Good Girl: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) (15 page)

“
H
ow’s she doing
?” I hear Anthony ask. I turn on my barstool to look at him. He’s a lean fucker compared to me, not real bulky, but I’ve learned over the past few weeks that he’s not someone you wanna fuck with. If you’re doing shit you aren’t supposed to be doing, having Anthony knocking on your door at night is a bad fucking omen.

But I like him. When he’s not working, he’s sitting down and having a beer. He’s pretty chill. Everyone’s still on edge about Tommy though. As I think his name, he walks through the doors of the bar with Vince. We watch as they come up to our right and sit on Anthony’s side.

The bar goes quiet as they take a seat. Everyone’s waiting for something to happen with this case. But it’s gonna take time. There’s only so much postponing and bribing will get him.

“She’s alright.” I answer Anthony as Tommy orders a beer. It’s on the bar before he even finishes, along with Vince’s Jack.

“Ava?” Vince calls out, from the far end of our row. It’s a curved bar so I’ve got a good view of him.

“Yeah.” I don’t volunteer more info. I don’t want to talk about it. I watch my phone every time there’s an alert that she’s home. I know her appointments and work schedules, too. I feel like a fucking creep at this point. In the beginning I was worried about her. We all were. But the better she is, the less she seems to be thinking about me.

I keep waiting to hear her call out for me. I prayed that I’d have a reason to help her. But for over a week, it’s been nothing.

“I don’t like that manager fucker either. He likes to get around,” Vince says from across the bar. They think it’s funny. I lost my shit the other night and they keep holding it over my head.

I grit my teeth. If that bastard makes another pass at Ava, I’m gonna knock his fucking teeth out. She’s such a good girl though, she doesn’t even realize it.

The guys laugh when they see my reaction. But there’s no humor in it for me. I think it’s time I came to grips with reality.

She doesn’t want me. Why would she?

“I never should’ve touched her,” I bite out, and grab the neck of my beer. I take a swig and then another.

“I don’t think it’s like that, Kane,” Vince says. Tommy and Anthony nod their heads.

“I should’ve waited.” I put the bottle down feeling like a fucking failure. Like an asshole. She wasn’t okay, and I was so wrapped up in her that I didn’t even see it. I took advantage of her. I don’t deserve her.

That’s why I’m giving her the space she needs. She genuinely needs me to be gone to get through this. Fuck. It fucking kills me that seeing my face, feeling my hands on her, or hearing my voice would remind her of that hell. I took her pain away, or at least I thought I did. I wonder if I just made it worse. I fell for her too soon. I loved her when she couldn’t possibly love me. Not in a healthy way at least.

Every time I start to think she’s mine and I need to go get her, I have to remind myself that it’s too much like what they did to her. I need to wait until she’s better. And then she’ll come back to me. We’ll work through this together. I’m not giving up though. I know she felt something for me. I just have to wait until it’s the right time. I need some sort of sign.

“Stop pouting like a little bitch,” Tommy groans out. “Jesus, I’m the one getting 50 to life.”

I glare at him. I’m not a Valetti. I shouldn’t even be in this bar. But I’m gonna beat the fucking piss out of him if he keeps it up.

“Just go get her, Kane,” Tommy says.

“Her shrink says it’s alright, right?” Anthony asks. Shame washes over me, along with a little guilt. I may have bugged Ava’s purse. And I may have deliberately listened to her first few sessions. But I’ve been better about giving her space. I was just worried since I hadn’t seen her.

But she was fine. She just didn’t want me.

“The doc isn’t why she’s not seeing me.” I roll the empty bottle between my palms and nod when the bartender asks if I want another.

“You want her?” Vince asks.

I stare at him dead in the eyes. “Fuck yeah, I want her.”

“Go get her.”

“What if I’m the reason for that shit?” That’s what it all boils down to, really. If I’m the one triggering all her pain, how can I expect her to stay with me?

“What if you’re not?” he asks back. “What if you let her go, and you never find out?”

“Look at you,” Anthony says, elbowing Tommy as they snicker at Vince. “We've got a fucking romantic over here.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Vince spits back with a grin. “I’m just saying, I think she’d make a great addition to the family. Mostly ‘cause my wife likes her.”

