Gone For You: New Kings Motorcycle Club (3 page)

OH THOR.

NO, really, oh my fucking Thor.

Yep, fucking.

Because I was actually going to have sex with Cale Logan.

And it wasn't because I was such a virgin that she couldn't resist her super sexy first love.

It wasn't because I couldn't resist the big bad biker that had drove her over here.

It wasn't because he said it was going to happen, then whisked her off on his bike, and it was happening.

It wasn't because of how damned bad I wanted it.

It wasn't because my first real crazy bend-my-belly-in-heat kiss happened here, but it was all because...

Getting her head in focus was what he had called it. And that was right. It was because she had got it into focus, and it was because he had known.

Because of what he had shown her. Because he knew to show it to her.

Because he knew her.

But that wasn't making it any easier for her. She was a virgin.

A fucking virgin.

No, really, a fucking virgin.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

"Oh Thor Cale!"

And then I heard how silly I sounded. I laughed. I’d always said “Thor” instead of god and he knew that. I often kept it to my thoughts, though I had shared it with Cale a long time ago. When he laughed like that I felt my panties melt to butter. I had to just tell him.

"I am a virgin," I said, looking into his deep green eyes. I clenched my thighs together, aching for him the way he was looking at me.

I don't know how I got to look into those eyes and say those words, but I know it did something to me.     

Something in my swimsuit parts.

I laughed again.

Damn, if Cale didn't think I was crazy...

He pulled my waist to his, encircling me and pulling me up to him.

My feet never needed to touch the ground again, they way it felt him swooping me up My breasts were near painfully (and deliciously so at that) pressed against the hard wall of his muscled chest. I groaned a little, overtaken by my need for him.

He kissed me. Kissed me for only the third time now? It was a kiss like nothing I had ever felt before. Every inch of me melted, shattered into a thousand pieces. This was not a gentle kiss. No, he overtook me, claimed me as his, dominated me. His tongue explored my own, explored my mouth, made sensual moves inside me that started in mouth and that I felt
everywhere
. I was lost in him. Heard my moan in his mouth like it was somewhere else because I was floating, falling, lost in him.

Finally needing to breathe, he released me. There was such...hunger in his eyes. I felt like a trapped animal, about to be captured as prey.

Except I was captured.

And I wanted every minute of everything he was offering me.

His thumb grazed my lips, so slightly, but I felt myself really fucking melting. Melting into those arms that felt they were always supposed to hold me. The way the firm, callused pad of his thumb burned me up with that slight touch, I could die happy then. Except those strong arms, corded with intense muscles and covered in all sorts of ink that was dangerous, sexy, dangerously sexy...I needed more. So much more!

"You waited for me baby."

It was a statement, not a question.

I gazed deep into his eyes, and nodded like a little kid. Not a little kid anymore...and not waiting anymore...

Yeep.

I waited for him...

I did more than wait.

Suddenly I couldn't be serene in the moment, and words poured out of me like I felt them. "I didn't have a choice, and I never had one. I have always been for you, you are the only boy whose hand I held or who I kissed. No way in hell any hands were going on Cale's girl." I felt a little silly after I said it but I could tell he was pleased.

"Damn, well, you're about to me my woman. Say it, say that no one is ever touchin' Sherry's man, because no one has babe."

I was stunned.

He was very serious about me saying I was his woman. But I was a bundle of nerves in a not so good way now. "What if I am not any good, Cale? What if it sucks and we never shoulda waited?" I could hardly process that he had waited for me, too.

He scooped me up like I was a giant baby, but I felt all woman close to his heart, pressing to his chest.

"Damn if that ain't the dumbest shit ever, Sher, you don't even fuckin' mean that do you?" That pulled me from my reverie, how I was so grateful that he could have waited for me. The way he looked, any woman would have eaten him up faster than chocolate, but he wanted me.

"Oh Thor, of course not…” I was proud that I didn’t stammer, but I was talking too damned fast and couldn’t stop. “But I am just so damn nervous. I know it is supposed to be sweet and magical and perfect-"

"Stop rambling, baby, and while the way you always say Thor instead of god is damned adorable, I am about to be the only damned god you call out you."

