Goldberg Street (7 page)
Authors: David Mamet
B:
No.
A:
We “feel” them . . .
B:
Huh . . .
A:
Big fuckin deal . . .
B:
Yeah.
A:
You know . . . ?
B:
Like
sicknesses . . .
A:
Who
knows
what they are . . . ?
B:
No
one . . .
A:
Just because we
say . . .
B:
. . . that's right . . .
A:
We put a
name
on . . .
B:
. . . yeah. We put a name on it, it makes us comfortable . . .
A:
That's absolutely right.
B:
What does it “mean” . . . ?
A:
Bullshit . . .
B:
That's absolute . . .
A:
It
doesn't
mean that we know what it is.
B:
No.
A:
Bullshit. Bullshit. That's
all that it means.
B:
Yes.
A:
Plants
. . . (Pause.)
Plants
or
flowers
. . . (
Pause
.) or
animals
or
thoughts
. Or
words
. . . what are
words
?
Words
for things, for things themselves . . .
bullshit
for
feelings
about things.
A:
They stand in the
way.
B:
They
do.
A:
Of seeing what they are.
B:
They do.
A:
They're
such
bullshit . . .
B:
They are . . .
A:
. . . ”
feelings
. . . ”
B:
. . . shit . . . (
Pause.
)
A:
Such
shit.
Such
nonsense. (
Pause
.)
B:
You have to have the power to let
go.
A:
You
do.
B:
To go
beyond
. . .
A:
To go, that's absolu . . . that's absolutely
right.
That's absolutely right. (
Pause
.) Something that we
say . . .
we put a
name
on it, and . . . (
Pause.
) and . . . (
Pause.
) and . . . (
Pause.
)
B:
. . . like a
bowling
pencil . . .
A:
I was thinking, that you're walking down the street, you have a
wrapper
of some thing. You say, “I know what I should do. I know that I should throw it in the can.” So you walk toward the can. You're tossing it, alright, the while you are you're knowing that it, I'm sorry, but it's true, while you are, you know that it won't go in. You, God knows why you do it, but you, huh, as if you're playing a
joke
on yourself. One part of your mind does not know what the other, huh . . . ? You toss it toward the can. You
know
it won't go in. It has no chance. You,
you
aren't going back. A part of you says, “You knew that it wasn't going in the thing” . . . but you walk on. You say, “What kind of a
world
is it when people like
me
can
do
things like that? I could have tossed it in the can.” And you walk on. You think, “I should be punished.” As you cross the street you are hit by a cab.
B:
Are you killed?
A:
No. (
Pause
.)
B:
Are you badly injured?
A:
I think so. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not, it's, well, to say you would, you would be crippled for life, on the one hand that seems harsh, you didn't throw the paper in the can. Eh? On the
other
hand, you are, so, you know, who
ever—
I'm talking about, you know in your why go
separate
them? You know you are wrong. You've done a wrong thing. Maybe . . . may . . . (
Pause.
) maybe . . . (
Pause.
)
B:
You want to know there is a God.
A:
The guy, the wrapper.
B:
That's . . . that's . . .
A:
Why would you . . .
B:
You want to know there is a . . .
A:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I
get
that, but why would you want to draw attention to him to yourself?
B:
Behaving
badly.
(
Pause
.) You want to know there is a God, you miss the paper in the can, you don't go back. You're, um, you're
guilty, guilty,
right? You say: “The blah, blah, blah, I'm going to roast in Hell.” And yeah, yeah, so there is a God. “These assholes on the,
they
don't know how bad I am . . .
God
does . . . ” Why not to draw attention to your . . .
B:
. . . yes . . .
A:
By acting
good . . .
well, who
knows
what is good? We're assholes. (
Pause.
) I don't know . . . I don't know. I don't know
anything.
(
Pause.
) The fuckin
house
salad is no good; I'll tell you what I know: The, they call it “
House
salad,” it's no good; a fellow,
and,
you take out a cigar, the
other
guy hands you one of his own says “Here . . . ” alright? “Here, smoke a
good
cigar” . . . it is in
var
iably a piece of shit . . . (
Pause.
) What else? The broad says “I never
did
this before” is lying to herself. Those are the three things that I know.
B:
Does she believe it?
A:
The broad?
B:
Yes.
A:
There's something else that I know but I forgot what it is.
B:
The broad . . .
A:
“Does she believe it?” Yes. I told you. Yes.
B:
Is it true?
A:
No.