“What do you mean ‘addition’?” I question him.

“You’re not a made man yet, Kane. It’s gonna take time to put in your dues.” He points his finger at me and raises his voice. “But you sure as fuck are a Valetti.” I hear a few guys let out a cheer and one asshole claps. Poor fucker, everyone looks at him, but he just picks up his beer and smiles.

“Thanks, Vince.” I push out the words. It means a lot to be a member of the Valettis and have a family around me again. But it’s all worth nothing if Ava won’t be a part of it with me.

“She will,” Anthony says, as if he read my mind. “Just go get her.”

He says it like it’s that easy. In the past it was. If I wanted something, I just went and got it.

But this is different. If she says no, then nothing else matters.

“
I
’ll see
you in a month, unless you need me sooner,” Dr. Mae says, as I walk to the door. I give her a tight smile and nod. I still don’t know how I feel about it. Over the past month our meetings have been fewer and fewer. Now it’ll be a month before I see her again. Unless I have a relapse. I haven’t though, since switching meds. Nothing other than normal emotional reactions, as the doctor says.

I feel insecure, but I suppose it’s normal. There aren’t any guarantees in life. My eyes fall to the floor as I shut the door behind me. Like Kane. I haven’t gathered up the courage to call him. I haven’t spoken a word to him in weeks. When I did talk to him before, it was just sobs and pleas to hold me or leave me.

I can’t imagine what his reaction would be if I called him now. If I said I was better and asked him to take me back.

He said he loved me. I feel an unbearable pain in my heart as a thought occurs to me.

I never said it back. I never told him how I felt.

As I walk down the stairs to leave the office building, I pass the clinic. I purse my lips remembering what Dr. Mae said about the nausea. I may have a stubborn bug.

Whatever it is, I need this shit taken care of. I want to eat. I’m hungry all the fucking time now. I pull the doors open and feel relief wash over me. Not a soul in the waiting room. Good, I can get in and I can get out.

I walk straight to the counter and see a young woman with blonde hair pulled into a sleek ponytail and coral painted nails tapping on the keys of her laptop. After a short moment, she looks up at me with a bright smile and asks, “Can I help you?”

“Hi there, I think I have the flu or something, and I just wanted a checkup.”

“Absolutely, I just need you to fill out these forms first, please.” She chomps on a piece of gum in her mouth and hands me a clipboard with a pen clamped at the top. I forgot about this shit. I just want to walk back there and get a prescription. Instead I give her a small smile and walk back to the waiting area to take a seat. I scroll through the lines and fill out the bare minimum.

I stare at the emergency contacts section for a long time. I want to put Kane down; I have no one else.

I want to call him, but I’m scared. I don’t know what I’d do if he’s moved on. I take in a shaky breath and calm my emotions.

I fucking love him. I can’t deny it anymore. Whether it’s right or wrong, I don’t know.

But I do love him. I just need to gather up the courage to tell him. I pick up my phone and click it on and then off. Not now. Right now I need to get some meds to get rid of this fucking bug.

I fill out five fucking pages of the same thing and wait an ungodly amount of time before I’m called back. At least the doctor is there in the hall waiting for me.

“Miss Ivanov. Nice to meet you.” He ushers me through the door to an exam room and then says, “Have a seat.”

I hop up onto the exam table with crinkly paper on top. It still feels unsanitary to me, though.

“So what brings you in today, Ava?” The doctor is an old man. He has to be in his 60s, if not older. The lines around his eyes make him seem approachable and kind. He has the palest blue eyes; they remind me of my father. My heart swells with cheerful memories and then the happiness dims.

I push the thoughts away and return to the present. “I think I have a bug. I’ve been having a difficult time holding food down for a month or so now.”

“I see. Any other symptoms with your nausea? Sore throat? Indigestion?”

I shake my head no. He takes a quick look down at my tummy and asks, “Is there a chance that you could be pregnant?”