"Does that mean I need to blame you every time I stub my toe?"

"Pretty sure it just means you need to beseech me to damn the toe."

"Beseech, Cale Logan? Damn if you needed me as a tutor."

"Aww, I sure as fuck did. And beseech is just a sexy word for beg. Why don't you say it again, baby?"

"I think it has too much hiss. Would you prefer beg?"

"Maybe I would prefer some begging. Maybe I better just get you out of these jeans. Baby, I didn't have sex with anyone else, but I sure as hell plan on making it damned good for you. You just tell me what you like, anything you don't. I am all about making you beg tonight, Sher. Beg for more."

I think I actually fucking swooned, and he held me against him for an extra second before he laid me on the blanket again, attacking my pants as promised.

Each moment his fingers slipped down my jeans, quick as it was, I felt time stop and my lust for Cale make my whole body burn for him.

His fingers, his mouth, were all over me. Pressing my shirt up, he squeezed my breasts. Hard. It felt good and I groaned his name.

His hot tongue dipped onto my stomach, and moved down to my aching
cunt.

“I want to lick your gorgeous cunt until you scream for me to suck harder,” that’s what Cale said to me.

His mouth trailed down, locked over every sensitive part of my flesh, and his hands groped my breasts possessively.

Even with the outside air whipping against my skin, I was under the spell and protection of Cale. He’s like a massive shield of muscle above me and I tremble beneath him with need.

The feel of his tongue and lips against my cunt drives me wild. I am sopping wet for him. I am shaking underneath him. His mouth, his tongue, now his teeth, and I’m shuddering. Heat shoots from me and I’m shattered and reborn from the strength of my orgasm against his face. Drinking me up, Cale brings me to an incredible peak of desire.

I know I said something, but I’m so gone it is like I’m just stuck in ecstasy so far I hardly know what I’m saying or doing. I just know I don’t want Cale to stop what he’s doing.

I screaming out for him. His hands cup my face. His face comes up to mine, and I taste the tangy flavor of me with the maleness of him in my mouth. He kisses me possessively, his mouth devouring mine with intensity but caressing his lips to mine like we were made for only this.

His arms wrap around my body. Pulling me tight to him, he thrusts his large cock deep into, filling me up like he’s searing me. I’m so full with him, and he rolls his hips against me, holding his body and mine together, that I feel I couldn’t possibly take so much of him. Splitting me, he pumps his cock into me deeper and harder, his rolling his tantalizing me. The skin of him against mine driving me over the edge.

My pleasure boils within me an the electric surge of sexual energy within me explodes me like a thunderstorm.

Shuddering against him, my wet cunt clenches around him. I feel his large cock larger yet within me and spurting hot jets of come into my womb. Those strong arms keep me safe and hold me so tight. I’m so gone for him, I didn’t realize I’d been squeezing my eyes shut until he kisses my closed eyes, coming down from his high of orgasm, but still buried inside me.

“I love you, Sherry,” Cale growled against my lips.

“I love you, Cale,” I said, breathy from the exertion of the incredible, incredible sex we just had.

IN MY DAD’S words so very long ago when I had seen him with one of the hangarounds, when I was so young. Eating pussy is a lot different than joking about it. A man in lust says dumb shit like pussy tastes like honey, like a fruity herbal tea.

No, pussy tastes like pussy, and for that I am grateful. A man gone for his girl knows that.

Sherry tasted great, she felt great, and when she moved or moaned or shivered like I seemed to be able to make her do in so many ways, Sherry was just so goddamn perfect I couldn't handle it.

Judging by the squirming, the yelling, the sighing, the shaking, Sherry couldn't handle the Perfect. I gave her Perfects one, two, and then three when I couldn't stand not having my dick inside her. I didn't go for a condom and she didn't notice or give a fuck. I was clean, she was clean, and I wanted to feel the real her against me. And it was all of her against me that I wanted to feel. I hugged every inch of her to every inch of me and squeezed the life out of her. Shivering so good against me, she squeezed the hell out me, so tight and so perfect.

"Does it hurt babe? Do you want it slow?"

