“No,” Alex said. “I really don’t know what to say.” “Say thank you,” Drew suggested. “Thank you.” “You’re wellcome. Now quit trippin’. This is what friends are for.” “Hey, Alex,” Jason piped up. “The angel chick? Rachel? Is she smokin’ hot, too?” “Yes.” “So you’re wrapped up in a fight against evil with two smoking hot women glued to you and your buddies along for the ride? Dude. You’re like a Joss Whedon show, man.” “I am not,” Alex replied. “You totally are.” “Jason, stop it. I’m serious.” “I’m just sayin’.” “Jason,” Wade broke in, “y’al realize that if he’s a Joss Whedon show, at least one of his gals has gotta get kil ed off in some climactic moment for no other reason than to punch up the drama, right?” Jason caught Alex’s less-than-amused glare. He fell silent. “Like he said,” Wade finished, “not a Whedon show. Turn up here.” “Episcopal?” Drew blinked.
“Yeah,” Wade nodded. “Good as any. I know some nice Episcopalians.” “You don’t know for sure that this particular congregation is devout, though,” Drew frowned. “Ah don’t. We’l find out in a sec, I imagine. This don’t work, we go look for a different church. But ah figured this’d be a good place to start.” Rob began to twist and rol violently, foaming at the mouth from behind his makeshift sock-and-duct-tape gag. “I’m guessing that’s a good sign,” Alex mused grimly. With that, Wade pul ed up the hood of his sweatshirt, jumped out of the Escalade as it parked and ran up the steps to the front door. “Hope there ain’t a night watchman,” Drew fumed. “Doesn’t look like,” Jason gulped. “This is a nice neighborhood. Shit like this doesn’t happen here. Who breaks into an Episcopal church?” “People who don’t like Episcopals,” Drew scowled. “I’m just sayin’ this is some fucked up shit.” His expression softened as he glanced at Jason and Alex. “Not that I’ve got any better ideas.” Alex shrugged, looking away. He was out of ideas, too. He glanced around the SUV and noticed a sleek briefcase pushed under the passenger’s seat. He pul ed it out and twiddled with the latches until it popped open. There were files and a few snacks, along with what looked like old, leathery parchment with words written in red ink. “Ohmygod,” Alex blinked. “Are these…?” he looked at Rob and yanked the headphones off his head. “Are these contracts? Are these deals you’ve made with people?” Rob’s eyes went wide with panic at the sight. He was still gagged, so al he could do was spew muffled screams at Alex and Drew while thrashing around on the floor of the Escalade.
“Let me see,” Jason asked, snatching one of the parchments. “Looks like Latin, maybe. This word is soul, this one means money. Holy crap,” he mumbled. He handed the parchment back to Alex with a trembling hand. The guys looked at one another with the twitching demon between them. Alex swal owed hard, thinking of Raymond Cordingly and wondering how many beings much like Rob were already angry over how that had turned out… Wade slapped the window of the SUV, scaring the hell out of al of them. The guys yelped. Wade rolled his eyes and opened the passenger door. “Ah don’t think there’s an easy way in. Gonna have to go through a window an’ try ta open the front doors from th’ inside. Drag this guy up to th’ doorstep an’ be ready.” Drew looked over to Alex. “You sure about this, man?” Alex shrugged, opening the side door of the SUV. He grabbed the briefcase with one hand and Rob’s bound ankles with the other. “Can’t think of a better reason to be arrested, anyway.” The three young men hustled Rob out of the Escalade. The demon writhed in captivity, alternately growling, crying and trying to plead through the gag. He was heavier than he looked, creating a difficult burden complicated by the need to carry the briefcase and the bag of his wings, tail and bits of horn. Of the four of them, only Wade’s heart had been hardened enough to do something like this without doubt. But each of the others found a moment, in turn, to look down at the crumpled remnants of demonic horns sprouting from Rob’s head and the baleful rage in his eyes to remind them of their lack of options. As they made it to the front door, they heard the crash of a window being broken around the corner. “Hope this works,” Jason muttered. “No kidding,” Alex agreed. “Ow!” Drew snapped. He dropped Rob’s shoulder, letting it hit the ground. “He’s smoldering!” The others looked down, realizing smoke was coming off of the demon. Hot boils appeared on his skin. Flesh