His question steals the life from me. Everything stills and my breath halts in my chest. Those fuckers gave me so many shots, the assholes who drugged me, tattooed me and chipped me, but I know they said one was birth control. I know they did. They weren’t talking to me, but it would make sense.

“Would you like to take a test?” he asks, snapping me out of the painful memory.

“Please,” I answer without thinking. He reaches over to a cupboard above a small sink and grabs a small plastic cup. He’s a short man so he has to stretch to reach. I hesitantly take it and exit the room absentmindedly.

Why the fuck didn’t this cross my mind before? Mid-walk I’m struck with horror.

“Pills!” I yell in the hallway, like a fucking lunatic. The doctor exits the exam room and stares at me with his eyebrows raised. I dig in my purse and pull out the prescription bottle. I shove them into his hands like they’re poison.

He stares at the bottle for the longest fucking time. He rotates it and takes his time reading every last fucking word.

My heart won’t beat until I hear him tell me something. I need to know if I hurt my baby. If my own fucking problems hurt my child before he was even born.

Finally, the doctor gives me a smile and hands the bottle back as he reassures me. “You’ll be fine. And so will the baby,
if
you’re pregnant.” He walks a few steps and gestures to an open door.

“Thank you,” I say just above a murmur. My hand rests subconsciously on my belly.

I close the door and take a single breath before my skirt’s around my ankles.

The stream hits my hand and I cuss before getting as much urine as I can into the tiny cup. My nerves are getting the best of me, but I know it’s true. It all makes sense.

I wipe down and wash my hands before wiping the outside of the cup and staring at it. It’s a tiny cup of pee and it could tell me that my world is about to change forever.

It only takes a minute once I’m back into the room for the colors to start showing.

Two lines.

“Congratulations! We’ve found the source of your nausea. It usually eases up around the second trimester.” The old man gives me a smile.

“How far along am I?” I ask. That matters. That really fucking matters.

“Well, that’s hard to say. You’ll have to make an appointment with your gynecologist for an ultrasound for more specificity.”

I nearly cringe. Technically I have one now. But I haven’t gone to see them for anything other than to pee in a cup and take blood. I had to make sure I was healthy after everything I'd been through, after all. But they never said a damn thing about being pregnant.

Maybe it didn’t show up at the time. Maybe I was too newly pregnant and that’s why.

I fucking hope that’s why.

Anxiety creeps up on me. I’m pregnant. My hands hover over my growing baby. I’m going to be a mother. Warmth and happiness flow through me. I lean back against the wall.

Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to do everything I can to give this baby the best possible life.

I don’t know how Kane will react. Tears prick at my eyes. He may not want me, and he may not want this baby. There’s a small chance this baby isn’t even his.

I don’t care.

I brush my tears away and square my shoulders. I’m not going to put this off. I’m going to make that appointment as soon as I get home.

I won’t be
that
woman. I won’t be weak. I won’t be scared. And I’m sure as fuck not going to let Kane’s reaction do anything to stop me from being the best mother I can be.

I won’t let the past ruin my future. I won’t do it.

I’m not broken. I’m a survivor. I splay my hand on my lower belly. I’ll be strong for this baby. I’m going to give him everything I can.

S
he’s taking a really long fucking
time to get out of her appointment. I know her schedule, and she should’ve been done almost an hour ago. I don’t want to startle her by showing up unexpectedly, but calling her on the phone just didn’t seem right.

I walk through the tall glass doors to the office building just in time to see her walking out of the clinic. What the fuck is she doing in there? She’s got a little baggie in her hand that she’s stuffing into her purse.

She looks up from her purse and stops as she sees me.

My heart skips a beat. She’s so fucking beautiful. But the sight of me has her looking like a ghost. I can see the anxiety in her eyes.

Fuck. This isn’t good. My heart clenches, but I walk forward.

She’s going to deny me.

I know it.

“I just wanted to see you.” I don’t know why they’re the first words out of my mouth. Not hi, how are you? None of that. I’m granted a small amount of happiness as her eyes soften and a gentle smile plays at her lips.

There’s a chance. I hold onto it with a fucking death grip. If there’s a chance, I’m taking it.