"F-f-fu, fuck me fast and hard Cale," she sighed out, "I need you Cale."

She said my name, I was gone.

Sherry told me she needed me, I was gone all over again.

***

Sherry, what you need to know about my MC...

Well, actually, we don't tell our MC business to women, really we are that literal kind of boys club.

But even though I just said that dick shit, don't be freaked out.

Fuck, I didn't know what to say or not to say.

I love Sherry, but I can't drop my MC needs, either. Can't do too much that jeopardizes my already fragile position as the shit brother I have been lately.

Fuck.

The conversation after fucking was not so great. I was glad to have her pressed on my bike against me and not freaking out, but when got back in the motel room I saw that worry back in her eyes.

I couldn’t let her go. Wouldn’t.

"Sherry, my brothers - my MC is not dangerous. They are family. They'd never hurt you. And we won't let those shitbags hurt you, either. My Dad is...we're taking care of them."

Sherry looked at me like I was fuckin' crazy. "What the Thor kinda Tony Soprano shit is that?" she groaned at me.

"You want the fuck outta here, I know, but I am not fuckin' takin' you back to where you were."

Reality hit my Sherry hard, but she hit back. She bit back her pain. Looked at me strong. This tough as shit Sherry was the one who only ever stood up for me. She was my real family when my Dad was busy with MC shit, busy with losing my Mom shit, busy with all the shit but my shit.

Damn. Before I had the MC, I had Sherry. Fuck if I had either of those things right now.

I was being a fucking pussy and she was all strong. I needed to pull myself together.

And just like she had when we were younger, Sherry knew. Those sweet fuckin' blue eyes of hers smiled into mine and I was sound again.

And then my Dad, Bench, Loo, and Train were at the door, and like all MC brothers, they walked right the fuck in.

"OLD LADY?" I didn’t like the sound of that word whatsoever. Hanging out with a bunch of the brothers' old ladies for a night while he took care of club business, knowing he didn't mean their mommas (or did he?) made me wonder just what the hell I had started to allow myself to get comfortable with.

Cale laughed at me, smiling.

I couldn't be offended when his green eyes warmed like that.

At me.

For me.

To me.

I swear to Thor just about anything that man started to do was ready to make me agree to anything.

"Old lady means a biker's forever woman. It is a good thing, I swear. And you'll love these gals. They aren't hangarounds or like any regular broads-"

"Broads, Cale? What the hell old ass word is that? What are you talking about? You just said gals and broads and made sure that I knew they weren't hangarounds which I have heard you say before and don't want to know what that means even more now. Are they wives?"

Cale looked less exasperated like I was starting to feel and instead Cale was looking just humored by what I had said.

Humored.

He kissed me on the forehead, which I wanted to find demeaning or insulting or condescending in any way but all I could find it was really fucking endearing.

Really sweet.

Thor Almighty, I thought the word “fucking” a whole lot more around Cale.

And now my mind was taking me a in a direction I did not consent to.

He kissed me again, probably feeling the heat waves of my brain turning its wheels as he knew it did. But then his eyes looked serious when he answered.

"Old ladies are more than wives. Wives is a citizen thing. We take old ladies, they chose the life, a biker has the most important person in the world to him that ain't a brother, and the club protects her. She's like a member without being a member."

I smiled at him. I couldn't say anything because I was stunned at what my wheels were doing now. Because instead of thinking eep at more danger and gang sounding things, I had started to wax on that as sounding kind of nice.

"You have an old lady, Cale?" I said it and it turned from a laughing moment to a serious, sad thing in the blink of a sentence.

Fuck, what if he did?

I didn't really know Cale anymore.

Didn't know the world he lived in.

I wanted to puke.

"You interested in the position?" he laughed again.

But he still looked serious.

But he hadn't answered.

I wanted to to tell him so. To get him to answer me. Instead, I was stunned.

Was I interested?

"I'm interested in you, Cale. You know I don't want to be a member of the MC."

"Honey, you don't ride and you have all my favorite parts that don't become a member. You could be my old lady though, and babe that is making my dick hard just thinking about it."

