Gonzo (Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club Book 7) (15 page)

G
onzo

I
’d decided against this
, and I
knew
it was a bad idea, but I’d smelled rejection from her when she’d admitted to never wanting to kiss anyone else, and I couldn’t have her feeling as if I didn’t want her at all.

Now, I could smell the lust coming off her in waves, and somehow I knew if I didn’t give her an orgasm tonight when it hadn’t been planned and she hadn’t been allowed the time to think about it and get nervous, I might never get this good of a chance again.

Something had been wrong the first time she’d asked me to kiss her and I’d had no problem turning her down. I still needed to get to the bottom of the deceit I smelled then, but there was no doubt she wanted this now.

Her skirt had ridden up while we’d kissed and she’d squirmed in my lap, so I made it to her skin before my hand made it to her knee. I stayed put for a while, caressing and fondling the top of her leg before I moved to the inside. The sweet, tangy scent of her lust grew stronger as I teased her inner thigh and continued kissing her gently.

I worried I’d overwhelm her, so I was going slow.

Eventually I moved my hand up, teasing as I slid her dress higher and higher until I finally felt the cotton of her panties.

I pressed the area over her clit and silently rejoiced at her long, throaty moan. She wanted more so I moved my hand inside her panties and massaged the outside of her lips so she’d feel it on her clit, and she moved her hips and spread her legs.

For the first time there was a small hesitation, but her scent told me she still wanted this so I delved a finger between her slick folds and worked her clit hood until I was sure she was ready.

I pulled back from the kiss and her eyes opened in shock as I held two fingers at her entrance.

“I want to look into your eyes the first time I enter you. Tell me you want this. Tell me you won’t hold it against me if this doesn’t work between us.”

She managed to say, “
Please
,” and I decided it’d have to be good enough. I let my fingers slide their way into her, and my cock throbbed in my pants as her eyes rolled back in her head and her lids slowly shuttered.

Damn, she was tight, and I wondered if perhaps I shouldn’t have started with one finger, but I didn’t wonder for long as her hips moved and the arm around my neck gripped me, while her other hand clutched at my shirt as if she were holding on for dear life.

I brought her to her first orgasm in less than five minutes, but I didn’t let her rest when it ended, and in another ten minutes she screamed loud enough I worried she’d wake the twins as I brought her to another orgasm and kept her riding it at least a minute.

When it was finally over, I held eye contact with her as I licked my fingers, and then just held her until she was ready to talk.

However, five minutes later she was just on the edge of dropping off into sleep, but I knew we needed to talk tonight. She needed to face me now and accept what’d happened.

I’d been cradling her in my arms and I adjusted her so she was sitting on my lap. She opened her eyes and looked at me in surprise, and then blushed so hard I had to hold in a chuckle.

“It’s all good, Connie. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Maybe not for you, but I was…
God
!”

She put her face to my chest so I couldn’t see it, and I said, “You were wonderful, and honest, and it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted someone with this intensity.”

My body went tense as I smelled fear, and a second later she looked up and exclaimed, “Oh! I’m supposed to do something for you, right? If we don’t have sex and you…. then I have to do something in return.”

“I’m good, Connie. It’s not the first time I’ve had a hard-on and didn’t do anything about it. Tonight was about you and I
love
the fact I just gave you your first two orgasms.”

“No. I have to do something for you now. I don’t know what, will you show me how to…
do
you?”

I put both hands to the side of her face, used my thumbs to caress her cheeks, kissed her forehead, and asked, “Why are you suddenly afraid?”

“I’m not afraid — I just don’t want to be rude!”

“Connie, the wolf knows when people are afraid. He can smell it. Please don’t lie to me.”

She put her face in her hands and said, “I’m messing this up.”

I pulled her head to my chest, rubbed her back, and breathed in deeply and out slowly a few times. When her breathing slowed as well, I let some authority seep into my voice as I quietly said, “Tell me what’s going through your head.”

