Gold Shimmer (24 page)

Calder sets me against the wall and glides his tongue around the chain on my neck and down my cleavage before slowly tasting me all the way up my neck. Once he reaches my ear, he boldly bites the soft lobe, then rumbles against my jaw, “I hope you’re all caught up on your sleep, because I’m going to devour every fucking inch of your sweet body. Wrap those gorgeous legs around me and hold on.”

As he steps into me and trails his tongue back down my chest, I fold my legs around his hips and slide my fingers into his hair. He nips at the fleshy curve of my breast, then does the same to the other before sliding his tongue past my bra and flicking it against my nipple. I squeeze my thighs around his waist as his erection presses against me, the thin material of his pants doing little to keep his hard cock from nudging past my skimpy underwear. My channel floods with want and my fingers twist in the wet locks, pulling him even closer.

Calder groans his approval just before he sucks my nipple into his mouth. Clamping down on me hard, he takes me deep into his mouth with no hesitation. I gasp in sheer bliss and lock my ankles around his muscular backside, allowing myself to just feel.

When he begins to slide my bra strap and shirt down my shoulder, my conscience slams back to reality and my heart suddenly feels like it’s breaking apart. Half is being tugged toward him, while the other half resents that he’s pressing his magnificent body against Celeste so intimately. I never wanted to know this much about
their
sex life. I push on his shoulders. “We have to stop, Calder. This can’t happen.”

Calder lifts his head, his brow furrowed. Setting me down, he frowns past his elevated breathing. “Why not?”

I can’t look him in the eye while I pull my bra strap and shirt back into place, but he hooks his thumb on my jaw and forces me to face him. “I’ve wanted you for four years. I think I’ve waited long enough.”

I’m focused on his jawline, my heart racing crazily, but his comment instantly pulls my gaze to his. “What? But we’ve already…”

He slowly trails his knuckles along my cheekbone. “Already what?”

“You know,” I say, gesturing awkwardly between us. His eyebrow hikes, as if he’s waiting for me to continue. “Been intimate,” I breathe out uncomfortably.

He shakes his head as he begins to unravel the tape from his dog tags around my neck. Once both tags are tape free, he tosses the balled up black tape over his shoulder and says, “No, we haven’t and right now it’s one of my biggest regrets.”

They never had sex?
I’m going to kill Celeste for letting me believe more had gone on between them. More importantly, I don’t want him to be with
her
now, but ugh…I can’t be with him as me. I want to scream my frustration. This
right here
is definitely Celeste’s vengeance on me.

I quickly tug my shirt closed over my chest. “We can’t, Calder.”

He scowls, clearly annoyed. “Why are you running from us?”

I press my lips together, then exhale, looking away. “I just…can’t.”

“I’ve
never
stopped wanting you, Raven,” he says in a fierce tone, his thumb sliding behind my ear.

The fact he used the name I gave him at the party for the first time snags my attention. When my gaze jerks back to his, Calder’s harsh expression settles as he cups my jaw. “I know you’re not Celeste.”

He knows?
Even though my heart soars, a part of me panics.
What if Celeste finds out? I can’t let her back out of our deal.
I need to buy myself time to think through what this means. “I—I don’t understand.”

His green gaze drills into me. “You could play her, but Celeste could never play you. I knew when I went to the Carver estate to apologize for not contacting you, that she wasn’t the woman I was with at that party.” His hold tightens slightly on my jaw. “Who is marrying Ben?”

I swallow the lump of anxiety trying to crowd my throat. “Celeste is.”

He visibly relaxes and his assessing gaze slowly slides over my face, taking in every facet. “I’ll admit the resemblance is scary close, but her eyes don’t sparkle like yours do. The moment you turned around at the party today, I instantly recognized you. What is your real name? Are you Celeste’s secret twin that no one knows about, and why are you going around pretending to be her?”

I shake my head. “We’re not related. I’ve only pretended to be Celeste twice. The night I met you and today.”

“Why?”

I shrug. “The first time was a bit of payback for something from the past.”

“And today,” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“I can’t say.”

His gaze narrows. “You can’t or you won’t?”

I can’t chance Celeste not following through for my father, so I take the offensive against his determined line of questioning. “If you knew Celeste wasn’t the person you were with at the party four years ago, then why did you date her?”

When he doesn’t immediately answer, I realize that we both have things we don’t want to talk about. I should leave while my emotions are only slightly trampled. Shrugging out of his hold, I tug my shirt fully closed. “I—I need to go.” I quickly button it back up and head in the direction of my cell phone.

Calder grabs my hand before I take three steps and turns me around. “Celeste and I never dated. I had my reasons for sticking around when I realized she wasn’t you, but our friendship was just that.”

I don’t like that he doesn’t elaborate on what those reasons were. Plus, if he really wanted to find me, he could’ve contacted Sebastian at any time to find out my real identity through Talia, but he didn’t. Maybe he started to have feelings for Celeste and doesn’t want to admit it. I pull my hand free. “If Celeste didn’t mean anything to you, then why did you look so upset when she got engaged? Why did you leave without saying anything?”

