Gone (Gone #1) (24 page)

Her stomach ached by the time she was done crying. She had nothing left in her. Macy felt like an empty shell of a person. Was that the point? Was that exactly what Chester wanted? If that was the case, he had won. Her heart felt as though it had been ripped to shreds.

She got up and turned the light off. She climbed into bed alone, with no stuffed animal to hold. Even though she was exhausted, she couldn't sleep.

The way he talked about himself, one would think he was a hero, saving her from her life with her real family.

She couldn't see an end in sight. Would he let her go to school? She had already missed however much time she had been gone. Why didn't his parents question it? If he sent her to school, she would at least get some time away from him and maybe make some friends. That was probably the exact thing he didn't want her to do.

She sniffed, needing to blow her nose. She couldn't recall seeing any tissues in the bedroom, so she would have to go to the bathroom to get some toilet paper. Maybe Chester had even put the bear in the hall as a mean reminder that she needed to stay in the room, just as he had done with the picture of her family. Macy hadn't seen that since the first night in the house.

She got out of bed and went to the door. She turned the knob, but her hand slid off. She tried again, but found it wouldn't move. He had locked her inside.

What if she had to use the bathroom? Hadn't he thought of that? She grabbed the knob and twisted it with all the force she could muster. It didn't move. She tried several more times before giving up.

Fresh tears poured down her face, and then she walked back over to the bed. Never before had she felt so dejected—and that was saying something after everything she had already been through.

She had no more fight left in her. She already knew the windows were bolted shut, so there was no way she was going to get out. Luckily she didn't have to go to the bathroom.

Pulling the covers up to her chin, she closed her eyes as the tears stopped. What was the point? What was crying going to get her? Macy found it too easy to push each and every thought out of her head. There was no point, was there? She couldn't get to her parents anyway. She didn't even know where she was, but Chester did. He had already gone back to her house, and the bear had been proof of that.

Had that been his real angle? To remind her that he could hurt them if he needed to? Would he really kill them all if she escaped? She wouldn't put it past him. He was cruel enough to put her through everything he had. It wouldn't take much more effort to finish someone off.

He didn't care about them. The people she loved the most meant nothing to him. He wouldn't even flinch at killing them. She was sure of it. If she were to get away, he would climb into his truck, drive back to her house, and kill them off before she could even figure out where she was, much less find a way to get back to them.

That
was what the bear was all about. Just like with the picture, it was left for her to find it, and then it was gone. He wouldn't leave anything from her house long enough for her to hold onto.

But the memories were something he couldn't take from her. He could take everything else, and he pretty much already had, but he couldn't control her mind. She had every memory of her parents, friends, brother, house, and pets. He couldn't make her forget, even if he could make her call him dad. He would never
be
her dad.

Bar

Alyssa sat up in bed, gasping for air. She was drenched in sweat, and her heart was racing. She had just had another nightmare about Macy. She had always had bad dreams about things happening to her kids, but since Macy had disappeared, waking up didn't help.

She wiped some wet strands of hair away from her face and looked over at Chad. He was sleeping, not snoring as usual, which meant he probably wasn't sleeping well either. When he was deep in sleep, he snored like a chainsaw.

Not wanting to have another bad dream, she got into the shower to get cleaned up. The images from her nightmare wouldn't leave. What made the nightmares worse was the fact that she had nothing good to focus on. When the kids were little, she would sneak into their rooms and watch them sleep peacefully. Even as they got older she did it on occasion, depending on how bad the dream was.

She couldn't do that now.

Physically, she was wiped out. Her legs ached and her neck and shoulders were sore. Had it not been for her racing mind, she could have crawled back into bed and slept for a day, if not more.

She couldn't stop thinking about the worst. Though she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud, she feared Macy's death. She knew that the longer she was gone, the higher the chances were of that happening. The thought of that made her want to vomit. No one had the right to take
her
child. No one. How dare they?

It just wasn't like Macy to take off like that. Even if she had planned on running away, she wouldn't have stayed away this long, causing all this mental anguish to her family. One time when she had been mad about not being allowed to go somewhere with her friends, Macy had staged her own personal hunger strike. That was her type of thing, not running away without a word.

Even if she had met someone online, she wouldn't have left like that. She just wouldn't have. As a mom, Alyssa knew these things. She wondered if her dreams were Macy calling out to her. Tears ran down her face, as they did so many times these days.

She cried until the water ran cold, and then she got dressed. There was no way she could stay in the house for another moment. After that last dream, too bloody to leave her mind, she couldn't sit still. Her home felt like it was closing in on her.

Chad stirred in the bed, startling her. He rolled over, letting out one short snore.

She sighed in relief. Normally, she would have hoped he would wake so she could talk about the dream. He was so good at calming her down, but she didn't want to be calmed down.

Hopefully getting out of the house would help. She grabbed her keys from the nightstand and headed for her car. It started up easily, despite the cold and its recent lack of use.

Alyssa didn't care where she went. She just needed a change of scenery. At least the roads were clear at this hour. She was able to just drive. Having something new to look at was nice, but it didn't change anything. Macy was still gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her life was still spinning out of control. It would never stop until she had Macy back.

Before she knew it, she was at the other side of town. Chad always wanted to avoid the area, because it wasn't as safe as their neighborhood. Run-down apartment buildings lined the streets. There were far too many people on the sidewalks for that time of night. She was pretty sure she saw a drug deal go down at the trunk of a dilapidated old car.

