Good-bye and Amen (10 page)

Then we stared at each other, hearing what he'd just said. Finally he said, “Sorry, Sylvie. I know you and your mother are very different people.”

But does he?

 

Norman Faithful
The day I got the call from Honolulu, I was stunned, frankly. I didn't want to be alone. Nicky had taken Edith and gone to Maine. I thought of Sylvia. I hadn't seen nearly enough of her since we'd been back. She was working hard, and seemed to have a lot of friends and a full life, and of course, we'd had a lot of settling in to do, not to mention Lady McChesney and her little power trip, and then there was Edie wheezing away at night. But I thought of all those times when maybe Sylvie had cried in the night and wanted her daddy and I wasn't there. I'd hoped this might be a time to pick up where we left off. But too much had happened to her while I was gone. I liked to think of her as my pink and cream little girl, with her braids and her little beads strung onto her shoelaces, wanting me to read her a story before she could go to sleep.

 

Sylvia Faithful
Every time Dad sees that I'm an adult, an adult who sees through him, he gets this sentimental expression, and I know he's going to start in on some sneakers I had when I was five. I don't even remember the damn
things. I'm not really sure they were my sneakers; maybe they were Edie's.

 

Norman Faithful
I reached my hand across the table to hers, and said, “Sylvie. Remember when you were a little girl in pigtails, and—”

 

Sylvia Faithful
I said, “Norman, stop it. I'm a twenty-one-year-old woman. I support myself, I'm getting As in college, you have no idea who I am! You think our whole relationship is me sitting on your lap while you read
Uncle Wiggly
! Get over it! Our whole relationship is me standing around at the coffee hour after church, wanting to blow my brains out, I'm so bored, while you receive your adoring subjects. I'm the one you don't have a single picture of in your living room. You even have pictures of the dog in your living room!”

He looked stunned. He said, “I'm sure that's not true,” and I said, “Fine. Bet.” I took out five twenties and put them on the table, and the question wasn't worth that much to him, he didn't want to lose a hundred dollars. So he said, “Where did you get so much money?” And I said, “I
earned
it, Dad.” And then I couldn't sit still any more. I was afraid I'd start crying or screaming at him, so I left. And I left the money on the table. I could see him through the window as I walked down Lafayette Street toward SoHo. He was still sitting there, staring down at the table as if he didn't know what had just happened to him.

I almost went back in, because he looked confused and sad. But I didn't. I thought, Let him figure it out.

 

Norman Faithful
She never even asked me about Hawaii.

 

Monica Faithful
I stayed in Dundee all that summer. It was the first time since I was little that I'd been there from June to September. It was bliss. I know now that it was a mistake, but I'm still not sure I would go back and change it if I could.

Papa was so glad to have me there. Mother was beginning to repeat herself and be confused. Shirley Eaton had taken over from Ellen Gott, who had retired, and she wasn't used to Mother. I talked her out of quitting two or three times, and by the end of the summer she was so fond of Papa that I knew it would be all right.

I stayed with Eleanor for a couple of days when she came up with Charlesie and Nora over the Fourth. Nora and Edie are almost exactly the same age and they really found each other that summer. When Eleanor's houseguests started arriving, Edie and I moved over to Leeway Cottage. I spent a lot of time in the garden with Mother, and we went sailing with Papa most fine days.

Amelia came up to visit her parents; we had a week together. I read for hours on the porch at Leeway. In August Jeannie came, and all the young began to arrive, Adam and Annie Applegate and Amelia's daughter Barbara. Toby Crane showed up; I hadn't seen him in years. He told me he'd been in love with me when I was fifteen. Unlikely to be true, but sweet of him to say. He and Papa and I cruised down to Camden overnight. Long lazy days and crisp smoky nights. It was just what the doctor ordered.

 

Norman Faithful
All through July, Bella McChesney could be found huddled in groups that would break apart from
one another when I approached. Then she began taking notes whenever we spoke. I mean, at the coffee hour! I asked her to come in to talk about her concerns, and when she arrived, she asked if she could tape the conversation. I said I didn't care to talk to an unseen audience, that this was a private meeting for the benefit of two people only. She got up and left.

 

Monica Faithful
Norman was supposed to come up for two weeks in August, but he kept moving the dates and in the end he didn't come at all. I missed him, but not as much as I would have if I'd been anywhere but Dundee. If he holds that against me, I guess he's entitled.

Anyway, I didn't press him. I thought at the time with the McChesney insurrection heating up that he was wise to stay. He found a perfect apartment for us, and I flew down one weekend to see it before he signed the lease. He seemed awfully distracted. But I didn't like leaving Edie alone with Mother, so I didn't stay to sort it out. He had our furniture all moved into the new apartment by the time we got home. Edie never had to spend another night in the mouse house.

The first Sunday we were back in New York, Bella McChesney came up to me at the coffee hour and said, “Your husband's been a busy boy.” I said, “Yes, and I'm so grateful to him.” She stood looking at me as if deciding whether to answer. I held my ground, even though it was clear she was dying to say more, and finally she walked away. Norman came over and put his arm around me. He said, “I'm glad you're back.” I could see why. At least I thought I could.

 

Sylvia Faithful
Monica invited me to dinner the first week they were back. I could tell Dad hadn't told her about our little contretemps. I brought a loaf of bread and a box of salt as a housewarming present. Monica looked puzzled. It's a Jewish custom; Mom taught it to me, which I told Monica and she was pleased. I'd also brought a really good bottle of wine, from the restaurant. It was a hot night, and they had the windows open so we'd get the evening breeze. The apartment was on a high floor but you could hear the street noise, which I liked.

While Monica and Edie were in the little kitchen, getting ready to serve the supper, Dad came over to me and put an arm around me, and at the same time, slipped something into my jacket pocket. I took it out and looked: my hundred dollars. He said, “Please take it.” Then he looked over at the bookshelf and I saw there was a picture of me from my high school graduation in a silver frame. Wearing my gown and that dorky hat with the tassel. I put the money into my pocket.

At dinner, Edie and I got into a tickling game. I'd wait for her to be distracted, then I'd sneak in a tweak in the ribs. She'd wait for me to be eating and then get me in the armpit, or try to. We got to giggling and Dad had to say, “Now, girls!” but he didn't really seem to mind. Edie kept sneaking looks to see if she could get me again. Then she said, “What's around your neck, Sylvie?” I took it out and showed her.

She said it was pretty, and I told her it was jade, and Monica said, “That looks like a Buddha.” I said that it was one, and Dad put down his fork. He said, “And does it have
special meaning for you, or…” I said, “Or is it just jewelry? It has special meaning for me, Dad.” He gave me this really long look, and then went back to his dinner.

I said, “You know what, Daddy? Not everything I do is about you.” He raised one hand, as if to wave me away, and went on eating.