
remembering to pack his toothpaste.
He headed toward the back of
the store in the direction opposite the way Alexis had gone. Apparently he was
creepy, so he probably shouldn’t follow her even if it was the fastest way to
the oral hygiene aisle.
Ryan almost walked out of
the store when he saw Alexis's chocolate brown pony tail flop below the top of
the shelves, but he didn't go back on his word. If there was one thing he
learned from his parents, it was that.
It would have been tricky to
avoid her when she came back for the dog food, but the following Monday was Memorial
Day and the crew wouldn't be working, so he had planned to go back to the city
for a few days and not return until she was long gone with the chow. But now,
why waste the gas?
Ryan hadn't wanted to accept
the dare, and he didn't need to be reminded that his social skills were crap.
The fact that he wasn’t promoted was all the reminder he needed, but it wasn’t
the only one he had. With the exception of Alexis, he hadn't had sex in almost
a year. As great as Alexis was, she couldn't make up for several months of
celibacy.
Ryan meandered through the
drugstore, looking up at the signs that swayed from the ceiling in the breeze
from the air conditioning vent. Taking his time, he finally found the
toothpaste aisle and carefully considered the brands and flavors. Really, there
were only two flavors, at least two acceptable flavors, and the name on the
tube that he squeezed the paste out of didn't matter. But it was better to
stall, so he considered his options. Another encounter with Alexis tonight was
out of the question, and if he hung out in the toothpaste aisle for long
enough, there wouldn't be much of a chance of that. Everything about her body
language had told him that she was desperate to get away from him.
He wasn't sure what he did
wrong, but he was pretty sure he did something. That was the worst part of his
awkwardness. He never knew he had said something stupid until it was too late.
It didn't hit him until that moment that the exchange in the lotion aisle
painted him an idiot.
Ryan ran his long fingers
through his hair. He could feel the stiffness of the gel, but it was soft from
hours of combing his hands through it with frustration. And today was less
frustrating than most.
He thought he had done
pretty well with her until tonight—and of course Monday—but did that warrant
her running away from him like he was about to attack her? He felt like an
idiot, and to top it all off, they had a date at McDonald's. Awesome. He’d
consider it a miracle if she didn’t stand him up.
Maybe Daniel was right.
Maybe this was why he had trouble with women.
Glancing down at his watch,
Ryan realized that he had been standing in front of the toothpaste for at least
five minutes. That was probably enough time for Alexis to get out of the store.
Without much consideration, he grabbed the closest box of mint-whatever and
headed up the aisle toward the line of cash registers. He peeked around the end
of the shelving, relieved not to see her around.
It wasn't that he didn't
like her. He liked her too much for someone he knew only Biblically. Most women
were easy to push out of his life and his mind. They didn't take care of
themselves or were too stupid or too clingy for him.
Though Alexis wasn't her
normal dolled up self, at least from what he could tell from the few instances
he'd had the pleasure, she still was sexy in her little shorts and t-shirt. In
many ways, he preferred it. She looked natural—she had looked like that after
their second round on Saturday night. It was sexy, and he hated himself for
taking the time out of his day to think so.
When Ryan reached the front
of the line, the cashier, a young kid with pimples speckling his face so
violently it made Ryan pity him, asked if he found everything he was looking
for. Ryan nodded his head. He knew that it was better than saying anything,
because something ridiculous would come out, like “more than I was looking for.”
It would only confuse the kid. It was easy for Ryan to rationalize that silence
was the better option. Nine times out of ten it worked.
Ryan left the store and
slipped into his black Lincoln Town Car. He had chosen it to blend in with the
top guys at the firm, though most of them enjoyed theirs from the back seat.
Ryan rarely drove it, opting for the ease of the subway, but he felt like he
had to have a car. He'd been driving since he was fourteen. One didn't get far
in Iowa without a car. One didn't get far in Manhattan
with
one.
As he slid into the soft
leather seat, his eye caught the white envelope on the darkness of the fabric.
