Gone Too Deep (21 page)

They slogged through the snow at a jog, heading away from the cabin. The ground slanted upward, and the rocky footing was slick, slowing them to a rushed walk until they reached a limestone outcropping edged with stunted bristlecone pines. When Baxter stopped, Ellie almost bumped into his back.

“Don't we need to keep moving?” Although her words weren't loud, Ellie winced at the clear note of panic in them. Her fear overcame her need to be tough, however. “Dad? Shouldn't we go?”

“Need to wait for help,” he said. “Can't keep you safe, Eleanor. I can't, but George can. We need to be here when he gets back.”

As much as Ellie wanted to be George's welcoming committee, she needed to run until she couldn't feel Anderson's hateful stare burning into her back. The long night stretched in front of them, and they wouldn't be there when George arrived if Anderson managed to kill them before morning. “But, Dad—”

“We'll hide.” His unusually firm tone cut off her argument. “I know this place, baby girl. I know this place, and that's how I'll keep you safe.”

After a long second, she sighed. “Okay.” Even as she agreed, the knots of anxiety in her belly twisted tighter.

“Okay.” Baxter smiled, his teeth reflecting a tiny bit of light in the darkness. “Okay. Good. This way.” He started climbing the nearly vertical side of a boulder, and Ellie, biting back a very bad word, followed. It was more manageable than she'd expected, with a rough surface that provided decent hand- and footholds. Baxter looked back to check on her often, and she managed to scramble to the top of the boulder right behind him.

Panting and sweating under her coat, she resisted the urge to unzip, knowing her temporary body heat would soon dissipate.

“This way,” Baxter said in a low voice as he stepped onto a narrow path, barely wider than her feet. On one side was a wall of rock. On the other, the trail dropped off abruptly, diving into the darkness. Ellie peeked over the edge and immediately jerked back, wishing she hadn't looked. She couldn't see the bottom of the drop-off.

Her breath was coming painfully fast, but she ignored it, fighting the urge to yell and stomp and throw a complete tantrum. She didn't want to step onto a skinny ledge. She didn't want to fall off the mountainside to her probable death. She didn't want to be out in the cold another night, especially without George. She didn't want to be without George at all. She didn't want Anderson to be stalking them. She didn't want Baxter to be in danger.
She
didn't want to be in danger. So many things had gone wrong and were continuing to go wrong, and Ellie was sick of it. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do except to step onto a skinny, slick, rock trail and follow her mentally ill father into the darkness. It was her only chance to survive the night.

Her heart beat so hard that it actually made her chest ache as she inched along the slick path. Baxter moved with surprising ease, pulling so far in front of her that he became just a shadowy outline.

“Dad!” she hissed, trying to make her feet move faster without losing her balance. Her foot slipped, only a tiny slide, but it was enough for her to flatten her back against the rock forming the safe side of the trail, her fingers searching blindly for handholds.

“It's okay, Eleanor.” Baxter made his way back to her. “Almost there. Almost there, baby girl. Just…just a few more steps.”

Although she strained her eyes, Ellie couldn't see the “there” about which her dad was talking. Despite her doubt, she forced herself to leave the safety of her position and start her slow shuffle along the trail again.

“Here,” her dad said. It had been, Ellie felt, quite a bit farther than a “few more steps.” The trail widened, opening up to a flat area not unlike the one next to the cave where she and George had spent the night. Hope of another, similar space like that cave rose in her as Baxter slid through the opening between an evergreen and the rock face.

Baxter shifted to the side, and Ellie got her first glimpse of their hiding spot. She came to a dead stop. “No.”

There was no shallow, open, non-claustrophobia-inducing cave. The hiding spot that Baxter had led her into was a stone hole, no more than four feet high and deep enough that the back of the space—if there was one—was hidden by blackness.

“No,” she said again, her voice rising with a sharp note of hysteria.

“Shh,” Baxter warned, his gaze darting around nervously. “He could… He's out there. He's hunting us, baby girl.”

Anderson suddenly seemed like the better option. “I can't, Dad.” Her voice broke, and she had to look away from the narrow opening between two huge rocks. “I can't.”