bubbled up and burst. His cries became increasingly desperate. The sound of Wade working the locks from within caught their attention, and an agonizingly long moment later the door was pushed open. “Wow,” Wade blinked at the sight of Rob. Nobody wanted to touch him, but Alex shrugged. “Gotta finish this,” he grumbled, and each of the guys took hold of Rob’s bonds while doing their best not to touch him directly. They hauled him inside the dark church, and then found themselves unsure of what to do. “What now?” Jason wondered. “We just leave him here, maybe?” Drew suggested. “Maybe we’re supposed to bring him to the altar?” Alex thought. “Do they even have altars in Episcopal churches? I’ve never been here before.” “That’s probably fuckin’ sacrilege,” Wade countered. “Get us in just as much trouble as—oh shit!” Light came up from everywhere and nowhere at once. It il uminated the chapel, quickly becoming blinding in intensity. A voice boomed, “Step back from the fiend!” Frightened by the sudden display, each of the youths complied. Rob fought to rise, managing to get to his knees just before the angel appeared. He was tal and muscular, shining with light and glory as he strode from beside the pulpit down the aisles of pews. “Creature of the Pit, you do not belong here!” Rob screamed, and then the angel drove a great sword of light through his heart. His body began to crack and smolder, looking much like a burning coal before he finally began to crumble to ash. The bag of demon bits in Jason’s hand suddenly ignited. He dropped it on the floor on reflex, then watched it burn away to nothing. Rob’s ashes floated away on a wind to seemingly nowhere. Alex blinked, opened the briefcase, and then stepped away from it as the contracts within also ignited and burned
into nothing. The four battered, weary, frightened young men turned to the painfully bright angel. They couldn’t make out much in the way of features. “Your part in this is done,” the angel’s voice boomed. “Go in peace.” “Uh,” Wade began, “if y’al ’re actually an agent of God, ah got some questions—” “Wade,” Alex hissed. “They don’t answer questions. You’re just gonna piss him off.” “Seriously? But he’s like right there! Ah got serious theological issues!” “Angels can’t even tel you straight if God exists, man.” “Wow. That makes no sense.” “Welcome to religion,” Jason said, eyes rol ing. “I will show you out,” the angel finally sighed. * “You’ve been sleeping with him for days and you haven’t even exchanged cel phone numbers?!” “He hasn’t exactly been far out of reach!” Lorelei snapped back. Rachel fumed. “Rub it in, why don’t you?” she muttered under her breath. The two picked their way back out of the wrecked pool hall , frustrated by the lack of clues but grateful for the lack of bodies.
“Have you tried to see him again?” Lorelei asked. As they walked out of the pool hall , the succubus instinctively headed for her car. Rachel fol owed, having no more appealing option. “I’ve been trying to see him since I realized my sight was blocked. If he’s not with you and I can’t see him, it has to be either magic or some other demon. Odds are it isn’t magic,” she added. “You sure you don’t have enemies?” “Only one other from the Pit even knows I’m around, and he would know better than to chal enge me, even if… Rachel,” she winced, turning from her. “What?” “You’re glowing. Brightly.” “What?” “Your halo.” “Don’t fuck with me,” Rachel snapped, “my halo’s been a fucking joke ever since…since…Monday,” Rachel’s voice trailed off as she cast her eyes upward. There was indeed a holy light emanating from just above her head. “I can see him,” she gasped. * Outside on the steps of the church, the angel’s light was less bright. “You have served a greater good this night than you know,” he said. “That’l make us feel better when we get arrested for al this mess,” Drew sighed.
“You four shall suffer no mortal il s because of your actions tonight. Look upon yourselves. Your wounds already heal. Leave the vehicle behind. No mortal authority will trace it to you, nor your battle earlier.” “You saw that?” “Heaven sees much, Jason Cohen. Moreover, I see tonight’s events in your memories. Perhaps you will yet find your faith.” A single car came up the hill at a rapid clip. It slowed quickly upon approach, brakes squealing as it came up to the church. Alex recognized it immediately. Both doors opened; to his surprise, Rachel leapt out of the passenger’s side and ran up the steps. Lorelei was there, too, slipping out of the driver’s side but then quickly stepping back. She held her hands up to block out the light of the angel at the church. A moment later that light faded. “Rachel,” the voice said as the light went out, “we must speak.” With that, al sign of the other angel vanished. Rachel had only paused momentarily at the sound of the voice before she threw her arms around Alex. “Are you okay? We were so worried!” “We?” Alex blinked. “Yes, me and—Lorelei,” Rachel said, catching herself. She looked down to the street, where Lorelei stood well away from the curb. The guardian angel was silent for a moment as she made a decision. “Come on,” she said, tugging Alex to fol ow her down the steps. “Hey, Alex,” Drew asked, “is this…?” “Yeah. Guys, this is Rachel,” he said as they walked. “Rachel, this is Drew, Jason and Wade. They’re my friends.” “Hi,” Rachel waved over her shoulder. “I’d really like to talk, but I’m kind of in a rush.” She dragged Alex over to Lorelei. Then she let go.