He hadn't bought a stamp for it yet, and he didn't know that he would. Daniel's
offer of starting a company in Boston had sunk in by Tuesday night, and in a
fit of anger, Ryan wrote his letter of resignation from Pontus Architects. The
drive back to Michael and Caitlyn's house took him right by the post office,
but he wouldn't allow himself to stop.
Judge Josephine Price shook
her head. “It’s the way the law works, Alexis. I looked into why the
restraining order wasn’t in effect after you called. This guy is a ghost. He’s
never at his home; several boxes are piled up at the doorway of his apartment.
The carrier has stopped service to his mail so one copy of the order is in the
Post Office. The other was where the Sheriff’s department left it a month ago.
He doesn’t have a known job, and it’s possible he is using an alias.”
“Certainly, he can be
arrested for assaulting me, order or no order.”
“Again, we’d have to find
him first.”
Alexis drew in a long,
calming breath. This wasn’t her aunt’s fault. She had done everything she
could. Alexis felt that no matter what she did, she wasn’t safe. She hated that
feeling. “What can I do in the meantime?”
She leaned back in her
chair. “You can always stay with us, Alexis, until this all gets sorted out.”
Alexis looked around the
sparse judge’s chamber. Bookshelves lined every inch of wall space, a desk held
a lamp and one family picture, and three chairs were the only other pieces of
furniture. It was about as cozy as the woman’s home, which wouldn’t put Alexis
at ease. Right now, she just wanted to be comfortable. “I appreciate the offer,
Aunt Jo, but Riley’s with me right now. I wouldn’t want to put you in a
position to take us both in.”
“Right,” she hummed and
squinted as though she were deep in thought. Riley had always been the black
sheep of the family, making her a great excuse. At first it was because she was
so young. All of their cousins were in Alexis’s generation, and Alexis was the
youngest of them. It was the reason Alexis’s parents appointed her Riley’s
guardian. And then it was because Riley went wild, which was the reason Alexis
remained her guardian.
“You know a lot of the men
in the police department.” Her aunt looked deliberately above Alexis when she
said it. She had mostly amicable relationships with her aunts, uncles, and
cousins, but when it came down to it, they were damned snobs who didn’t
understand her or approve of her choice to have sex out of wedlock. They liked
to shove it in her face as often as they could. “Call one of them whenever you
receive a package from him or see him.” Aunt Jo leaned forward and pointed her
finger at Alexis. “You want to build an ironclad case against him. Don’t wait
like you did this time.”
“I didn’t think it would
matter that much.” Sure the flowers were annoying, but she took care of that on
her own. As for the parking lot incident, Alexis just wanted to make sure he
was gone, so she could get behind the safety of her house alarm before she
called the police. It was the only place where she felt safe. If he broke in
with the alarm set, the cops would be there in a matter of minutes, and she
wouldn’t have to do a damn thing.
“It matters quite a bit if
you want this order to be finalized. Right now it doesn’t look like you are
serious about keeping this man away from you.”
Alexis remembered his stony
body crushing her against her car, the sleepless night she spent wondering how
this all went so wrong, and the eight cups of coffee she drank so that she
could make it to Boston to talk to her aunt to get this all straightened out.
“I’m
very
serious. If
he isn’t served with those papers soon and put behind bars, I’m going to sue
the District court for being incompetent.” Alexis stood up and slung her purse
over her shoulder. Aunt Jo slowly stood as well, straightening out her black
pants suit before walking around her desk to her niece. She placed her hands on
Alexis’s arms and looked right into her eyes, giving her a forced smile.
“You don’t mean that, dear,
but I will make sure that the order gets served by the end of the weekend.”
Alexis gave her a smile
back. “It better be. I know a lot of men in lawyers’ offices as well.” Alexis
didn’t want to take on the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She didn’t have the
energy, but she did have the time and the money. “If that’s what it takes to
show just how serious I am, I’ll have someone in here Monday morning. Someone
who knows how to serve papers properly.”
Aunt Jo dropped her hands to
her sides. “Okay.” She walked back around her desk, sat down, and began rummaging
through her paperwork. “Is there anything else?”