"Wow." I actually said it out loud. "I love you, Cale." I hadn't meant to say that out loud, either. Right after we’d had sex, I’d said it. But the reality of the MC crashing over my brain had me freaked out.

"I love you, too, Sherry. But I know you don't want the life. I just want you in mine. We'll talk when I get back."

Fuck if I hadn't done enough talking. Life with Cale had always felt right, but the Life as an old lady wasn't something I knew whether or not I could handle.

***

I couldn’t believe it.

But I knew I was really thinking it. If all biker old ladies were like this, I could only hope to be this cool one day. The night that I thought would last forever waiting for Cale to come back was definitely not so. Sure, I missed him, but for the first time in my life I felt like I really had met people that I could be friends with. People that were fun to hang around with and that were interested in what I said.

As I'd been a freelance writer for several years now, I'd been working mostly with clients though I'd wanted to start writing some things for myself. And I didn't mean books I wrote to promote my business. One of the girls, Pink, was a graphic designer. She was actually the badass behind the awesome tank art many of the MC bikes had and she was all about talking shop with me. The other old ladies didn't mind, and even bitched with me about business and life in general.

They ran a cool tea and coffee cafe and crafting shop, and I swore that I must have stumbled into the coolest batch of awesome ladies that were entrepreneurs and...for once in my life they weren't going to look down on Cale. Not even how I'd kept in touch with them.

"Sweetie, we knew how you'd looked to him when he called you his old lady when he dropped you off that you weren't there yet, but baby you'll love it once you wrap your head around it," Lexi had told me. It was her twang I'd heard on the phone. She was the Brewmaster General at their Tea and Things Cafe, and she was also the least internet inclined and they were explaining to her just why the hell the cafe had to have wi-fi. We laughed, and she told me that it must be nice because that's how I kept up with my old man. "To beeeee" she'd practically squealed onto the end of it when she said it. And she gave me a big hug.

I loved these women.

So what alternate universe was I in where the badass biker ladies were the greatest chicks I'd ever met..and I said chicks...and I could almost stand being away from Cale after being with him for the past incredible days and shirking off our virginities in full force?

After the most incredible coffee confections in the world I'd ever tasted, we went to alcohol, and I drank for the first time in my life in a small enough amount I couldn't believe the floor still moved, and then we started on before bed tea, cuddling up with a movie. I didn't realize until I dreamt re-runs of the feel of Cale's hands on me, or him driving inside me, that he'd been there with me all along through my caffeine, alcohol, and tea haze.

I woke up more confused then ever.

I'd been too embarrassed to ask them whether or not they thought MC life was dangerous, and now I really wanted to hang with them.

When a big biker strolled in and it wasn't Cale, my heart sunk. But Pink's man came in and gave her the deepest, most intimate kiss I'd seen in my life it was like watching something...pornographic. Not because of the ass grab (by Pink of course, she was such a firecracker) or the wandering fingers on her man, but because it was so clear how crazy for each other they were. It didn't matter who was around, and I'm the only one that blushed. They all seemed to be used to intense affections between a biker and his old lady. When they came up for air, Pink's man told me that Cale would be here later tonight, just some stuff between him and Prez going longer.

"Thanks. Is everything okay?" The big biker chuckled at me, a little startling from the leather clad man toweringly high over me, but he waved his hand off the topic, smacked Pink on the ass, and was roaring away before I even realized he'd totally dodged my question.

"Sweetie, we don't talk club business. We're just grateful they're alive and happy to have 'em around when they're here."

My thoughts and confusion must have been written all over my face, but I couldn't figure out what to say.

They just smiled and they ushered me to the coffee table, where the most marvelous confection called latte beckoned me in with its roasted, nutty scent.

I was gonna see Cale tonight.

We were gonna talk.

Thor knows what I was gonna say.

***

“There is no better place than by your side. You are where I wanna be...what we had then, what we have now..it is what I want. But the MC is scary!" I groaned. I was shrill then, "I said it!"

I couldn't meet his eyes then, but words I feared realizing happened, rolling out of my mouth like painful, sour stones: "I have always been too pansy and too naive too Miss Wholesome for you, and now that we are adults it is just worse. So tell me to get the fuck out of your life because I can't seem to own up to dragging my ass out!"