“Are you feeling okay?” I look up past her and she turns to look at the clinic doors, too.

“Yeah,” she answers after a moment. And then she says, “No. But I will be.”

“Is there anything I can do?” I ask.

Her bottom lip trembles and her eyes water. Fuck. Fuck! This isn’t good. I take a step forward to comfort her, but I stop in my tracks. I can’t take these kinds of liberties. I need to make sure this is what she wants.

“Can I hold you?” I ask.

She nods her head and practically runs into my arms. My heart swells with pride that I can give her this, and I run my hand up and down her back.

“It’s gonna be alright, baby. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be alright.” I try soothing her. I hear the door open behind us and I turn to see an older man walking up the steps. I break away from her for a moment. I need to get her ass somewhere private so I can calm her down. So we can talk.

I press my lips into a hard line and see a door on the left. It’s unmarked, so I turn the knob and it opens. It’s an empty office with paper lining the windows. There’s not one fucking thing in this room and there’s hardly any light coming through, but it’s quiet and she can cry in peace with privacy.

I pull her in and bring her back into my arms, but she pulls away and wipes her eyes. It’s just like that night in the woods. Fear creeps up on me, but I don’t say a fucking word.

If this is it, if it’s the end, I’ll take it like I should and leave her alone so she can find someone better. But I’ll be fucking watching, and I’ll destroy any fucker not good enough for her.

“Kane,” she says in a pained voice. “Do you still love me?” Her voice breaks and her shoulders hunch forward. I can tell she’s scared to ask, but I’m going to put that shit to bed right now.

“Of course I do. I’ll always love you, Ava. Even if you don’t want me, I’ll always love you.”

“I love you, too.” She breathes out the words and wraps her arms around my shoulders. She pulls me into her small body with a force I didn’t know she had. I hold her for a few minutes as she calms herself, just taking in her words.
She loves me.
I fucking knew it.

I swear to fucking God if she follows this up with a “But I can’t be with you,” or “But I’m not in love with you,” it will rip me into fucking pieces. But judging by how she’s hanging onto me, I don’t think she will.

She’s mine. I kiss her hair and she lifts her head back and take my head in her hands to kiss me. It’s a soft kiss and I try to deepen it. I’m rock fucking hard for her. It’s been a month since I’ve been inside her and I fucking need to feel her cumming on my dick. We
need
this.

But she pulls away from me. She needs to stop fucking doing that. Each time it hurts.

“Kane, I have something I have to tell you.” She looks at the ground and then wipes under her eyes.

I put my hands on her hips and give them a small squeeze. “Go for it, baby, whatever it is. Just tell me.”

“I just...I have to tell you.” She looks at me with wide, glassy eyes and then whispers, “I’m pregnant.”

My entire world stops. She’s pregnant.

“How long have you known?” I ask. It fucking hurts that she kept this from me.

She gives me a weak smile. “About five minutes.” Worry clouds her eyes as I stand there dumbfounded.

She’s pregnant; we’re going to have a baby.

We’re going to be parents.

Two minutes ago I thought I might never see her again.

Now she’s telling me she’s pregnant.

“Say something, please.” She looks scared, and I fucking hate it. I don’t want her to be scared.

“Are you feeling okay?” It’s the first thing that comes to mind. I hear pregnancy can be a bitch.

“I’m okay,” she says in a small voice.

“Are we having a boy or a girl?” I ask. That’s fucking important there. What the hell am I going to do with a baby girl?

She huffs a humorless laugh and cries at the same time. “I don’t know, Kane.” Her hand rests on her tummy and she looks down with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how far along I am.”

I let the meaning of her words hit me. My eyes watch her hand rub along her small bump. “Is he healthy?” That’s what really matters. She’s mine, and that means her baby’s mine.

“I don’t know. I think so.” Her voice is slightly sad. “I have to make an appointment.”

“I’ll come with you.” She finally smiles, but it’s small.

I’ll be there every step of the way for our little one. I splay my hand over her belly. That’s my baby in there. I know it. Sure enough, there’s a small bump that wasn’t there when she left me.