“No, ma’am.” Alexis turned,
opened the heavy wooden door, and passed through it. This was going to be taken
care of, she assured herself. Richard Dunn was by far the worst stalker that
she had ever had. Most of them just expected something more from her, and when
they realized they weren’t going to get it, they faded into the background—a
couple weeks of inconvenience at the max—but not Richard.
Alexis didn’t understand men
when it came to relationships. There was a hunger in a man that could never be
satisfied by just one woman, no matter how skilled she was in bed. Even the
other things a woman could offer, like her sparkling personality or mad cooking
skills, weren’t very helpful in getting a man to stick around longer than
breakfast. Alexis didn’t have a sparkling personality, and she didn’t know how
to turn on the oven, but she was flirtatious, upfront, and demanding. It got
her what she wanted, and that was all that mattered.
Despite all this, somewhere
along the way some men—friends even—thought that they could be her “the one” if
she gave them the chance. They thought they could domesticate her, but that
wasn’t the problem. Alexis had proved she was ready to settle down with one man
for the rest of her life years ago. Luckily, before she got married, they both
realized something—he had some more playing to do. When it came to sex, men
would always be wild. Alexis was sure that if everyone sat down and agreed on
that, the world would be a better place.
Alexis yanked open the door
to her Porsche and sat down. She reached down in between her legs and grabbed
the Taser that was under her seat. She wasn’t going anywhere without that baby
anymore. God help Richard Dunn if he touched her again.
A rolled set of blueprints
landed in Ryan’s hand as he watched the crewmen begin to pack up their tools
for the day.
“What’s this?” He looked
over at Daniel, who had slipped his hands into his front pockets and gazed at a
thick piece of smoky plastic where the west wall of the house used to be.
“Blueprints that Henry
Thackery drew up for a project that I’m going to start working on next month.”
Ryan was confused. If the
prints were drawn up, what the hell did Daniel need him for? Thackery was good
enough. “And?”
Daniel continued to look
forward. “And I want a second opinion. It doesn’t feel right to me.”
“Okay. Why don’t you talk to
Thackery about that? If he’s the lead on the project, I don’t want to overstep.
Hell, having these plans in my hand seems underhanded, since he works for a
different firm.” Ryan tried to hand the plans back to his friend, but Daniel
pulled a hand from his jeans and batted them away.
“Will you just do this for
me?”
“Fine, but I’m not stealing
a project from this guy. It’s not right.” Ryan turned and walked into the
living room—one of the few areas that had all four walls and table where he
could work. He sat on the couch and unrolled the plans on the wooden coffee
table. For a moment he studied the prints, but it wasn’t long before he kneaded
his brow together. “Were these approved?”
“Not yet.”
“This is the worst work I
have ever seen come out of Thackery’s office. It’s like he forgot everything he
ever learned about design. Jesus, I can’t even look at this. Give me a pencil.”
Daniel silently handed him a pencil, and Ryan began crossing things out and
sketching. “You can’t just throw up walls and call it good. This is a Colonial
home. The design needs to be cohesive with the rest of the structure or it will
look abysmal like these plans.”
Daniel watched over his
shoulder and hummed in agreement as Ryan continued to tell him why these plans
didn’t make sense. Occasionally he added a “that’s what I thought” to the
one-sided conversation.
“Listen,” Ryan looked over
his shoulder to face Daniel, “this is really rough, but it’s what I would
basically do with it. Where is this house? Long Island? It’s definitely not in
the city.”
Daniel stood up and walked
to the picture window across the room, looking out and rubbing the back of his
head with his hand. “Just outside of Salem.”
“You son of a bitch.” Ryan
jumped up and threw the pencil on the table. “And Thackery?”
“He didn’t touch the plans.
That was something I threw together.” Daniel smiled. “I thought it was pretty
good for an amateur.”
Ryan grabbed the knot of his
tie and yanked it until he was free of the cloth that was suddenly making it
difficult to breathe. He walked over to the window, crossed his arms, and
looked out at the bright green lawn. “What are you trying to prove?”
