Gone Wild (5 page)

But then I heard a distinct sound that made my head snap back up. The front door of the cabin was creaking slowly, deliberately open. I ducked down so someone in the house wouldn't be able to see me outside the window. I waited and wished for Adam's voice to call out my name, that he was just stopping in to say hello, but even as I wished it, I knew it was unlikely that he would open my front door like that without me asking him to when the last thing I'd said to him was to leave me alone.

I peeked into the bottom of the window, but I didn't see any movement inside. However, I heard creaking, which stopped abruptly. Straining to see through the small sliver of curtains, I couldn't make anything out. A breeze made a slithering sound through the leaves behind me, and I wondered if the wind could have opened the door, if the wind could make the floorboards creak like that.

And then, as I was staring at the wood walls of my cabin through the curtains, as I was about to kick myself for being an idiot, I saw a shadow, or a man dressed all in black, quickly walk past my line of vision from one s
ide of the cabin to the other.

All breathing stopped on my part as I backed into the hammock and tripped.
I quickly picked myself up and keeping my eye on the cabin, backed up to the trees. When I reached the tree line, I turned and darted through the brush and dried leaves to the path I knew was back there.

I moved
fast, not hesitating to get away. The twigs crackling under my feet sounded so loud. My breath pounded in my ears. When I finally reached the trail, I had one thought in my mind: run. I followed the directions on the trees to cabin one. I looked back at my cabin only once and felt a surge of relief when I didn't see anyone following me.

I sprinted
, breathing fast, my footfalls on the worn track keeping pace with the frantic beating of my heart. I kept running as fast as I could until I saw what had to be cabin one. I silently prayed that Adam was home and not off on the trails as I approached.

5

When I got close to Adam's cabin
, I rested my hands on my knees and tried to slow my breathing, realizing how hard I'd pushed myself. I hiked, but I was no runner, and the overload of oxygen burned my throat and lungs. I chanced a look down the trail where I'd come from. I thought I saw something move in the distance, but I couldn't be sure. Everything felt disjointed and unclear as I tried to catch my breath.

The front door of the cabin swung open hitting the front wall and Adam stepped out onto his porch, a wide wrap-around affair. His porch, like his entire cabin, was much larger than mine. I tried to speak, but I was still catching my breath. Adam smiled oddly at me, noticing my distress.

"Ina, are you all right?" He took one step closer to me and paused as if I might dart like a deer if he moved too fast.

I shook my head. "S
omeone was in my cabin."

His eyes flicked to the trail behind me where I'd come from. He looked angry. "Why do you think that? What happened?" He came
down the stairs quickly and wrapped his arms around me. An hour ago, I would have felt taken aback by the gesture, but now I welcomed his closeness. I snuggled into the smell of him, which was fresh and natural, unlike any scent I'd ever inhaled.

I relayed the event
s of the last few minutes, and as I did, his arms tightened around me. New realizations helped to increase my fear. I spoke them out loud as they came to me.

"This whole time I've been here, since that first night
—I've felt like I wasn't alone." I shook my head and closed my eyes. I kept telling myself to ignore my instincts. And now at the most inappropriate time, I realized I'd done that with Michael too. There'd been signs, clear as day now that I was seeing them in the rear-view, but I'd told my instinct to pipe down and stop ruining my perfect relationship. I didn't share these off-topic realizations with Adam.

"I thought it was you, that maybe you were sneaking around watching me," I explained. "That's why I told you to leave me alone."

He loosened his hold on me and grabbed my arms, looking into my eyes as he spoke. "It wasn't me," he said. "What have you noticed? Tell me everything." He pulled me up the stairs, into his cabin, shutting the door behind us after taking another visual sweep of the front yard.

"Maybe it's another renter?" I really wanted there to be a good explanation.

"I told you. There are no other renters right now." He motioned to the couch and chairs in his living room, and I realized how different this cabin was from mine—much more lived in. This was Adam's home. Books lined shelves built right into the walls. My eye was drawn to one wall of the cabin that had been completely covered in a giant mosaic made from the blue stones. On another wall, an acoustic guitar hung from a hook by its worn strap.

"I was gathering stones, walking up the trail to get service
—" I reached for my phone and realized it was gone. I'd lost it somewhere between then and now.

"What did he look like?" Adam asked, running his hand over his beard.

"I only saw his shadow, and maybe his leg as he turned around the corner of my house. I never saw
him
really."

Adam nodded and searched my face. "I should go down there and check it out."

"No!" I screamed, suddenly realizing how much fear I'd been pretending wasn't there. "Please don't leave me alone right now."

He began to speak, but then shut his mouth and put his hands on his hips. "You're right," he said. "How about if we have some tea?"

I had to wait a minute to make sure I heard him right.

"Tea?"
I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, tea." He strolled over to h
is kitchen like this kind of neighborly meeting happened all the time. I couldn't shake the surprise from my face. He filled a kettle at his sink and set it on the stove. He took tea bags and a plastic bear of honey from a cupboard, mugs from another, and then he set everything on the table and looked at me. I still stood by the mosaic, not having moved since I entered. "Come here," he said. "Let’s talk about it."

"I've told you everything. I don't know what he looked like. Maybe I should have stayed and got a better look." I suddenly felt stupid for running away. Maybe the sun and shadows and wind had played tricks on me. Maybe the only wild thing running around this mountain was my imagination.

"No, you did the right thing. The first thing you need to do is get to a safe place. That's self-defense 101. Just get away."