“I want you to come home with me.” I’m not going to order her around, not like before. But I’m going to make sure she knows what I want. “I wanna be with you, Ava. I want you back. I want you forever.”

Her hands cup my chin and she stands on her tiptoes to plant a small kiss on my lips. She nods with her eyes closed as I wrap my hands around her waist.

“Yes, Kane.” Hearing her say those words reminds me how fucking hard my dick is.

“Do you still love me?” she asks, her voice laced with worry.

“Of course I do. Don’t ever question it.” I fucking hate that she has to ask.

“I won’t. I love you so much, Kane.” The sincerity in her voice and in her eyes gives me security. She pushes her body against me and kisses me with passion.

I love her touch.

I
need
her touch.

I know she needs me, too.

I pull back from her kiss and stare into her baby blue eyes that are drowning with lust. “Tell me you want me, Ava.”

She doesn’t waste a second. Her voice is breathy. “I want you, Kane.”

“Tell me you’re never going to leave me again.” I need to hear it.

“Never.” She shakes her head.

“Tell me you love me.” I wanna hear it again. Every fucking day.

“I love you, Kane, I love you so much. Please forgive--” I crush her lips with mine, stopping that shit in its tracks.

“Good girl.” I suck on her lip, but she pulls back.

“I’m sorry, Kane.” She gets the words out and I wish she hadn’t.

“Nothing to forgive. Nothing to be sorry over. I love you. This was supposed to happen like this.” My hand rests on her belly, and I lean down to give her a sweet kiss.

She deepens it and I moan into her mouth.

Enough apologies. Enough of this sorry bullshit. We’ve been through hell and back, but what matters is that we have each other.

“I’m never losing you again, Ava. You’re mine now.” I back her up against the wall and lift her ass up to the perfect height for me to slip inside her. She nods her head and answers, “Yes, Kane.”

I don’t care if it’s fucked up. She’s my good girl. I push her panties to the side and undo my zipper. “Keep your eyes on me, baby,” I tell her, as I slip my rigid cock deep into her heat. Feeling her tight cunt wrap around my cock makes me want to bury my head in the crook of her neck and fuck the shit out of her.

But not in this moment.

I need her with me every step of the way. I pull out and fucking love the whimper from her lips. I slam into her and catch her moan in my kiss.

My good girl is loud as hell. This is going to have to be quick.

“Hold onto me, baby.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders, all the while keeping her eyes on mine. My hands grip her ass and I move her easily on and off my dick, never pulling all the way out.

I match the downward stroke with a hard thrust of my hips, making sure I hit her throbbing clit. She bites her bottom lip to keep in the moans of pleasure as I increase my pace.

“I’ll give you more when we get home, baby.” I can already feel my balls drawing up.

She feels so fucking good. And it’s been so long. Her back arches, and her heels dig into my ass.

I know she’s close and I can’t fucking wait to feel her pussy milk my dick. I slam into her faster and harder, pushing her against the wall.

“This is where I belong, Ava. With my arms wrapped around you.” I crush my lips onto hers. She moans into my mouth as I part her lips with my tongue and kiss her with all the passion I have.

I thrust myself deep into her heat and feel her pussy clamp down. Her heels dig into my ass, wanting even more. I silence her moan with my kiss and pull back. My fingers rub around her swollen nub; she’s so fucking close. “And you belong right here. Impaled on my dick.”

Her back arches at my dirty words. Her thighs tremble. She fucking loves this. She loves
me
and what I do to her. I know she does. “Cum for me, Ava,” I whisper in her ear, my lips barely touching her tender skin.

My lips catch her screams as I pinch her clit and send her over the edge. The feeling of her hot, tight pussy spasming around my dick causes a tingling sensation to shoot up my spine and I fucking lose it. I cum violently inside her. A cold sweat breaks out over my body as waves of pleasure go through me. I keep up short, shallow pumps until both of our orgasms have subsided.

Our breath comes in pants as I plant small, open-mouth kisses on her shoulder. She grabs my face in her hands and kisses me like she needs the oxygen in my lungs to breathe. When our frantic breathing calms I pull back and give her one more kiss.

“Good girl.”