“That it wouldn’t be boring.
That you would actually enjoy these types of projects if you gave them a
chance.” Daniel turned toward Ryan and put his hand on his shoulder. Ryan
wanted to be angry with him—he wanted to punch him in the face—but he knew he
couldn’t. Daniel was the big brother he never had, the family that he had
prayed for. And even if the guy was killing his career and trying to take Ryan
down with him, he could never really be angry. Irritated, however, was a
completely different story.
“I’m not leaving New York to
work on additions. This was a one-time thing for friends, not a portfolio
builder. After this, I need to focus on the big projects so they realize they
screwed up and promoted the wrong guy.”
Daniel smiled. “You wouldn’t
have to do that if you were working with me. You’d be top dog.”
Ryan forced a tense laugh. “Top
of what? The Salem historical home renovations circuit?”
“Some things are more
important than being the architectural king of New York.” Daniel lowered his
hands. A smirk crossed his lips as he turned his gaze back out the window. “Speaking
of which, don’t you have date to get ready for?”
“You can’t help yourself,
can you?” Ryan glanced at his watch. “Besides, I’m ready.”
Daniel gave him a skeptical
look. “You’d be better off in something a little less business and a little
more casual. You’re unlikely to impress her covered in sawdust.”
“I’m not looking to impress
her. I’m looking to eat a cheeseburger.”
The smell of grease
permeated the heavy air. Alexis's stomach turned as she stared at the contents
of the tray in front of her. She knew she shouldn't. She should have gotten
some apple slices and an iced tea, but she hadn't. Now that the hot, gooey
burger was in front of her, she wouldn't be able to resist its charms. While
this was a great place to go for a non-date, it was a better test of her
willpower, and she had failed.
Her stomach wasn’t turning
because of the grease or the debate over whether to eat the pile of calories in
front of her. Her reason had lost that debate five minutes ago. Instead it was
the dark-haired figure staring at her from across the plastic table, eating a
burger like it wasn't a big deal and saying nothing. Alexis hated him a little
bit, for not struggling. Guys never seemed to contemplate what they were eating
or how it was going to help or hurt their love handles. What was especially
frustrating was that this guy didn't have a single part of his body she could
significantly pinch between her thumb and forefinger, much less dare to call a
love handle. What a jerk.
She hated having people
watch her eat. It wasn't elegant or sexy, though neither was this food. Alexis
looked down and fumbled over the top of the burger, trying to figure out the
best way to pick it up without dripping ketchup on herself. Eventually, she
found an acceptable way and took a dainty bite out of the temptation. Sweet
Jesus, it was good. For a moment she concentrated only on the salty mix of
flavors dancing across her taste buds. Her eyes were closed, and she forgot where
she was and with whom. She savored it because she knew that she could only eat
half, if that, and she had missed the artery-clogging mess of a Big Mac in her
mouth.
When the bite was gone, she
opened her eyes and saw Ryan taking advantage of the gift before him, eating
without reserve or consideration of the specialness of the meal.
She narrowed her eyes at
him. “It must be hard to work on your social skills with food constantly in
your mouth.”
She watched as he chewed his
last bite, swallowed, and then washed it down with soda. “Probably. I wouldn't
know.”
Alexis set her burger down
on the paper tray-liner and crossed her arms under her breasts. “What do you
mean?”
“I've never worked on them
before. I've gotten by until now with what I've got.”
Her glare deepened. “Don't
you have friends that you could work on this with?”
“Sure, but they’re easy to
talk to. I don't have problems with them.” He took another bite, finishing off
his sandwich.
“I thought I was easy to
talk to,” she pointed out, hoping in the back of her mind she could get out of
there.
“You are. But I don't know
you…” he stopped and eyed her breasts for a lingering moment before continuing
to her face, “…all that well, so it's different.”
Alexis didn't want to get to
know him. Sex. Two meals. Conversations about their lives. This was starting to
look dangerously like a relationship, and she had no interest in having a
relationship with this man. Or any man.