“You can, Eleanor.” As before, the more upset she got, the calmer he stayed. “I need you to be safe. You'll be safe in there. Hidden.”

“What about you?”

“I'll be with you.”

Her gaze was drawn to the space between the rocks, and she shuddered. “Can't we just stay out here?”

Even before she finished asking, Baxter was shaking his head. “Too exposed.” His hunted gaze scanned the rock rising above them. “Too easy to take us out if we stay here. Please, baby girl?”

The thought of Anderson “taking out” Baxter stiffened her spine. “Fine.” She forced out an exhale, frustrated by the way it quavered. Her gaze never leaving that terrifying dark entrance, Ellie moved closer and closer to the hole, her breath coming in quick pants. As she reached the rocks, she didn't hesitate—she couldn't or she'd lose her nerve. Dropping to her hands and knees, she crawled into the darkness.

It took every ounce of courage she possessed to keep feeling her way into the inky space. Each time she reached forward, groping for any obstacles—rocks, holes, or hungry bears—she had to force her hand to move. Her entire being wanted to flee, to get out of this hole as fast as possible and run away.

The only thing stopping her was the man entering the claustrophobic space behind her. If she told him she couldn't do it, Baxter would let her leave. Then he'd stay outside with her, sitting ducks for Anderson to pick off during the long night. Her dad was the only reason she was able to keep shuffling forward on her palms and knees.

Her gloved fingers brushed something. A scream grew in her throat, and she clenched her teeth to hold it back.
Stay calm
, she told the part of her—a very large part of her—that was barely clinging to reason.
It's not alive. It's not going to hurt you. It's just stone.

“I think we're at the back,” she said, not even caring anymore that her voice shook. She was just happy that she wasn't running screaming through the night.

“Seems about right,” Baxter responded, still sounding unusually calm. “It's been a while since I found this place, but I remember it being pretty shallow.”

Ellie held back a semi-hysterical laugh. It didn't feel very shallow to her. In fact, it felt like the mountain had swallowed her, and the open air was very far away. Her breathing started to get too fast, and she consciously tried to calm herself. Shifting to sit on the uneven, rocky, and so-very-cold ground, she pushed away all thoughts of being trapped in the rock or under several feet of snow. There was a quiet rustling sound next to her as her dad sat to her left. She realized that, if she looked directly at the entrance to the cave, she could see outside. The night was lit by the dull red cast from the fire, and the sight of it took the most urgent edge off her panic.

“Sorry about Grandpa's cabin.”

“Not your fault, baby girl.”

They fell into silence. “Who brings a bomb camping?” she finally asked. “Although I guess they weren't out here to get in touch with nature.”

“Looked improvised,” her dad said. “Could've had some kind of fuel on them from a camp stove or something.”

“Oh! There was a stove in George's pack, the one they stole.”

Baxter hummed thoughtfully. “Runs on white gas, probably. That could've done it.”

Ellie was so tired, she started seeing odd shapes and halos in the darkness. Her body swayed until her shoulder rested against her dad's.

“Try to sleep, baby girl,” he said. “I know it's not the most comfortable spot, but see if you can get a few minutes of shut-eye.”

“What about you?” she asked, her words slurring from exhaustion. “Do you need to sleep?”

“I'll be fine.”

“But what if—”

“Sleep.”

The moment she rested her cheek on her dad's shoulder and closed her eyes, she slipped into a strange half sleep. Instantly, she was back to being trapped under the snow, locked in place, unable to see or hear or move. The darkness was unrelenting. She tried to fight her way back to consciousness, but her body refused to wake completely, leaving her stuck in the horrifying memory.

Although it felt like an eternity, it could've been hours or mere minutes before something startled her and she sat up with a jolt. When she realized she was still trapped in the dark, Ellie tried to bolt to her feet. Only Baxter's hold on her arm kept her from standing and bashing her head into the low rock ceiling.

“Eleanor,” he soothed in a hushed voice. “Baby girl, it's okay.”

“Dad?” The uncertainty in her voice made her sound like she was ten years old again. Trying to shake off the panic that wanted to cling to her, Ellie sank back to sit on the ground. Reality was returning slowly, and the close-in walls of the cave weren't helping her twitchy nerves.