The fury of my words made me tremble. I slammed my eyes shut somewhere in my diatribe, but the very welcome feel of Cale's arms around me, steadying and squeezing me were pulled right from my dreams.

His lips pressed to my ear, and I realized he had actually pulled me up to him, because he was much taller than me and couldn't have done the thing with his lips otherwise.

A good thing.

A really good thing.

A thing I felt in every place and my ears that made me feel like my nerves lit up like stars at his touch, at every slight breath against me.

"You have always been good, in every part of my life. You will never drag that sweet ass out of my life, and you are gonna own being in it. You are what I need. Not some hangaround or someone who grew up hardened by the life from the start. You have always loved me and kept me grounded to reality, and not the world that anyone tries to sell us on. Outside of the club citizen life pegs me biker trash, and MC life pegs me hard as steel...but you keep part of my heart always with you. MC life is scary, but you love me, and that is scarier than anything because if you aren't mine forever there'll be two torn souls out there. I ain't gonna let that happen."

I couldn't breathe before. I didn't notice breathing now.

I just felt the stillness of me against him, a calm I hadn't known my whole life.

I had known that, together, my whole being would feel different.

I had known a part of him that no one else had and knew he could say beautiful things that drugged my mind past anything but clinging to him. He was my light in the fog and I knew I couldn't let go.

But that was distracting me from some cold, hard reality. The Love Of Your Life Is In A Gang reality.

He was the only man I ever loved. Did I really want to save myself for him?

Sacrifice myself for him?

Was it foolish, wishful thinking or truth when I thought no harm would ever come to me?

I felt how hard he clung to me, and I knew how hard the words I were about to say we're for both of us.

"Put me down."

Almost as hard as the next ones.

"Let me go."

***

“I know you’re gone for me like I'm gone for you, babe, so don't even bother trying to deny it."

Well, I was desperately glad to see him. But now I was pissed.

Pissed.

Because I couldn't decide whether I should be mad at him, or mad at me...

"I am gone for you, Cale. I've always been. And I know that you're not like my uncle and those guys-"

"That's right." I could tell he was talking tight through his teeth because he was mad. That was understandable. I just really didn't want Cale to be mad at me. I didn't want to have to deal with any of the drama, and I just wanted to go back to surprising Cale and having a real vacation before I came back to my business. But then I started to be mad, mad at Cale, so when he started talking again, my fire bit back and tore in a whole new direction. "Babe, you gotta see that I'm mad as hell that you got caught up in all the garbage, but babe it ain't your fault. They're only still breathin' because they didn't actually hurt you, and they aren't going to be in my goddamn town anymore after Dad deals with him."

"Cale, I'm so sorry your family got involved."

"Babe," he kissed my hand and held it to him. "The club is my family - and my Dad? He's the prez of the club, I thought you knew that, Sher."

We both laughed.

"I don't know anything about your club. And we don't know each other anymore-"

"See, that's where you're wrong," Cale scooped me into his lap so quick I couldn't process what was happening. With my brain. Other parts that seemed keen on what was happening perked up and let me know, and I was warmer than if I drank three coffees. "We do know each other. Everything else is just window dressin' to the fact that you've always known me, Sherry, and that you'll always know me. So you're gonna be an ol' lady, you're gonna be my old lady, and I'm going to show you what that's going to mean for every night while we're together. We're getting a place so you don't have to stay in this damned motel room anymore, and we're gonna be together. But first, let's do that other thing?"

In the arms of Cale Logan, about to be gently laid on the bed and do the very things I'd dreamed of for so long and more, all I could do was nod and smile. My voice returned to me when he yanked me legs around his shoulders and took me to a place that told me he undeniably knew me.

Back to our hotel, my memories were flooded with each touch from before with each touch now. I knew that even though I'd never had sex that what I was experiencing with Cale was worlds apart from the same again and again. After his mouth was on me, he was inside me, and the way he moved in my shook my world apart.

After several Perfects, I realized that I most certainly wanted to be his old lady.

Just as the words were about to come out of my mouth, the door to the room busted hard and my uncle walked in.