I nodded and came over to the table. He watched me sit down in the chair adjacent to his and his crystal blue eyes focused on my hands, which I was attempting to fold in front of me on the table. I noticed then that they were shaking, and I used one to try to still the other.

He handed me the teabags, which I unwrapped and placed in our mugs. There wasn't anything to do then but wait for the kettle to sing and think about the fact that there was a person in my cabin, a person who my landlord couldn't even believe was there. Instead of the shaking stopping, I felt the tremors moving up my arms. A tear dropped down my cheek and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"He didn't hurt you,
did he?"

I shook my head no.
My voice came out quiet and young-sounding. "I just hoped to get something real out of this trip. My friends told me I could think about my problems just as well in Jamaica with them this summer, but I wanted to be alone." The tears came heavier as I thought about how different this trip was turning out to be from my expectations. "This was supposed to be a couple weeks of self-discovery, but all I’m discovering is that I’m a total weakling." I shut my eyes and squeezed out a few more tears. When I opened them, Adam was smiling.

"Are you laughing at me?" My tears halted as I stared at him in disbelief.

"No, I'm—" The kettle whistled and he stood up and went to grab it so he could fill our mugs. He spooned honey into each and sat back down. "I fundamentally disagree with the idea that a total weakling would ever come out to this particular destination by herself. I'd say a person would have to be brave as hell to do something like that. That sort of person would interest me immensely." He was doing it again—smiling. It looked out of place on his face, but pleasant. I tried to smile back. It felt awkward through the tears.

We drank our tea in silence, and I felt the fear subsiding as the hot drink and serene company calmed me.
As I began to come to my senses, the fear shifted into something else.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Will you go down there with me?"

"To, to your cabin?" He looked down at his mug and then back at me. "I'll go. You don't need to—"

"I appreciate that, I do." As my hands were still trembling, I squeezed them tight into fists. I was in control here, I reminded myself. "But I want to
be the one who does it."

He stared at me for a moment, thinking. He looked toward the window then back to me. "Okay," he finally said.

"You're not going to fight me on this?"

He grinned. "I'm not your boss, Ina."

*

Before we left his cabin, he walked into a room off of the large open space and came out with a handgun.

"What is that for?" I said, surprised at the shrill sound of my voice.

"Always
be prepared," he said while loading the gun with bullets.

I swallowed and watched his hands deftly handle the weapon. He seemed to know what he was doing. I hadn’t even thought about bringing any kind of weapon with me to search the cabin. Even though I was scared of guns in g
eneral, I was grateful that Adam had one.

As we walked down the trail toward
my cabin, a lump began to form in my throat. It grew bigger until I couldn't swallow. My palms were cold and clammy, and my heart seemed to have petrified in my chest.

The cabin came into view and the setting, the way the sun ray
s spilled through the trees and speckled the house's roof and the land around it with light, looked so peaceful. Birds tweeted in the trees above us and the hammock swung lazily.

The door to the cabin was slightly ajar. Adam walked up to the window on the wall closest to us. The shovel still lay against the building where it had fallen that first morning.
He peeked into the bedroom window.

He turned back to me and leaned over t
o whisper, "I don't see anyone. Let's go in and check it out."

Unable to speak, I nodded. He turned and took a few steps away from me. Then he turned back to me, smiled, and reached out for my hand. I slipped mine in his, and I followed him to the front of the cabin. I squeezed his hand as he climbed the few steps up to the porch, and he squeezed mine in return.

Each creak of the stairs seemed so loud as we climbed them. One thought seemed undeniable to me as it repeated in my head. Had someone sneaked up these stairs and entered the cabin, I would have heard them. Maybe there was no one in there. Maybe it had all been a mistake. Oh god, if he didn't think I was a city slicker dumb ass before, he was bound to think so after this incident.

Pointing the gun upward
, he opened the door slowly. The squeak of the hinges reminded me of the sound I had heard earlier from the clearing. There had been someone, I assured myself. I kept going back and forth in my mind. Even I didn't know what to think. Adam searched the place with his eyes before drawing the gun back and leaning over to tell me he wanted to check the other rooms.

I stood on the cushy throw rug and searched
the room for anything out of place. The room looked exactly as it did when I had left as far as I could tell. I strained to remember if I left my sneakers where they lay, if the drawer under the coffeemaker had been opened when I left. I had no idea. Adam emerged from the bedroom.

"No one's
here now," he said. Noticing me staring at the counter, he added, "Is anything missing?"

"No," I muttered stupidly.
"I'm sorry. I guess I was mistaken." I tried to make the trepidation in my belly go away. It was silly to be worried about irrational fears.

"What makes you think you were wrong?"

I stared at him for a second. "No one is here. Nothing is missing. Why would someone break in to my cabin and then leave?"

He didn't answer at first. He made a face as if the answer were obvious.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head to show I was clueless.

"Maybe what he wanted wasn't here."

I stared stupidly until it hit me. "You think he wanted me?"

His eyes moved from my eyes down the front of me. "It's not out of the question," he said. He set his gun on the counter. I stared at it.

"I can leave that here with you," he said, shaking me from my daydream.

"It was probably nothing," I said. "I don't want a gun."

He didn't argue with me, surprisingly. He walked to the window over the sink and stared out at the clearing. He pulled up on the window then, making sure it was locked. He moved to the next window, pulling up and then pushing the lock tighter. He made his way around the room, tightening every lock.