“Yeah, I'm here.” Once she'd sat back down, he released her arm, giving it an awkward pat first.

She missed the contact once it was broken. “What time is it? Do you know?”

“Almost sunrise.”

Her entire body went loose with relief. The sun would light up their hiding spot. Even though the narrow cave would still be too close for her liking, the brightness would help. Best of all was that George would be there soon. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ellie gathered her courage to blurt out the question she'd come all the way to a remote cabin in the Rocky Mountains to ask him..

“Dad, will you come back to Chicago with me?”

He went still next to her. “They'll lock me up…lock me up, baby girl.”

“Yeah.” She didn't even try to lie to him. “It'll just be for a short time, though, while they figure out your meds and a therapy plan.”

Baxter's silence sounded like a definite no, and her throat felt tight.

“Please, Dad? Don't you want to know who the real bad guys are and which ones are just in your head?”

“I know.” From the sound of it, he was rubbing his forearm over his coat sleeve, and Ellie dropped her head in defeat. “You think I don't know, but I know.”

“I thought you wanted another chance to be a dad—to be
my
dad?” Tears burned her eyes, making her voice thick. “You can't have my back if you don't even see me.”

His breath caught audibly. “Baby girl…”

“Dad. Please.”

He didn't agree, but he didn't say no. They were silent for a long time, watching the opening to the cave as the light outside changed from black to charcoal.

The cold from the rock underneath her was permeating her clothes. Ellie started to shiver, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, desperate to hold in the heat. It didn't help that every sound made her jump.

The fact that Anderson was…somewhere, possibly close and very likely angry, did nothing to settle her nervous stomach. She worried more that he'd ambush a returning George than she fretted about Anderson finding her and Baxter, although that nightmarish scenario did run through her mind, as well.

“Sun's coming up.” Baxter lifted his chin toward the cave entrance. Through it, she could see a portion of a dramatic sunrise, with a red band outlining the peaks and adding a streak of color to the dark gray sky. They were the first words he'd said since their talk about him getting medical help.

“Good.” Whether or not he'd go with her to Chicago, she couldn't stay mad at him. He was who he was, and she loved her dad. It would just be easier to love him if he'd stay on his medication. “That'll warm up things.”

“Cold, baby girl?”

“Of course.” She gave him a rueful smile, which he returned, looking relieved. It was wonderful being able to see him again in the dawn light. “It's my permanent state of being nowadays.”

Cold and hungry. Her stomach had started to hurt from emptiness as well as nervousness. She would've gratefully eaten one of Baxter's nasty MREs at that point.

“Soon,” she muttered. “George'll be here soon, and I'll make him take me out for pizza as soon as we get back to Simpson.” She frowned. “If Simpson has a pizza place.”

“Talking to yourself, baby girl? Thought I was…I was the crazy one.” One corner of her dad's mouth quirked up as he gave her a tentative sideways glance.

She smiled back. “I think I'm suffering from delusions brought on by extreme hunger.”

Shifting closer to the cave entrance, Baxter peered outside. “Want me to do some hunting? I could probably dodge Anderson long enough to get us a rabbit.”

“You shouldn't risk going out there.” She made a face. “Also, gross. And if I still find the thought of eating bunnies disgusting, then I'm not even close to starving. I'll let you know if that idea starts getting appetizing.” Another thought occurred to her, making the idea of having Thumper for breakfast even less appealing. “Plus, we can't start a fire in here, even if we did have a way of starting one.”

Her dad glanced out the entrance again. “There's probably still some smoldering pieces of the cabin. We could use one…one of those.”

“If we're still here tonight, then maybe.” The idea that they'd have to spend another night in the dark, stifling confines of the cave made her fight down panic. She wanted to leave the claustrophobic hole and the ruins of the cabin and a possibly lurking Anderson and the memory of how she'd killed a man, and return to civilization—and pizza. But Ellie knew it wouldn't be that easy. Her memories wouldn't be burned along with the cabin. They'd stay with her for the rest of her life.