VERMONT SKETCHES
Conversations with the Spirit World
Pint's a Pound the World Around
Four of the
Vermont Sketches, Conversations with the Spirit World, Pint's a Pound the World Around, Dowsing,
and
Deer Dogs,
were first presented at The Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York as part of the Marathon 1984 Festival of One-Act Plays on May 24, 1984, with the following cast directed by Gregory Mosher:
Conversations with the Spirit World
Frank Hamilton
Colin Stinton
Pint's a Pound the World Around
W. H. Macy
Joe Ponazecki
Dowsing
Frank Hamilton
Joe Ponazecki
Deer Dogs
W. H. Macy
Colin Stinton
CONVERSATIONS WITH THE SPIRIT WORLD
Characters: Two men:
Morris, James
Morris:
Dowsing for the like the kid says, “What cha doin'?” Says, “I'm
dowsing.
” “What is that?” “I'm looking for this
line . . .
” “Line is
that?
"
. . .
"Line I'm
looking
for . . . ” He points. “That
purple
line . . . ?”
James:
No . . .
Morris:
Yes,
and by dajn if he didn't point it
out.
James:
He
saw
it . . . ?
Morris:
Well, that's what I'm
telling
you . . . “What are you doing?” “Dowsing for a
well
. . . ” By God, I'm trine to get these silly
sticks
to work . . .
James:
. . . uh-huh . . .
Morris:
S'I find this
line,
I'm trying to feel the line and Clark can
see . . .
I'll tell you something else:
Ivers.
James:
Now who is that . . . ?
Morris:
Say eighteen
thirty . . .
say eighteen, to eighteen forty-
five, fifty,
hired man up to Hayes place . . .
James:
Uh-huh . . .
Morris:
.. .he died,
Clara
said that he didn't go
over.
James:
. . . old
Hayes
farm . . .
Morris:
The old
Hayes
farm. The
hired
man. Now: Annie, she was
young,
you know, we'd hear her
talking . . .
James:
. . . uh-huh . . .
Morris:
. . . young folks do, a little kid, you know, a year old, she'd be
talking . . .
James:
She'd be talking to herself . . .
Morris:
Uh-huh . . . one day, we're up there, Clara asks her who she's
talking
to. She says, “This man . . . ”
James:
Uh-huh.
Morris:
So she . . . now, I think,
I think
what Annie says is
Clara
asks her, “What's his
name
?” Annie says “Ivan,” something like that. Later it occurs to me, now where'd she get
that
from . . . ?
James:
The Russians.
Morris:
. . . What
I
thought. But even
so,
something she
heard?
Where would she
hear
that. I told . . . I remember this, I'm telling stories on my
kids . . .
James:
. . . uh-huh . . .
Morris:
To
Chunk,
I think it was . . .
James:
Chunk
Kellog
.
Morris:
Yes. Said, “Where she
gets
it from . . . some man named
Ivan"
He said, “Ask her was it Ivan she said or
Ivers
.” Who he was, as I said, a
hired
man, a hundred
years
ago.
James:
He die a violent death?
Morris:
I don't
know.
What
Chunk
said . . .
yes
.
Yes.
I think he did. He, what
Chunk
said, he didn't want to go across . . .
James:
Uh-huh . . .
Morris:
And, to that
time
he habited the house.
James:
Annie remember this?
Morris:
Well, you don't
know . . .
James:
Uh-huh . . .
Morris:
Whether she, what she
saw,
or the
stories . . .
James:
. . . uh-huh . . .
Morris:
. . . you know . . .
James:
Yes.
Morris:
. . . that she remembers that we'd tell. And she
described
him.
James:
What'd she say?
Morris:
A
man,
you know, I don't remember . . .
beard
James:
. . . uh-huh . . .
Morris:
A heavy
shirt . . .
James:
Mm. (
Pause
.)
Morris:
Reason
I thought
of it, dowsing for water, and
Clark
says . . .
James:
Well, they say ninety percent
anyone
can dowse . . .
Morris:
. . . that's right . . .
James:
. . . and a
hundred
percent all
children.
Morris:
That's right. (
Pause.
) That's right.
James:
Jean
saw something out on the hill.
Morris:
What was that?
James:
. . . the old
sugar
lane . . .
Morris:
Uh-huh . . .
James:
Dusk
one day . . .
Morris:
When was this?
James:
Last fall.
Morris:
Uh-huh.
James:
She got me, I was in the
bedroom,
she comes in . . .
Morris:
What was it . . . ?
James:
She says, “A boy.” (
Pause.
) A boy?
“Out at the entrance to the
lane.
"
“Now, who would
that
be . . . ?”
I could tell, it was
something
she saw. I said, “A
deer
" "No.” “Waal, you know, they put that white
tail
up . . . ”
Morris:
. . . uh-huh . . .