“I don’t want you to go to someone else tonight because I couldn’t satisfy you.”

I sighed and carefully considered my words. “If I ever promise you monogamy then I’ll never so much as
consider
sex with someone else. If I promise myself to you then I’ll be yours.”

I stopped myself before I said the rest because it sounded so harsh, but she filled in for me. “But you haven’t promised, which means you’ll do whatever you want when you aren’t with me.”

Okay, so she said it a bit harsher than I’d have worded it, but I couldn’t argue. I might be able to soften the meaning by explaining a few things, though.

“You know my history with relationships is… well, not good. My first wife is dead and my second wife’s in prison for life. I need some time to get used to the idea of giving my heart to someone again. I’d never intended to do so, and now that I’m faced with the prospect of someone I care about enough to…” My voice betrayed my emotions, and I ended by gruffly adding, “
Fuck
, Connie. I just need some time.”

She was quiet a few moments before saying, “Okay, I’ll give you some time if you’ll let me take care of you so you aren’t with someone
tonight
. I don’t ever want you to leave me and go to someone else.
Please
, just give me that.”

“I willed myself to go soft while I’ve held you. I’m good, but if it’ll make you feel better then I’ll sleep in a spare bedroom tonight so you’ll know I didn’t go to someone else.”

Her eyes looked back and forth from my right eye to my left, and she finally said, “No. If you tell me you won’t then I believe you. You’re welcome to sleep in my bed tonight and hold me if you’d like, and then move to the guest bed before I wake the twins.”

“I’d love to hold you tonight and then see the twins in the morning. I need to run out to my car and grab something before we go up.”

“You packed in case I invited you to stay?”

I smiled and kissed her forehead. “I put a go-bag in my trunk the day I bought the car, with clothes and basic necessities to last three days. After the first time I spent the night here, I put a smaller bag with a single change of clothes, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a brush, and a small, secure safe so I can stow my gun without worrying the kids will get to it.”

I
awakened
with my dick so hard it seemed to throb louder than the beat of my heart. A quick look at the clock told me we had just under an hour until the alarm went off and I’d have to move to another bed. She wanted to get the twins up and have them dressed before she told them I was in the guest bedroom because she worried they’d be so excited she wouldn’t be able to get them ready for preschool on time.

Connie wasn’t ready for sex yet, and even if she was, I didn’t want our first time to be a hurried affair before she had to get up and go to work.

I can’t remember the last time I beat off. Oh, wait, yes I can — it was on a yacht in the Caribbean when the only female on board had belonged to another wolf, and we’d been on it for days and days.

If I want sex, there’s almost always someone around to give it to me. Even first thing in the morning, I can usually go to the main room of the clubhouse and find a chick asleep, wake her up and give her a good fuck, and then send her on her way.

I don’t spend too much time at my house, but I haven’t been so horny there I needed to jack myself off.

This morning, however, I was seriously contemplating a trip to the bathroom to ease the pressure. I was spooned behind her and I wasn’t sure I could move away without waking her, so I started with a few super-slow movements to test the waters.

She gave a sexy moan and wiggled her butt backwards into my dick and I had to suppress my own groan. I rolled to my back, but she fell backwards with me and her arm reached down and back to rest on my hip, inches from my cock. Her breathing normalized in a few moments and I tried again, but this time she rolled toward me and propped her leg over me and I gave up trying to be stealthy as I slid out from under her and stood beside the bed.

“Are you okay?’ God, her voice was so fucking sexy when she wasn’t fully awake.

“Yeah, just going to the restroom. Go back to sleep.”

She sat up as I walked away, and my heart sank as I realized I might not pull this off. No way could I take a piss right now, and how was I going to explain why I was in the bathroom five minutes before I pissed.
Fuck
.

“You’re aroused.”

I stopped three feet from the door and kept my back to her.

“What makes you say that?”

“Hard to hide it in the tight underwear you seem to prefer.”

“It’s dark and you have human eyes.”

“The streetlight outside gives enough light to see something
that
big.”