Chills ran down her back. She hoped Macy wasn't here. She wouldn't come here on her own, would she? As Alyssa drove she scanned the people, hoping to see her daughter. Even though she couldn't stand the thought of Macy with the people she saw, she just wanted to see her baby, snatch her up and bring her home.

Not only would she have Macy back, but she would be a hero. She would be the one who found her daughter. Not that she really cared about fame, but after all the accusations, mostly in the media, it would be nice to shove it in everyone's face, letting them know she had absolutely nothing to do with whatever had happened to Macy.

After a few minutes, she was out of that part of town. In fact, she was out of their town and into the next one. It didn't look much different. There was still questionable activity on the streets, but she knew if she kept going she would hit the nicer part of the town. Eventually things became cleaner. There was a cute park, followed by some restaurants, and then a mall. Everything was closed.

A little beyond the mall sat a bar. Bright lights shone from inside, and the parking lot was nearly full. Her stomach rumbled. Maybe she could grab an appetizer and distract herself with whatever was going on inside. She flipped her blinker on and pulled into the parking lot, taking the first available spot she came across.

She checked her purse for cash, finding plenty. She could have a full meal and then some drinks, and still have money to spare. She didn't want to use the credit card and have to explain this to Chad later. She planned on getting back home before he woke up.

Even if he did wake up to find her gone, he wouldn't be able to blame her for needing to get out and see some new sights. It wouldn't fix anything, but maybe she could feel a little better for a short time. She grabbed a pink baseball cap and slid it on, hoping to avoid being recognized. Her family's images were all over the place.

She locked the car and headed inside. She could hear music and billiard balls clacking before she even reached the building.

When she stepped in, no one even glanced up at her. She saw an empty table near the back and took it. After she made herself comfortable, she watched everyone. A couple of rowdy games of pool went on at the far end of the bar. There were several TV's on the walls, all playing different channels. Music played from somewhere. It sounded like the music her kids listened to.

Her stomach rumbled, and she wondered if she was supposed to go up to the bar and order. She hadn't been to a bar in years, since before she was a parent.

Just as she was getting ready to get up, a waitress showed up in front of her. "What do you want?" She was chewing a big wad of gum. At least Alyssa hoped it was gum since she was serving food and drinks.

"Can I get something to eat?"

"Yeah." She pulled out a menu, handing it to Alyssa. "Anything to drink while you wait?"

"Do you have any specials?"

She nodded. "We have a good deal on a daiquiri in a fish bowl."

Alyssa looked around, noticing several others around the bar drinking from a fish bowl. She hoped there had never been fish in them. "I'll take one."

"Coming right up." She walked off, writing on her pad of paper.

It was nice to be treated like a normal human being for a change. For the last week, everyone had been treating her like a fragile doll—one wrong move and she would break.

She looked through the menu, her stomach growling hard. Why was she so hungry? She had eaten a lot of lasagna for dinner, despite being upset over the news about the blood. Maybe her body was trying to make up for lost meals. Didn't it know that the baby it had created was missing? Meals really didn't matter anymore.

The waitress came by, carrying a red fishbowl. She set it on the table in front of Alyssa. "What are you going to order?"

Alyssa ordered a plate of nachos and took a long drink from the straw, enjoying the warm sensations running through her as the liquid made its way to her empty stomach.

Her phone rang in her purse. Had Chad woken up? Grumbling, she pulled it out. It was Valerie. She was on the other end of the globe, and they had been playing phone tag since Zoey's encounter with the intruder. She was feeling more relaxed by the minute. She could handle the conversation now.

"Valerie. How are you?"

"Why is it so loud, Alyssa? Isn't it midnight over there?"

"Something like that. I couldn't sleep, so I put on a movie." Alyssa took another long sip. The fish bowl was half-empty, or was it half-full?

"Oh, okay. Well, what's going on? You sounded upset when you left the message yesterday. Although, you have every reason to be upset. I was just worried about Zoey. Is everything all right?"

"There was a little incident, but she's fine."

"What do you mean?"

It didn't feel like a big deal anymore. "Someone broke in our house, but we changed the locks and had the security system upgraded, so now everything is safer than ever. No one's getting back in." She took another drink.

"Is Zoey okay? Are all of you okay?"

"We're all fine. I didn't want to worry you, Valerie. She can tell you about it herself. She actually saw the guy—she was a hero. You should be proud. Because of her, they were able to draw a sketch of him. He looked like the unabomber, but they caught that guy, right?"

"Zoey saw him?"

"Yeah. She even tried to fight him off. Like I said, you should be proud of her. You raised a fine one, Valerie. Then she came and got us. She was upset, of course, but she didn't even want us to tell you what happened. We couldn't do that."

"She fought him off? Oh, dear lord. I've got to get back home."

"No. Don't do that. You've got all that work to catch up on. She's never been safer than she is now. At least at our house. No one is getting in or out without our knowledge. We got the most expensive of everything."

"Are you sure? I don't want to put any added pressure on you guys."

"No. Not at all. It's nice to have her with us. She and Alex are helping each other out. They've always been like siblings, and now they're really pulling together. It's cute actually."

"If you're sure."

"I can have her call you when I…when she wakes up." Alyssa took another drink, and the bowl was empty.

"Thank you, Alyssa. That would be wonderful. Oh, and get some sleep. You sound awful. If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were drinking."