James:
She says, “No, No. It wasn't a
deer”
(
Pause.
) It was a
boy.”
She said she
felt
something, you know, like you do . . .
Morris:
Mm . . .
James:
. . . she looked
around . . .
Morris:
Where was she?
James:
On the porch . . .
Morris:
Mm.
James:
There was a
boy.
He
saw
her, and he ran up the
lane. (
Pause.
) Now: (
Pause.
) Where would he be
coming
from . . . ?
Morris: . . .
I don't know.
James:
Well, I don't know
either.
Nothing up there, and what would he be
doing
up there . . . ? (
Pause.
)
Morris:
Now when was this?
James:
Just at dusk. I said, “You see funny things in that light.” (
Pause.
) “Yes,” she says, “I saw this plain as day, though, and it was a
boy.
He
saw
me, and he ran away.”
Morris:
Did she say what he was wearing?
James:
No, and I'll tell you, I didn't want to
press
her. (
Pause.
)
Morris:
Uh-huh.
James:
. . . cause she was growing frightened. (
Pause.
)
Morris:
She'd
seen
something.
James:
Mm.
Morris:
You know what it was?
James:
No, I don't. (
Pause.
) No.
Morris:
Mm.
James:
I know there's places in the woods where I don't like to
go . . .
Morris:
Mm. (
Pause.
) There's places I don't like to go
either.
(
Pause.
)
James
:
You
don't . . .
Morris:
(
Pause
.) No. (
Pause
.)
James:
Mm.
PINT'S A POUND THE WORLD AROUND
A:
. . . don't have the twelve-inch. We have the ten-inch and the fourteen-inch.
B:
Isn't that always the way?
A:
Seems it is. A number two do?
B:
No.
A:
Alright. The guy should have been in
Tuesday,
I spect him
Friday,
if he don't come then . . . I'll tell you, I've been thinking of switching. ‘Merican
United,
I can get twenty percent over a year, you sign on to their Ownership Subscriber Plan, you get a basis of twenty percent, you want something it's
there.
The next day. Six days.
B:
Where they out of?
A:
Down in Manchester.
Basis
of twenty percent, they've got a
newspaper,
what do you call it, a
flyer,
the
specials,
they can go, sometimes they beat the Marketway sixty percent.
B:
No.
A:
Absolutely.
B:
How's the quality?
A:
Same, better. Most things better, much of . . . what they
do. You
know, they've got their
brand . . .
B:
Uh huh . . .
A:
Good
stuff. Heavy gauge stuff. Some of . . .
you
know their stuff . . .
B:
. . . sure . . .
A:
. . .
same patterns eighteen ninety-eight . . .
B:
When's that, when they got started?
A:
When they got started. Yes. Fellow name of . . . I had the guy in here, I was looking at their stuff since I came in. You
have to sign
up,
what you do, you buy stock in the
company,
the minimum buy-in thirty-two hundred dollars, you own
stock,
at the end of the year they go and pro
rate
you the amount of your sales, and you're discounted based on that.
B:
And what do you do with the discount?
A:
What do you do?
B:
What, do you apply it to your . . .
A:
Well, I guess you do. I never thought of it. I suppose that you . . . or you could take it in cash. I had the guy here just the other day.
B:
They want you to sign up.
A:
The closest,
Jims,
in
Brandenburgs
American . . .
B:
He is . . . ?
A:
Oh yeah. You see his prices in there? Beat the
Marketway
fifteen percent
easily.
On
everything.
He
has
to . . .
B:
They spend their money on advertising.
A:
That's what I'm
saying.
It ain't going in the
stock,
in stock improvement . . . dealer
relations . . .
it's going in the
television
ads. Schiff, started eighteen ninety-eight. American United, the whole operation's built on one thing: the relation with the
dealer.
B:
Mm.
A:
Stockholders are the dealer,
customers
the dealer. Everything. Geared toward one man. I pick up the phone, I say, “Where are the . . .
whatever,
he said that they'd be here on
Thursday.
Marketway, what do
they
care . . . ? No
displays,
very few
incentives..
.like I'm buying
retail
from them. You complain to someone, their attitude, basically, I think, I don't think they do it on
purpose,
but what you get is: if you don't want the franchise, you can turn back. They don't care. What they think, they're doing you a
favor,
all the money they've spent on the TV ads. Some stores, maybe, though I doubt it. Not in
here.
A fella comes in here he wants three of those, four of those, something he broke on a job, he wants it this afternoon:
I'm
built on
service.
He
goes down the road, he can go to the
Star
supply in
Worth,
he's in the habit to come here, I want to
keep
him here. Two things they told me: Never change your hours, never cut your stock.