“What—?” he blinked. Rachel nudged him. “Hug her, dummy. She can’t go on sacred ground.” Alex looked at Lorelei, whose worries were obvious even as they faded. He reached out and took her into his arms. “You had me concerned,” Lorelei said, blinking back a tear. “He said his name was Rob,” Alex mumbled. “Yes. That’s what he claims.” “The angel kil ed him in there, I think. Does that mean he’l be back? He said if he died, he’d tel everyone in hell about us and—” Lorelei shook her head against Alex’s shoulder. “If destroyed on holy ground, a demon is gone forever. He will trouble us no more. I am so sorry you had to deal with this without me. I tried…I was hoping to shield you from this.” “It’s okay. I’ve got more friends than just you. It’s okay.” “You are so much more than my friend, Alex,” she whispered. “I know. I know.” Lorelei pul ed back a bit then, breathing deeply. She looked up to Rachel. “Your time is short?” “It is,” Rachel nodded. Alex looked to her, amazed to see them being so cordial. “Talk to her,” Lorelei told him. “I’l be here with your friends.” Surprised, Alex nodded, kissed Lorelei lightly, and then reached out to take Rachel’s offered hand. The two walked back toward the church.
“Wish I had your problems,” Jason murmured with a wink as Alex passed. “When did you two start getting along?” Alex asked Rachel. “We don’t. But we talked for a bit when she walked out of the pool hall . That’s why I didn’t come to your rescue. Oh, Alex, this is twice now. I suck at this job.” “You do not.” “I do. I’m the suckiest guardian angel ever.” “Stop. Why were you and Lorelei talking?” “Because you asked us to bury the hatchet. We’re trying.” Alex blinked. “Real y? You’d…you’re doing that for me?” Rachel just nodded. She turned to face him in front of the church, now holding both his hands. She was wet and disheveled and achingly beautiful. “Tel me what happened,” she said simply. Alex relayed the evening for her, as detailed as he possibly could in light of the numerous sudden shocks and blows to the head he’d suffered. Her eyes widened as he spoke. “Gorge,” she said. “Yeah.” “And you saw al his contracts burn up inside.” “Yes. The ones he had in the briefcase, anyway.” She held his hands tightly. “Alex, you don’t know…you can’t have any idea of what a big deal this is,” Rachel breathed in awe.
“We kinda just didn’t al want to die,” Alex admitted. “No, it’s—it’s more than that.” She looked like she had to make an effort to choke back a tear. “You did way more than survive an attack from a piddling little temptation demon.” Alex blinked. “That guy was piddling?” Rachel nodded, then shrugged. “Hey, that’s a major accomplishment for four mortals with no preparation or foreknowledge. These things don’t just happen every other decade. Alex, this is a really big deal.” She stepped closer to him. “You did a lot of good tonight.” “Do you have to go?” Alex asked. She nodded. “I do. There’l be fall out from this. You’re kind of scandalous, real y,” she winked, saying it as if she liked that. “I need to manage it. It might be a few days before you see me again, but when I can, I’l find you. We need to spend more time together. Alex, thank you.” “For what?” “For being a good guy,” she said as their lips came together. Across the street, Lorelei and Alex’s friends saw them talk. They each glanced up in surprise when they saw the kiss, al of them very aware of Lorelei’s presence. “Uh,” Wade stammered, not really knowing what to say in that moment. “This is, uh. Wow. This is awkward.” “No,” Lorelei said, shaking her head slowly and watching as her mouth spread into a very satisfied smile. “It’s beautiful.” The guys looked to one another in shock. “Now that just makes it even more awkward,” Drew deadpanned.
Ahmed didn’t head down to his pool hall —wel , not his anymore, of course—until after nine in the morning. He had awoken late to tel his wife the great news from the night before, only to get into a screaming fight with her. Rather, Emina shouted quite a bit. Ahmed had tried defending his decision, but soon sat at their kitchen table with his hands over his bowed head while Emina expounded, at length, about the diminutive size of his brain. The price for the hall was more than fair. Mr. Gorge had offered enough to walk away with a significant profit, in fact, when al was said and done. But it wasn’t that Ahmed disliked his pool hall and wanted to sel it. The hall was doing very well , except that even “very well ” wasn’t good enough in light of the terms of his refinanced business loans. When the economy tanked and refinancing opportunities were to be had, Ahmed had thought he could make better progress in eliminating his start-up debts. Instead, he was taken for a ride, and those refinanced loans crippled his profits. Ahmed had only realized this over the last year and was thril ed to have a chance to get out from under that bad deal. Then he went home to Emina, who reminded him of how tenuous their retirement plans had become. How so much of their savings had been wiped out by the capriciousness of the market. How he was a little old to find a good new job in such a bad economy. And of how his profit margin on the sale, regardless of being quite favorable, was ultimately finite, while they were not yet ready to retire and their future needs were therefore effectively incalculable. She didn’t say this in English, of course, as she rarely spoke English when she was upset. In Bosnian, though, his wife was quite eloquent, regardless of her moods. She was also, even today, quite beautiful. Ahmed still loved his wife every bit as much as he had when he married