I chuckled as I turned around. “Yeah, I have morning wood. A few minutes in the bathroom and it’ll be gone.”

“Will you let me… darn, I don’t know the right words, but I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel.”

“We aren’t keeping score, Connie.” Her face told me she didn’t care about keeping score, and she wanted to do this.

“Have you ever given anyone a hand job before?”

She shook her head and I asked, “Do you have lotion that doesn’t smell all girly?”

“None of my lotion smells girly. I make it myself and it’s unscented. One of the other scientists has bad allergies so no one can wear perfume or artificial scents, but I didn’t wear them much before, either. I’m a scientist and I know what the chemicals are when I read a label.”

“Where is it?”

She opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out a small jar, and I went back to my side of the bed. I pulled my boxers off before I joined her again, and watched her face as she stared at my cock as if were the most interesting thing she’d seen in ages.

She wanted to explore, and I patiently answered every question even though I wanted to fuck
something
so bad I had to fall back on every self-control exercise I’d learned while trying to figure out how to control my wolf. I found myself saying things like, “We don’t usually call them testicles, they’re my balls,” and, “That’s the head and it’s the most sensitive part of my cock, so be easy with it, but you can get a little rougher with the base.”

I wasn’t sure where she was going when she asked, “People really… I mean, I’ve heard people talk about putting it in their mouth, but it seems awfully big for that.”

I chuckled and pulled her up as I told her, “Sit up and hand me the lotion and I’ll show you how I like hand jobs. I’ll warn you now that I’ll need to do the last minute or two because I’m not wired for letting other people jack me off, but I promise I’ll enjoy every second of you touching me while you get me close.”

I got my cock slick and then her hand slick, and I wrapped her hand around the base of my cock with mine folded over hers and showed her how hard she could grasp at the base, and then helped her get just the right pressure as she pulled up toward the head.

I’d expected her to fumble around, but within a few minutes she nearly had my eyes rolling back in my head. I wouldn’t be able to get off from this, but
damn
if it wasn’t rocking my world.

I probably shouldn’t have let her go as long as she did, but the instant her scent changed I realized her arm was getting tired, and I put my hand on hers. “I need to stand up to finish myself off. Do you have a towel I can use so I don’t make a mess?”

I stood and kept myself on the edge until she returned, and then I closed my eyes and worked my cock until I was ready to go. I have to move my hips as if I’m fucking someone in order to come, and I worried she’d think the ending too violent and it would scare her, but as I leaned forward and made sure I hit the towel I saw fascination on her face, not worry or disgust.

I wiped my hand and cock with a clean section of the towel and then folded it so all of the mess was on the inside. I tossed it on the floor with a mental note to remember to put it in the bathroom hamper later, and crawled back into bed with her.

“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, but Duke had told me over and over that I needed to thank the sweet-butts at the clubhouse when I told them to get lost after I fucked them, so I figured it couldn’t hurt here, either.

Once upon a time I knew how to romance women, but I’d been basically treating them like shit since… well, since I stopped seeing women as human. There’s no nice way to say it — I stopped trusting the entire gender because of what one woman did to my family.

A few women had earned my trust in recent years, but if I’m honest I’ll admit I only allowed myself to even
consider
trusting them because men I respected believed them to be trustworthy. Once I got to know them it took some time to decide for myself that perhaps they weren’t mental cases and wouldn’t go bat-shit-bonkers with no warning,

Connie had earned my trust on her own. She’d taken damned good care of my kids when I wasn’t there for them, but she’d also proven through her actions she’s a rational adult with a good head on her shoulders. She’s a logical scientist and not a normal emotional female.

“If anyone should be thanking someone, it’s me. You’ve had so much patience with me, and what you gave me last night was… I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea it could be so good.”

“It can be much, much better. We’ve only scratched the surface.”

“I don’t see how.”

I brushed my finger over the tip of her adorable nose and then kissed the top of her head. “That’s okay. I’ll show you when you’re ready.”