“I left because it was
you
up there agreeing to marry someone else, not her.” Touching my cheek, his tone softens. “You’re the one I want; a girl I only know as Raven.”

My heart melts and I cup my hand over his. “Will you be okay with just knowing that about me for today?” When he starts to shake his head, I say, “I gave my word, Calder. And if there’s one thing you
need
to know about me, it’s that I wouldn’t exist without it.”

Setting his jaw, he pulls me against him and I can’t help the small gasp that escapes at the feel of his hard body pressed along mine once more. “Are you in any danger?” When I shake my head, he continues, “Then I can wait...if you tell me one truth about you that no one else knows.”

Loving his protective nature, I rise up on my tiptoes and cup the back of his neck to whisper in his ear, “You were my first.”

Before I can settle back on my feet, Calder grips my waist, his gaze laser focused and tone crisp. “There’s no way you were a virgin to oral sex. Not the way you moved. You knew exactly what you wanted.”

With my feet barely touching the ground, I grip his shoulders to stay balanced. “I wasn’t new to sex, oral or otherwise. I’m saying you gave me my first real orgasm.”

His brow furrows for a second, then disbelief filters through his features before smug arrogance settles. “I would say it’s a shame that you went that long without one, but damn if I’ll lie. I fucking love that I’m the one who gave you your first.”

Definitely the first one I truly wanted.

“Yeah well, I had a few issues in the past.” Touching his chest, I smile to keep any dark thoughts of Jake from ruining the moment between us. “And I’d really like to know that it wasn’t a fluke. Do you still have that one-hundred-percent satisfaction rating?”

“A
fluke?” An insulted look registers for a split second before my comment sinks in. “Wait…you haven’t had one since then?”

His half laugh sets my cheeks on fire.
Great, he’s laughing at me and probably thinks I’m a freak too
. A pinging sound saves me from having to answer. Walking over to my phone, I flippantly call over my shoulder, “I’m so glad that amuses you. Why don’t you share that ‘full disclosure’ you were going on about.” I pick up my phone and the lock screen mocks me. I try a couple of different combinations, then sigh at my failure to access it.

Calder’s silence is deafening, so I ramble while fiddling with the phone’s volume button to cover how absolutely inadequate I feel. “I understand the fake tattoo was to hide your real one, but why are you doing underground fighting in the first place? With your skills, I don’t understand why you aren’t working with your cousin’s security firm.” The bruising I noticed on his ribs spurs me on. “At least a role like that wouldn’t inflict constant damage to your body.”

I jump when Calder’s warm body presses against my back. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Raven. I was reveling in my good fortune.”

“What good fortune?” I snort, feeling like he’s humoring me.

“The fact that I’ll get to be your first in so many more ways,” he says right before he quickly lowers something black in front of me, then hooks a choker-style necklace around my neck. As my fingers instantly move to touch the piece of metalwork in the center of the half-inch wide leather around my neck, he continues, “I’ve had this for a while. I couldn’t wait to put it on you.”

He turns me to the side so I face the mirror lining the back wall of the bookcase. As my trembling fingers slide over the flying raven slider on the soft leather, his gaze snags mine in the mirror. “The raven needed just the right choker. All I had to do was think of us and it came to me.”

Pressing a kiss to my neck, he slides his lips down my throat, murmuring, “I’m looking forward to claiming ownership over every single orgasm, angel.”

I can’t stop staring at his gift. The emotion that clogs my throat makes it hard to breathe. The raven is majestic in flight and the leather is so soft, but also strong. It’s a badass necklace and one I definitely would’ve chosen on my own if I’d run across such a unique piece, because it would remind me of Calder and our time together that night. But what makes tears blur my vision is the fact that leather is something Celeste would never have worn. “It’s…perfect,” I say, sniffing back my tears.

Calder turns me around, his hands clasping my shoulders. “We connected that night and I had planned to find you, but I didn’t want you anywhere near this fighting stuff. Seeing you there tonight freaked me the fuck out. This Elite group is dangerous. I want you to promise me you’ll never go back to another fight.”

“If they’re so dangerous, what are you doing there? You don’t need the money; you’re a Blake for Pete’s sake.” I ignore the muscle jumping along his jaw. “And if it’s about earning your own way, call Sebastian.”

His fingers flex against my shoulders. “It’s complicated.”

“Then un-complicate it for me.” I touch the bruises on his ribs and hate when he tries not to flinch. “Fighting for a group you know is dangerous is no way to live, Calder.”

“And pretending to be someone you’re not
is
?” he shoots back, folding his muscular arms against his chest.

I know he’s angry that I won’t tell him my name, but I’m bound by my word. Reaching up, I flatten my palm against his pectoral. He tenses under my touch, then lowers his arms to his sides as I explore the Celtic tribal design that swoops over his shoulder and down his arm. “You showed me your tattoo for a reason.” When I reach the end of his tattoo on his forearm, I notice the skin along his pectoral is prickled. Loving that I’m affecting him, I step closer and slide my hand along the pattern that continues across his ribcage. “Tell me about it.”